by S J Bolton
As though to demonstrate the point, although she gave the impression of doing it unconsciously, Megan put a hand to the small of her back and leaned into it.
‘You’re insane,’ Daniel muttered, but he couldn’t look her in the eyes.
Megan threw back her head and laughed.
‘Oh, cheer up, you wimp,’ she mocked Daniel. ‘As long as you live through surgery and don’t get a post-operative infection, you’ll be fine. You’ll barely notice your loss. I’d say you’re getting off lightly compared to the others.’
Amber startled them all with her sudden movement. She jumped to her feet and half ran towards the door. ‘I’m not staying,’ she announced. ‘I’m not listening to this.’
Reptile-quick, Megan caught hold of her old friend by the sleeve of her jacket. ‘Not so fast,’ she said. ‘No one walks away from this.’
Tears were rolling down Amber’s face. ‘Please don’t,’ she begged.
‘Ruby, I think.’ Megan had a small, tight smile on her face, as though she’d just chosen a puppy from a litter. ‘She’ll find it easiest to adjust, being younger. Tell her she’s going to stay with her Auntie Megan for a while. She’ll be thrilled – she really liked me. She’ll probably ask to go home a lot in the beginning, but children are very adaptable. She’ll get used to it. Eventually. And I promise to look after her.’
Xav swallowed hard. He was feeling sick, and it wasn’t even his kid this deranged woman was threatening. Amber, unsurprisingly, looked ready to faint.
‘Megan, you’re going too far,’ he said. ‘You can have the trust fund, no one’s arguing with that. Felix will give you some shares in his company – shut the fuck up, Felix – and if you really want me to leave Ella and give it a try with you, then OK.’ He stepped closer and tried to soften his face, even to smile. He couldn’t do it, if he’d had a gun with him, he’d have shot her, but he made himself keep talking. ‘There was always a bond between us,’ he said. ‘I admit it, and who knows, maybe it will work. But Daniel’s not giving you his kidney, and Amber’s certainly not letting you have one of her children. You can’t ask that.’
It was working. Megan was smiling back at him. She even reached out and touched his arm. Then her smile slipped from her face like melting ice.
‘You don’t get it, do you?’ she said. ‘I can ask whatever I like, because all of you face losing everything.’ She started pacing the small room, pointing her finger at people as she spoke to them. ‘Dan, you won’t survive five years in prison – they will eat you alive. Losing a kidney is nothing compared to that. Felix, your company will collapse when you’re convicted, and your wife and kid will be penniless. Of course that mercenary bitch will divorce you and you’ll never see Luke again. Xav, your wife will leave you like a flash when she finds out what you’ve done, and Amber, what would you really prefer? Keep one of your girls and know the other is being taken care of, or see them both for an hour, every month, for the rest of your life.’
She stopped moving and turned to address the group. ‘You have until July the first, the night of Amber’s party. By then, I want all arrangements to be in place. And yes, I do expect an invitation. I’ll be coming with Xav.’
‘What about me?’ Talitha said. ‘What’s my favour?’
Megan turned to smile at Talitha, almost as though remembering her presence was a wonderful surprise. ‘I’m glad you asked,’ she said. ‘Amber, sit down, you’re going nowhere yet. Xav, back off, you can’t win this.’
Xav led Amber back to her seat. She collapsed into it and started sobbing quietly.
Megan’s mood seemed to change. She sat down on the coffee table, making herself smaller than most of them, almost in a position of vulnerability. Xav wasn’t fooled; she’d been planning this for a long time. He watched her lean forward, as though about to confide something important.
‘Let me ask you something, guys,’ she said. ‘Did any of you wonder why I failed my A levels twenty years ago? Did you wonder for a second what had gone wrong?’
‘Of course, we did,’ Xav said. ‘But given everything else going on at the time, it wasn’t top of our list of things to talk about.’
Megan’s eyes hardened. ‘And true to form, you were only concerned with how things affected you. You hadn’t the slightest interest in what was going on in my life.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Megan, we were kids,’ Talitha snapped. ‘What eighteen-year-old isn’t self-obsessed? So, you had some personal stuff that threw you off track? Big deal.’
