“No, I’m ready.”
She looked at me and made a face.
I walked down to her. “What’s up?”
“That table of fifteen. It’s a table full of women on the island for a bachelorette party. You know that they’re going to get hammered, fuck up their table, and forget to tip.”
I winced. Bachelorette parties were notorious for being nothing but trouble for the waitresses. I felt for Sarah. “I’ll share tips with you. Don’t worry about that part.”
She pouted. “You’re the best, but you don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not a problem. Come on. We’ll start them off with a complimentary jello shot and maybe they’ll be warmed up to you enough to remember to tip.” I reached under the bar for the shots I’d made earlier in the day. Pulling a stack from the fridge, I slipped them onto Sarah’s tray and winked. “No one needs to know that they’re mostly jello.”
She laughed and squeezed my hand before scooting away. I heard their rambunctious cheers just a few moments later. I hoped that they’d be a good group for her if they felt like she was being really cool to them.
When she came back a few minutes later with their drink orders, I just put my head down and got to work. Fifteen mojitos later, I was annoyed with muddling fresh mint and starting to get behind on the orders of the customers sitting at the bar, but I worked hard to get caught up.
Not even two minutes later, Sarah came back with one of the mojitos, frowning. “One of them doesn’t like it.”
I stiffened, but made another. When she came back right away, I frowned. “What is her deal? It’s a mojito. What exactly is she looking for?”
Sarah looked worried. “She said she’d prefer it wasn’t you who made her drink.”
I felt my eyebrows try to crawl off of my forehead. “Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry, Heidi. I think we’re going to need to get Mimi out here. She’s causing a fuss…because of you know what.”
My stomach sank and embarrassment rose. I kept my face expressionless, though. I wasn’t going to show that it got to me. “Think I should just go talk to her?”
Sarah shook her head. “No, I don’t think this is one of those situations that can be made better. I think she was a huge Callie super fan.”
I tipped my head back and stared up at the ceiling of the bar. Toothpicks with little ribbons of color had been shot into the tiles up there over the years and it was hard to find a spot of ceiling that wasn’t dotted with color. My past was colorful as well, to say the least. The fact that it’d been almost eight years and I was still getting negative reactions was insane, though. The whole thing should have been long forgotten by now. It certainly wasn’t, though. Not by some people.
“Okay. Call Mimi up front. Have her make the damned mojito. I’ll take care of the rest of them, if that’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, Heidi.”
I shrugged and focused on the patrons at the bar. I poured drinks and took care of them as fast as I could while still plastering a smile on my face. It wasn’t easy.
Hours passed and as the bar thinned out, the bachelorette party remained. They’d had plenty to drink and eat, but didn’t look as though they planned to move their party elsewhere. Mimi was still interrupting her paper work in the back office to come up front and make the brat’s drinks, since the woman was adamant that I not taint anything of hers with my unholy touch. Mimi should’ve been able to leave earlier in the night, and let Sarah and me close, but she stayed because of the brat.
I was discouraged and angry, but there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to take it. I wasn’t going to chance making Mimi or her bar look bad. Mimi’s Cabana was a Polynesian themed tiki bar that Mimi herself had opened almost twenty years ago. I was going to smile and carry on like nothing bothered me. Just ignore the hater.
That had been the plan, anyway, except the brat got emboldened by her Mimi-made mojitos and approached the bar. My smile was brittle and I wanted to excuse myself, but that never shut people up. The best thing, or so I’d discovered, was to face the hate head on and simply smile through it.
Brat floated over to me immersed in a cloud of Chanel, alcohol, and cigarette smoke. Her blonde hair was spiral curled and her eyes were smoked out perfectly. She was beautiful, all except the dark scowl on her face. “I know who you are.”
I winced at the way she said it. It wasn’t just a statement; it was an accusation. I held my smile firmly in place and rested my hands on the bar. I noticed that my nails were chipped beyond belief and pulled them back to my sides. “Heidi Garcia.”
She scowled harder, her lip tucked up into a sneer Elvis would’ve been proud of. “Homewrecking Heidi. The Cuban slut of the decade, Heidi.”
I shrugged it off. “If you’re dead set on believing everything you see on TV, that’s your problem. The bar is closing in half an hour. Do you need anything before it does?”
“Not from the likes of you. Who knows where your hands have been?” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and shook her head. “How you even show your face in public is beyond me.”
4
Alexei
The sun was just breaching the horizon when I slipped into the ocean that morning. It was earlier than I normally went for a swim, but I’d had a restless night after disposing of the asshole who’d been preying on women around the Keys. My animal never felt guilty for what the job sometimes entailed. To him, it was clear cut. But it just sat a little heavier with my human side.
The water was cooler than normal and I took my time gliding through it, letting it wash my cares away. I swam out farther than I normally had time to and watched as a cruise ship powered by. Cruise ships didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I didn’t get the idea of locking yourself away in a small room, or set of rooms and calling it a vacation. Why go out onto the ocean for that? You could do that on land. I’d rather just swim in the water, like I was.
When the sun was cresting over the houses on the east side of the island, I swam closer to shore and floated on my back. The waves rocked me soothingly and I considered taking a nap. My bear loved naps. As I was contemplating it, a scent wafted through the air around me and captured my attention fully.
I looked around for the source and spotted an unfamiliar woman on the pier. She was too far for me to make out much about her, but I could smell her just fine. The wind was carrying her delicious aroma directly to me. She scented of vanilla and something sweet and sugary that reminded me of freshly glazed donuts, my absolute weakness. Completely entranced, I swam closer.
