I thought he might’ve felt the same way. Then again, he did also admit that watching out for me has everything to do with that poor girl he killed…
Ugh.
I guess it’s like Vegas. What happens in the oubliette, stays in the oubliette.
I take my time washing up. After I’m cleaned, dried, and dressed, I step aside so that he can take his turn. I mutter snarky insults under my breath as I braid my hair, poking fun at how Rys takes even longer in the shower than I do.
The cold shoulder continues throughout the rest of the day. He purposely keeps his back to me, watching the strait outside of our cell as if that’s more entertaining than I am. He barely says three words to me after the derisive Unseelie guard delivers us our last meal of the day.
No. Wait. That’s not right. He actually said four words.
“You can have mine.”
I don’t touch his plate, purposely ignoring his offer even though I’m still hungry after I eat my portion. He did that while we were in the oubliette, too, so I know he’s gotta be starving.
He picks at a few pieces when he realizes I’m refusing to touch it, then sets it aside as if he’s saving it—which he probably is. Then, as I watch him with a pretty obvious scowl of my own, he removes the sheet from the cot like I’ve seen him do before and then lays it out on the floor.
That’s it. I’ve had enough.
“What are you doing?”
If he’s surprised at my question, he doesn’t show it. He just shrugs, then straightens the nearest corner of the sheet, laying it flat with the palm of his hand. “It takes a lot to fight the effects of the shadows. I need my rest. I never sleep enough when I’m down there.”
That’s right. I kept dozing off but Rys maybe allowed himself a couple of hours of sleep at most. He’s gotta be bushed.
But there’s no way in hell I’m going to stand back and let him sleep on the floor.
“Okay. Well, if you’re ready for bed, come over here. We can share.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?” After how close together we slept while we were in the dark oubliette, I no longer have any issues sharing the cot with him. I didn’t think Rys would, either, and I’m kind of surprised—and a little insulted—when he says that. “Is it because the guards’ll notice? Screw ‘em. If they didn’t want us to share a cot, they could’ve given us two. Or, better yet, not make us share a cell when my old one is still empty.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“If I’m that close to you I’ll want to...” His voice trails off, then he gives his head a sharp jerk. “You forget that, Leannán. Take the bed. I deserve the floor.”
Oh, hell no. He doesn’t honestly think I’m going to let him go without finishing his sentence, does he?
“You’ll want to what?”
He clamps his mouth shut.
I push off the cot, moving toward him. “You’ll want to what, Rys?” I ask again. Then I supply the answer for him. “Touch me? You already did. Don’t you remember?””
“The shadows are cold. You had no other choice. You needed my heat.”
I did. I can’t deny that. But I don’t think Rys has realized that that had been my excuse to get close to him. I used him to touch me because I didn’t want to be that untouched, unclaimed human anymore. Of course it backfired on me. I wanted him to be addicted to me so that he’d watch over me, maybe even take me with him if he ever got his head out of his ass and decided to leave this place.
Look at that. Now I’m the one who’s addicted.
And, you know, I thought my attraction to Rys had something to do with Posey rubbing off on me. The night they moved me from her wing to Rys’s cell, I couldn’t stop fantasizing over him while he was washing up, and I tried to convince myself that I was just lusting after him because he was there—and because it was safe.
Unlike Veron and Dusk and some of the other guards, he didn’t look at me like something to own, to take, to claim. I wasn’t just a walking, talking, breathing pussy. I might be human, but I had feelings.
Rys actually took care of me. And, okay, maybe I didn’t see it like that at first—sue me for being suspicious considering everything I’ve gone through in Faerie—but I can’t deny it now. Between the pear he saved me so that I wouldn’t go hungry, and the faerie fire he managed to conjure to protect me from Dusk… he’s been watching my back even before the bargain we made that night in our cell.
And now, knowing that Rys has been taking punishments for me, trying to keep the guards off my back even if it made his own imprisonment worse, I have to reassess my impression of Rys and how he feels about me.
It’s so obvious now. He didn’t look at me like he wanted me because my scarred Seelie never thought he could have me. Now the tortured look in his eyes tells me that he’s still convinced that he can’t.
The traitor. The human lover.
He wants a human to love?
I’m right here.
“Touch me,” I tell him. “It’s okay. Then we can share the cot and get some sleep.”
Rys’s expression is a pained one, but it doesn’t last. He regains control of himself in a heartbeat, his lips thinning as he confesses, “I shouldn’t.”
He probably shouldn’t. Considering what happened the first time he did, I’m pretty sure it’s only going to escalate if I give him permission again.
And, you know what?
I’m looking forward to it.
I move into him. I used the magic shower box earlier to freshen my clothes so I’m still wearing the same outfit I’ve had on for weeks now: black tank top, black jeans, my underwear, and my boots. I was relieved to see that my leather jacket is still in the cell, but I didn’t bother shrugging it on just yet.
His golden eyes flash as his gaze is drawn down to my chest, noticing the cleavage that I normally keep covered up.
Gotcha.
“What’s that matter, Rys? Don’t you want to touch me?”
