Heather had been giving her aunt first choice on a place. I think she was just so grateful Katy had agreed to look after her mother. She wanted Katy to be as happy and comfortable as possible here. It was a pretty damn good deal for Katy, since she wouldn’t even be paying rent, although I supposed having to keep an eye on Alice would make up for that.
While Katy and Debbie ventured out to the backyard, Heather and I found ourselves heading to the other side of the house. We ended up in the master bedroom, which was pretty small.
“How are you holding up?” I asked.
“I’m tired.”
I wanted so badly to hold her.
“I know. But at least it’s been a productive weekend.”
“Yeah. I just want her to pick from these choices so we can be done with it. The sooner we can start moving stuff in, the better.”
I’d hoped my feelings for Heather would wane since our vow of celibacy. We’d been careful not to put ourselves in a position where we could end up losing control. But all the time we’d spent working this past week was only a reminder of how good we were together, how happy I was by her side. Nothing was getting any easier. Not to mention, holding myself back from touching her was slowly killing me.
She went to look out the window. The sunlight shone on her hair, bringing out the platinum highlights. I wished I had my camera to capture it.
I knew she was still mixed up about a lot of things, including where we stood. I gave in and placed my hands on her shoulders, resting my chin on the back of her head. I immediately felt her breathing change.
“Don’t let go,” she whispered.
Squeezing her shoulders, I kissed her head and spoke into her hair. “This is not easy.”
She turned around to face me, and I almost leaned in to kiss her.
Our moment was interrupted when we heard Katy and Debbie’s footsteps. We pushed back from each other, my heart going a mile a minute.
“I see you’ve found the master,” Debbie said as she entered the room.
“Yeah. It’s really cute,” Heather answered, although I could tell her mind was elsewhere.
Katy looked between us suspiciously.
“I think this one has a lot of potential. It’s my favorite by far,” Katy said.
Debbie’s face lit up. “Enough of a favorite to make an offer?”
“Well, that’s up to my beautiful niece, but yes, I think this may be the one.”
Heather looked around the room. “I think we should do it.”
Debbie clapped her hands together. “Fantastic! Let’s go pick up your mother and head back to my office to draw something up.”
***
Later that evening, we returned to Heather’s house to await the seller’s decision on the offer, which was three thousand under the asking price. Heather was prepared to go up if they turned it down, though.
Katy and Alice left us alone downstairs.
Heather’s eyes widened when she finally spotted the empty shelf in her living room. “Where are my Hummels?”
This morning, when she was out running some errands with her aunt, I’d come to the house to do some packing. She hadn’t been back here since.
“You mentioned that the idea of moving the Hummels was stressing you out. So I snuck in here earlier and wrapped them—each one has tons of bubble wrap. They’re safely in that box in the corner.”
She walked over and knelt down to inspect them. “That was incredibly thoughtful of you.”
“I figured it was one less thing you’d have to worry about.”
“It really is. That project was daunting.” Heather stood up and came over to me, her eyes filled with emotion. “I wouldn’t have gotten through any of this without you.”
I reached out to touch her cheek. “Happy to help.”
She briefly closed her eyes. “Will you stay and have dinner? Maybe we can watch a movie? I just want to unwind tonight, eat some bad food and have a drink.”
We both knew it was dangerous to be completely alone, so I’d been spending more time here; Alice’s presence ensured we wouldn’t slip.
“Yeah, that sounds good. I’m getting pretty hungry. You want to make something together or order out?”
“I bought stuff to make enchiladas the other day. I have a rotisserie chicken we can use for the meat.”
My stomach growled. I’d been ravenous lately, eating more to compensate for my other hunger, which wasn’t being satisfied.
“That sounds good,” I said. “Let’s do it.”
I placed my cellphone and keys on the kitchen counter. “Be right back. I need to take a leak.”
I returned from the bathroom to a noticeable change in energy.
When I looked over at Heather’s face, all the color had drained from it.
“Are you okay?”
She didn’t answer me. Instead, looking like she was about to hyperventilate, she leaned against the counter.
She handed me my phone. “You got a text.”
I looked down. It wasn’t just any text, but a photo of a woman’s bare breasts, along with a message.
It was from Lindsey, the woman I’d been with before leaving Pennsylvania. This was the first time she’d contacted me since.
Oh fuck.
Lindsey: I miss you. Thought I’d send you this reminder. Wouldn’t want you to forget me. Hope you’re enjoying your vacation. I would love to see you when you get back.
My heart sank and words vomited out of my mouth. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She’s not anyone important. This is—”
“She seems to think she’s important enough that you’d be interested in a photo of her tits.”
How could I explain this? It didn’t look good no matter how you cut it.
I took a breath in. “Okay, remember when I told you there was someone last May, who I thought I had an understanding with?”
She folded her arms. “Yeah.”
