by E. L. Todd
Friends and family noticed me then made their way over, congratulating me and telling me how beautiful I looked.
Wow, this was fun.
Slade was preoccupied entertaining people so I made my way over to him, Skye behind me. When I got closer, I realized the women were dipping their fingers into a jar of peanut butter then sucking it off.
What the hell?
Slade turned to me when he noticed me. “And there’s my bride now.” He pulled me into his side and gave me a PG kiss. “You look beautiful, baby.”
“Thank you.” He gave me butterflies and I wasn’t sure why. Sometimes when I looked at him he was so handsome he made me nervous. “This place looks beautiful, Slade.”
“I had the help of your mother and Grandma Preston.” He touched her shoulder.
“These peanut butter fingers are genius, Slade.” She scooped her fingers inside then ate it.
“Oh my god,” Skye whispered to herself.
“You’re marrying a good man,” Grandma said. “Don’t let this one go.” She had peanut butter smeared on her face.
“I don’t plan on it.” I tried not to laugh.
“Why don’t you go sit down?” Slade said. “I’ll bring you some lemonade and hot wings.”
“Hot wings?” I blurted.
Skye covered her face like she was cringing.
“Yeah, you love those.” He guided me to a chair and pulled it out for me. “Right here in the front.”
After I sat down I looked at him. “Conrad and Cayson are here—just to warn you.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” He leaned down and kissed me before he walked off to retrieve my things.
“This is unbelievable.” Skye watched the neighboring table smear their faces with sauce from the hot wings.
Slade returned with two drinks and two plates. “Anything else before we get started?”
“Why can’t we at least have a spoon for the peanut butter?” Skye asked.
“Because it’s not nearly as fun,” Slade said. “Baby, you’re good?” he asked as he turned to me.
“I’m perfect, Slade.”
“Great.” He walked away.
“This is so funny but so cute at the same time,” Skye said.
“Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves,” I said as I looked around.
Silke and Clementine joined our table and sat down.
“Have you guys had the peanut butter yet?” Judging the smirk on her lips she was trying not to laugh.
“Or the hot wings?” Clementine asked.
“Not yet,” I said, refusing to make fun of Slade.
“Oh, and there’s beer,” Silke said with a laugh.
I looked around the table and realized bottles of beers were on the tablecloths and people were actually drinking them.
“This will be a shower no one will ever forget,” Clementine said. “That’s for sure.”
Slade walked to the front with a microphone in his hand. “Hey, ladies. I’m Slade, the ridiculously sexy man Trinity is marrying. But I’m sure you all knew that.”
My cheeks reddened in embarrassment.
A few people laughed.
“So, we’re going to play a game. Cassandra is passing out papers right now. Mark down your answers and whoever gets the most wins a prize. Get to it.” He put the microphone down and started to mingle again.
“Wow,” Skye said she got the paper. “He’s actually doing a decent job…hot wings aside.”
“He’s doing his best,” I said.
Skye filled out the paper and struggled with some of the questions. “When did you break your wrist?”
I kept my mouth shut.
She rolled her eyes. “I used to let you cheat off me all the time.”
“Hey, I’m not giving you an edge.”
She kept reading. “Your favorite hobby? Clothes, right?”
I shrugged. I actually didn’t know what answers Slade put down for me.
After people filled them out for a while Slade returned to the front. “Times up, ladies. Now here are the answers.” He cleared his throat. “Trinity’s childhood stuffed animal was the hippo.”
I was surprised Slade remembered that.
“The second question,” he said. “Trinity’s biggest fear is of gorillas. It can’t be monkeys. It has to say gorillas.”
I was surprised he knew that too.
“What did Trinity want to be when she was little?” he asked. “She wanted to be a gardener.”
Did he get that from my mom?
“Next answer,” he said. “Trinity’s favorite hobby is reading.”
“Dammit,” Skye said. “I thought it was fashion.”
