The Run Around

by Bernadette Franklin

  “That party is optional,” Mr. Carter replied, and his brows furrowed. “Why is it a problem if she doesn’t have a dress? Did you ask her if she wanted to go to the gala?”

  “She needs to go to the gala.”

  Technically, I needed to organize the damned thing, which meant I would only get to hide in my cabin after it looked like the show was on the road and no longer needed me to keep things rolling smoothly. “I will be at the gala among the staff—”

  “I am conspiring with Elizabeth. You’ll be attending the gala,” Juliette announced. “I absolutely need to design you a formal gown. If I don’t, I will die. Dramatically. They will be discussing my death in social circles for years.”

  Mr. Carter raised a hand and rubbed his temple. “I think your medications need to be adjusted again.”

  “My medications are fine. I just stole a few cookies and washed them down with a coke.”

  “You rampaged on sugar? Juliette!”

  “I needed it. My client had to cancel, and I’m sad because of why. I needed that sugar.”

  “I’m so sorry, Hope. She’s supposed to limit her sugar intake, or she becomes rather uncontrollable.” Mr. Carter sighed. “You can’t force her to go to the gala, Juliette.”

  “Like hell I can’t. I have cards. I’ll play them. Watch me.”

  “Okay. Let me rephrase this. Why is it necessary she goes to the gala?”

  “Presents. It’s listed as optional, but the bride has presents for everyone, and she will be upset if she can’t give Hope her present at the gala.”

  Crap. As upsetting the bride went against the rules, I would be attending the gala. “It would have been nice if the bride had told me this so I knew to not bother making the gala optional. I do have to arrange for catering for it. And while the caterers are in charge of that, with limited exception, I do need to tell them if the numbers are changing. It’s not like they can just go to the store while we’re floating in the middle of the ocean.”

  “It’ll be fine. When you give catering the final numbers, just tell them they have to feed everyone on board. They’ll take care of it with the help of the cruise ship. Fredrick, tell her it isn’t a big deal!”

  “It’s probably not a big deal, especially if you tell them they have to feed everyone,” Rick said, and I caught him grinning before he smothered it for a more neutral expression. “There’s not even going to be assigned seating for it. Elizabeth has told me what she wants for the gala. It’s chaos. She wants chaos.”

  “But how will she distribute the presents if she doesn’t have assigned seating?” Presents added a whole new level of complexity, and I’d be driving myself insane if I had to help make arrangements for the gifts. “This is a disaster. Again. Another disaster.”

  “It’s not a disaster. Elizabeth has handled all those preparations. She ordered the presents herself, she delegated to trustworthy members of the family to take care of the wrapping, and we just need to load them onto the ship. They’re in safe keeping, so that’s not going to be an issue. I’ve already hired a moving company to get them to the pier and loaded onto the ship on the wedding date.”

  Well, that was something. “It’s still a disaster.”

  Rick grinned at me. “It’s only a disaster because you didn’t coordinate it.”

  Busted. I nodded. “Obviously.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “Do you know what those are, Rick? Those are famous last words. Don’t use those words when it comes to planning a wedding, because that’s when things start going wrong.”

  “I will do my best to make sufficient backup plans so nothing goes wrong.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I suppose that’s a start. Also, had I known the gala wasn’t actually optional, I would have gotten a dress.”

  “The invitations say optional, but it’s really not. Just tell the caterers how many will be on board, and that’ll simplify your life. I’ll also give you a list of everyone’s favorite foods so the caterers have ideas of what sort of things to serve.”

  Rick’s offer elevated him to the greatest man alive, and I wanted to worship the ground he walked on. “Really?”

  “I’ll even give you a list of the foods Aunt Carolina hates above all others. She’ll see them and recoil—and possibly hiss. It’ll be great entertainment for everyone. I always recommend we have one of her most hated foods at every family gathering. Usually, I get away with it. As she’s been particularly rude to you, I’ll have you put her top three out. Elizabeth loves those foods, too.”

