And, within its sentient works, the interstellar ship moaned.
During the ten long years remaining in the trip to the LR4 System, the ship had plenty of time to track down Marline Kemmings. It explained the situation to her. She had emigrated to a vast orbiting dome in the Sirius System, found her situation unsatisfactory, and was en route back to Earth. Roused from her own cryonic suspension, she listened intently and then agree to be at the colony world LR4-6 when her ex-husband arrived—if it was at all possible.
Fortunately, it was possible.
“I don’t think he’ll recognize me,” Martine said to the ship. “I’ve allowed myself to age. I don’t really approve of entirely halting the aging process.”
He’ll be lucky if he recognizes anything, the ship thought.
At the intersystem spaceport on the colony world of LR4-6, Martine stood waiting for the people aboard the ship to appear on the outer platform. She wondered if she would recognize her former husband. She was a little afraid, but she was glad that she had gotten to LR4-6 in time. It had been close. Another week and his ship would have arrived before hers. Luck is on my side, she said to herself, and scrutinized the newly landed interstellar ship.
People appeared on the platform. She saw him. Victor had changed very little.
As he came down the ramp, holding onto the railing as if weary and hesitant, she came up to him, her hands thrust deep in the pockets of her coat; she felt shy and when she spoke she could hardly hear her own voice.
“Hi, Victor,” she managed to say.
He halted, gazed at her. “I know you,” he said.
“It’s Martine,” she said.
Holding out his hand, he said, smiling, “You heard about the trouble on the ship?”
“The ship contacted me.” She took his hand and held it. “What an ordeal.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Recirculating memories forever. Did I ever tell you about a bee that I was trying to extricate from a spider’s web when I was four years old? The idiotic bee stung me.” He bent down and kissed her. “It’s good to see you,” he said.
“Did the ship—”
“It said it would try to have you here. But it wasn’t sure if you could make it.”
As they walked toward the terminal building, Martine said, “I was lucky; I managed to get a transfer to a military vehicle, a high-velocity-drive ship that just shot along like a mad thing. A new propulsion system entirely.”
Victor Kemmings said, “I have spent more time in my own unconscious mind than any other human in history. Worse than early-twentieth-century psychoanalysis. And the same material over and over again. Did you know I was scared of my mother?”
“I was scared of your mother,” Martine said. They stood at the baggage depot, waiting for his luggage to appear. “This looks like a really nice little planet. Much better than where I was… I haven’t been happy at all.”
“So maybe there’s a cosmic plan,” he said grinning. “You look great.”
“I’m old.”
“Medical science—”
“It was my decision. I like older people.” She surveyed him. He has been hurt a lot by the cryonic malfunction, she said to herself. I can see it in his eyes. They look broken. Broken eyes. Torn down into pieces by fatigue and—defeat. As if his buried early memories swam up and destroyed him. But it’s over, she thought. And I did get here in time.
At the bar in the terminal building, they sat having a drink.
“This old man got me to try Wild Turkey bourbon,” Victor said. “It’s amazing bourbon. He says it’s the best on Earth. He brought a bottle with him from…” His voice died into silence.
“One of your fellow passengers,” Martine finished.
“I guess so,” he said.
“Well, you can stop thinking of the birds and the bees,” Martine said.
“Sex?” he said, and laughed.
“Being stung by a bee, helping a cat catch a bird. That’s all past.”
“That cat,” Victor said, “has been dead one hundred and eighty-two years. I figured it out while they were bringing us out of suspension. Probably just as well. Dorky. Dorky, the killer cat. Nothing like Fat Freddy’s cat.”
“I had to sell the poster,” Martine said. “Finally.”
He frowned.
“Remember?” she said. “You let me have it when we split up. Which I always thought was really good of you.”
“How much did you get for it?”
“A lot. I should pay you something like—” She calculated. “Taking inflation into account, I should pay you about two million dollars.”
“Would you consider,” he said, “instead, in place of the money, my share of the sale of the poster, spending some time with me? Until I get used to this planet?”
“Yes,” she said. And she meant it. Very much.
They finished their drinks and then, with his luggage transported by robot spacecap, made their way to his hotel room.
“This is a nice room,” Marline said, perched on the edge of the bed. “And it has a hologram TV. Turn it on.”
“There’s no use turning it on,” Victor Kemmings said. He stood by the open closet, hanging up his shirts.
“Why not?”
Kemmings said, “There’s nothing on it.”
Going over to the TV set, Martine turned it on. A hockey game materialized, projected out into the room, in full color, and the sound of the game assailed her ears.
“It works fine,” she said.
“I know,” he said. “I can prove it to you. If you have a nail file or something, I’ll unscrew the back plate and show you.”
“But I can—”
“Look at this.” He paused in his work of hanging up his clothes. “Watch me put my hand through the wall.” He placed the palm of his right hand against the wall. “See?”
His hand did not go through the wall because hands do not go through walls; his hand remained pressed against the wall, unmoving. “And the foundation,” he said, “is rotting away.”
“Come and sit down by me,” Martine said.
