“No. No hospitals. He’ll know to look for me there. Just get me as far away from here as possible.”
“Gia, are you sure?” Nat asked.
“I’m sure. And wait…I need to do one more thing.”
Stepping away, I held out my left hand to look at my wedding ring. Pressed next to it was the engagement ring I foolishly accepted a lifetime ago. Together, they were supposed to be a symbol eternal love, the circle signifying infinite devotion. When Ethan chose the design, I wasn’t a huge fan. Now I detested the rings more than anything. They didn’t carry the meaning of a love everlasting but symbolized the shackles which held me down for far too long.
Tears blurred my vision as I ripped the rings from my fingers and took a few steps closer to where Ethan lay sprawled on the floor. I didn’t know why tears spilled down my cheeks. I wasn’t sad. I didn’t feel guilt over his motionless body. I wasn’t even numb—although I wished I were. Numbness would have been better than the unadulterated hatred boiling my insides as I stared down at him—my husband—the wolf in sheep’s skin who had damaged me beyond repair. The hate I felt for him surrounded me in blackness. It pulled me down until all I could see was red.
I didn’t like feeling that way but, in some ways, it gave me solace. I knew that hatred would be the driving force behind my survival and because of that, I would hold on to it for as long as I lived.
Tossing the rings down, they bounced and rolled until coming to a stop near Ethan’s head. Turning back to my friends, my gaze landed on three sets of sad and worried eyes. Squaring my shoulders, I walked back toward them, reaching deep into my soul to find the strength I would need for the road ahead.
7
50 miles from Indian Hill
I couldn’t go to Natalia or Teddy’s house. Ethan knew where they lived and he’d expect that. Instead, Teddy drove me deep into farm country until we found a cheap hotel where I could grab a room for the night. I hated putting my friends out this way, but I didn’t have much of choice. Fleeing with my own car was out of the question. It was registered to the chief of police. All Ethan had to do was flag the car as being stolen and every law enforcement agency in the country would be looking for me.
After much arguing, I convinced Teddy, Ben, and Natalia that I would be fine being left alone in the hotel and they should head home. Teddy agreed to come back tomorrow to drive me to wherever it was I needed to go. The only reason Natalia conceded was because Teddy said she could come back with him. The plan was for me to stay here overnight while I figured out what to do next. Perhaps it was foolish of me not to have planned for that but I never once thought about anything past getting out. I assumed I would have more time to figure out the rest.
I flipped on the television. Sounds from a vacuum infomercial filled the silence. I didn’t particularly care about watching anything on the screen. I just wanted the background noise. My body hurt right down to the marrow of my bones. I gently stretched out onto the bed, wincing as pain lanced over my ribs. I stared at the yellowing ceiling and contemplated where I should go in the morning. I’d always liked the waterfront in Cleveland. Housing was affordable there too. Perhaps I’d look into catching a Greyhound and heading there.
The Tracfone rang and I recognized Natalia’s phone number on the screen.
“Hey, girl” I said.
“Hey, yourself. I’m back in Cinci now. Teddy just dropped me off. You doing okay?”
“I don’t know. I’m hanging in there, I guess. It’s hard to articulate how I feel. Numb? Lost? I think I just need time to heal, you know?”
“And you will, Gia. You’ll overcome this and be stronger than ever. Mark my words!”
I smiled softly, appreciating the fierceness in Natalia’s tone and wishing I could channel some of that ferocity into myself.
“Thanks again for paying for my room. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Don’t sweat it. It’s like I said when we checked you in—you need to save your cash to get yourself back on your feet. Helping you out today was the least I could do. Any thoughts on where you’re going next?”
“I was actually just thinking about that. I thought maybe Cleveland. It’s affordable and only a few hours away.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t say someplace further,” she observed.
“Oh, I definitely thought about it. I like the idea of being near the ocean, but that usually comes with a hefty price tag. That’s why I’m thinking Cleveland. Lake Erie is going to have to be my ocean,” I joked, although nothing about the situation was remotely funny.
“Going to make your own beach, huh?” Natalia kidded back.
Natalia and I chatted for a while longer about Cleveland, before reverting back to my physical well-being. Her repeated concerns about me going to a hospital to be checked out were well intended, but she just didn’t understand. I had patched myself up enough to know the drill. I was finally free of Ethan’s clutches and that was all that mattered. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. After thirty minutes of reassuring her I was fine, I heard her yawn. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. The red digital numbers told me it was going on three in the morning.
“I should let you go. It’s late.”
“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow—or should I say today—when Teddy and I come to pick you up.”
“Thank you for everything. Good night, Nat. I love you, girl.”
“Love you too.”
I placed the phone on the nightstand and got up from the bed to change into pajamas. Just as I unbuttoned the fly for my jeans, the hotel room phone rang. I froze. The only people who knew where I was were Natalia, Teddy, and Ben. All three knew to call me on the Tracfone. The hotel phone continued to ring, the sound loud and intrusive. I took a step toward it and hesitantly picked up the receiver.
“Hello?” I said cautiously.
“Gianna,” said my husband’s familiar voice on the other end of the line. My stomach dropped.
No. There was no way… impossible.