  “It seems reasonable that the bride’s favorite foods should be present in a buffet setting.”

  “That’s what I thought. Edward likes some of her other disliked dishes, too.”

  “It is also reasonable that the groom’s favorite foods should be present in a buffet setting.” I giggled. “Who knew indulging in pure evil could be so much fun?”

  “We’re just beginning,” Juliette promised.

  Every waking minute of the weekend went to clothes, and my head spun over Juliette’s cheerful ambition. The bribe of fast food to take her medications worked like a charm, and after loading my car with more clothes and boots than I needed, plus loading Rick’s car with even more clothes and boots than I needed, she evicted us so she could get her hard-earned dinner. I barely had room to fit. Even my poor dog and cat had to share the back seat with boxes, and I’d spend most of the night ferrying stuff to my apartment. To make matters worse, Rick went home with me as he had half of my stuff, and he took over the delivery spot by the doors while he waited for me to park. I wouldn’t remind him I’d lost the bet, not that we’d had much of a chance to pursue clues.

  To my dismay, Rick recruited help from the lobby desk in the time it had taken me to get my car in its spot. My landlord grinned and waved. “If you’ll give me the key to your car, I’ll bring it around and have it unloaded before returning it to your spot.”

  Oh, well. It would save me a lot of trips. “Thanks, Jacob.” I unclipped the fob and tossed it to him. “I’m so sorry about the fuss.”

  “Nonsense. You hardly ever ask for a thing, and having taken a look in the gentleman’s car, you have a lot to take upstairs. Your closets won’t feel lonely after tonight.”

  My closets did have a tendency to stay mostly empty, as I didn’t buy more than I needed. I wouldn’t need to buy clothes again at the rate Juliette kept using me as an excuse to empty her closet. “That’s one way to put it.”

  As I refused to be a layabout, I scurried to Rick’s vehicle and grabbed one of the boxes while juggling my pets’ leashes. “I really wasn’t expecting her to try to give me her entire closet.”

  “I’m pretty sure Juliette’s middle name is Excessive.”

  “Juliette Excessive Carter sounds weird but accurate.” I giggled, shaking my head at the insanity. “The lengths she was willing to go to, to make sure she got fast food for dinner tonight, was the truly excessive thing. I thought Mr. Carter was going to faint from shock when he realized he could control his wife through her desire for greasy food.”

  “I expect that is going to become a tactic of his, making sure she takes her medications on time. She’s been a handful because she keeps churning through assistants. According to Mr. Carter, every time she gets one, she finds ‘a better place’ for them in the company. She’s missed a lot of her doses lately.”

  “That’s not good.”

  “That’s what I said. Mr. Carter is looking for a new assistant for her. I expect he’s going to pick someone who has zero interest in the fashion world beyond wearing clothes because clothes are necessary. Personally, I think it’s a disaster in the making, as Juliette’s assistant does need some knowledge about clothing design.”

  “That’s going to be interesting.”

  “But effective. I think. I told him I might have an employee who would do a good job, and it would be a good deal for her. She does fit the bill about being completely uninterested in anything to do with fa
shion, but she’s as stubborn as they come, so if she can’t survive Juliette, I’m not sure anyone can. And she really needs a capable assistant. Any CEO needs a capable assistant. We are lost without them. I have three, and they’re all a pain in the ass, but they do good work.”

  “But are they accountants?”

  “Some days, they consider making me pay for an accounting degree for them because so much of my business does involve money.”

  “Some days, I regret becoming an accountant,” I confessed. “Especially days when I’m in a room full of male strippers who are getting a briefing on what it’s like to be an accountant so they can go to accounting school. I’m glad that company is doing right by them, but they keep coming to my firm asking for advice from me, so I keep having to run to their office building despite having finished their auditing job. My boss thinks it’s cute how determined they are to keep their jobs and be good accountants. I tried to warn them, but every time I warned them about the downsides of being an accountant, I somehow encouraged them.”

