“I don’t mind at all.”
“What are you two whispering about over here?” Bishop asked as he walked up to us.
“Abby just had a great idea! A little Christmas Eve luncheon in the greenhouse.”
Bishop looked at me with raised brows. “Can we get the greenhouse cleaned up by then?”
“Yep!” I said, my excitement clearly visible. Except he thought I was excited about a luncheon, when really, I was screaming inside that I was planning our wedding.
“I’m not sure how much I can help clean since we’re about to be so busy,” he said.
I took his hand in mine. “Don’t you even worry about it. Arabella and I will take care of everything.”
Bishop smiled. “If hosting a luncheon makes you happy, then it makes me happy.”
My heart melted. How had I ever been so damn stupid to leave this man? After everything I’d put him through, all he cared about was making me happy. I couldn’t possibly love him more.
I reached up onto my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, waggling my brows at him. “Do you want to know what really makes me happy?”
Arabella groaned. “Ugh, seriously?”
Bishop and I both laughed. He slapped me on the ass—or as best he could, since I was wearing a coat—and said, “Later, baby.”
Arabella rolled her eyes, but I saw the smile she was attempting to hide curling the corners of her mouth.
“Everyone’s starting to leave,” Bishop said. “I thought you might want to say goodbye to your folks.”
“Yes!” I took his hand and glanced back at Arabella.
“I’m going to start cleaning up a bit,” she said as she picked up cups and plates.
“Leave it, Arabella, I’ll get it.”
She waved me off. “No, go say goodbye to your folks. I’m not in a hurry to leave just yet.”
Bishop chimed in. “Arabella, just sit down and relax.”
She motioned with her hands for us to go, and Bishop and I both shrugged.
“Be right back!” I called to her.
After my folks left, we said goodbye to everyone else. Greer and Hudson, Willa, Aiden and a sleeping Ben all left together. Candace and her boyfriend, Rick, who was a firefighter for Boggy Creek, left with Kyle and his puppy, Cat.
Bishop and I started to walk from the barn to the firepit, but stopped when we saw Arabella throwing the ball for Jack with Hunter standing next to her.
Sighing, Bishop said, “I know neither of us has any damn right to comment on those two, but I really wish they’d both get their heads out of their asses and tell each other how they feel.”
I laced my fingers with Bishop’s as we slowly walked toward them. Jack barked and jumped for the ball Arabella was holding. She looked up at Hunter as he spoke.
Still several yards away, Bishop suddenly stopped and faced me. “Abs, I know you know what happened to Arabella in college. I’ve never asked before, because I figured if Arabella wanted folks to know, she’d tell them. But whatever it was, she’s still not over it. Yes, she’s gotten out more in the last year and is socializing with most everyone again…but there’s something keeping her trapped in the past.
“If I learned anything from you coming back home, it’s that we can’t keep things locked down inside. And if you want something…if you love something…you have to fight for it. If you hadn’t shown up in Boggy Creek again, who knows how long the two of us would have kept denying our feelings. How long would we have kept pretending we weren’t still in love? You locked away in Boston, me in my head. I’m tired of seeing them both miserable. I want to do something to help.”
Nodding, I replied, “I do, too, but what can we do?”
Bishop looked at Hunter and Arabella, then back at me. He had an uncertain expression on his face. “If I had known what was troubling you, Abs, I would have moved heaven and earth to get you back.”
I felt my body sag. “Bishop, you’re asking me to break a vow I made to Arabella.”
He squeezed my hand. “Look at them, Abs.”
Turning, I watched as Arabella looked up at Hunter while he tossed the ball for Jack. It was now dark outside, but with the full moon bouncing off the snow, it cast a soft light over the entire area. The look on her face broke my heart in two.
I knew that longing on her face. That need to tell Hunter her true feelings, but still unable to overcome the fear of him turning away from her.
“The way she’s looking at him. That longing on her face…I’ve felt that,” I said.
“Abby, you don’t have to tell me. But I think Hunter needs to know.”
I nodded and was about to say something when they both turned and looked at us as if they knew we’d been staring at them.
Arabella met my gaze, waved, and started toward us.
Bishop let go of my hand, and I met Arabella on the other side of the firepit.
“I should be getting home now. Thank you so much for such a fun evening.”
Bishop and I had invited Arabella over so many times in the past to our little traditional tree cutting party, and I was so happy she’d finally decided to join us. I pulled Arabella into a hug and held her tight. “I’m so glad you came, Arabella. I love seeing you smiling and enjoying yourself.”
When she stepped back, I linked her arm with mine. We started walking toward her car. “You’ll be okay driving home?” I asked.
She nodded. “I’ll be fine.”
“Text me when you get there.”
“I can follow you home if you want, Bella,” Hunter offered with a genuine smile.
Arabella looked at Hunter and seemed to be debating her response.
I spoke before she could. “I think that’s a great idea, Hunter.”
“So do I,” Bishop added.
“Honestly, I don’t want you to go out of your way,” Arabella said as Jack came up and sat down at her feet. She reached down and stroked his back. It was clear to me Jack made her feel at ease. I smiled at the bond the two of them had already formed, simply from this one evening together. Jack hadn’t left Arabella’s side nearly the whole night.
