by Karen Rose
‘His name was Adrian.’
Was. Slowly he let out the breath he’d been holding. Past tense. ‘He died?’
She flinched. ‘Yes.’ Then gave her head a small shake. ‘We were . . .’ She hesitated, licked her lips again. ‘Happy.’
But she looked even more miserable than she had before. And he had even more questions than he’d had before. Who the hell was Adrian? When had they been together? How had they been together? Lovers? Married? He swallowed back a growl at the thought of anyone touching Dani like that.
Then he forced himself to calm down and think. He wouldn’t do himself any favors grunting like a possessive caveman.
Think, Kennedy. Who the fuck is Adrian? But he couldn’t recall any of their mutual friends mentioning an old boyfriend, much less a husband.
How had Adrian died? And exactly how happy had they really been? Because she looked like she was about to cry, and he didn’t want that.
Steadying himself, he cupped her cheek in his palm, his heart perking up when her eyes closed again and she leaned into his touch. Hope flared in his chest, bright and hot and . . . painful, because if she didn’t mean it, it was going to hurt like hell.
It would hurt worse if he never tried.
‘So,’ he murmured, latching on to her – albeit reluctant – admission. ‘You want me. You just don’t want to want me.’
She hiccupped a stunned little laugh, her cheeks going all rosy. ‘Yes.’
‘Not a bad starting place,’ he said lightly.
She shook her head, her cheek brushing against his palm because she hadn’t pulled away. Nor had she opened her eyes. ‘You’re incorrigible.’
‘Like that’s the first time I’ve heard that.’ He caressed her skin with his thumb, relaxing an iota when her lips curved. He leaned in a little closer until he could smell the light scent of chocolate in her hair. His courage was bolstered by the rapid flutter of the pulse at the hollow of her throat. Her mouth was right there. So damn tempting. But he’d never take anything from her without permission. ‘Dani?’ he whispered.
Her eyes slowly rose to meet his and he sucked in a breath. He still saw sorrow, but there was also heat. Hunger. And a yearning that was every bit as strong as his own.
He could hear the seconds ticking by, loud drumbeats in his head. Or maybe that was his pulse, because his heart was pounding like it would break free from his chest.
Finally she spoke, the single word not a question, but an answer. ‘Yes.’
He reached for her, cupping her face in both hands. His trembling hands, he realized. He was shaking like a leaf. And then, after what had seemed like an eternity of waiting, he kissed her.
It was sweet. She was sweet. She smelled like chocolate and tasted like the chocolate mint tea they’d been drinking. God. He shuddered hard. He wanted her in his arms, but he didn’t dare let her go even to move around to her side of the table. He didn’t want to scare her away. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this moment.
Because he was kissing her and she . . . He couldn’t suppress the growl that rose in his throat. She was kissing him back. He heard the scrape of a chair across the floor and then she was standing, leaning into the kiss, her hands gripping his wrists, running up his arms, over his shoulders, cradling his face.
She hummed a quiet moan, then pulled back way too soon, resting her forehead against his. Panting.
He’d made her pant. She might not want to want him, but she did, and he’d take it for now. But then she spoke and his confidence began to crumble at the edges.
‘Oh God,’ she whispered, and his heart skipped an apprehensive beat.
He was afraid to ask, but he needed to know. ‘Oh God good or oh God bad?’
Her chuckle was shaky. ‘Both?’ She lifted an equally shaky hand to caress his skull, fanning back and forth in a rhythm that calmed his fears. But then she dropped her hands to his wrists, holding him in place as she pulled farther away, creating an unwelcome distance. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
He straightened, sliding back until he held her hands over the table. He wouldn’t tell her that she wouldn’t hurt him, because she had the power to destroy him, and that scared him to death. ‘Let’s just see, okay?’
She bit her lower lip, still plump and wet from his kiss. ‘I can’t promise you anything.’
He met her eyes directly. ‘I didn’t ask you to. Let’s take it a day at a time.’
She opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a throat being cleared. As one, they shifted to look at the doorway, where an uncomfortable Michael stood. Dani yanked her hands away like she’d been caught shoplifting.
Diesel wanted to snap at Michael for interrupting them, but pushed his annoyance down. It wasn’t the kid’s fault. In fact, he might have done them a favor, because Diesel was pretty certain he didn’t want to hear what Dani had been about to say.
Dani gave Michael an awkward wave. ‘Hey.’
Michael’s gaze flicked from Dani’s face to Diesel’s. ‘I’m sorry,’ he signed. ‘I’m hungry.’
Diesel didn’t miss the sheer relief that passed over Dani’s face. ‘I’ll work on dinner,’ she said brightly, then turned to the fridge, where she stuck her face in the freezer a second time in less than an hour.
It’s okay, Diesel thought. She could back off if she needed to. Because he’d seen the longing in her eyes, the need. She might not want to want him, but she did.
He smiled at Michael. ‘You settling in okay?’
Michael’s smile was shy. He held up a copy of The Hobbit. ‘I started this one.’
‘A classic. I liked that one.’ Diesel sat down and patted the seat next to him. ‘Why don’t you read while I work?’ He opened his laptop and briskly typed in his password. Which was Dani’s birthday – the numbers and letters scrambled for security purposes, of course. Not that he was admitting that to anyone.
Michael sat. ‘Why is Dr Dani staring into the freezer?’ he signed without any sound. ‘Is she okay?’
Noting the white-knuckled grip Dani had on the freezer door handle, Diesel bit back a frown, his lips still tingling from their first kiss. Their first, because there would be a second. Please, God, let there be a second. ‘Don’t worry,’ he signed, also without sound, certain that Dani wouldn’t appreciate them discussing her. ‘She’ll be fine.’ I’ll make sure of it.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Saturday, 16 March, 9.30 P.M.
Just once, Dani mocked herself. She’d known one kiss would never be enough. Not with a man like Diesel Kennedy.
Diesel.
There hadn’t been anyone else since Adrian. Not a single man who’d caught her eye, who’d made her look once, much less twice. Not until Diesel Kennedy had entered her clinic eighteen months ago.
She’d known then. Known he’d be a problem, with his chocolate-brown eyes, his tall, broad frame. His ink. She shivered. God, his ink.
He pressed every button she possessed. That day and today.
I can’t promise you anything.
I didn’t ask you to.
And he hadn’t. That was the problem. If he asked, she could say no. Resolutely, emphatically no. But the man never asked for anything.
He should. He should demand it. He should demand to know for sure. He should demand to know if she’d ever be ready.
She’d thought he would ask, all through these months, but he hadn’t. He’d stayed cautiously on the periphery of their circle of friends. Watching her. Wanting her.
At least he wasn’t watching her now. She’d felt his eyes on her as she’d hung out in the freezer for so long that even Michael had looked worried when she’d finally emerged, a frozen macaroni and cheese casserole in her hands.
Michael had been reassured with a smile and busied himself with the book he’d chosen. But Diesel had silently watche
d as she’d prepped dinner, preheating the oven and making a salad. But he’d finally returned his attention to his laptop.
Which he was currently frowning at, a deep groove etched in the center of his forehead. She clutched a dishtowel, fighting the urge to press her lips to that groove, to see it smooth. To watch his shoulders relax.
And then to kiss him again.
Abruptly his gaze flicked right to where Michael sat, the boy’s lips moving soundlessly as he read. Diesel opened his mouth as if to ask Michael a question, then snapped it shut, shaking his head before looking up to meet Dani’s eyes.
His were worried, and she wondered what he’d seen on his screen. It involved Michael, she was certain.
She clucked her tongue for Hawkeye, who sat next to Michael, leaning on the boy’s leg. Michael was absently stroking his head and Hawkeye was in heaven. The dog always seemed to know when the kids needed him. Michael wasn’t the first foster kid Hawkeye had glommed onto.
The dog immediately began to trot over, but Dani stopped him with a hand signal. ‘Bring your brush,’ she told the dog, pleased when he ran from the room.