“You don’t want me to answer that.”
I do. Heaven help me, but I do.
At the promise in his husky whisper, I can’t help but shiver.
He immediately becomes concerned. “Are you cold?”
Rubbing my hands up and down my bare arms, I nod. “I haven’t lost the chill from the oubliette.”
Rys’s guarded stare never leaves my face. If he wanted to, he could point out that my leather jacket is still crumpled up in the corner. Or maybe he could call me on my bullshit because, well, it’s been hours and I sure as hell used all the hot water in the shower box in an act of petty revenge.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, with an unreadable expression, he kicks the sheet on the floor to the side with the tip of his boot before gliding over to the cot. He sits down on the edge, widening his legs as he opens his arms.
I get it. He’s not going to touch me. If I want to get close to him, it’s going to be on my terms. It’s not enough that I’m willing to give him permission. He won’t take it—but he’ll give it away.
Rys is giving me permission.
He’s giving me the power—and the control.
Is that even possible for one of the fae? From all the other ones I’ve met, I never would’ve thought it was possible. Then again, Rys is like nothing I’ve ever seen before—or like no one I’ve ever met.
And I want him.
Before he can change his mind, I hike up my jeans and put one knee on the cot. I throw my other leg over his waist, straddling him like I did in the oubliette. Sure, the cot is narrow. If we laid side by side, it would be a tight fit. Then I think of how close we were in the oubliette.
Yeah. I can work with this.
I wrap my arms around his waist. “Much better.”
Rys lets me hold him, but he doesn’t reciprocate. He’s more like a statue, completely still and unmoving as I wiggle to get even closer to him. I hear a sharp intake of breath as my ass brushes aga
inst the bulge trapped along the top of his thigh before he stiffens even more.
Oh.
Oh.
I move so that I’m not crushing him, but I know what I felt. His erection is like a length of steel, hard and thick, and undeniable. Though I’d never be able to tell from his face, he’s as aroused as I am.
It’s the touch. I know it is. It’s part of the magic. With a single touch, the fae can siphon off so much power from a human. It gives them strength. It gives them control. Because they don’t have their own, the fae are taking part of a human’s soul inside of them. For as long as it lasts, they’re almost invincible.
There’s a balance in Faerie. Even though a hierarchy exists in this world, with the fae at the very top, it all falls apart without balance. A fae might take from a human, but they’re sure to leave something behind; otherwise there would be a debt, and that just can’t happen. So while the fae leech with their touch, they leave behind so much pleasure that the human doesn’t mind bargaining their soul.
I should know. After our time together in the oubliette, I so don’t mind at all right now.
11
“Hey. Are you alright? Is this okay?”
“Perfectly. Don’t worry about me.”
This position has me feeling a little provocative, and even more mischievous. “You’re kinda stiff, Rys.”
“Mm.”
“Are you sure I’m not hurting you?”
“Quite sure.”
His jaw is tight. Look at him. The poor guy is doing everything he can to stay in control. Let’s see if I can change that.
Before I can think better of what I’m about to do, I kiss the underside of his jaw. “Relax.”
“Are you trying to seduce me, Leannán?”
“Depends.” I grin up at him. Okay. So he can see right through me. That’s fine. “Is it working?”
Touching him feels so damn good. And maybe it has everything to do with his fae abilities, I don’t know, but I don’t care. Something tells me that my need to get close to him has more to do with the fact that he’s Rys. If Veron got his paws on me, there’s no way it would feel half as amazing. I’m sure of it. And Dusk—
I shiver again. Not out of lust or because of the chill, but fear. He hasn’t returned to the prison yet, but I don’t know how much longer he needs to recover. The fae have miraculous healing properties. How else could he have survived the fire in the first place?
What will he do when he realizes that I let Rys touch me? That I chose to give a part of me to the Seelie prisoner instead of the Unseelie guard—and that I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Not just to shield myself, either, because it just seemed right?
What will he do when he realizes that I refused him, but that I willingly slept with Rys?
Because, so long as Rys is down with it, it’s happening. I crossed the point of no return when I climbed into his lap again and felt the bulge pushing up against my ass.
His body is ready for this.
Know what?
So is mine.
“You’re still cool,” he murmurs, picking up on my shiver. So what if he misinterprets the cause behind it? It pushes him to make his next move. Rys hesitates for a moment, then comes to a decision. His body relaxes, his back bowing as he opens his arms, wrapping them loosely around me. He cups my elbows, his chin hovering over my shoulder. “Stay with me. I’ll give you some of my light.”
Just one press of his skin against mine and I lose myself. Not only that, but I lose all control and want to just stay wrapped up in his arms forever. It’s safe here, it’s secure, and I can forget all about the trouble that I’m in.
I need the touch. Crave it. Rys does, too. He’s taking everything I allow him, running his fingers lightly up the backs of my bare arms, the heat of his breath tickling the tip of my ear as he pants softly.
I reach up with one hand, leaving the cradle of his palm. He immediately stills. His beautiful hair is a curtain, hiding his face from me. The strands whisper across my cheek, brushing across my lips, my chin, my throat as he keeps his head turned just to my left.