“I’m not going out of my way,” Hunter said. “Please. I’ll feel better knowing you got home safely.”
Bella chucked. “It’s Boggy Creek, Hunter. It’s not like I’m in Boston.”
“Trust me, Bella. I’m a cop, and Boggy Creek has its fair share of crime.”
She chewed on her lip as Bishop and I exchanged a quick glance. When I looked back to Arabella, I saw her inner turmoil. I went to encourage her, but she spoke first.
“O-okay. If you don’t mind…I do think I’d like for you to follow me home.”
A wide grin moved across Hunter’s face. “I don’t mind at all.”
Arabella turned and faced Bishop. “Are you sure you don’t mind delivering a tree for the apiary shop, as well as one for my folks on Saturday? I know how busy you are this time of year.”
Bishop leaned down and kissed Arabella on the cheek. “Not at all. I’ll give you a call before I head out your way. It’ll probably be around four.”
She smiled. “Thank you, Bishop.”
“Call me tomorrow?” I asked as I gave her one more hug.
“Oh, I will. We have a lot to talk about.”
Bishop slipped his arm around my waist, and I felt my face heat.
Arabella climbed into her car and started it. Hunter headed for his Ford Explorer and called for Jack—who refused to move from the side of Arabella’s car.
With a frown, Hunter said, “Jack, come.”
For the shortest moment, it looked as if Jack might not listen to Hunter, but then he finally got up and trotted over, jumping into the back area of the Explorer that Hunter had made up for him. It was like a giant kennel in the backseat.
We watched as Hunter and Arabella drove down the long drive.
Sighing, I leaned into Bishop. The heat lamps that we had placed all around the area were now off, and I was beginning to get cold.
/>
“Come on, Abs. Let’s get you back up to the house to warm up.”
“What about this mess?” I asked.
“I already hired someone to come and clean it all up. They’ll be here in about twenty minutes.”
“Are you sure, Bishop? I don’t mind—”
He pressed his finger to my lips. “The only thing I want to do right now is get you up to our bedroom and strip you out of those clothes.”
“I should go home and get…” I let my voice trail off when Bishop raised a brow.
“This is your home. You can go to your folks’ place tomorrow and get whatever you need. You still have a closet full of clothes here if you need something for tomorrow.”
Reaching up on my toes, I kissed Bishop. “I don’t deserve you.”
He pulled me into his arms. “Yes, you do. Now, let’s go. I’m freezing.”
I got up early the next morning and headed to my folks’ house. Bishop had stayed back at the tree farm to get ready for the season-opening day, and I wanted to make sure I was back in time.
I spent about thirty minutes packing up the few things I’d brought back with me from Boston. I had either sold or given away nearly everything, thinking I would most likely be starting over from scratch or, God willing, that Bishop would forgive me and I’d be moving back in with him. I couldn’t help but smile knowing the latter had come true.
“Is this it? Three bags?” my father asked as he entered my room.
“This is it.”
“Ready to go home, pumpkin?”
I sighed and smiled. “Those are the sweetest four words I’ve ever heard, Daddy.”
He laughed. “It was actually five, but I’ll let it slip.” He picked up two of my bags while I reached for the third.
After I got back to the tree farm, I changed, put on a little bit of makeup, and headed into the kitchen to have one more cup of coffee. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t complain about why I was so tired.
Bishop stood there, a cup of coffee in his own hand.
“Pinch me.”
He waggled his brows. “I don’t think we have time for that.”
I laughed. “I’ve wanted this moment to happen for so long—I just want to make sure I’m not dreaming.”
Bishop set his coffee mug down—his favorite one that said, I grow magical trees—and was in front of me in three steps. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned in. “Because me making love to you three times last night wasn’t a good enough pinch, I’m going to kiss you.”
“Okay,” I whispered as my heartbeat sped up.
The moment his lips met mine, I felt it. Bishop’s love poured straight into me and my body heated. The man always did know how to kiss me senseless. Except this time, his kiss meant so much more. Our kisses in the last twenty-four hours had been so much more intense than they ever were before. I could only imagine it was because we had both known what we had been missing. And the sheer happiness of being back together.
As he drew away, he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and gently bit down. “There, I pinched you. Now, are you ready to go sell some Christmas trees?”
I knew I wore a goofy smile as I looked up at him and whispered, “Don’t you mean magical trees?”
He grinned. “There is something magical about this place, isn’t there?”
Nodding, I agreed. “Something magical indeed.”
Bishop
The farm was insanely busy, and I hadn’t been able to catch my breath since our opening day two weeks ago. Although we were normally steady until we ran out of trees each year, we hadn’t ever been this busy. I knew it was because Abby had taken over the marketing from me and was knocking it out of the park. Apparently, in Boston she’d been in charge of marketing for a flower shop and had learned a lot from the owner. Now she was using what she’d learned for the farm, and it was paying off.
I walked over to Ken, who had been in the process of helping bale and load trees. He looked up at me and smiled. “Can you believe this crowd?”