“What’s Trinity’s favorite ice cream flavor?” he asked. “Mint chip, Rocky road, and Orange sorbet mixed together. I know it’s gross but that’s what my bride likes.” He chuckled at the end.
I didn’t realize just how much Slade paid attention to my habits and quirks.
“Where did I propose to Trinity?” Slade asked. “Here, at her parents’ house.” He moved onto the next one. “If Trinity could go anywhere in the world where would it be?” He paused for a moment before he read the answer. “Italy.”
Skye watched my face. “You okay?”
I turned back to her, my mind having drifted. “Yeah…I just didn’t realize Slade knew me so well.”
“Well, you live together, right?”
“Yeah, but…I didn’t tell him most of those things.”
“Maybe your mom told him?” she suggested.
“Yeah…” But I had a feeling she didn’t.
***
After the games were done, Slade brought out the cake. “I don’t want to ruin it but we have to cut it.”
I came to his side and looked down. It was of a blonde woman in a white wedding dress. It wasn’t on a round cake like most. Actually, it looked like it was carved out of something else. There was so much detail to the surface it looked like a painting. “Who made this?” I asked in shock.
“I did.” He beamed with pleasure.
“You?” I didn’t doubt Slade’s intelligence but I didn’t think he was a secret baker.
“I had the bakery make the cake but I did the design,” he said. “It’s just like inking.”
“Wow,” I said. “It’s beautiful.”
“Thank you. It took me six hours.”
I wasn’t even sure when he did it.
“We have to get a picture of that.” Skye held up her phone and took a few shots.
My eyes started to water but I blinked them away quickly. Slade was so thoughtful. He was a bit eccentric and crazy at times but he was the sweetest man in the world. I moved to his side and hugged his waist, my face resting against his ribs.
Slade grabbed the slicer then handed it to me. “Baby, do you want to do the honors?”
I moved from under him and grabbed it. But when I looked at the cake I couldn’t do it. It was too beautiful. The girl looked just like me.
“We got pictures,” Slade said. “And I can always make another one.”
I sighed then cut into the cake. Once that was done, I was able to keep moving forward. Slade, Silke, and Clementine helped pass out the slices. Skye looked helpless with her arm in a sling.
“I’m getting a piece of that,” Skye said.
I was trying to stay away from junk food but I wouldn’t be able to resist a slice.
After everyone had their slices, we sat down and ate it. And boy, it was delicious.
“Amazing, right?” Slade asked as he stood over me.
“Yes,” I said with a mouth full of cake.
“I’m a pretty good maid of honor, huh?” he said with a proud look.
Skye nodded in defeat. “You know, you really are.”
“You need to open gifts now,” Slade said. “People will get anxious after cake.”
“You sound like you’ve done this before,” Skye shot him a look.
“Yes,” he said sarcastical
ly. “When I’m not inking or making out with Trinity I’m hosting random bridal showers.”
“I believe it,” Skye said with a shrug.
I was about to get up and move to the front when I spotted Conrad and Cayson cutting themselves a slice of cake.
Slade saw them too. “Oh hell no.” He marched their way.
“This should be good,” Skye said with a laugh.
“Are you guests at this party?” Slade snapped as he snatched the cutter out of Cayson’s hand.
“Uh, yes?” Cayson said with a guilty look on his face.
“Did you bring Trinity a gift?” Slade looked at him like he already knew the answer.
“Yeah,” Conrad answered. “But we left it at home…”
“You’re so full of shit,” Slade snapped. “No cake for you.”
Cayson tried to grab the cutter out of his hand. “But—”
“No,” Slade interrupted. “You came all the way down here just to be an asshole. Now you don’t get cake.”
“Dude, don’t be like that,” Conrad said.
“Shoo,” Slade said. “Trinity is about to open gifts.”
“How about a compromise?” Cayson said. “You let us have a piece of cake and we’ll clean up afterward?”
Slade looked tempted. “The whole place?”
“I didn’t agree to that,” Conrad blurted.
