“I don’t think it makes sense to prolong it,” I said weakly.
Her voice grew louder. “You’re a coward. Don’t think I don’t know what this is really about. You’re starting to feel something for me, so you’re going to run away.”
I laughed angrily. “Starting? I’ve been feeling it for so fucking long it’s not even funny.”
“You have an odd way of showing it.”
“I upset you last night. It isn’t going to be any easier to walk away from here in a few weeks. It seemed like the right time.”
“I was upset. But not at you. The more I thought about what you did in coming here, your intentions, the more I admire you. Sure, I was sad earlier, but now? Seeing you ready to walk out of here? Now I’m devastated.”
I swore under my breath. “It’s not my intention to hurt you. That’s not what leaving early is about—it’s just the opposite. It’s to avoid doing something to hurt you.”
“You’ve kept your cool with me, kept your hands off me all summer with the exception of yesterday. Suddenly you don’t think you can last another three weeks?”
She didn’t get it. “Another three weeks? I can’t last another second.”
She looked stunned. That made two of us.
Heather took a step toward me. “Nothing has ever hurt as badly as the pain of wanting you and not getting to have you, trying to hide my feelings from you. I don’t want to hurt like this anymore. I don’t care about next week or three weeks or next year. All I care about is now. I know damn well what will happen between us if you stay. That’s exactly why I don’t want you to leave.”
Fuck.
So many thoughts swirled through my brain. I took a moment to see her, this beautiful young woman who wanted to experience being with me. And I wanted nothing but to be with her. If I turned away now, would I look back at this moment for the rest of my life with regret? Would it haunt me—the moment I had an opportunity for something I wanted but threw it away? The moment I stopped us both from experiencing what we so badly wanted?
My head battled my heart and body—two against one. I knew with every ounce of my soul that if I moved toward her right now, it would be over. And it wouldn’t be my head that won.
The pain in her eyes was like nothing I’d ever seen, not even when her father had pulled the rug out from under her.
For the first time, I realized I might be hurting her more by denying her. Or maybe that’s just what I wanted to believe. Maybe it’s what I had to believe, because there was no turning back.
My mind went blank as physical need overtook it. I no longer knew wrong from right. I no longer had a sense of time. I just needed her.
“Come here.”
“Are you gonna send me away?”
“No. Not gonna do that.”
She walked to me and fell into my arms. I held her tightly. For the first time, I let myself breathe her in, hold her the way I wanted to without resisting.
I was a goner.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
* * *
HEATHER
When he lifted me into his arms and placed his lips on mine, I thought about how many times I’d imagined him doing this very thing. Feeling weightless, I wrapped my legs around his body, holding on to him for dear life.
Don’t leave.
Please don’t leave.
I’d been with one other person in my life, and he’d been a boy in every sense—mentally and physically. Noah was a man, larger than life in both body and mind. Getting to be with him like this incited unprecedented sensations within me. His sheer size rendered me powerless, and I’d never been so happy. I wanted him to own every inch of me.
I hoped I wasn’t embarrassing myself with how eagerly I was kissing him, tasting him—basically humping him. It felt so good to be swept up by this man and kissed with everything he had in him, to feel the warmth of his breath filling me. I felt out of control—like a feral cat.
Moving my hips, I rubbed against the massive bulge in his jeans, his heat resonating between my legs. Knowing I’d made him hard like that gave me immense satisfaction. I needed him to enter me.
“Don’t hate me for my weakness,” he groaned through our kiss.
“I’ll hate you if you stop.”
He smiled over my lips. Thank God we’re on the same page.
“I’ve never wanted anything like I want you, Heather. You make me so fucking crazy.”
I couldn’t even wait for him to undress me. I broke away from our kiss long enough to lift my shirt over my head and throw it on the ground. Staring into his eyes, I unsnapped my bra and let it fall to our feet.
His breathing was labored as he took in the sight of my bare breasts for a few seconds before bearing down on them with his mouth. The wetness of his tongue and the heat of his breath on my nipples practically caused me to orgasm. I could feel my clit throbbing as Noah sucked so hard I wanted to scream. It hurt so good. He used to treat me like a little girl, but he was handling me like a woman tonight; I was grateful for that. I may not have been that experienced, but I knew I could take whatever he had to give. My body was ready. It had been gearing up for this moment from the first time I’d laid eyes on him.
He took my nipple gently between his teeth. “So, so beautiful…”
I pressed his head deeper into me, raking through his hair with my fingernails as he sucked on my neck. I knew there would be marks on me tomorrow, and I didn’t care. Starving to taste him again, I guided him back up to my mouth. I kept expecting him to be bossy, tell me to slow down, scold me for my eagerness. But he never did.
Noah was just as lost in this as I was.
He walked us over toward the wall and propped me against it. He had no idea how many times I’d fantasized about this very thing.
Our kiss grew even more intense, and I wanted him to lift my skirt and fuck me right here. Instead, he suddenly put me down. Worried he’d changed his mind, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me. He resisted.
