by Kealohilani
Lani now came to some of her favorite random photos.
First was Kara at a sleepover holding out a sheer piece of black material behind her, which she had suddenly grabbed— her arms outstretched as if it were a cape— as she had declared, “Look! I’m a bat!” Those words had become a running joke for that entire year.
Next— Raoul wearing a serious expression with a trench coat flaring around him as the photo caught him in the middle of a Matrix move.
On another day— now sporting a flat expression with sleepy eyes— Raoul had taped an index card to his forehead, which read “BORED” in big block letters. Classic Raoul!
However, he looked positively exuberant in the next photo— which was of their homework bonfire in the backyard at the end of their junior year. Raoul and the other four friends danced around the fire in the firepit and threw a good portion of the year’s papers, projects, and poster boards into the flames.
The boys contributed more to the small inferno than the girls— who had insisted on keeping some of their favorite assignments. Lani couldn’t remember who had pushed who in first— but all six of them had ended up in the pool, fully clothed, right after the homework conflagration had ended. She could still hear the splashing and the laughter in her mind.
Pictures of Lani and Justin together at both Junior Prom and Senior Prom, dressed to the nines, looking happier than ever, had also made it into this two-dimensional treasure chest of memories. Lani’s heart felt a tinge of pain as she viewed the prom photos. She quickly changed her focus and looked at the next pictures with a wide smile.
She was so glad that she had made the decision to skip the sixth grade! Otherwise all of her wonderful friends— who had made high school such an absolute dream— would have been a full year above her. What if I had never even met them?!
Eventually, Lani turned the page to continue her cross-referencing the senior class list in her email inbox with the yearbook. She noticed a new message from one of her college friends, Jessica.
It had been a few weeks since she and Jessica had been able to see each other, and she was excited to hear from her. She opened the email with a smile on her face, which quickly disappeared as she realized that it hadn’t been meant for her at all.
Like, oh my gosh! Lani gets everything she wants. Everything! She graduated from high school as a flippin’ valedictorian! And she’s got a full ride scholarship, when the rest of us actually have to work for our education. She thinks she’s sooo perfect!
Lani’s eyes widened. How could Jessica think that? Her finger hovered over the delete button. This hadn’t been meant for her, after all. And, if this was how it was starting— how would it end? Lani wanted to look away but found herself unable to do so. She sighed as she lost the battle with herself and scrolled down to see more of the message. Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued to read.
Lani has all the guys drop at her feet all the time when the rest of us can’t even get a guy to ask us out! She thinks she’s soooo beautiful.
You don’t know what I have to put up with, Melanie! And the worst part is that she ACTS like she’s NOT stuck up. She tells me she thinks I’m prettier than she is and whenever anyone tells her she’s smart she’s always like, “I just work hard, that’s all.” It makes me so sick! She’s such a lying fake!
Anyway, it’s so not fair! Lani gets everything that she wants so easily! I don’t even know why I’m friends with her!
Lani laughed in disbelief as the welled-up acidic tears spilled over their banks and fell, streaming down her face. Why did Jessica write all of this?
I’m planning a trip to Palm Springs the same day she graduates so I don’t have to sit in the audience and pretend to be happy for her and risk throwing up all over the person in front of me! Lol.
Lani wiped her tears away and sighed as more tears continued to fall. Out of the corner of her eye, Lani saw a large picture of her and Josiah that had somehow fallen in with her high school memories, as she had grabbed everything she needed for the reunion project. She clutched it and hugged it close as she stared blankly out of the sliding glass door at a solitary empty transparent-pink inflatable tube, rotating slowly as it floated across the surface of the pool.
At Jessica’s mention of graduation, Lani’s mind drifted away to the effort she had been putting into school. Lani was now a senior in college finishing her degree in business with an emphasis in digital media.
Although she loved creative and artistic endeavors, she had listened to the counsel from her high school teachers, her college professors, and her parents, to have a backup plan. The business degree would allow her to be instantly hirable— while she pursued her dreams— and would be useful in any career.
The digital media classes gave her a creative outlet for her business training— telling compelling stories through film. As she proceeded through school she had found that filmmaking was indeed another passion of hers, and tied in perfectly with her newfound desire to write.
She dreamed of creating a film production company someday— and knew that business and digital media combined would prepare her well. But, for now— she had just been excited about graduating and celebrating with her friends.
How hollow the upcoming ceremony felt at this moment… Lani shook off this train of thought and forced her eyes back to the email.
She’s such a poser too! Acting like she’s all intercultural and stuff. Just cuz she takes a few classes doesn’t make her ANYTHING! Some of us actually ARE intercultural.
Anywayz, gotta run! Thanks for letting me vent! I’m getting so tired of holding all this in and pretending to be her friend. I think I’m gonna go delete her off facebook right now, lol. See ya!
Lani sniffed as she reached for the tissue box by the lamp on the end table next to the couch and delicately dabbed her now slightly-swollen eyes. Lani could only imagine that Jessica’s last accusation had to do with the fact that she was also earning a minor in Polynesian Studies.