Glancing at the line of cars waiting to have their trees baled and loaded, I grinned. “I think we’re going to run out of trees by next weekend.”
He laughed. “I think you’re right. We have that reserve section; we could open it.”
I nodded, taking in the sight before me. Kids were running around, chasing the few snowflakes that were falling, and people were gathered around the firepit, making s’mores and drinking hot apple cider, all of them with delighted expressions on their faces. That’s what Wonderland Tree Farm was. A magical place that made people happy. I was positive I was the happiest of them all.
Damn, I love this job.
Turning back to Ken, I asked, “Have you seen Abby?”
“Last I saw, she was in the barn with Arabella. They’re hosting a wreath-making class.”
“Another one?” I asked with a disbelieving chuckle.
Ken nodded. “It appears to be even more popular than last year. Arabella is teaching the adults, while Abby’s doing one for the kids.”
I felt my heart swell with happiness. The last two weeks had been perfect with Abby. Every spare minute we were alone, we either talked or made love. It felt like my world had finally righted itself, and I was living in heavenly bliss.
We had discussed birth control but had decided to just let nature take its course. We both wanted kids, though when we talked about it, I could see in Abby’s eyes that she was still nervous. Not terrified, but nervous, which was expected. I was fucking nervous as well.
Hitting Ken on the arm, I said, “I’ll relieve you in a bit; I’m going to go peek in on that class.”
Ken rolled his eyes. “You have fun with that.”
When I walked into the barn, I took in the crowd of people. My mother was behind the cash register, informing someone of how to properly take care of their new Christmas tree. Next to her was a young girl Abby had hired to work in the store. Her name was Melinda and she had been a huge help. My mother adored her, and even though Mom and Dad technically came into town each weekend to help out on the farm, I knew they enjoyed catching up with their friends in Boggy Creek even more. Melinda being here afforded my mother more time to chat with folks she knew.
Mom caught my eye and smiled. I waved and she motioned with her head toward the right side of the store, where the room we used for classes and such was located. When schoolkids came to visit the farm, this was where we educated them on the process of planting and growing Christmas trees. When Abby wasn’t showing people how to make wreaths, she was hosting cranberry-and popcorn-stringing parties. Last Monday, she’d also arranged for a group of older women to use the room to knit stockings to donate to the children’s hospital in Boston.
I wasn’t even sure how she was doing so much on the tree farm, while also helping her folks on the flower farm, plus cleaning up the greenhouse for the Christmas Eve luncheon.
I headed over and leaned against the doorjamb to watch as Abby moved about between all the kiddos. It amazed me how effortlessly she’d blended right back in—not only in my life, but on the tree farm and at her folks’ place as well. The way she smiled while she helped one of the kids lay out their branches for the wreath made my chest tighten and warm.
My mind drifted back to two days ago, when we had met with Christina Nash. It was our first joint therapy session with her.
“Let me first start by saying, pregnancy loss is one of the most common experiences that no one—especially the mother and father—wants to speak about. I personally don’t like referring to it as a miscarriage. The meaning of the word already implicates something went wrong, and most mothers immediately think they were the cause of the loss.”
Abby stiffened, and I reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Christina turned to Abby. “Abby, I want you to tell me what your loss felt like.”
Taking in a deep breath, Abby slowly exhaled. “I remember…every time I woke up, it felt like it would hit me all over again,
that I wasn’t carrying the baby. It felt like such a tremendous loss, and I was drowning in feelings of guilt and sadness. It was like they were competing with each other. I wasn’t sure how to tell Bishop my feelings because, at the time, they felt so overwhelming. I felt so crazy. Looking back, I honestly think I suffered some sort of mental breakdown. How could I have possibly felt like I was reliving the same day over and over again?”
I felt sick to my stomach, knowing now that Abby had been more than simply sad.
Christina nodded. “Believe it or not, Abby, that’s something I’ve heard many moms—and dads—say. When someone loses their parent, for example, there’s a bereavement process that you go through. You’re allowed time off from work, time to say goodbye at a funeral. People often have celebrations of life. When you experience a pregnancy loss, there isn’t any of that. As a matter of fact, most couples, like you and Bishop, hadn’t even told their friends and family that they were expecting yet. So in a sense, they grieve in silence as they continue on with their lives, trying to pretend everything is okay. Some choose to share the loss, some do not.”
“That makes so much sense,” I said softly.
“The two of you haven’t properly grieved together. And that’s no one’s fault,” she said as she looked directly at Abby. “Before our next session, I’d like you to do something in honor of your baby. I have some clients who might have a gathering with family to do this. Some go off on their own for a few days and do something together, just the two of them, and reflect on the baby. One couple I work with wrote letters to their baby, sealed them in bottles, and put them in a river. They watched as the bottles floated away and were able to say their goodbyes.”
Abby sat up. “I love that idea.” Turning to me, she looked up with almost pleading eyes. I instantly knew that this was something Abby felt in her heart we needed to do.
“I love it too,” I said. “I say we plan something.”
She's the One (Boggy Creek Valley Book 3) Page 21