Megan’s eyes flashed. ‘Personal stuff? I’ll tell you what happened to me in May of that year, just a couple of weeks before the first exam. I was gang-raped by my dad and four of his mates. How’s that for personal stuff?’
The revelation seemed to reverberate around the room. Even Talitha seemed to have paled. ‘You’re kidding,’ she said.
Megan shook her head. ‘I’m going to give you the short version,’ she said. ‘The time for crying on shoulders has long gone. I never really knew my dad. When he wasn’t in prison, he wasn’t interested in his daughter. But naive idiot that I was, I wanted a dad in my life. I kept hanging around him, hoping he’d show an interest. I turned up at the caravan one night when he and his mates were out of their heads on cocaine and things got out of hand.’
‘When?’ Talitha asked. ‘When was this?’
‘You want a date? The seventh of May. Friday night. I was supposed to be meeting you at The Old Firestation and didn’t turn up. I told you the next day I’d been throwing up all night. That bit was true.’
‘I remember,’ Amber said.
Xav remembered it too. By May of that year, Amber had been starting to get on his nerves, and he’d found himself dwelling on the events – the unfinished business – of Will Markham’s party. Almost without realising it, he’d fallen into the habit of waiting for Megan to show up, actively looking for her when she didn’t.
‘Why didn’t you go to the police?’ Talitha said.
‘Because I’d been drinking too. I’d been with them for about an hour before it all kicked off. I’d taken some coke too, and I thought I’d be blamed, that people would say I’d led them on, that I’d been a willing participant. Because I was ashamed that my dad, my own dad, would let that happen to me, would even take part himself, and because I was eighteen and when we’re eighteen, we fuck up.’
‘You should have told us,’ Talitha said. ‘We’d have helped.’
‘Would you? Would you really? Because I don’t remember any of you being interested in me.’
‘That’s not true,’ Amber said, but she did so without any conviction.
‘Meg, I’m sorry,’ Felix said. ‘That’s really fucked up. I wish we’d known.’
For a second, Megan almost seemed touched by Felix’s words; even to Xav they’d sounded genuine. Then she pulled herself together and turned away from him.
‘So, here’s what you have to do, Tal. You have to use your unsavoury family connections to deal with my unsavoury family connections. Get in touch with that bloke who helped you break into my room the other week, or someone else if he doesn’t do the wet work, and get my father out of my life once and for all.’
Talitha gave a scared look around. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ she asked.
Megan got to her feet. ‘That’s your favour, Tal. You have to murder my father.’
38
They watched their old friend walk away through the rain. As the church clock chimed ten, Felix got up and vanished behind the bar. He reappeared a few minutes later with a bottle of Scotch and glasses. Nobody complained when he poured five large measures.
‘Any suggestions?’ he asked.
‘I’m not giving her Ruby.’ Amber jumped in before anyone could speak. ‘Even if I was prepared to, which I’m not, Dex won’t allow it. I could tell him everything and he’d still never give
up one of his daughters.’
All five had taken separate seats, Xav noticed, some distance from each other, neither offering nor seeking comfort; it was as though they’d all decided that, ultimately, they were facing this alone.
‘Would he see you go to prison?’ Daniel asked Amber.
‘Yes, I think he would.’ Amber looked from one face to the next, as though pleading with them. ‘It can’t be done. I’m sorry, guys. Even if you all agree, I can’t go along with it.’
Xav waited for Felix, possibly Tal, to argue. Neither did.
‘Well, the bitch isn’t getting half my company.’ Felix spoke up loud and clear, almost making Xav jump, and he gave Amber a grim smile. ‘Don’t worry, Am. It’s not going to happen.’ He looked round at the group. ‘None of it is.’
‘We’re all dying to hear your plan,’ Daniel said, after a second.
‘She gave it to us herself.’ Felix had finished his drink and was glancing, almost guiltily, at the bottle. ‘You just had to be listening.’