  “Accounting is tough work, especially when you’re dealing with a tax code capable of breaking tables. Half the time, my accountants want to go hit the liquor bottles because they genuinely believe the latest rules were implemented by drunks.”

  I’ve felt that way a time or two. “If I didn’t get wretched hangovers, I’d probably be one of those accountants. The hangovers do a good job of convincing me to avoid most alcohol.”

  “Hangovers are the worst, and they’re definitely not worth the liquor that creates them. Unfortunately, every damned time I go to a business meeting, I’m expected to drink something, so I nurse a small glass of Scotch to appear sophisticated. It usually works. A few glasses of water before bed helps me dodge the worst of it.”

  I held the elevator until we filled it to capacity before hitting the button for my floor. Somehow, we ended up the only people on the first trip, and it would be entertaining ferrying everything to my door. “In good news, my apartment isn’t a disaster. In bad news, my apartment is about to become a disaster, but you’re welcome to come in and enjoy my fireplace if you’d like. I’m sure Annabel Lee will appreciate the heated floors, which I’ll turn on as soon as we get in.”

  “Heated floors are the best.”

  “They really are, especially when they’re in the bathroom. My bathroom is my favorite place in the whole apartment. I love the tub. I’ll show it to you if you want!”

  “Sure. I’ve always been curious what makes a perfect bathroom.”

  “Well, mine isn’t quite perfect, but it’s as close as I’m getting on my income. I looked at houses in the area, and I can’t afford those. As long as I keep my job, I’m living here for life.”

  Rick chuckled. “I see you like your apartment.”

  “I do. I was worried about the price, but I really do feel like I get my money’s worth. It’s expensive, but it’s worth it to me. My pets are happy, and it’s a really nice space to unwind in.”

  “Hey, as long as it makes you happy, that’s what’s important.”

  Rick helped me ferry my boxes, bags, and loose boots into my living room, and he set the animals free. I turned on the heated floors, which I’d appreciate for a few hours before I went to bed and got ready for yet another grind mixing work and wedding planning.

  By the time the wedding rolled around, I’d be on my last leg, I’d likely catch every virus known to man thanks to a stress-compromised immune system, and I’d regret having dealt with the devil in the form of Rick’s family. Some prices were worth paying, although I hoped by the time the dust settled and I learned more about Rick’s perfect woman, I’d be able to like her. Still, I refused to regret being his friend.

  He proved there were men in the world worth chasing.

  Had he not told me he’d been interested in a woman and wanted forever with her, I would have chased, too. That was something I could live with. No matter what and no matter who, I would be happy for him and give him his best chance at a perfect future.

  After the wedding, I’d go look for my happily ever after, too.

  I deserved one.

  That thought made me smile. All I had to do was survive the wedding from hell to take the next step towards living life on my terms.

  Twenty-One

  The chocolates helped.

  The next time someone asked me to plan a wedding, I would run away, dig a deep hole, bury myself, and refuse to emerge until the risk of becoming a wedding planner went away. While Rick managed to somewhat tame his mother, the rest of his family viewed me as a challenge to overcome. How could someone like me, some American broad with a stubborn streak stronger than theirs, properly plan a wedding fit for nobility?

  The more they attempted to micromanage me, the harder I dug my heels in. The only one happy with the situation was the bride, who viewed my struggles with her family as the ultimate form of entertainment. Her groom kept sending me apology cards, chocolates, and baskets of dog and cat toys as an attempt to make up for his family’s contribution to the chaos.

  The chocolates helped. My pets enjoyed their new toys, and at the rate I was going, I’d need a new apartment to contain their belongings.

  More than once, I considered quitting and leaving the noble assholes to fend for themselves for the seven-day cruise, but quitting meant walking away the loser, and I wasn’t going to let a bunch of overly rich egotistical so-and-sos beat me. I lost the war with Juliette, and she punished me for having dared put myself down in any fashion, foisting an entire set of new clothes onto me for the cruise. From bathing suits to lingerie to dresses to jeans and blouses, she included everything I might need to take the ship by storm.

