by T. S. Joyce
“I told you I was broken,” she whispered, frozen in his predator gaze.
“Mmm,” he rumbled. “You are the least broken person I’ve ever met.”
She bit her trembling bottom lip to steady her emotions. “That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”
He huffed a breath and stood, taking their plates with him. He’d finished off four baked potatoes and a mound of other food while she’d only been able to finish two-thirds of her plate. Confused by his abrupt escape, she readied for bed, then pulled on her jacket and stepped outside to brush her teeth. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, but she still pulled her hood over her head.
Jenner was leaned against a tree near the corral, as still as a sentry in the soft glow of a lantern he’d hung from a low branch beside him. Only his eyes moved as he followed her path toward a canteen that sat on a splintered table.
Teeth brushed and mouth rinsed, she turned for the tent, but stopped before she went inside. “Jenner?”
“Yeah?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“You’ve done nothing wrong, woman.”
“Are you going to stay out here all night?”
“I have to keep you safe.”
“But—”
“You don’t understand, Lena. I have to.”
“You always sleep in the rough to protect clients?” He was making no sense. It was raining and chilly, and he could get sick staying out all night in this weather when they had a perfectly dry tent right here.
“You’re more than a client now,” he said quietly, his eyes troubled.
“Okay.” She shifted her weight side to side, stalling. After what they’d done by the creek, she didn’t want to say goodnight right now. “Jenner, can you just lay by me for a little while then?”
The steely look in his eyes softened, and he nodded his chin once. “Just until you fall asleep.”
A small victory, but a victory all the same. She hid her triumphant smile as he followed her inside. He lay down and held his arm out for her to cuddle against his side, and damn her emotions, the gesture almost made her want to cry again. Jenner was hard. Iron-tough and cold to others. She’d seen it when they’d been at the lodge. He could joke with the other guides, but from a distance. With her, he was letting her in little by little. He was exposing his softer side to her, and if that didn’t prove he was growing to trust her, she didn’t know what did.
She rested her cheek against his warm chest and traced the crisscrossing scars across his ribs. Quietly, so as not to spoil the magic of this intimacy, she said, “You said I would like you less when I found out the reason behind these, but I like you more.” I love you, actually. She left those words unspoken, though, because she hadn’t said them to a man before, and Jenner seemed the type to run from something that serious this soon. She would be patient and hope that his feelings caught up with hers someday.
His heartbeat was steady and strong under her cheek, and his lips pressed against the top of her hair, lingering there while he pulled another unzipped sleeping bag over them. He turned off the lantern, and the soft rain pitter pattered against the nylon of the tent.
In the dark, Lena curled against him and let the warmth Jenner provided slip over her. She fought to keep her eyes open for a little while longer because this was another moment. Another gift added to the many he’d given her today.
“Jenner,” she said sleepily.
“Hmm?” he rumbled in that sexy, deep timbre of his.
“I’m glad you were my first.”
And as she drifted off, warm and safe against him, she could’ve sworn he whispered, “So am I.”
Chapter Eight
Jenner resisted the urge to look back at Lena for the billionth time since they’d left Wolf Camp this morning. The deeper they got into brown bear country, the more he had to fight the instinct to turn around and take her back to the lodge where she would be safe. Because out here in this brutal wilderness, he wasn’t the only monster anymore.
Behind him, Lena was clicking away on her camera, and for as wary as he was of taking his mate deep into bear country, he looked around and tried to see what she saw.
This land had always called to him, but she’d shown him a couple of pictures she’d taken this morning while he’d been packing up camp, and he’d been stunned into silence as he’d cradled the camera and looked at the images she’d captured. The splintered railing of the corral had been at the forefront in one of the photographs, and behind it, the packhorses were resting with their noses beside each other. She’d discovered this moment of incredible serenity while he’d been rushing around trying to prepare for the rest of their trip. Lena saw the world differently. She found moments that he would’ve just walked by and never noticed. He didn’t have a creative bone in his body, but Lena had the uncanny ability to find beauty in the mundane. The proof of that was the way she looked at his body, as if he was some priceless artwork instead of a slashed-up man.
The smell of fur brushed his oversensitive nose, and he inhaled deeply, jerking his attention to the woods where it came from. They were close now, in the thick of the brown bears. A couple of miles more, and they would be to the river.
An overwhelming need to protect Lena washed over him again. His instincts had kicked up the second he’d decided to have sex with her. He’d been mistaken that it took the act of sex to bind them because just the conscious decision to sleep with her made his bear draw up and snarl his possessiveness. Mine, mine, mine. The smell of grizzly fur grew more pungent on the wind. Unable to keep his distance any longer, Jenner pulled his horse around at a trot, circling back until he was next to Lena’s mount.
Her smile was bright and instant, settling his territorial bear with nothing more than a look. “Hey you.” She lifted the camera under her chin and clicked a picture.
Jenner narrowed his eyes, but she looked so damned happy as she laughed, he couldn’t bring himself to reprimand her this time. “I’m going to pull out my own camera and give you a taste of your own medicine if you aren’t careful.”
“You have a camera?”