Michael’s eyes widened when Hawkeye reappeared with the brush carefully held between his teeth.
‘Nice trick,’ Diesel murmured, then added the signs for Michael.
‘No bite marks in the wood, either,’ Dani signed. ‘Good dog,’ she praised, scratching Hawkeye’s back in the place that made his eyes close and his leg kick.
‘Did you teach him?’ Michael asked her, a grin lighting up his face.
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘but not by myself. One of our friends has a shelter. I got Hawkeye there when he was just a puppy. My friend helped train him. Delores is amazing. Maybe you can meet her.’
‘I love dogs,’ Michael said wistfully.
‘Then you should definitely meet Delores.’ Dani held out the brush. ‘Can you brush him? He loves it. But in the basement, if you don’t mind. If you do it up here, his hair goes everywhere and I hate pulling it out of my dinner. There’s a TV down there. And an Xbox,’ she added.
Again, his eyes widened. ‘I can play it?’
‘Of course! Have fun.’
Michael took the brush and gestured for Hawkeye to follow him. When his footsteps quieted, Dani shut the door to the basement. ‘I don’t want him to see what we’re saying if he comes up more quietly than he went down.’ She took the seat next to Diesel. ‘What have you found?’
‘Stuff that doesn’t make any sense.’ He pointed to his screen. ‘I started checking Michael’s stepfather’s finances when I was at the Ledger this afternoon.’
‘I figured you had. Are you the private investigator that Rex Clausing mentioned? The one working for his law firm?’
‘One of them.’ Diesel hesitated. ‘I hacked into Brewer’s home network.’
Dani blinked, unsure why this was something he felt the need to admit. ‘I know. You’re a hacker. One of the best, according to Deacon and Adam. You’ve helped on a lot of their cases. Kate and Decker’s, too.’ Kate and Decker were FBI agents who sometimes worked with Deacon, and who had been firmly enfolded in their circle. ‘Did you think I didn’t know?’
He shrugged uneasily. ‘I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it. It is illegal, y’know.’
Her lips twitched. He was . . . cute. Not a word she’d ever thought she’d associate with the man. But he was. And sweet, too. ‘I’m not the goody-goody everyone thinks I am.’
His brows shot up, his cheeks growing flushed. ‘You’re not?’
‘No. I’ve even recorded major league baseball without permission. It’s a slippery slope,’ she insisted when he snickered. ‘I could go all Ocean’s Eight any day now.’ She’d loved the heist comedy with the all-woman cast. She and her friends had watched it together one night and laughed till they’d cried.
‘I can see it now,’ he said. ‘You, Scarlett, Faith, Meredith, and Kate, sneaking in to Jeremy O’Bannion’s wine cellar to steal his Château Lafite Rothschild, all wearing black masks that Kate knitted for you, armed with Mer’s pink tactical pens with the engraved hearts that she buys on Amazon.’
Dani laughed, unexpectedly charmed. And momentarily breathless at the smug smile of pride that curved his lips. It made her want to kiss him again.
She swallowed and shook her head, giving herself time to gather her composure. ‘Nah, the girls and I don’t need any thousand-dollar wine. We’re good with the stuff in the box. Now, fine chocolate? That we might risk prison for.’ She pointed to his laptop. ‘Seriously, if you hacked the Pentagon, I wouldn’t tell. You’ve saved my life and the lives of my friends so many times . . . We owe you discretion.’
The twinkle in his eyes dimmed and she wondered what she’d said.
‘You don’t owe me anything, Dani,’ he said quietly. ‘Everything I’ve done has been freely given.’
Oh. Way to go, Novak. Make him feel like you’re obligated by gratitude. She was filled by the sudden need to make him feel wanted. For himself.
Because he was. And at some point I might even admit that to myself.