“I’ve lived this often enough now,” he said. “I’ve lived this over and over again. I come out of suspension; I walk down the ramp; I get my luggage; sometimes I have a drink at the bar and sometimes I come directly to my room. Usually I turn on the TV and then—” He came over and held his hand toward her. “See where the bee stung me?”
She saw no mark on his hand; she took his hand and held it. “There is no bee sting,” she said.
“And when the robot doctor comes, I borrow a tool from him and take off the back plate of the TV set. To prove to him that it has no chassis, no components in it. And then the ship starts me over again.”
“Victor,” she said. “Look at your hand.”
“This is the first time you’ve been here, though,” he said.
“Sit down,” she said.
“Okay.” He seated himself on the bed, beside her, but not too close to her.
“Won’t you sit closer to me?” she said.
“It makes me too sad,” he said. “Remembering you. I really loved you. I wish this was real.”
Martine said, “I will sit with you until it is real for you.”
“I’m going to try reliving the part with the cat,” he said, “and this time not pick up the cat and not let it get the bird. If I do that, maybe my life will change so that it turns into something happy. Something that is real. My real mistake was separating from you. Here; I’ll put my hand through you.” He placed his hand against her arm. The pressure of his muscles was vigorous; she felt the weight, the physical presence of him, against her. “See?” he said. “It goes right through you.”
“And all this,” she said, “because you killed a bird when you were a little boy.”
“No,” he said. “All this because of a failure in the temperature-regulating assembly aboard the ship. I’m not down to the proper temperature. There’s just enough warmth left in my brain cells to per
mit cerebral activity.” He stood up then, stretched, smiled at her. “Shall we go get some dinner?” he asked.
She said, “I’m sorry. I’m not hungry.”
“I am. I’m going to have some of the local seafood. The brochure says it’s terrific. Come along anyhow; maybe when you see the food and smell it you’ll change your mind.”
Gathering up her coat and purse, she came with him. “This is a beautiful little planet,” he said. “I’ve explored it dozens of times. I know it thoroughly. We should stop downstairs at the pharmacy for some Bactine, though. For my hand. It’s beginning to swell and it hurts like hell.” He showed her his hand. “It hurts more this time than ever before.”
“Do you want me to come back to you?” Martine said.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes,” she said. “I’ll stay with you as long as you want. I agree; we should never have been separated.”
Victor Kemmings said, “The poster is torn.”
“What?” she said.
“We should have framed it,” he said. “We didn’t have sense enough to take care of it. Now it’s torn. And the artist is dead.”
Rautavaara’s Case
The three technicians of the floating globe monitored fluctuations in interstellar magnetic fields, and they did a good job up until the moment they died.
Basalt fragments, traveling at enormous velocity in relation to their globe, ruptured their barrier and abolished their air supply. The two males were slow to react and did nothing. The young female technician from Finland, Agneta Rautavaara, managed to get her emergency helmet on in time, but the hoses tangled; she aspirated and died: a melancholy death, strangling on her own vomit. Herewith ended the survey task of EX208, their floating globe. In another month, the technicians would have been relieved and returned to Earth.
We could not get there in time to save the three Earth persons, but we did dispatch a robot to see if any of them could be regenerated from death. Earth persons do not like us, but in this case their survey globe was operating in our vicinity. There are rules governing such emergencies that are binding on all races in the galaxy. We had no desire to help Earth persons, but we obey the rules.
The rules called for an attempt on our part to restore life to the three dead technicians, but we allowed a robot to take on the responsibility, and perhaps there we erred. Also, the rules required us to notify the closest Earthship of the calamity and we chose not to. I will not defend this omission nor analyze our reasoning at the time.
The robot signaled that it had found no brain function in the two males and that their neural tissue had degenerated. Regarding Agneta Rautavaara, a slight brain wave could be detected. So in Rautavaara’s case the robot would begin a restoration attempt. However, since it could not make a judgment decision on its own, it contacted us. We told it to make the attempt. The fault—the guilt, so to speak—therefore lies with us. Had we been on the scene, we would have known better. We accept the blame.
An hour later the robot signaled that it had restored significant brain function in Rautavaara by supplying her brain with oxygen-rich blood from her dead body. The oxygen, but not the nutriments, came from the robot. We instructed it to begin synthesis of nutriments by processing Rautavaara’s body, by using it as raw material. This is the point at which the Earth authorities later made their most profound objection. But we did not have any other source of nutriments. Since we ourselves are a plasma we could not offer our own bodies.
The objection that we could have used the bodies of Rautavaara’s dead companions was not phrased properly when we introduced it as evidence. Briefly, we felt that, based on the robot’s reports, the other bodies were too contaminated by radioactivity and hence were toxic to Rautavaara; nutriments derived from that source would soon poison her brain. If you do not accept our logic, it does not matter to us; this was the situation as we construed it from our remote point. This is why I say our real error lay in sending a robot in rather than going ourselves. If you wish to indict us, indict us for that.
We asked the robot to patch into Rautavaara’s brain and transmit her thoughts to us, so that we could assess the physical condition of her neural cells.