“Lennard makes us all take one out in case we can get pictures for the website.” He opened the flap of one of his saddle bags and dug to the bottom, then pulled out a small, black digital camera. Jenner turned it on and clicked her picture, only Lena didn’t shy away from the camera like him. Instead, she posed all cute in the saddle and gave him one of those boner-inducing smiles she’d been gifting him all morning. And in that instant, he knew he wouldn’t be showing Lennard any of the pictures from this trip. He chuckled and leaned over his saddle, guiding his horse closer. Cupping her cheek, he kissed her, brushing his tongue against hers once before the gait of their horses became disjointed and pulled them away from each other.
Lena clicked another picture of him.
Out of curiosity, he asked, “Why do you do that?”
“I do it when I like the way your face looks. You are a quiet man, a reserved man, and you have this ability to hold your face frozen when you don’t want people seeing what you are thinking. But I can tell. It’s in your eyes. I like the way you look right after you kiss me.”
Dangerous, observant woman. Lena would guess what he was long before he was ready to tell her. The idea of her looking at him in disgust made his bear want to claw out of his skin, so Jenner cleared his throat and blinked hard to stifle the stabbing pain in his middle.
“Are you okay?” Lena asked, worry tainting her words.
“I’m fine. Listen, about the bears. We’re close to the river, which means we have to be wary out here. We won’t be talking as much, and no playing around until I have us somewhere safer to camp tonight, okay?”
Her pretty honey-brown eyes had gone round and serious, and for the first time since he’d met her, she gave off the faint smell of fear. “Okay.”
“Lena, I won’t let anything happen to you, do you hear me? There is no need to be scared. I’m here.” Alw
ays.
She nodded, pursing her lips, and he wanted to kiss them soft again. Wanted to make her feel safe again, but she should be nervous. She needed to keep her wits about her and be wary about their surroundings as much as he was.
“When we’re out there, the bears will likely be so engrossed with the salmon run, they won’t pester us, but some get curious. It depends on the cast of bears in this territory. If they get too close, you do exactly what I say.”
“Will you know some of the bears?”
He drew up straight in the saddle as if he’d been electrocuted. Had she already guessed what he was? “What?”
“Have you seen these bears before when you’ve been scouting?”
“Oh.” His shoulders relaxed, and he huffed a relieved breath. “Yeah, I’ll likely know most of them. But I’m serious, Lena. These aren’t like black bears. If I tell you to do something, it’s not up for discussion. You just do it, okay?”
“I will.” She swallowed audibly. “I trust you.”
Jenner had stared at her lips as she’d said those three words. I trust you. Her instincts really were broken then, but he couldn’t get himself to tell her how wrong she was to give her trust to an animal like him. Selfishly, he wanted to revel in this moment because it was the first time anyone in his life had said that to him.
“You want to take me in those woods and do dirty things to me, don’t you?” she asked, her soft brown eyes sparking with challenge.
“Woman, believe me when I say you don’t want me covering you right now. You’ll be sore from last night, and I won’t be easy today. Don’t tempt me, minx.” Jenner kicked his horse and pulled in front of Gunner again.
Oh, he wanted her bad. Couldn’t think about much else other than pinning her against a tree and claiming her completely. He wanted her from behind, a fresh bite mark from his teeth on her shoulder. If she knew about his dark needs, she wouldn’t be teasing him.
Right now, he needed to focus on something other than claiming her body, though, and that was keeping her safe. Lena had become precious to him. Last night he’d slept the entire night with her, even though he’d only meant to let her fall asleep next to him. That shit couldn’t happen again. She was clouding his judgement. He should’ve been out in the open, listening for danger all night, not letting the rain against the tent muddle his senses.
Did he want to take her in the woods and make her scream his name? Hell yeah, now more than ever. She was his. His Lena, his mate, and that faint scent of brown bear had him feeling desperate for the first time in his life. His insides were churning with something he didn’t quite understand, and as he looked back at her, something slowly clicked into place.
For the first time ever, he was afraid.
He was afraid that he wouldn’t be enough to keep her safe out here.
Ripping his gaze away from the fear in her eyes, fury flooded his veins. His inner monster pulsed within him, angry at this moment of weakness. He was beast, and none of these grizzlies out here had anything on him. With his life, he would protect Lena.
Fuck being afraid. He would keep her safe.
He had to.
She was his mate to protect now.
Chapter Nine
Lena had never felt as exposed as she did now, hiking beside Jenner through an open field. There was a grizzly eating vegetation to their left, but it was too far away to get a proper picture. And besides, that one didn’t seem to be the one Jenner was hunting.
He gave the bear a slit-eyed glance, then inhaled deeply and led them toward the river, adjusting the strap of his rifle as he walked with long, deliberate strides beside her.
If Jenner was nervous, she couldn’t tell. She, on the other hand, was shaking so badly that it was hard to walk in a straight line.
“You smell like fear, Lena. Cut that shit out. I’ve got you.”
Like she could control it. Lena sniffed her shoulder but didn’t smell anything other than the natural, eco-friendly body wash she’d used in the creek last night. She smelled like earth and pine sap, not terror. With a frown at Jenner, she wondered just how long he’d spent out in nature to take on such animalistic senses. She spent most of her time out of doors, and she didn’t have the knack for finding animals based on a heightened sense of smell. He barely even looked for scat on the ground when he was tracking like she’d seen other guides do.