She sighed. ‘That was ham-handed of me. What I meant is that you are part of our circle, the family we’ve made, because of you. Not because we owe you. Even though we do. I would never reveal your secrets.’ She thought of him encouraging Michael in that dreary room at CPD. Think of it as a mugging. ‘Any of your secrets,’ she added. ‘I promise.’ She let her words hang between them for a few seconds, then pointed to his laptop. ‘So what have you found?’
He continued to stare at her for a few heartbeats more, then, closing his eyes, he cleared his throat. And shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
Heat flooded her face as his reason for the movement registered. She glanced down, unable to stop herself. And then closed her own eyes.
Holy hell. He was . . . very proportional. Everywhere. Sexual arousal washed over her in a mighty wave and she clenched her thighs together.
There’d been no one in so long. No one since Adrian. Her hand moved, her fingers outstretched and aching to touch him, but she yanked back, closing her fingers into a fist.
Stop it. This isn’t going to happen. Nothing is going to happen.
A loud scraping sound had her opening her eyes – in time to see him shoving his chair away from the table. He stalked to the freezer, opened the door, and stuck his head inside. Laughter bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her and she let it out, conscious that it was the second time in minutes that she’d sounded so happy.
He leaned back, glaring at her around the freezer door. ‘I’m glad you think this is funny.’
‘Not funny,’ she said quickly, anxious not to offend him again. ‘Not funny at all.’
He simply raised his dark brows in clear disbelief.
‘Okay,’ she amended. ‘It’s funny. The freezer, I mean. You gotta admit it.’
His lips twitched. ‘Okay, I admit it.’ He closed the freezer and retook his seat with a heavy sigh, his small smile gone. ‘What are we doing here, Dani?’
Nothing. But that wasn’t true. Denying that there was something between them was disrespectful. Whatever the something was, it wasn’t going to go anywhere, but she didn’t say that.
Because she didn’t want it to be true.
She drew a breath and let it out. ‘For now, we’re helping two little boys who may be in danger from a big bald guy who killed their stepfather.’
He nodded. ‘Right.’ He scrubbed his hands over his face, then focused on his laptop screen. ‘Like I said, I started searching through Brewer’s financials this afternoon.’
‘Follow the money,’ Dani said. ‘I’ve heard Deacon and Adam say it often enough. Where did it lead you?’
‘Brewer was spending a lot, but wasn’t bringing much in. He sold their house two weeks ago, but the transaction didn’t result in any kind of bank deposit
s, cash or otherwise.’
‘He didn’t deposit anything in his or his wife’s accounts? Did he use the money to buy something else?’
Diesel shook his head. ‘I don’t see any record of a purchase. And his wife had no accounts in her own name. His name is on all of her accounts, and it appears he’s slowly been bleeding her dry for at least a year. She had her own account, one with a sizeable balance, but that was more than a year ago. She added him to her account and now the balance is close to zero.’
Dani frowned. ‘If he didn’t deposit it or buy something, then he must have found somewhere to cash the check for the house sale. Maybe he got a cashier’s check at another bank.’ She had the sinking feeling that she knew what had happened to the money. She’d seen it before, just not on this scale. ‘Maybe he used the money to pay someone off. Someone who doesn’t take checks.’
‘That’s what I was thinking.’
She pursed her lips. ‘Either drugs or gambling.’
He nodded. ‘What do you know about that?’
‘My father – my biological father – gambled and drank. Couldn’t keep a job. That was why my mom had to move us in with Tammy and Jim. My father gambled away all of our money and then got himself killed in a bar fight. There was nothing left for us. No insurance, no nothing.’
At least Adrian had left her a little money to pay off his debts. He’d also left her HIV positive.
Diesel’s dark eyes softened in compassion. ‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured, then turned to his computer screen. ‘I think you’re right about Brewer using the proceeds to pay off debts. The rate of his spending sure looks like he had some kind of addiction. The problem is, there’s no record of the house sale. Nothing saying how much he sold it for. If I knew that, I could look for notations on a debt of that size.’
‘If there’s no record, then how do you know he sold it?’
‘Because he transferred the deed to a shell corporation. I still haven’t dug through all the layers to see who bought it, and I’ve been at it for a while.’