“You want cake or not?” Cayson said.
Conrad debated for a moment. Then he shrugged. “Fine. But we get some leftover hot wings.”
“Deal.” Slade handed the cutter back and returned to the front.
Skye shook her head slightly. “Boys…”
I tried not to laugh. I felt like we were back in time, having a birthday party in the summer when the boys weren’t invited.
Slade extended his hand to me. “Gift time.”
I smiled then took it and he led me to a chair in the front. I felt on display as everyone I knew stared at me. The table nearby was stacked with piles of gifts. I was certain nothing would fit in our apartment. We’d have to leave it with my parents until we bought a house.
Slade handed me the first gift, a pretty box with yellow wrapping paper. “Don’t take your time. You’ll put people to sleep.” Then he sat in the chair beside me with a clipboard so he could write down whom everything was from for the thank you card.
I stared at him for a moment, unable to believe he pulled this off so well. Somehow, the peanut butter fingers and hot wings were a hit, and everyone thought Slade was endearing. “I’m so lucky to be marrying you.”
His eyes softened when he looked at me. “Right back at you, baby.”
The entire crowd released a collective awe. I didn’t even realize they could hear us.
“Now rip into that paper,” Slade said. “These people have lives to get back to.”
I chuckled then open the first gift. “Ooh…a rice maker.”
“Sweet,” Slade said. “Maybe there’s lingerie inside of it.”
I rolled my eyes. “I really doubt it.”
“Well, check.”
“I’m not going to check.”
He sighed then leaned back in his seat. “If I’m right, you owe me a foot massage.”
I checked whom it was from. “I really don’t think my great aunt Muriel got me lingerie.”
Aunt Muriel stood up on her walking stick. “Check inside the bowl!”
Slade gave me the smuggest look I’ve ever seen.
With a shaky hand I opened the box then lifted the lid of the rice maker. Inside was a black ensemble. My cheeks reddened in embarrassment as people whistled and made catcalls.
Slade made notes on the clipboard. “Looks like this party finally got started.”
***
Cayson and Conrad sat at the table and started eating a pile of hot wings.
“You’re supposed to clean first then eat later, assholes,” Slade said.
“Hey, there will be nowhere to sit,” Conrad said as he kept eating.
“Yeah,” Cayson said. “We’ll do it.”
“Good,” Slade said. “Because Cassandra and I aren’t doing shit.”
Silke watched her brother with a slight smirk on her lips. “You know, you did a pretty good job today.”
“Pretty good?” he asked. “Shit, this party was a hit. All those old relatives you have totally adore me.”
Skye opened a peanut butter jar. “What’s the big deal about this…?” She stuck two fingers inside then sucked them off. She swallowed the peanut butter for a moment, chewing the chunks.
“Good, right?” Slade asked.
“Not bad,” she said. “But not classy.”
Conrad opened a jar then tried it. “I’d eat this.”
“The fingers add a nice kick to it,” Slade said.
“You mean, a kick of germs?” Silke asked.
“You want me to pull your hair and embarrass you?” Slade demanded. “Because I’ll do it.”
“Do you want my ex-con man to kick your ass?” Silke countered.
Slade rolled his eyes. “Arsen wouldn’t touch me. We’re really good friends—” He suddenly stopped in midsentence and shot Cayson a guilty look.
Conrad shook his head slightly. “You guys are such girls…”
“For the last time,” Cayson said. “I don’t care if you hang out with Arsen.”
“It didn’t seem that way at the gym…” Skye kept eating her peanut butter.
“Let’s not talk about that,” Slade said quickly.
“First, you tell Cayson you love him at the gym,” I said. “And then you throw a bridal shower… Hmm…should I be worried?”
He shot me a glare. “Baby, I just threw you a damn awesome shower. You better be nice to me. And when I say nice, you better suck me off while I watch the Yankee game.”
Conrad cringed. “Dude…I’m right here.”
