“Once they get their hooks into you, you’re a dead pigeon.” - Bud Abbott
Following their breakup, Abbott and Costello went their own way, pursuing roles that they had not been able to play in the past because of typecasting or the need to stay together. In 1958, Costello appeared in a rare dramatic role on the popular television series Wagon Train, and in the course of speaking to a magazine about his role as a falsely-accused man, he said, “It’s easy on me. No falls, no pushing around, no seltzer in the face. But I had a real rough time with the guy inside me at first. This guy inside, he kept saying, ‘What a perfect spot for a tumble, kiddo. Go ahead.’ And then, ‘Eight to one you forget the next line.’” Although he was able to overcome much of his nervousness, there was still a scene that proved to be a problem: “I blew a beaut on Wagon Train. Ward Bond had this long speech, which kept givin’ him trouble, and then he’d turn to me and say ‘Tobias?’ And all I had to do was look at him and say, ‘I didn’t do it.’ Well, we had to go through it I don’t know how many times because Ward kept blowing it, but I was letter perfect. Finally he got it right and I said my line and all of a sudden the whole set broke up. Everybody was holding their sides laughing. I hadn’t realized it, but when Ward said ‘Tobias?’ on that last take, I looked at him like I’d done a hundred times before, only this time I said ‘I did it.’”
Abbott and Costello on This Is Your Life in 1956.
In 1956, Abbott and Costello both got word that they were being audited by the Internal Revenue Service, which proved to be disastrous for both men. Many of their colleagues through the years had gone so far as to move out of the country to avoid paying the high income tax required by the American government of its wealthiest citizens, but neither Abbott nor Costello had thought to do this, instead trusting that their accountants had their affairs in order. When this proved not to be the case, the men were forced to sell their homes, their cars, and even the shares they owned in their films. As Abbott put it, “That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.”
Initially, Costello fared better than Abbott for a few reasons. First, he had a separate source of income thanks to the fact he owned a patent for the first ice cube maker. He had invented it years before, and by this time it was a popular feature on new freezers. Furthermore, he had many legitimate tax deductions based on his personal contributions to his foundation. However, Costello’s attempts to get out of debt by continuing to work in the entertainment industry went for naught when he died of a heart attack on March 3, 1959. The 52 year old Costello had just completed work on his last movie, The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock (1959), the only film he ever made without Abbott.
In the wake of his partner’s death, Abbott struggled mightily to deal with the IRS. In 1960, he told his side of the story to a magazine, pointing out that even though he made a lot of money over the previous 20 years, “the Government was taking most of it away too, because we were in the ninety to ninety-five per cent tax bracket. But we had to live up to our status in life.” When the audit finally came, Abbott noted, “They disallowed this and disallowed that, and now I can’t even get my head above water! …I always had a chauffeur, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can’t drive. I paid him one hundred dollars a week. They disallowed his salary on expenses for the whole seven-year period. They paid no attention when I tried to explain that I can’t drive and my wife can’t drive and the only way we can get out of this place is if a friend comes by and takes us. And there don’t seem to be many of them anymore.” Of course, it did not help Abbott’s case that he had been seen driving in one of his movies.
The most embarrassing part of the ordeal came as a result of a rumor that Abbott was asking each of his fans to send him 50 cents to help pay off the IRS. Again, he tried to clear up that misunderstanding: “That story wasn’t true. It wasn’t presented right. The reporter who wrote it called and asked me a hypothetical question: ‘If all my fans gave me fifty cents each, wouldn’t I get out of debt?’ I said, “I guessed so.’ Then the story came out that I was asking for a half a buck from everyone. I don’t want to beg. I never asked. ‘Brother can you spare fifty cents?’ Even so, half dollars came in from all over the U.S. and Canada. Many of them came with nice letters. But the whole thing didn’t total up to more than a few hundred bucks.”
Following his run-in with the government, Abbott tried to resurrect his career, which even included taking on Candy Candido as a new partner. In the end, however, he had to admit, “No one could ever live up to Lou." Abbott also tried taking on a dramatic role in General Electric Theater in 1961 and came out of retirement a few years later to voice his own character in the popular short Abbott and Costello cartoons, produced by Hanna-Barbera. Of course, no matter what he did, nothing could bring back the kind of success he had shared with Costello.
Candy Candido
In later years, Abbott’s health continued to decline as his drinking continued to increase. Confined to home increasingly more often, he once playfully complained, “It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?” He also admitted, “Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.”
As it turned out, he didn’t have much time left. After suffering from epilepsy and various other maladies, Abbott died of cancer on April 24, 1974 at the age of 78. Costello had once pointed out that a good straight man “is hard to find”, and as Groucho Marx once put it, Abbott was "the greatest straight man ever."
A statue of Costello in his hometown of Paterson, NJ.
A Transcript of “Who’s On First?”
Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you
pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Who's wife?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.
Bibliography
Anobile, Richard J. (ed.), Who's on First?: Verbal and Visual Gems from the Films of Abbott & Costello (1972) Avon Books
Costello, Chris, Lou's on First: The Tragic Life of Hollywood's Greatest Clown Warmly Recounted by His Youngest Child (1982) St. Martin's Press
Cox, Stephen and Lofflin, John, The Abbott & Costello Story: Sixty Years of "Who's on First?" (1997) Cumberland House Publishing (A revised and updated edition of The Official Abbott & Costello Scrapbook)
Cox, Stephen and Lofflin, John, The Official Abbott & Costello Scrapbook (1990) Contemporary Books, Inc.
Furmanek, Bob and Palumbo, Ron, Abbott and Costello in Hollywood (1991) Perigee
Miller, Jeffrey S., The Horror Spoofs of Abbott and Costello: A Critical Assessment of the Comedy Team's Monster Films (2004) McFarland & Co.
Mulholland,
Jim, The Abbott and Costello Book (1975) Popular Library
Nollen, Scott Allen, Abbott and Costello on the Home Front: A Critical Study of the Wartime Films (2009) McFarland & Co.
American Legends- Abbott & Costello Page 4