“This is her. I haven’t spoken to her since I left. I don’t know what possessed her to send this photo to me tonight, but I sure as hell have no interest in it.”
“I take it you didn’t exactly end things?”
“There was nothing to end.”
Heather’s face had gone from white to red. “That’s right. She’s just your fuck toy. She’s clearly expecting to take up where you guys left off when you get back.”
God, this sucked. The future of our relationship may not have been clear, but as long as I was here, I needed to respect Heather. This was nothing but disrespectful, and the worst possible timing. She was already under an enormous amount of stress. We were both exhausted. But there was no good time for her to see something like that.
Suddenly, she covered her face. At first I thought she was crying, but then she shook her head and did a total one-eighty. “God, what’s wrong with me? I’m sorry. I can’t blame you for this. Hell, I’m not even sure I have any right to be mad.”
I looked at her a moment, trying to keep up. “You have every right to be mad. I would’ve lost my shit if the roles were reversed.” I swiped my finger along the text and deleted it. “It’s gone—where it belongs.”
“I’m sorry for overreacting.”
I took a breath in. “The guy she thinks she sent this text to? He doesn’t exist anymore. That man was empty. I’ll never be the same after this summer. I’m grateful for that.”
Before she had a chance to respond, her phone rang.
I watched as she picked it up and spoke to someone I assumed was Debbie, the realtor.
“They did?” She looked at me and smiled.
She got the house. I gave her a thumbs up.
“That sounds great. Okay…thank you for letting me know.”
She hung up and beamed. “They took the offer.”
“Fuck, yeah!”
When she hugged me, I lifted her and spun her around.
“I heard the phone ring.”
Katy’s voice startled us, and I put Heather down.
“Was that the realtor?” she asked.
Heather ran to her aunt and embraced her. “Yes! We’ve got a house.”
“Such great news!” Katy beamed.
“Wanna join us for a celebratory dinner?” Heather asked.
Katy looked over at me. “I don’t want to intrude. You two should be alone.”
Heather insisted, “It’s no intrusion.”
“I’m not too hungry,” Katy said. “You two go ahead, and if there are leftovers later, I’ll partake if I get my appetite back.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll go tell Alice the good news,” she said before disappearing upstairs.
That news shifted the mood to a better place. Heather and I spent the next hour making the enchiladas. Things lightened even more once we opened a bottle of wine. We enjoyed each other’s company, and the drama over the text I received faded considerably.
After dinner, we retreated to the living room to watch a Melissa McCarthy movie. Teddy curled up on one side of me, and Heather was on the other. This was so much better than going back to the boathouse alone.
She lay down and put her feet on my lap. I took them into my hands and massaged them.
“Look how little my feet are in your big hands. This feels so good after standing up all day.”
“You do have tiny feet.”
I wanted to kiss them but refrained.
“Have I ever told you that you have huge feet?” She winked.
“You might have mentioned that once or twice, yeah.”
She chuckled.
Her attention turned to the movie, but I remained preoccupied, thinking about what had happened earlier tonight. I wondered if she was really as understanding about the text from Lindsey as she claimed to be. Heather was strong and had the ability to catch herself when she got upset before things got out of hand. It was like she’d trained herself to brush things off. She never held grudges or let an argument go on for too long. I considered it a positive trait most of the time, but I wondered if that was good for her in the long run. Maybe she needed to let it all out sometimes, get angry before she had a breakdown.
I stared down at her feet and pressed on each of her toes. “You know, it’s okay to be mad at me.”
She sat up a little. “You want me to be mad?”
“No, of course not. But if you ever feel like you need to let it all out, it’s okay. For example, that text earlier—it clearly upset you. You were angry, but just when you were about to lose it on me, you stopped. It was like you told yourself you shouldn’t be mad, so you suppressed it. I just wonder if you deny your feelings sometimes as a protective mechanism.”
She pondered my theory. “Maybe I do that without realizing it because I don’t want conflict.”
“It’s okay to let out your frustration. I can handle it. If you’re mad about something, I want you to know you can take it out on me.”
Only after I spoke did I realize what that sounded like.
She lifted her brow. “You want me to take it out on you…in what way exactly?”
I should have known she wasn’t going to let that one slide. And that was most definitely what I wanted. I squeezed her feet even harder.
***
When Katy joined us in the living room a little while later, I went back to the boathouse to give her and Heather some alone time. I knew they had a lot to discuss about the new living arrangements and the logistics of Katy’s move from Boston to New Hampshire.
Just before midnight, I was just about to turn in when there was a knock on my door.
When I opened it, Heather stood there in a thin, white nightgown. I could pretty much see right through it. She scooted past me into the house, leaving a wave of her delicious scent.
“I wasn’t expecting a visit from you this late.”
She started to pace. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. I wanted to let you know that I am really mad.”