‘I’m not following,’ Xav said.
Talitha was watching Felix. ‘I am,’ she said. ‘And I agree.’
The two of them held eye contact for a second, an unspoken message flashing between them, and Xav felt something small and revolting, insect like, creeping down his spine.
Felix said, ‘Megan wants Tal to take a hit out on her dad. In different circumstances, I’d be OK with that – the guy’s an absolute sleazebag. In the current one, it feels like a waste.’
No one spoke. Tal’s eyes were on the floor, Amber’s shooting around the room. Daniel was staring at Felix as though he couldn’t tear his gaze away.
‘Is it possible?’ Felix asked Talitha, after a moment or two.
‘In theory,’ she said. ‘It could be done. It’s risky. And expensive.’
‘We’ve got the trust fund,’ Felix said. ‘Xav, do you think you could get it back?’
Xav gave a non-committal grunt. He didn’t know; it would depend how carefully Megan had hidden her tracks. And frankly, he wasn’t sure where this was going.
‘What would be expensive?’ Amber wasn’t either.
Although Xav felt maybe he was, on some level. He was suddenly restless, wanting nothing so much as to run out into the rain.
‘Hiring a hitman,’ Talitha said, as though discussing any employment contract. ‘I’d need to go home, talk to some people.’
By home, Talitha meant Palermo, where her mother’s family lived. It was happening then, Talitha and Felix were contemplating hiring a professional killer. Xav waited for someone – Amber, Dan – anyone, to object.
‘You’re actually going to do it?’ Xav asked when no one else spoke. ‘Hire someone to kill Megan’s dad?’
‘Half right,’ Felix said.
‘I’m not following,’ Xav said again, although by this time he knew that he was. Even Amber had lost her puzzled expression.
‘We hire the hit man,’ Felix said. ‘And we kill Megan.’
39
Xav was on his feet. ‘You’re out of your mind. You’re not turning me into a murderer.’
‘We’re all murderers, Xav.’ Unable to resist any longer, Felix reached for the Scotch. ‘For twenty years we’ve had the blood of three people on our hands. This is just one more, to save all of our lives.’ He unscrewed the bottle top but paused on the act of pouring.
Xav turned to Amber. ‘You’re not going along with this? Am, this isn’t you.’
Unhappy as she looked, Amber’s voice didn’t waiver. ‘She’s not taking one of my babies, Xav. She crossed a line.’
‘Dan, are you in?’ Felix asked.
Daniel put his fingers to the centre of his forehead, and Xav thought for a moment he was about to cross himself. But then his eyes closed, his hand fell back to his side and he let his head nod up and down.
The bottle clanged as Felix put it down; his glass remained empty. ‘OK, so we buy time,’ he said. ‘The first of July’s a month away, and we can probably get some more time if we need to. Dan, send those forms off. It will take weeks to get everything sorted. You can invent a cold if need be. All you have to do is avoid going under the knife till Tal can get her side organised. Amber, tell her you agree but it has to be towards the end of the summer. You and she can start looking at schools together in Oxford. The key thing is to make her think you’re going along with it.’
Amber, pale-faced and trembling, nodded her agreement.
‘I’ll do the same,’ Felix went on. ‘Pretend to be making plans for the share transfer but slowing the pace. How soon can you fly out, Tal?’
‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this.’ Xav heard his voice, unnaturally loud, even over the hammering of the rain. ‘What the hell is wrong with you all?’
‘She hasn’t given us a choice,’ Amber said.
None of them, not even Amber, could look at him.
‘And what she’s asking of you isn’t that bad.’ Daniel half glanced up, and his face looked sly and mean.
‘Oh, you think?’ Xav made for the door. ‘No. I’m not doing it. I’m not having a hand in killing anyone else. I’ll give myself up before I do that.’
‘You can’t make that decision for the rest of us,’ Daniel said.
‘Watch me.’