“Like you didn’t know I was tapping your sister,” Slade said. “I’m marrying her, idiot.”
“But that doesn’t mean I want to hear about your sex life,” Conrad countered.
“Well, Trinity and I have a really intense sex life,” Slade continued. “We fuck all over the place and all the damn time—”
My dad came out of the house and approached Slade from behind.
I needed to interrupt him. “Slade—”
He held up his hand and silenced me while he kept talking. “I motorboat her, I tittie-fuck her, and we do anal once a week—”
“Stop talking!” My dad wasn’t almost there and everyone noticed his approach.
Conrad smiled when he realized what was happening. “Oh yeah? What else do you do?”
Slade kept going like he was winning some sort of argument. “And she can take my whole damn cock in that pretty mouth of hers. And she can swallow all of it—”
“STOP TALKING!”
Dad reached us, and judging the awkward look on his face, he heard some of it.
Slade noticed the pained look of resisted laughter on everyone’s face. Then his eyes fell. “Mike’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
Man, this was awkward.
Slade turned around and gave my dad a guilty smile. “What’s up, man?”
I wasn’t sure how Dad would react but I doubt it would be in a good way. “I didn’t hear anything. Let’s just…go with that.”
I wanted to cover my face and die.
“Okay…” Slade looked uncomfortable.
“You did a great job with the shower,” Dad said after he cleared his throat. “Cassandra and I are impressed.”
“Thanks,” Slade said. “It wasn’t as boring as I thought it would be.”
Dad eyed the table with all the gifts. “So, I think we might need a U-Haul truck to move all this.”
“Actually, we don’t have any room in the apartment,” I said. “Can we leave it here until we buy a house?”
“Sure,” Dad said. “We have a few extra bedrooms.”
Slade rolled his eyes. “Rich bitch.�
�� He said it under his breath.
“What was that?” Dad asked.
Slade looked panicked. “I said…rich niche…”
Dad clearly knew what he said judging the amused look in his eyes. “You’re lucky I like you, Slade.”
“Well, I’m pretty cool,” Slade said.
“If you have to say you’re cool,” Conrad said. “Then you aren’t cool.”
“Go clean something,” Slade barked.
“So, when’s the bachelorette party?” Dad asked.
“Next weekend,” Slade said.
“That soon?” I asked incredulously.
“Baby, we’re running out of time,” Slade said.
“When are you having yours?” I asked.
“The following weekend,” he said.
“It’s just going to be Silke, Skye, and me, right? Since Clemy probably shouldn’t be wandering around Vegas with a bunch of drunk girls.”
Clementine sighed in sadness. “Why do I have to be pregnant right now?”
“Because you couldn’t resist that fine hunk of a man,” I blurted.
Slade shot me a deadly glare.
“I mean, some women might find him hunky…but I don’t.” I hoped that would save my ass.
Skye and Silke tried not to laugh.
“I’m coming too,” Slade said. “Since I’m hosting it.”
“What?” I asked. “You can’t come to my bachelorette party.”
“Too bad,” he said. “I am. And believe me, we’re going to party so fucking hard.”
Cayson looked terrified. “I’m not trusting you with my fiancé. I’m coming too.”
“You can’t come,” I said. “That would be the lamest bachelorette party ever.”
“No offense, baby,” Slade said. “But it’ll probably be more lame if we don’t come. You’ll do what? Hit the pool? The spa? Get your nails done?”
I kicked him playfully under the table.
“I’m not letting Slade remake Girls Gone Wild,” Cayson said. “I’m coming. That’s final.”
Conrad shook his head. “I have better things to do.”
“You weren’t invited,” Slade hissed.
“Can I bring Arsen?” Silke blurted.
“Then it’ll be a triple date,” Slade argued.
“Well, if Trinity and Skye get to bring their men, then I get to bring mine,” Silke argued. “That’s final.”
“May as well,” I said. “Since it’s not really a bachelorette party at this point.”