He could see the fear in my eyes.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not going anywhere, okay? But I need to stop for a second.”
My heart pounded. Why is he stopping?
“I need to lock the door,” he said before cupping his hands around my face and pulling me in for a reassuring kiss. “We can’t take a chance on someone coming in.”
Relief washed over me. I leaned against the wall as he went to the front door and turned the deadbolt. He drew the shades. Then he walked over to his backpack and took something out—a strip of condoms. He threw it on the nightstand and returned to me.
“I want to look at you,” he rasped, sliding his hand down my chest to my stomach.
He pulled at the button of my denim skirt and undid it. He nudged it down until it fell. I kicked off my shoes. Left in nothing but my thong, I watched as he gawked at me with glassy eyes.
“You’re so fucking hot. You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed about this. I’m so hard just looking at you.”
“What do you want to do to me?”
He let out a long breath and caressed my cheek. “Everything you can imagine.”
I needed to touch him, to feel how much he wanted me. I reached out to rub my palm over his cock, which was bursting through his pants. Its heat penetrated his jeans. His breathing became erratic as he closed his eyes and bent his head back to enjoy my touch.
“Fuuuck…stop.” He placed his hand on mine. “Turn around.”
Doing as he said, I placed my hands on the wall.
“Holy shit,” I heard him whisper as he got a look at my ass.
His hand felt rough as he slid it down slowly, caressing my back. I felt his fingers looping though my G-string. He pulled on it and brought me toward him.
Showering the back of my neck with slow, firm kisses, he spoke against my skin, “It’s almost too much.”
I felt the air between us for a moment. When I looked over my shoulder, he was taking off his shirt. I leaned back against his ba
re, muscular chest, his erection right up against the crack of my ass. Wetness seeped through the material of my thong as I squeezed the muscles between my legs to curb the intense need building there.
He wrapped his arms around me, my entire body enveloped in his. The skin-to-skin contact felt so good. His heart beat against my back, and I wanted to weep for all the nights we’d wasted not doing this very thing.
He flipped me around and gazed at my body. Placing his hands on my waist, he lowered my thong. Completely naked before him, I felt goosebumps cover my body.
He knelt down and took my pussy into his mouth, lapping at my clit with his tongue before inserting it all the way inside of me. He kept at it for a few minutes as I bent my head back. The pleasure felt like shockwaves of electricity pulsing through my core.
“You taste so good.” He spoke over my skin. “I can’t decide how I want to take you first.”
“Just take me,” I breathed, desperate to feel him inside of me.
Noah stood and brought me to his chest. “I feel like the luckiest man alive right now. I don’t deserve you.” He swept me off my feet as he carried me over to the bed and laid me down.
I watched as he pulled his boxer briefs down. When his cock sprang forward, I marveled at how long and thick he was. In my experience from watching the occasional porn, you typically got one or the other. But Noah’s cock was perfect. The tip was wet, and I had the urge to lick the precum off of it.
He lowered himself over me and began to rub his slick shaft across my taut stomach, sliding it up and down, over my belly button as he looked into my eyes. It was so erotic. Feeling his hot arousal on my skin turned me on to no end.
I couldn’t take it anymore, though. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the strip of condoms, breaking one off and handing it to him.
“You trying to tell me something?” he teased.
“I want you so bad,” I breathed.
“Easy, beautiful girl. You’re gonna get me. I’m trying to take it slow, so I don’t come all over you right now.”
“I’m sorry if I’m too eager.”
“Don’t apologize for that. I’ve never been wanted by anyone so beautiful, so precious, in my entire life. I love how you want me. It makes me insane.”
“You make me insane, Noah.”
He ripped the condom package open with his teeth.
My heart raced with anticipation.
“Spread for me wide,” he said as he rolled the rubber onto his engorged shaft.
He lowered himself over me. The weight of his body was overwhelming. I stretched my legs apart to make room for him. As he kissed me, I could feel his cock teasing my entrance. My legs quivered.
“I can feel how wet you are, and I’m not even inside of you yet. Holy shit.”
Without warning, he pushed inside in one thrust. It burned in the best way. I hadn’t had sex in over two years, so it was more painful than I’d expected. But after a few times of him moving in and out, the pain turned to pure ecstasy.
Holy shit. Noah is inside of me.
What started out as gentle soon transformed into raw fucking.
My fingernails dug into his back as he pounded into me rhythmically. With every movement in and out, I felt like I could orgasm if I let myself.
“Heather…you…oh my…fuck…you feel so good. So good, baby.”
The headboard banged against the wall, and I was pretty sure the guinea pigs were having heart attacks. With every creak of the bed, I felt more grateful that the boathouse was set so far back from the main house.
Talk about being properly fucked.
I held on to his muscular ass and bucked my hips to meet his thrusts, desperate to stop myself from coming, because I didn’t want this to be over.
“Look at me, Heather.”