It’s soft. So fucking soft. I’ve been dying to stroke it again, run my fingers through its length like he did to mine when we were inside of the oubliette. My hand twitches, fingertips itching to… to touch him back.
So I do.
Rys leans into my hand, his cheek nuzzling my palm as I thread my fingers through his wavy hair. There’s no resistance. It’s thick, but it’s smooth. Silky. My fingers glide right through the strands before I brush up against his pointed ear.
He groans. I can’t tell if it’s a good groan or a bad one.
Just in case, I yank my hand back. “Sorry.”
Rys is quick. He takes his hand from my elbow, lashing out to wrap my fingers in his warm hold. I gasp at the rush of pleasure that floods through me at the firm touch. He slowly guides my hand back through his hair, placing my fingers along the points of his ear.
“They’re sensitive, but I want you to touch them. I’ve never let a female caress my ears before. I like it when you do it. Do it again, Leannán.”
It’s a command, but one I’m more than happy to listen to.
With a feather-light caress, I stroke the tips of his ear on purpose this time.
He shudders and I feel so fucking powerful. I want to get more reactions out of him. I want him to lose total control, too, and I want to be the reason behind it. I want to strip him naked and touch every part of him while he does the same thing to me.
I want him.
Still brushing his ear with one hand, I turn slightly. “Can you...”
He leans into my touch, his eyes partially closed in bliss. “What would you like me to do?”
I wiggle my fingers toward the front of the cell. “You know. I’ve seen some of the other guards do it.”
His lips thin. His eyes lose that dopey, lust-filled look. “In the succubus’s wing?”
“Well, yeah.”
“I could. But not from inside the iron.”
That doesn’t make sense. I saw him conjure the fire that kept in the lantern that nearly burnt Dusk to a crisp. “But—”
He knows exactly where my thoughts are at. “The faerie fire I offered you was the most I could conjure. You needed it more than me, and I gave it to you. So long as Siúcra feeds on me, with the iron cage keeping me trapped, I can’t make as much as I used to.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Then I guess you’ll want to stop.” On a sigh, Rys lifts his hand back up to his hair, taking mine and moving it away from him. He settles it against my thigh before leaning back, giving us both some space.
Hang on. Did I say that? “I just thought I’d ask for the cover, but it doesn’t bother me either way. Unless… unless you’re afraid someone will see us.”
His breathing is a little heavier than it was before. Almost as if he can’t help it, he shifts, leaning toward me again. “No chance of that. I know the patrols. When I worked for the queen, I helped devise the rotation. With the culling, there aren’t enough prisoners to spend too long in our wing. Other prisoners require closer attention and, as you’re aware, many will visit Posey to earn her favors. We most certainly have some time.”
It sounds like he’s coming around to the idea.
Scratch that. It sounds like he’s totally on board.
Yes.
And then, because Rys really is my gentleman cellmate, he gives me one last chance to change my mind.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Ah, baby. I don’t have to do anything.”
That’s what I’ve been trying to get across all along. Once I figured out that I can hang onto my free will so long as I don’t give up my true name, all of my decisions are mine. I own them. And if they’re mistakes?
I own those, too.
Rys looks me right in the eyes. I don’t know what he sees but, in the next breath, he tucks his chin in, angling his head so that he can brush his lips against min
e. When I open my mouth to let him in, he takes full advantage to do so. Within seconds, I’m wrapped up in his arms, his hands roaming over my back as he kisses me more deeply than I’ve been kissed in a long, long time.
I knew from the first touch that I was a goner. But when Rys closes his mouth on mine, kissing me, stroking me… this is happening. I couldn’t stop it if I tried—or even if a guard came strolling by.
I’ve only ever been with one man before. My Jimmy. We were high school sweethearts who started dating when we were barely sixteen. Being like any hot-blooded teen, he was ready to go at the drop of the hat but we waited until we were together for a year before we lost our virginity to each other.
Our first time was outside. Not in the open open, but Jim and I had sex in my favorite park, spread out on a blanket next to our secret waterfall. It was late and it was dark and the moonlight bathed our skin—but someone could have stumbled on us at any time.
Just like now.
I guess I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. The threat of being caught has always ramped up the need and the desire for me. Jim went along with it, even though he wasn’t as into it as I was, and eventually we kept out sex life confined to our bedroom. The spark was gone, and it didn’t matter.
I haven’t gotten laid in so long. This might not have been my plan when I insisted he touch me—I really did have good intentions of going to sleep—but now that it’s happening, I can’t wait to be with Rys.
The open bars—the risk that one of the guards might change up their patrol—only makes it harder for me to dial it back. I could. I’m totally the instigator here, and despite being so much bigger than me, Rys is following my lead. He’s taking his cues from me. If I jump off his lap, leaving him with the monster hard-on I feel under my ass, he’ll let me go without a word. I’m sure of it.
But that’s the thing. Reckless or not, I don’t want to jump off his lap. I want him to burrow so deeply inside of me that I don’t know where I end or he begins.
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