Ethan shook his head, frustrated at Phillip’s pigheadedness. “The man can’t trust what’s right in front of him. I also think he’s a little scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Of letting himself love again and giving his heart away. I promise you this, Charlotte, I will do everything in my power to help you and Phillip. But we can’t do anything for now; we must wait until he is back from his assignment.”
Charlotte replied, “You are so kind, Ethan. Thank you for your council and help, but I will not force Phillip to see me. I couldn’t bear the guilt if I believed he was doing something he didn’t want to do.”
“Charlotte, I promise you that Hugh and I will wait for Phillip to broach the subject.”
The rest of the trip passed in pleasant conversation. Ethan spoke lovingly of his parents and his younger sister, Emily. His words made Charlotte miss her family all the more. She would be happy to see them. They must be worried about her.
After a few more days of travel, Charlotte was back at home. She got a thorough scolding from her parents, who, nonetheless, were glad to have their oldest daughter back. Charlotte’s father and brother had some business to conduct, so the family would remain in London for a few more weeks before heading home.
The days passed slowly for Charlotte. She moved through the paces of her day as though in a fog. She attended parties and teas, but they held no joy for her. In conversations, she answered when spoken to and smiled, but there was no spark of interest. Emptiness filled her soul.
At night, when Charlotte lay alone, she thought about Phillip. She wondered if he had returned from his trip and if he ever thought of her. She compared every man to him, but none held a candle to her dark, seductive spy. Was she doomed to live her life in misery?
Chapter 18
“Phillip, please stop moping around. You have been in this pitiful mood since you returned a week ago,” Tabitha, the Duchess of Claremont and Phillip’s sister, scolded him. He had stopped by his sister’s London townhouse to visit with her family in hopes that seeing them would brighten his mood. Tabitha always had a way of lifting his spirits, but, this time, it was useless. He had been in bad spirits since leaving Charlotte. His mind constantly strayed to thoughts of her, even during his last assignment.
Luckily, Phillip had been given time off after his last successful mission, which he thought might be his last. It was time to think about the future and his family. His father wasn’t getting younger, and someday the title would fall to him. He needed to take on more responsibilities. One of those responsibilities would be to marry. Thinking about marriage brought his mind back to Charlotte. He wondered what she was doing and if she was home with her family. Had she found another man? The idea should have made Phillip happy, but it made him jealous. He clutched his fists in anger. No other man should have the right to kiss her and touch her the way he had.
“Phillip, are you alright?” His sister’s voice broke through to him.
He released the tension in his fists and sighed, “I’m sorry, Tabby, my thoughts were elsewhere.”
“Apparently. You’ve been that way for the last hour. What is bothering you? Father asked if you were ill the other day. He says he questioned the servants at your home. They told him you’re not eating or sleeping, and you’re drinking too much.” She came closer to him. “It’s not like you, Phillip. What is wrong?”
Phillip couldn’t tell his sister he was the biggest fool in the world for letting the only woman he loved slip through his hands. Now that Charlotte was out of his reach, he knew he loved her. His feelings for Charlotte were nothing like what he felt for Lisette. With Charlotte, he felt complete for the first time. He wasn’t afraid that she would shy away from his scars or his past. He could be himself, faults and all.
Phillip reassured Tabitha, “It’s nothing; I’ll be fine.” He smiled at his sister, but he knew she didn’t believe him.
“You used to confide in me. Won’t you tell me what it is?”
“It’s not a what, but a who.” At the sound of Ethan’s voice, Phillip and Tabitha turned toward the parlor door. Ethan stood there, with Tabitha’s husband, Andrew, close behind.
Andrew explained, “I was making my way from the library when I heard the butler speaking with Ethan.”
Phillip glared at his friend, “What the blazes are you doing here, and how did you find me?”
“It wasn’t difficult. I merely followed the smell of heartache and despair.” Ethan entered the room and poured himself a drink.