“How did you find me?”
“Oh, honey. Haven’t I told you before that you shouldn’t try to be smart? Finding you was way too easy. Natalia used her credit card to pay for the room. I’m a cop, remember? Finding out that information is like child’s play. You can’t hide from me.”
I silently recited a whole slew of profanities and pinched the bridge of my nose. It never occurred to me that he’d track Natalia too. I knew better than to be so stupid.
“Leave me alone, Ethan. Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.”
“Leave you alone? Oh, I can’t do that. I’d worry too much about you,” he said in a sugary sweet voice. “Especially with your plan to go to Cleveland. I heard there’s a lot of crime on the waterfront.”
I stilled and my eyes grew wide. I immediately slammed the hotel phone back onto the base as if it had burned me. Blood pulsed in my ears and I broke out into a nervous sweat. The only way he could have known about Cleveland was if he heard the conversation I’d just had with Natalia. It was never once discussed before then. I glanced around the room nervously, then ran to the window. Pulling open the curtains, I peered outside. Looking past the fire escape, my gaze went to the parking lot. There were a few cars, but that was it. There wasn’t anyone there.
A loud bang on the door caused me to jump a mile.
“Gia! Open up!” I heard Ethan yell. There was another bang, then a thud from his body—or perhaps his foot—slamming into the door to try to get in. The cheap frame on the old hotel door splintered.
Shit, shit, shit!
Without thinking, I ran to the window and pushed it open. I glanced back. The garment bag with my clothes was still in the room. So was my purse with all the cash, the phone, and my shoes. I looked at the door that was barely still intact. Ethan continued to pound. He’d be through it any second now. The clothes would just weigh me down but I needed my purse and shoes.
A deafening crack sounded and I watched as Ethan
tried to wedge himself into the room through the now busted door frame. Moving as fast as I could, I snatched my purse from the floor. To my horror, the phone and wad of cash spilled out on the floor. Twenty-dollar bills seemed to flutter in the air in slow motion just as Ethan burst through the door. Abandoning the cash and the phone, I spun and raced back to the window. I pulled the latch to release the fire escape ladder, then scaled down the rusty metal until my bare feet hit the broken asphalt driveway.
Then I ran. And ran.
Ignoring the pain in my ribs, I ran until my feet were raw and bloody and I could run no more.
8
I barely felt the chilly autumn night air as I staggered up to a gas station located in the middle of nowhere. The bottoms of my feet were torn up, my body screamed in pain, and I couldn’t stop trembling. I needed help. I had no phone and no money. The only thing I had were the clothes on my back, my purse, and my wallet—even though it was devoid of all the cash I’d squirreled away over the past six months. I didn’t even have any shoes. My only saving grace was a payphone at the gas station. I almost couldn’t believe my luck. I hadn’t seen a payphone in ages and prayed it still worked.
As I dialed the operator and requested a collect call, I fretted over whether or not this was yet another stupid move. Calling anyone was risky—everything would be a risk from now on but I didn’t have a choice. When Teddy’s voice finally came through the line, I couldn’t disguise my relief. I was stranded with nothing but the clothes on my back. I needed him like I’d never needed anyone else before.
“Teddy!”
“Gia! What’s wrong?”
“Ethan found me,” I choked out. Just verbalizing it caused the trembling in my hands to worsen. “I was afraid to call Nat because I think he’s watching her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, I can’t explain how or why but I had to leave quickly. All of my stuff is still at the hotel. My clothes, my phone, my purse…”
I couldn’t continue. The sobs I’d swallowed before making the call burst forth.
“Where are you, Gia? I’m coming to pick you up. I knew we shouldn’t have left you at that damn hotel. You can come back to my place and—”
“No. Not your place. He’ll know to look there.”
“Gia, what do you want me to do?” He sounded exhausted. It was understandable after the night he’d just had because of me.
“I’m so sorry to drag you into this further…”
“No, no. Don’t say that. That son of bitch will never hurt you again. Where are you? I can’t help you if I don’t know where you are.”
Despite the fatigue in his voice, there was also an urgency that gave me the strength to carry on. I took a deep breath.
“Near some random highway,” I said, suddenly afraid because I truly had no idea where I was. It was dark and I wasn’t sure if I ran north, south, east, or west. I just ran. I quickly looked around for identifying landmarks.
“What highway, Gia?”
“Route Seventy-One, I think. Yes, I can see the road sign. I’m at a gas station with a convenience store. The sign just says min-mart and has a huge chicken on it. It’s the only thing around as far as I can see. I can’t be more than four or five miles from the hotel you dropped me off at.”
He was quiet for a moment, as if he were trying to picture what I was describing.
“Okay, I should be able to find it. My ex-wife still has some clothes kicking around here and you’re about her size. I’ll bring what I can as well as some cash.”
“You don’t have—” I almost said he didn’t have to bring money but stopped myself. I literally had nothing. I would have no choice but to accept. “I’ll pay you back.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s only money. Just lay low. It shouldn’t take me too long to find you, then we can figure out a safe place for you to go. But, Gia… Nat is going to ask questions when she can’t reach you on the Tracfone. What do you want me to tell her?”