The intensity in his eyes was all it took for me to lose it. When my legs started to shake, he knew I was climaxing. I shrieked louder than I’d intended when my orgasm pummeled through me.
His body trembled seconds after, and his mouth fell agape as he came hard, pounding even deeper into me as he emptied his load into the condom.
He kept moving inside of me long after there was nothing left.
“So fucking good.” Noah collapsed onto me. “I’ll never be the same again.”
He’d taken the words out of my mouth. He was still inside of me, and already I had no idea how any other man could measure up. I didn’t want to find out.
CHAPTER TWENTY
* * *
NOAH
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d woken up feeling so completely at peace, yet in turmoil at the same time. In the present moment, I was more content than I’d probably ever been. But as soon as my mind wandered into the future, dread crept in to ruin it.
Heather was still sleeping. Her beautiful bare ass faced me, and her gorgeous blond hair was a mess of spun gold falling down her back.
I had no idea how I’d gotten so lucky. She’d surrendered her body to me last night—several times. I should have been exhausted from the amount of sex we’d had. It was, bar none, the most incredible night of my life. On a physical level, we fit together perfectly. But even with her eagerness, even as I felt her orgasm pulsate against my cock—multiple times as I fucked every hole in her body—I still didn’t feel I deserved her.
The guilt would set in as soon as this high was over. For now, I was still blinded by euphoria. I was living the moment I’d always feared: knowing what it was like to have her and still feeling as though I needed to let her go.
That wasn’t going to be happening today, though. I knew that for sure. I needed her again and again—and wondered if she’d be up for another round.
Kissing the back of her neck, I hoped she’d wake up.
Her body stirred, and she pushed against my cock.
“Good morning,” she said as she teased me with her ass.
The urge to slip inside her raw was intense. I grabbed the last condom from my nightstand and sheathed myself before I could give in and do something reckless.
I sank into her slowly until I was balls deep. Being inside of her already felt like home to me. She was so wet despite the fact that she’d just woken up.
Seeing her ass from this angle as I fucked her totally did me in. After only a minute of pumping into her hard and deep, I lost control and came. You’d think I would have built up some resistance over the past twelve hours. Instead, this was the first time in my life I’d ever prematurely blown my load.
“Shit. I’m sorry. This angle…it was too much for me.”
“Don’t pull out yet,” she said.
She started to play with her clit, and my dick actually began to gear up for another round. Within seconds, she was bucking her hips and coming against her hand with me still inside of her.
If that wasn’t the hottest thing I’d ever witnessed…
I pulled out of her slowly and got up to discard the condom.
Heather gawked at my naked body as I returned to the bed.
My eyebrows lifted. “Keep looking at me like that, and I’m gonna have to find another condom.”
I lay facing her and planted a kiss on her beautiful lips.
After a few minutes, the plethora of worrisome thoughts returned. She noticed my change in expression.
“Do you regret what we’ve done?”
“Not one bit.”
“I can see worry on your face.”
“It has nothing to do with regret. I wouldn’t change last night or this morning for the world.”
“But you are worried.”
I caressed her face, not wanting to ruin this time together. “We don’t need to talk about this now.”
Heather moved back a little bit, and suddenly it felt cold in the bed. “Just last night, you were about to walk out of my life. I feel like talking about this now. I want to know what you’re thinking.”
She was right. Things had gone from one extreme to the other. Even though I wanted
to stay in this sexual fog, that wasn’t fair. She deserved honesty, even if I didn’t have all the answers.
“There’s so much going on in my head right now that I’m not even sure how to express it.”
“Try.”
I pulled her in closer to me. “I’m confused,” I finally said.
“About your feelings toward me?”
“My feelings toward you are the only thing I’m sure of. You make me happier than anyone or anything has in a very long time. And last night was the best sex of my life.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a but in there somewhere…”
Tightening my squeeze on her waist, I said, “I’m scared shitless to hold you back, Heather. You already know that. You’re getting attached to me. Instead, you should be focusing on going away to school and starting your life. I’m afraid to interfere and derail everything.”
“Why does it have to be a choice? Why can’t I have both?”
That was a fair question—without a simple answer.
“You can. But whether you’ll still want that in six months or a year is very dependent on what you find when you get there, how you feel when you’re on your own for the first time. I’m not sure you can know how you’re gonna feel right now.”
“I beg to differ… But let me ask you a question. What would you want if my schooling wasn’t in the way?”
I didn’t have to think about that. “I’d want to be around you every day.”
“You wouldn’t consider a long-distance relationship?”
“With you? I’d consider anything. I’d have to know you were fully ready for that, though. And I don’t know if you can determine that now. This is a very emotional time in your life. You’ve relied on me a lot to get through it, and I’m so happy I could be here for you. But you might feel differently when you move away, when there’s distance between us. Summer will turn to winter. You might not want to be tied down in a relationship with a thirty-five-year-old divorcé. You might want your freedom.”
When August Ends Page 16