The impression that we received was sanguine. It was at this point that we notified the Earth authorities. We informed them of the accident that had destroyed EX208; we informed them that two of the technicians, the males, were irretrievably dead; we informed them that through swift efforts on our part we had the one female showing stable cephalic activity, which is to say, we had her brain alive.
“Her what?”the Earth person radio operator said, in response to our call.
“We are supplying her nutriments derived from her body—“
“Oh Christ,” the Earth person radio operator said. “You can’t feed her brain that way. What good is a brain? Qua brain?”
“It can think,” we said.
“All right; we’ll take over now,” the Earth person radio operator said. “But there will be an inquiry.”
“Was it not right to save her brain?” we asked. “After all, the psyche is located in the brain, the personality. The physical body is a device by which the brain relates to—”
“Give me the location of EX208,” the Earth person radio operator said. “We’ll send a ship there at once. You should have notified us at once before trying your own rescue efforts. You Approximations simply do not understand somatic life forms.”
It is offensive to us to hear the term “Approximations.” It is an Earth slur regarding our origin in the Proxima Centaurus System. What it implies is that we are not authentic, that we merely simulate life.
This was our reward in the Rautavaara Case. To be derided. And, indeed, there was an inquiry.
Within the depths of her damaged brain, Agneta Rautavaara tasted acid vomit and recoiled in fear and aversion. All around her, EX208 lay in splinters. She could see Travis and Elms; they had been torn to bloody bits and the blood had frozen. Ice covered the interior of the globe. Air gone, temperature gone… what’s keeping me alive? she wondered. She put her hands up and touched her face—or rather tried to touch her face. My helmet, she thought. I got it on it time.
The ice, which covered everything, began to melt. The severed arms and legs of her two companions rejoined their bodies. Basalt fragments, embedded in the hull of the globe, withdrew and flew away. Time, Agneta realized, is running backward. How strange! Air returned; she heard the dull tone of the indicator horn. And then, slowly, temperature. Travis and Elms, groggily, got to their feet. They stared around them, bewildered. She felt like laughing, but it was too grim for that. Apparently the force of the impact had caused a local time perturbation. “Both of you sit down,” she said.
Travis said thickly, “I—okay; you’re right.” He seated himself at his console and pressed the button that strapped him securely in place. Elms, however, just stood.
“We were hit by rather large particles,” Agneta said.
“Yes,” Elms said.
“Large enough and with enough impact to perturb time,” Agneta said.
“So we’ve gone back to before the event.”
“Well, the magnetic fields are partly responsible,” Travis said. He rubbed his eyes; his hands shook. “Get your helmet off, Agneta. You don’t need it.”
“But the impact is coming,” she said.
Both men glanced at her.
“We’ll repeat the accident,” she said.
“Shit,” Travis said, “I’ll take the EX out of here.” He pushed many keys on his console. “It’ll miss us.”
Agneta removed her helmet. She stepped out of her boots, picked them up… and then saw the Figure.
The Figure stood behind the three of them. It was Christ.
“Look,” she said to Travis and Elms.
Both men looked.
The Figure wore a traditional white robe, sandals; his hair was long and pale with what looked like moonlight. Bearded, his face was gentle and wise.
Just like in the holo-ads the churches back home put out, Agneta thought. Robed, bearded, wise and gentle and his arms slightly raised. Even the nimbus is there. How odd that our preconceptions were so accurate.
“Oh my God,” Travis said. Both men stared and she stared, too. “He’s come for us.”
“Well, it’s fine with me,” Elms said.
“Sure, it would be fine with you,” Travis said bitterly. “You have no wife and children. And what about Agneta? She’s only three hundred years old; she’s a baby.”
Christ said, “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty; for cut off from me, you can do nothing.”
“I’m getting the EX out of this vector,” Travis said.
“My little children,” Christ said, “I shall not be with you much longer.”
“Good,” Travis said. The EX was now moving at peak velocity in the direction of the Sirius axis; their star chart showed massive flux.
“Damn you, Travis,” Elms said savagely. “This is a great opportunity. I mean, how many people have seen Christ? I mean, it is Christ. You are Christ, aren’t you?” he asked the Figure.
Christ said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you know me, you know my Father too. From this moment, you know him and have seen him.”
“There,” Elms said, his face showing happiness. “See? I want it known that I am very glad of this occasion, Mr.—” He broke off. “I was going to say, ‘Mr. Christ.’ That’s stupid; that is really stupid. Christ, Mr. Christ, will you sit down? You can sit at my console or at Ms. Rautavaara’s. Isn’t that right, Agneta? This here is Walter Travis; he’s not a Christian, but I am; I’ve been a Christian all my life. Well, most of my life. I’m not sure about Ms. Rautavaara. What do you say, Agneta?”
“Stop the babbling, Elms,” Travis said. To him, Elms said, “He’s going to judge us.”
Christ said, “If anyone hears my words and does not keep them faithfully, it is not I who shall condemn him, since I have come not to condemn the world but to save the world; he who rejects me and refuses my words has his judge already.”
The Collected Stories of Philip K. Dick 5: The Eye of the Sibyl Page 49