‘OK, wait.’ Felix could move fast for a big bloke; he caught Xav on the doorstep, blocking his way out. ‘You’re right. We’re rushing into this.’ He caught the look in Xav’s eye and stepped back a pace. ‘Let’s sleep on it – no, sod it, let’s take the weekend to clear our heads – and talk again in a few days. OK, mate?’
Felix stepped back further, hands up in a placatory gesture. ‘We’ll talk on Monday, for the rest of the weekend, we just chill. Maybe we can persuade Megan to be reasonable. The red lines are Amber’s kid and Dan’s operation, am I right?’ He glanced round at the group.
‘And the contract killing,’ Xav added.
Felix was suddenly Mr Reasonable, as though Xav were the one with the outrageous demands. ‘Right, so maybe we can talk her into dropping those,’ he said. ‘I can make her a shareholder in the company. I draw the line at fifty-one per cent but I can offer her something. Maybe she can go abroad for the transplant. And we can persuade her to go to the police about her dad. Tal, you could act for her in that, couldn’t you? Really, I mean, this time, not screwing her over.’
Tal nodded, her eyes shooting from Felix to Xav.
‘Could that work?’ Felix asked Xav. ‘Maybe she’s bargaining with us, and what we heard just now was her opening gambit. We can make a counteroffer. That could work, couldn’t it?’
‘Maybe.’
Felix patted him on the shoulder. ‘OK, go get some rest. We’ll talk in a couple of days.’
Desperate to be out of the room, away from them, Xav strode out into the night and ran through the rain back to his car. It was only when he was pulling out of the driveway that he realised none of the others had left the pool house. They were all still inside, talking.
About Megan? Or about him?
40
Over the weekend, Xav felt as though he was losing the ability to think rationally. Each time he tried to maintain a train of thought, the ideas slipped from him, the way they typically did in those last moments between being awake and sleeping. He tried using pen and paper, plotting different courses of action: he could quash his conscience and go along with Felix’s plan, telling himself that Megan’s life had effectively ended twenty years ago, that they were simply putting a wounded animal out of its misery; he could persuade Megan to run away with him, live off the trust-fund money, never seeing or contacting the others again; he could support the rest of them in a counteroffer, hoping Megan would see reason. As the weekend went on, different possibilities occurred, some reasonable, others downright outlandish, but they all had one massive flaw: the Ro
binson family. Whatever he did now, there was no escaping the knowledge that he had taken three lives, and never really paid the price.
Still no way out that he could see. He couldn’t confess without taking the others down with him. Luke, Ruby and Pearl would grow up without one of their parents; Mark, Dex, Sarah and Ella would all see their lives shattered; the children he’d thought might appear in his own future would fade like a forgotten dream. As the minutes stretched into hours, Xav found himself looking at his wife’s lovely face. He’d never seen her cry, wasn’t sure she’d known real unhappiness in her life. And now he was going to break her.
The others had been as good as their word; not one of them had been in touch. But he was getting paranoid. Maybe they were meeting without him. Maybe his refusal to go along with the plan had turned him into the outcast. Was it completely out of the question that Felix and Talitha had decided the contract killer from Palermo could solve two problems for the price of one and that next time he got into his car, he might find the brakes no longer worked?
Xav started checking that the doors to his house were locked. When Ella was offered a ten-day job in Iceland for the following month, he agreed so enthusiastically that she looked hurt, but in Iceland, he knew, she’d be safe.
A little after noon on Saturday, a plain white envelope was pushed through the door, marked, Xav. Inside he found a business card for the Travelodge on the Abingdon Road with the single word Megan written on the rear. What the hell did that mean? Was she expecting him to join her there?
By Sunday evening, he was losing it. He’d barely slept the night before, hadn’t eaten all day, and couldn’t keep still. Enough. He had no idea what he would say to Megan, but he was bringing this to an end.
The traffic was light and it didn’t take long to reach the Travelodge. Megan’s car was parked close to the exit. The young man on reception rang Megan’s room, told Xav he needed room twenty-four on the second floor and buzzed him through the secure door. Xav climbed the stairs, walked the corridor, found room twenty-four and knocked. She opened the door and, without speaking, stepped back to let him enter.