It was a minor that Lani’s college had just begun to offer when she had started school, as an addition to the Anthropology Department. They had modeled it after the Hawaiian Studies and Polynesian Studies programs at BYU-Hawai‘i.
But now— just as she was about to graduate— the funding had been cut so severely that she could only hope that it would last long enough for her to finish her degree. Unless a lot more people expressed an interest in the program, it was going to die.
Lani couldn’t believe that someone could be so harsh toward another person for wanting to broaden her horizons. She had chosen her minor as a result of taking one class, as a freshman— called Malama ka ‘Aina— which had taught her about the Native Hawaiians and their love for their land.
It had been a love-at-first-sight kind of moment for Lani— only with a whole people, rather than with just one person. That instant affection had opened the door to the world of the Polynesian islands— and each successive class made her fall even more in love with its peoples, countries, cultures, and languages.
During her exploration of everything she could learn about Polynesia, she had learned to speak Tongan, because Tonga had become one of her favorite island nations. Hawai‘i and Aotearoa were two of her other favorites. However, somehow, the Hawaiian and Māori languages had been beyond her reach— while she had had an instant aptitude for the Tongan language.
However, she had never bragged about any of this. She simply did it.
She had no idea, before this email, that Jessica felt this way about her. Now that she did know, she could not understand why she would feel this way.
Jessica was fluent in French and Lani could only converse slowly in Tongan, at best. And, even then, the person she was speaking Tongan with had to be very patient with her.
Lani suddenly realized that she had finally reached the end of the vicious email. She took a deep breath and slowly typed only ten short words in response.
I don’t think you meant to send this to me.
L
ani hit the send button and stared out through the sliding glass door once again, holding Josiah’s picture closer. Her cat chased a lizard across the little bridge over the narrow end of the pool by the waterfall and disappeared into the flowering bushes just beyond. Lani continued to stare at the now-motionless bushes.
“You know that’s a bunch of garbage, right?” Tyler asked, gruffly.
Lani jumped. How does he do that? It took her a moment to realize that the question he had asked meant that he had been there long enough to read the entire email.
“Yes, but that doesn’t make it feel any better.”
Tyler sighed and gave his sister a hug.
“Don’t let her get you down, Sis. She’s just jealous. She even admitted she was just pretending to be your friend— and I know you were a true friend to her, because you always are.”
“That’s nice of you… I try to be…”
“I know you didn’t just try, because I’ve seen how great you make your friends feel— all of them— and I know how great you make me feel as your brother. None of that stuff she said is true.
“School wasn’t easy for you, especially in high school. I saw you watch your friends take off to have fun while you stayed back to do your homework ‘cuz they were so much faster than you were.
“And don’t forget that teacher who decided it was her personal goal in life to destroy you just to teach you that not everything in life was fair. Just ‘cuz you rose above the odds doesn’t mean they weren’t stacked against you just as much as they are against everyone else.”
“Thank you, Ty-Ty. Wow, that teacher… I haven’t thought about her in forever. I never understood teachers like that—”
“Preach, Sister!”
“No, but for realz. I don’t really care what happened to me because I don’t let it get to me when people tell me I can’t do stuff— but some kids really take it to heart and have their hopes smashed before they can even get to the ‘real world.’ Aren’t teachers supposed to support kids and actually encourage them to reach for their dreams?”
“See! There you go thinking about other people again when you’re crying and you’re hurt! By the way, I’ve got that teacher as soon as school starts again. You will be avenged!”
Lani laughed and tried to stop her silent tears from falling as her brother continued.
“And, I don’t know what she’s talking about on those guys, ‘cuz all I’ve seen is a bunch of losers posing as good guys long enough to get you to be their girlfriend or fiancée or whatever. And as soon as they are number one on your priority list they stop making you number one on theirs.”
Lani considered Tyler’s words. For all her ambition, she had always made time for love, no matter how busy she was. She felt strongly that love should be the top priority and that it would invariably enhance other areas of her life. Lani enjoyed relationships and she took them seriously. She truly and deeply believed in searching for and finding her other half— her soul mate.
“You treat them like kings and like they’re the hottest guy on the planet— even the ones who are coyote ugly— and then they break your heart!”
“Tyler!”
“What? It’s true!”
She didn’t agree with Tyler that any of them had been ugly. But she knew that some of them had not been what others would call handsome.
That was what was so tragic about the fact that she could never find what she was looking for. If her only requirement had been that a guy looked like a designer underwear model, it might be fair to say that maybe sometimes she got what she asked for. It was exasperating, however, to constantly keep her priorities straight and still get the same result as if she had just picked some hot guy at random.
“You just haven’t been able to catch a break! She’s probably just jealous ‘cuz you keep putting your heart on the line even though it gets smashed again and again— and she doesn’t even have the guts to open up once!”
“She tries…”
“And you are anything but stuck up or shallow! You think everyone is beautiful and you love everybody!”