Tabitha looked between the two friends. “Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on? Who are you referring to, Ethan?”
Ethan glanced at Phillip to see if he would explain, but Phillip turned his back to gaze out the window. It was raining, the dark clouds in the sky mirrored his own tormented spirit.
“Well, since Phillip has chosen not to speak, I will enlighten you. It appears Phillip is in love, and he is too stupid or stubborn to go after the girl.” Ethan sipped his drink while he let his words sink in.
“Who is the girl?” Tabitha asked.
“She was the informant Phillip escorted across half of the continent. A lovely young lady named Charlotte Bradley. I accompanied her home to London since your brother was busy running off again with his tail between his legs.”
Phillip scowled at his friend, “You know I had no say in that. I had orders to follow. Don’t you think I wanted to be with Charlotte, to have those few extra precious days with her.” His voice rose in irritation. For Ethan to think he didn’t want to be with Charlotte was preposterous.
Phillip reigned in his temper. Tabitha crossed over to him and embraced him.
“I understand what it’s like, Phillip, to think you don’t deserve the one you love.” She glanced lovingly at her husband. “But you, above most people, you deserve to be happy. Does Charlotte make you happy? Do you love her?”
It was what he had been dreading — having to proclaim what he had locked so deep in his heart. He didn’t know if he could admit his feelings to those dearest to him. He drew back and took Tabitha’s hand, an anchor to help with the swirl of emotions flooding through him. Taking a calm breath, he answered, “I love Charlotte more than life itself. She is the only woman who understands me. She sees all my faults, and she still wants to be with me. But what does it matter, I’ve lost her. Ethan escorted her to her family, but I don’t know where she has gone from there.”
Ethan spoke up, “She is still in London. I have been keeping a friendly correspondence with her. It was the only way to be sure of her whereabouts while you came to your senses. Her family is here for another week.”
Hope flooded Phillip’s heart, and he hugged his friend. But doubts clouded his happiness, “What if Charlotte doesn’t share my sentiments?”
His friend laughed, “Have no worries, my friend. She is in love with you. She admitted it to me on the journey home.”
Phillip sighed, “How do we get in touch with her? Will she come if the message is from me?”
Tabitha took Phillip’s arm and led him to the couch. “We will think of a way to contact Charlotte, so you two can have a private chat.”
Phillip’s heart and mind suddenly felt lighter. He had allies on this last mission to win Charlotte’s heart.
**********
Charlotte sat in the drawing-room, the sewing in her lap had gone untouched for the last hour. Her attention was focused on the window as she watched a pair of birds fly around the garden. They must be in love, she mused. She wanted to be like the birds and fly far away. Perhaps it would ease the heaviness in her heart that refused to leave.
As she turned back to her sewing, a maid brought her a letter. She read the note; it was from Ethan. He was leaving for his family’s estate in the country, and he wanted to say goodbye personally before he left. He had written an address on the letter, and asked if she could meet him at one o’clock today. A small smile cracked her lips. Ethan had been a good friend these last few
weeks. He had written to ask how she faired and if she needed anything. It had been a sweet gesture, but she had declined his help. The least she could do now was thank him one last time.
She ordered the carriage to be ready for the appointed time and told her mother she was going to a friend’s house for the afternoon. It delighted her mother to see her daughter show some signs of life and agreed to let her go. The thought of the upcoming meeting made the time go a little faster for Charlotte. She worked on her sewing, at least for a short bit of time.
Charlotte left for the house shortly before one. It was a short trip to one of the wealthier parts of town. The carriage pulled up to the townhouse, and Charlotte walked up to the door and knocked. The butler answered.
“Good afternoon. I am here to see His Lordship.” The butler opened the door to allow her entrance. He took her gloves and hat and led her down a hallway. The door was open, and she stepped into what looked like a library or study. Her gaze scanned the room until she saw a figure standing near the windows. The man turned around, and Charlotte forgot to breathe. It was Phillip. The sight of him was almost more than she could bear.