“Tell her the phone’s gone and not to try to contact me.” I paused, took a deep breath, and thought about how easy it was for Ethan to track my location tonight. “That means you too, Teddy. It’s too risky. Once I figure out where I’m going, there can’t be any contact. I need to disappear for a while. I’ll call you both once I think it’s safe.”
He sighed and fell silent.
“Okay,” he eventually acquiesced. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. The thought of giving up the only family I had was soul crushing.
“Thank you, Teddy. For everything.”
“I’ll see you soon. And Gia?”
“Yeah?”
“You will be okay. I promise you.”
9
Part 4: A Fresh Start
Queens, New York
Two Weeks Later
The water began to run cold and I turned off the faucet. I squeezed out my hair and watched the clear droplets rain down onto my feet. Satisfied all the hair dye was completely rinsed, I stepped out from the shower. I pinched up my nose from the chemical smell of ammonia lingering in the air as my eyes absently roamed the small bathroom. Cream colored ceramic tiles in desperate need of fresh grout climbed the backsplash above the sink. Faded peel and stick tiles had begun to curl up around the edges of the floor, revealing another layer of graying linoleum. I wouldn’t consider the tiny room dingy, but it wasn’t anything like my bathroom in Indian Hill. Nevertheless, it was clean and all that mattered.
After wrapping a towel around my head and another around my body, I caught my clouded reflection in the steam coated mirror. I wiped the fog away and blinked harshly at the person staring back at me. I thought the deep chestnut brown hair dye would be enough of a disguise. Now I worried it wasn’t. I still looked too much like me.
I twisted my hair up to visualize what I’d look like with a shorter style. I frowned and tried to decide if a short bob would give me more protection. Impulsively, I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. When I returned to the bathroom, I separated my hair into four sections and began to cut.
Ten minutes later, I stared down at the long locks piled on the bathroom floor. Slowly, I brought my gaze back up to the mirror. The woman who stared back looked nothing like me at all. It almost hurt. I realized then that I might never see the old me again. The blonde was now gone, replaced by a dark brown that made my brows seem sharper. My eyes looked hollow and my face sunken. With the short haircut, no one would ever recognize me without a double take. It was unlikely I’d be spotted on a CCTV or street cam either. Knowing Ethan and the lengths he would go to, there was no such thing as being too careful. I was a nobody hiding in disguise, no longer recognizing myself. But that was the goal. This was my life now, no matter how depressing it might sound.
I may look different now, but the change started well before the purchase of a box of cheap hair dye. It had been a gradual change—little pieces of myself slowly getting lost every day I’d spent with Ethan. The denial had won before I could think to stop it. I had learned a hard lesson and vowed to never lose myself that way again. My years with him had made me stronger, harder, and more resilient—but I was still very much afraid.
After I threw on a t-shirt and jeans, my stomach began to grumble and I went into the kitchen to fix myself lunch. It was slim pickings. I knew I need to get more groceries, but just the thought of leaving the safety of these walls terrified me. Hence the reason for the cut and dye. I hoped the changes would make me feel more comfortable about venturing out.
Deciding on canned tomato soup, I poured it into a pot and set it on the gas stove. The old grandfather clock in the living room chimed noon as I waited for the soup to heat. I smiled to myself and looked around the sparsely furnished apartment. The threadbare plaid couch, faded curtains, and coffee ring stained end tables left much to be desired, but I was thankful for a place to call home. It was the best I could do on short notice and wouldn’t have been able to do it at all if it weren’t for the fat envelope of cas
h Teddy gave me the night I ran from the hotel. He also gave me a brand-new pair of Nike sneakers and a large duffle bag of clothes. Most were hand me downs from his ex-wife, but some still had the tags on them. Anything was better than nothing and I’d forever be grateful to him.
Once I had stopped shaking long enough to get cleaned up in the bathroom of the run-down gas station, Teddy had driven me to the bus station and told me to pick a place. I had decided to scrap Cleveland. It was too close to Cincinnati and the city wasn’t big enough. I needed someplace I could truly hide. I picked New York City for no other reason than its vast size. I could blend in better here. Plus, I was banking on the fact that Ethan knew I hated city living. Because of that, I didn’t think he would look for me here and it gave me a better sense of security.
Luckily for me, Teddy was able to hook me up with more than just cash and clothes. He happened to have an old friend in New York and was able to get me set up in an apartment relatively quick.
My new landlord, Oscar Tomasz, used to be a poker buddy of Teddy’s. They hadn’t spoken in years, but Teddy said I could trust him. That was all I needed to hear. Oscar didn’t ask questions about the bruise on my left cheek or the fingerprint marks on my neck. Cash payment of first and last month’s rent was all he needed. The fully furnished apartment was on the ground floor, an added bonus that I hadn’t counted on. Not only did it eliminate the burden of getting furniture, but the first-floor living meant I had more options in case I had to escape quickly. One could never have too many windows. The only downfall to the place was the pulsing bass from the dance club next door on Friday and Saturday nights—something I discovered on my second night here. However, beggars couldn’t afford to be choosers. I’d get used to it eventually.
Leave Me Breathless: The Black Rose Collection Page 35