“Everyone is beautiful…”
“Dang that idiot girl!”
“She’s not an idi—”
“Yes she is! I’ve seen you drop everything, even in the middle of deadlines, and drive for miles just to give someone a hug when they’re sad!”
“That’s just being a good friend and—”
“But not everyone does that, Lani! I bet she wouldn’t! This chick is really ticking me off! Who is this Jessica girl, anyway? What does she know? She sounds stupid! If she wasn’t a girl, I’d kick her trash for being stupid and then I’d kick the trash out of her again!”
“Tyler!”
“Maybe I can get Michelle to do it for me…”
“Tyler! ”
“Don’t you dare listen to her, Lani!”
“I think that might be the most I’ve ever heard you say in one go,” Lani remarked with a laugh, as her tears started to slow.
“Yeah, well, I save it for special occasions,” Tyler confessed, smiling and calming down a little. “But it’s all true! I’ve never seen someone take so much garbage and keep going. You’re just not normal when it comes to love.”
“I’m not normal?” Lani squeaked.
She sniffed and wiped the last tears away from her eyes as she smiled at her brother’s rant. She had always suspected she was a little different when it came to love.
Unlike most modern girls, Lani was an incurable romantic and saw the best in people. She really believed in true love and wanted to get married, despite the prevailing skepticism about conventional marriage.
She knew that if she wanted her happily-ever-after that she would have to stay true to her values and continue to give each guy a fresh chance by reminding herself that the new guy had done nothing wrong. That the past did not equal the future.
She wanted to marry her best friend and wake up each morning to someone she couldn’t wait to be with. To spend every day with someone she couldn’t get enough of because they connected on all levels— from spirituality and intellect to spontaneity and creativity. She knew love would be worth it in the end. That’s what made it worth it now while she waited for him to find her.
“Heck no, you’re not normal! But that’s a good thing. Normal is boring. And normal for stupid girls like Jessica is catty, self-absorbed, and stupid.”
“You really shouldn’t call her stupid.”
“I’ve got other names I know you’d like less.”
“No, thank you— we can just agree she was being mean and insensitive in that email.”
“Fine, mean! She’s a mean, mean, mean, mean,” Tyler took a dramatically flared huge breath in, “mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, girl with a less-than-genius IQ.”
“Okay, I’ll take it,” Lani laughed. “Thanks for the pep talk, Ty-Ty. You know, you’re growing up to be quite an awesome guy. At only seventeen you know more about how to cheer a girl up than a lot of the older guys I’ve dated. Michelle’s a very lucky girl.”
“I know, right?” Tyler said with a laugh. “Now if you promise me not to listen to that stu— I mean, that… oh the heck with it— that stupid chick! If you promise me not to let that psycho get into your head, I’m gonna go raid the fridge. I’m starving! You want anything? And more importantly, do you promise?”
“Yes, I promise that I’ll try to not think about it. And, no thank you, I just ate a little while ago.”
“Okay, I’ll come check on you in a sec then, Sis.”
Tyler bounded off to the kitchen. Lani sighed and kept her promise to try to push Jessica’s words from her mind. Her brother was right— it wouldn’t do any good to dwell on them.
Lani left the chaos of memory lane behind her. She picked up one of her favorite books, got a blanket, pulled out the notebook she used to jot down notes for the novel she was writing, and grabbed her laptop.
Once outside, she crossed the little b
ridge and sat herself down on her blanket under the tree she loved more than any other— partly because of its large climbing branches and ample shade, and partly because she loved to listen to the rustling of the leaves above her in the whispering breeze mixed with the gentle sound of the nearby waterfall as it bubbled exuberantly into the pool below it.
Just behind Lani, the cat emerged from the bushes— triumphant— with a long lazy stretch. It licked its lips happily and scampered up the tree, without being noticed, after a butterfly— which, at the moment, was luckier than the lizard had been. Thwarted, the cat settled on a branch, just above Lani, and watched her fingers flying across the keyboard, with mild interest, until it fell asleep.
Through a Glass, Darkly
Chapter Five
Darkness. Pitch black. Nothing. Hands stretching out. Searching. Still nothing.
Where am I?
Not cold. Not hot. Not dry. Not humid.
The ground beneath… Wait, where is the ground? A surge of panic. No sensation. No touch. No sound. No taste. No smell. Only darkness. Black, incomprehensible, darkness.
No way to move forward or backward. Now, arms falling limp. No more movement possible. No falling sensation either— just a sick vague floating feeling. Lani opened her mouth to scream. Unable to make a sound, her panic deepened and her eyes flew wide— still seeing nothing.
Suddenly, a large, door-sized, gilt-framed, looking glass appeared in front of her. All remained impenetrably black. All except for the mirror— the edges of which were illuminated by coursing blue and green electricity.
Lani tried to jump back from it but could not. Inexplicably forced to stare into the mirror— partly entranced, partly horrified— she saw her reflection and realized that the electricity wasn’t just around the frame of the mirror. It was surging around her.