Phillip looked as Charlotte remembered him. He had a slight shadow of a beard growing. The buttons on his jacket were undone, allowing him to lean against the mantle. His hair was messed as if he had been combing his fingers through it. Charlotte took a few steps further into the room. Her eyes never left him. Phillip, in turn, walked closer to her. He motioned for her to sit, which she did. Neither said anything for a few moments.
“I suppose you were expecting Ethan. I’m sorry for the ruse, but I wanted to make sure you would come.”
“You did not think I would come if the message were from you?”
Phillip sighed, “I’m sorry for the deception. It was Ethan’s idea. He told me he had been keeping a correspondence with you, so it seemed the most natural way to get you to come to my house. Ethan mentioned you didn’t know where he lived, so it was easy enough to give you my address.”
Charlotte glanced around, interested in the things with which Phillip surrounded himself. There were books of all shapes and sizes in the bookcases. A few lay open on the desk. There was a table in the corner with a map and letters all about. This is where he must do the work for his agency. “This is your home?”
“Yes, it is. Although I haven’t been in it much since I’ve been home this past week.”
Phillip had been in London for a week and hadn’t contacted her. Charlotte felt hurt. Of course, she wasn’t a priority. He had a family and responsibilities. She wasn’t a part of his life anymore.
Phillip saw the expression on Charlotte’s face. He sat down beside her and held her hands. In his eyes, she saw a glimpse of the Phillip she knew and loved.
“Charlotte, I have been a stubborn, cowardly man.”
She laughed, “I can agree with the stubborn part, but cowardly?” She placed a hand on his cheek, and Phillip kissed her palm. “You have never been cowardly, Phillip. You are the bravest man I know.”
“I have been a coward when it comes to you.”
Charlotte’s pulse skipped at beat at his words, and her pulse quickened.
“Ever since Lisette, I have been afraid. Afraid to lose my heart to another. I thought if I allowed myself to feel, to love, it would bring me nothing but pain. I could not bear the idea, so I shut myself away from such emotions. I took assignments that took me away for days and weeks on end, anything to numb myself.”
Charlotte’s eyes teared, and she squeezed his hands in silent acknowledgment. Phillip was confiding his true feelings for her for the first time.
“Then, one day, I walked into an inn and found myself the protector of a young woman. I was not happy, at first. I did not need that in my life. My view on women, I’m sorry to say, wasn’t the best, as you know. Gradually, you chipped away at the wall I had erected around my heart, and now, I can’t think of my life without you.”
The tears which had threatened were now free and flowing down Charlotte’s cheeks. Phillip pushed them away with his knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers.
“I love you, Charlotte. I love your courage, your beauty, and your strength. You know all of my flaws and love me regardless, and for that I love you most of all. Please, don’t tell me I’m too late.”
Charlotte couldn’t speak; she was so happy. Phillip loved her. It was what she had dreamed of since their first night together. She leaned in and kissed him, unleashing a current of passion. Phillip drew her close, deepening the kiss. Within a moment, he hungrily took over the embrace. He kissed her with such possession that Charlotte thought she might faint. Phillip’s tongue made its way to her welcoming mouth. Their tongues dueled back and forth, neither able to get enough. They had gone too long without the taste of the other. Charlotte’s fingers tangled through his hair as she tried to draw him even closer.
Phillip broke the kiss and gazed into her eyes. “Say you love me too, Charlotte.”
“I love you, Phillip. I have since the first kiss.”
“Then, you shall never want for all the kisses you desire.”
With that, Phillip once more lay siege to her mouth. This time he was more urgent, the need building in them both. Charlotte felt his hands run up and down her spine, leaving her shivering with delight at his touch. Even with the layers of clothes, he burned a path with his hands. He made his way to her ear, nibbling at the lobe, which made Charlotte sigh with pleasure.