A large chocolate-colored bear climbed over the ridge of the river bank directly in front of them, less than a hundred yards away, and Lena jerked to a stop, heart pounding in her chest and breath frozen in her lungs. When it saw them, it hunched down, startled, then sauntered slowly toward them, eyes suspicious, ears alert. Bucks and Backwoods had sent her to grizzly behavior class, but all her training went right out the window when she saw how big they were in real life. The bear’s bottom lip was relaxed, giving her the perfect view of the long canines, and with every step toward them, it gave a glimpse of six-inch black claws.
“Take your pictures, woman,” Jenner murmured. To the bear, he said in a loud, confident voice, “Go around. No, go around!” He gestured smoothly to the bear, and for some reason, the animal actually altered its course.
Lena lifted her camera carefully and began to shoot the animal, one click after the other, sure that at any moment, it would charge and they would both be made into bear poop.
Slowly, eyes ever on them, the animal made its way in a long arch around, then disappeared into the woods they’d come from.
“Holy shit,” she said on a breath. She reviewed the last couple of pictures and looked up in shock at Jenner. “I got him.”
“Yeah, well, that him was a her, and she was a young bear, easily manipulated.” Jenner grabbed Lena’s hand and pulled her forward toward the river. “That was just the beginning.”
As he led her to the edge of a small, grassy ledge that snaked parallel to the river bank, Lena’s mouth dropped open and her eyes went so wide they ached. Jenner had been right about that bear being young. Lena had thought it massive, but it was a miniature compared to the five bruins in front of them, standing on a short waterfall and fishing in the river, waiting for salmon to jump.
And now even she could smell her fear.
Jenner’s hand, big and strong, gripped the back of her neck, and his lips pressed onto hers. She froze, shocked, then leaned forward and kissed him back. Jenner eased off and rested his forehead against hers. “Lena, you have to keep calm or I won’t be able to… You’re making me feel like I need to defend you, and it’s dangerous to be around them in that kind of mind-set. Keep your cool, breathe. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” He straightened up and let off a sharp sigh, but his eyes looked strange. They were darker, and now she remembered how they’d changed color last night, too. They looked browner than blue, and this time, she couldn’t blame it on a lightning storm behind him.
“Your eyes,” she said on a breath, reaching for his cheek to touch just under the morphing color.
Jenner’s dark eyebrow quirked up, and he grabbed her wrist so fast, he blurred. Canting his head and offering her a warning glance, he murmured low, “Not now. Take your pictures so I can get you back to camp.” In one piece.
She narrowed her eyes as he gave her his back and crouched down, scanning the river and beyond. Until camp then, but they would definitely talk about his mood-ring eyes later.
At least Jenner had been a beautiful distraction. As she set up her tripod a few feet from the grassy ledge, some of her fear dissipated. And as the bears seemed to notice their presence one by one and immediately returned their interest back to fishing rather than chomping on her bones, Lena’s anxiety evaporated even more.
Or maybe she was in shock. This all felt surreal as she clicked her camera into place on the tripod and adjusted the shutter speed to compensate for the clouds that had drifted back over the sun. Cloudy days were her favorite because it was like having the magic hours all day.
Exhaling a shaky breath, she began taking
pictures of the river bears. And as the afternoon wore on, and the hours ticked by, she relaxed into a false sense of safety as she saw the world through the lens. It was an excellent coping mechanism since it distanced her from the monster grizzlies that were so close. A few long, charging strides and they could be on her, but here, looking through the lens of her camera, Lena could pretend she was at the zoo, taking pictures of caged animals like when she was a kid. Only here, Jenner was the cage.
After taking a shot of one of the brown bears standing atop the shallow waterfall catching a jumping salmon in mid-air, she grinned at Jenner and showed it to him.
“Money shot,” she whispered. The bear was massive with a muscular hump between its mature shoulders, frozen on her camera, water drops streaming from the tail of the fish as it sailed through the air and straight toward the grizzly’s open jaws.
Jenner scrolled through a couple more, a vacant smile on his lips until suddenly he jerked to a stop and lifted his gaze back to the river. “Shit,” he muttered. “Let’s go.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Titus is king here, and I’m not up for a brawl with him,” Jenner said low as he shouldered her backpack.
Lena looked across to the other side of a river where an enormous brown bear was lumbering toward the fishing grounds, head low. The two bears nearest him, both puny in size comparatively, scattered when they saw him. As he approached the bank, it became clear he was a fighter because his face was scarred and one of his ears was missing. His neck was nearly bald of fur from all the scars in that area. Shit indeed.
Heart hammering, Lena picked up her tripod and backed away slowly. Jenner’s hand was on the back of her neck, pushing her low as they moved away. Now, some of the bears Titus had intimidated off the river were headed their way, and Jenner muttered another curse as he pulled the rifle off his shoulder and slid a bullet into the chamber with the distinct crack of metal on metal. “Don’t stop moving. Slow and steady and don’t give any of them your back.”