  I figured I’d get the last laugh, as I’d instructed the cruise ship to put me in the least convenient cabin in the entire ship, somewhere on the lowest deck away from the most popular spots. I’d get a lot of exercise when I emerged, but I had a stockpile of new books to read and a determination to stay out of sight and out of mind most of the time.

  I’d even gotten some tips from the ship’s captain where I might be able to find a nice, quiet spot on deck to enjoy reading if I found my cabin too cramped for my liking.

  Had I been able to get away with it, I would’ve taken a spot in the crew’s quarters to escape the guests, something I’d admitted to Captain Wellans, who’d laughed and admitted being able to escape after shift was one of the perks of being part of the crew.

  At least he’d been quick to side with me, as my refusal to make unnecessary changes simplified matters for everyone.

  I still struggled to believe I’d gotten lucky enough to book the maiden voyage of a modern luxury cruise ship.

  I also struggled to accept how much Elizabeth and Edward spent on their wedding day. Despite having worked with profitable companies, the number stunned me. What was life like with over two million dollars to spend on a wedding, a week-long cruise, clothing for the entire guest list, and gifts? The gifts took a hefty chunk of the budget, and it was one of the reasons I refused to quit on the wedding planning even when tempted on a daily basis.

  Elizabeth cared. Edward cared, too.

  It showed every time she called me, worried about one of the unnecessary changes a relative flung at her. Edward’s involvement kept the concerns to a minimum, and the only changes to slip through were the ones he wasn’t certain about.

  The day before the wedding and ten minutes from a complete mental breakdown, the confirmations came in one by one from the vendors, the caterers, and the cruise liner. One cake had fallen prey to an accident, but one of my uncountable backup plans had saved the day on that one; with Elizabeth’s wishes, I’d ordered extra cakes from other vendors with instructions to make them magically appear at other weddings happening throughout New York City if they weren’t needed.

  There would be at least ten weddings with various surprises showing up, including cakes for the first civil union at the courthouse the bakers could find and more flowers than I cared to t
hink about, although I’d suggested the majority go to hospitals rather than other weddings. I feared we’d wiped out most of the floral shops of plants, as Elizabeth had opted for the majority of the display flowers to be potted rather than bouquets. Every bridesmaid had a bouquet of some sort to match her dress, and the groomsmen had single flowers to be tucked into the jacket of their suits.

  The morning of the wedding, I showed up at the pier shortly before dawn, dragging my suitcase with me. The dress would be on board in the care of Juliette and her twenty chosen minions who would enjoy the cruise when they weren’t busy addressing any wardrobe disasters. Mr. Carter would help me keep cranky nobility in line at Juliette’s suggestion, as it was one thing to tango with a wedding planner and another to get in the face of an attorney who could go from patient to irritable at the drop of a hat.

  I hadn’t yet witnessed Mr. Carter lose his temper, but if he decided to tear verbal chunks out of Aunt Carolina, I’d enjoy the show and place my bets on the attorney.

  As planned, Captain Wellans greeted me at the pier. He saluted me with a tip of his hat and took my luggage from me. “This isn’t the first time the company has allowed a full ship to be used for a wedding, but so far, this has been the best of the lot. So, on behalf of the crew, thank you for keeping this from becoming a circus.”

  “We still have roughly eighteen hours for this to become a circus, but once we get past the exchanging of the vows, I think we’ll survive. After the reception, with limited exceptions, it’s just another cruise, right?”

  “And that’s why this is working so well. We’re doing the job we’re familiar with, and everyone is seasoned at this, as this ship is going to be a star of the cruise line. That we get to have her maiden voyage on a planned event is unusual, but considering how much money the bride and groom are throwing at making this happen, I think we’re all walking away happy.”

  I could only hope we would. “Have all of the service providers checked in?”