The floodgates were about to burst open, and that was fine. This needed to happen.
“Talk to me, Heather.”
She unleashed everything. “I’m mad at my father for making me sweat over that damn money. I still don’t know if he’s serious or not. But more than that, I’m so angry that I spent half my life trying to convince myself he loved me as much as his other kids. Deep down I never believed it was true. And that hurts.”
When she started to cry, I took her in my arms. “Tell me more. Let it all out, baby.”
She stayed like that for a while. After I let her go, she continued to pace.
“I’m mad that no matter what I try, I can’t make my mother happy. It has to come from within herself and the right dose of medication.” She wiped her tears. “I’m angry that my sister is dead, and I never had the opportunity to have a normal relationship with her. But I’m not angry that she brought you into my life. And while I’m not mad at you for the reason you came here, I have been keeping some of my feelings inside about it. It hurts to think about what Opal did and the fact that you knew her at all. The truth is, I do block out thoughts about my sister as a habit. They’re just too painful.”
I nodded. “Keep going.”
Heather spoke through gritted teeth, her voice growing louder. “I’m mad about that text you got from Lindsey—not at you, though. I’m mad because it made me worry that I won’t be there when you need a warm body. I’m extremely jealous. While we’re on the topic, I’m jealous of your ex-wife, too—that you still talk to her and confide in her when I want you to confide in me.” Her tone softened. “I’m mad about a lot of things, but most of all I’m sad, so fucking sad, Noah. Because I don’t want to lose you.”
Her last statement was like a punch to the gut. I could relate to that fear.
Placing my hands on her shoulders, I looked into her eyes. “No matter what happens in our lives, no matter where I am, if you ever need me, I will always be here for you. I can promise you that.”
Her eyes glistened. She’d heard me. I wanted to hold her again, but I was afraid to lose control. I wanted to rip that nightgown right off of her.
Heather wiped her eyes. “Thank you for listening, and thank you for encouraging me to let it out.”
“You’re welcome. I—”
Before I could even finish my sentence, she ran to the door and disappeared into the night.
I didn’t stop her, because then what? I did, however, stand on the porch to ensure she got home.
Five minutes later, while I was lying in bed, a text came in.
My heart raced as I realized what it was. A photo of the most beautiful set of tits lit up the screen—breasts I wished more than anything I could taste just one more time.
Heather: I figured I owed you one after all that.
My head sank into the pillow as I typed.
Noah: You’ve just made things ten times harder.
Heather: I hope so. ;-) You’ve been too good. Plus, I’m not there, so I can be bold without getting into trouble, right?
Noah: Did you see how much I ate tonight? I’ve been eating like crazy to make up for the fact that I can’t touch you. Don’t think I’m not dreaming about your body 24-7. And dreaming about that thing you do.
Heather: That’s a good song.
Noah: What?
Heather: That Thing You Do, one-hit wonder from the 90s.
Noah: Ah. Figures you’d know that. I bet it’s on your iPhone.
Heather: No comment.
I laughed. Pretty sure I woke the guinea pigs up.
Noah: LOL
Heather: What actual thing do I do, though?
Noah: I don’t want to even think about it right now. It’ll put me over the edge.
Heather: Come on. I need to know.
This conversation was veering into territory I’d been trying to stay away from. But she wasn’t physically here, so how much trouble could I get myself into?
Noah: I thought it was a one-time deal, but by the third time you did it, I knew it was a thing.
Heather: What is it?
Just thinking about it made me harder.
Noah: When you know I’m about to come, you squeeze your pussy around my cock. It feels fucking amazing. Drives me crazy.
Heather: Well, I can assure you the song isn’t about that.
Noah: Probably not.
Heather: And I know I do that thing. It’s on purpose.
Noah: So, you WERE trying to kill me.
Heather: Yup. Death by pussy spasm.
Noah: Not a bad way to die.
Heather: LOL. I’ll let you go to sleep.
Noah: You think I can fall asleep after this talk and that photo you sent?
Heather: Well, if you do…dream of me.
Noah: You can bet on that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
* * *
HEATHER
ONE MONTH LATER
August ended—and Noah was still here. He’d agreed to stay an extra two weeks to help get us settled. I greatly appreciated that.
It was now the middle of September. We’d made it completely out of our house just in time for the new owners to move in. Noah had rented a huge truck and took our remaining stuff to a storage facility.
Crisp fall air had replaced the summer heat in New Hampshire. We were living in our new house surrounded by stacks of boxes. It would take several more weeks to get fully organized.
Since the new place had only two bedrooms, Noah had spent the past few nights sleeping on the couch while I slept in bed with my mother.
Between Teddy, our boxes, and the guinea pigs, it was mass chaos. However, today I was too preoccupied to care about any of it, because tomorrow was the day I’d been dreading since June.
Noah would be going back to Pennsylvania.
When August Ends Page 18