Phillip’s warm breath tickled her ear as he got closer. “Stay with me tonight. I need you.”
“I can stay for a while, but my parents expect me back later tonight.”
“I will go with you.”
Charlotte pulled back, “You want to meet my parents?”
“Of course, how else am I going to ask your father for permission to marry you?”
Charlotte blinked her eyes in disbelief. Marry Phillip. It couldn’t be true. She thought she was dreaming until she felt his lips on hers.
“Marry me, Charlotte, and make my life complete.”
“Yes, Phillip, I will marry you.” She kissed him again, this time with all the desire and happiness she felt. Phillip trailed kisses down her neck, and she laughed as the stubble tickled her skin.
Phillip stood up and put his hands out to her. Charlotte took his hands and joined him. Without a word, he scooped her up into his arms. She squealed with joy. Phillip kissed her one last time before making his way upstairs. With each step he took, Charlotte’s stomach curled in anticipation. They were headed to his bedchamber, and her skin already felt hot and flushed.
They entered Phillip’s bedroom, and he slammed the door with his foot. In a matter of minutes, they were both naked, lying on the bed with their arms and legs entwined, and their lips fused in a kiss of absolute passion. They had each let go of their demons and opened their hearts to love. Nothing stood between them except unbridled desire.
Phillip playfully bit at Charlotte’s breasts and stroked her womanhood as she rode his hand to completion. She threw her head back and called out his name. With one thrust, Phillip sank his rod into her warmth and started a vigorous pace.
There was nothing left between them but raw passion and the desire to be as one. Phillip could finally show all he felt for her, without hesitation. A wave of desire raced up and down her body, centering on the core that Phillip stroked each time he drove into her. She was going to orgasm again. Phillip bent down and took her tongue into his mouth, with the desperation of a man hungry for her taste. Their tongues danced and caressed as Phillip drove into her again and again.
When Charlotte couldn’t take any more, he stroked her pearl with his fingers, and the flood gates opened. Her muscles tightened around his cock as she came in a loud release, with words of love on her lips.
Phillip wasn’t far behind, and she felt him stiffen as he emptied his seed into her. They would have children together someday. The idea made her cry out in delight. Phillip rolled over still clenched in
side Charlotte’s body and her embrace. She settled deeper into his arms.
Eventually, they separated their bodies and fell into a light slumber. Later, Charlotte awoke with Phillip’s rock-hard cock already inside her. He held her from behind while he played with her breasts and fingered her. As he stroked her, he pumped deep into her wetness until they both came in torrents of love.
After their last bout of lovemaking, Charlotte realized it was time to leave. She had to be home soon, or her parents would worry. They dressed together, and Phillip helped hook her dress. The memory of the other times they had shared the same intimacy made her smile. Who knew that a journey halfway across the continent would lead to a lifetime of love.
Charlotte gazed into Phillip’s eyes. His look of pure adoration mirrored her own, as he placed a tender kiss on her lips.
“I will escort you home and ask your father for permission to marry you.”
Charlotte pulled her head back in surprise. “Tonight? But they’ve never met you.”
“Didn’t you tell them anything about our trip? Did you even mention me?”
She quickly answered. “Yes, I told them of the noble Englishman who escorted me home, but nothing more.”
“Well, that is enough of an introduction, I think. Come, the carriage awaits.” Phillip took Charlotte in his arms. “I’ve waited long enough for this love. I will not wait any longer to marry you.”
Phillip enclosed Charlotte’s hand with his own, as they made their way down the steps. They would be together, and they would be stronger for it. Charlotte beamed as they entered the carriage. Whatever life would bring them, with Phillip by her side, Charlotte knew it would always be an adventure.
THE END
Enjoy a sneak peek from book two in the Romancing Intrigue series following Ethan Norris as he fights for a second chance at love in The Spy’s Lady…
The Way to a Spy’s Heart: A Steamy Victorian Historical Spy Series (Romancing Intrigue Book 1) Page 15