The woman sat on the end of the pier, facing the ocean, a fishing pole in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other. Her tall, statuesque body, from what I could tell, was a work of art, curving out and dipping in and so many fun places. In short cut off denim shorts and a cut off t-shirt, she was incredible. Her bare toes were painted a bright blue and my tongue lolled out, wanting to lick every part of her.
The face of an angel, she stared out at the ocean pensively, her eyes narrowed in concentration. I wondered what she was thinking.
Her line caught and she jumped into action, reeling in whatever was tugging on the end of it. She fought hard but after about a minute of wrestling with it, the line snapped and she fell back on her ass. Instead of cursing or getting angry, she knelt and patiently repaired her broken line and then cast it again. Her face remained serene the entire time, like she couldn’t possibly have been doing anything more relaxing.
I wanted to sit on the pier with her. I swam closer, my bear drawn magnetically to her. There was something about her that just called to the both of us.
When I was close enough to see the bright green of her eyes, I bobbed in the water under the pier, wondering what I should do next. I wanted to interact with her. My bear wanted to play. I contemplated for a few more minutes and then swam out from under the pier. Looking up at her, waiting for her to see me, I chuffed in annoyance when she didn’t.
She was so focused on whatever
thoughts were buzzing around her head, she didn’t notice me. I chuffed again and splashed a little water at her feet. Still nothing. I was a huge fucking polar bear in a tropical setting and she wasn’t noticing me. What the hell?
Feeling more determined, I splashed a little harder. When that didn’t work, I grabbed her fishing line and yanked on it.
She snapped to attention and looked down, her hand already reeling in the line. Her eyes moved right past me at first. I was about to become highly offended when they snapped back to me with a laser focus, and she let out a squeal that just about popped my eardrums. Stumbling backwards, she fell on her ass again and crab walked nearly halfway back up the pier, towards land.
I took her forgotten pole into my mouth and swam towards her. I hadn’t meant to scare her. My bad. I should’ve thought through how anyone might react to seeing a big ass polar bear in the water next to them. We didn’t exactly have a reputation for being gentle and cuddly.
I pawed at the water and tried to grin at her, but it must’ve looked more like a snarl because she blanched and yanked herself up by the wooden post between us. She stared down at me, those green eyes wide with fear. Her mouth worked up and down. Her pink tongue slipped out to wet her lips, and then vanished into her mouth again.
Just that flash of tongue sent a rocket of heat pulsing through me that rivaled even the hottest Florida sunshine. I wanted to climb the pier and beg her to do it again. As a man. The bear would have to kick rocks for a while.
She leaned over the railing and blinked. “You can’t be real.”
I chuffed and splashed her with a swipe of my paw. Her shorts grew darker and I watched droplets of water roll down her long, tan legs. I was real, alright.
Her hands went to her hips and she narrowed her eyes at me. “Okay, so maybe you are real.”
I chuffed louder and splashed her again. I was having fun. I also selfishly wanted the t-shirt she was wearing to cling a little more tightly to her curves.
She slowly moved towards the beach a few steps and paused when I followed her. “Please don’t eat me,” she whispered. “I promise I won’t taste good.”
I flashed her my teeth again because I was pretty sure she’d taste delicious—better than anything I’d ever tasted before in my life.
She walked a little faster towards the beach and then broke into an outright run when she saw I was still following her. She was fast, but I was much faster. I got to the beach before her and tore across the sand so I could meet her at the mouth of the pier.
Panting, she froze when she saw that I was blocking her path. She looked scared, but the set of her jaw spoke of a stubborn resolve. I worried about that, because it looked like she was willing to go head to head with a polar bear. This particular situation aside, that would be very unwise. “You are not going to eat me, big fella. Do you hear me? I’ve got shit to do today.”
I didn’t want to scare her. My bear balked at the idea. He flopped down in front of her, rolled onto his back, and looked up at her like some docile puppy. I was nearly a thousand pound animal, but it seemed that I was putty in her hands. I spit her pole out at her feet and gave her my best “sweet and innocent” look.
“What the hell was my coffee spiked with?” She rubbed at her eyes and shook her head. When she looked at me again, she took a deep breath and reached a shaking hand out to touch me. Her fingers brushed my fur and she yelped again.
I sat up and gave her a look that I hoped implied that I didn’t love her screaming at me, but that I wouldn’t hurt her.
She held up her hands and let out a shaky laugh. “Sorry, sorry. I wasn’t sure you were real. You are, though. You’re very much real. Jesus H Christ. What is a polar bear doing in the waters off the Florida Keys? What are you doing here, big guy?”
She smelled better up close. I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into her and nuzzling my head into her chest. She was silky soft. My nose ended up caught in the heavenly valley between her breasts. I sniffed her again and again, trying to imprint that delicious aroma on my brain.
She stood frozen, her hands held out to the sides of me in obvious fear. When I moved and rubbed my head against her hand, she let out another squeak and jostled backwards. I was desperate for her to touch me at that point, so I followed and rubbed against her again.
“Please don’t eat me. Please.” She muttered the words before turning her hand over and lightly resting it on my head.
Heaven.
5
Heidi
I was touching a polar bear. There was a real, live polar bear right here in Sunkissed Key and I was touching it and I was probably going to die a gruesome death as its morning snack. My fear subsided ever so slightly as the giant animal blinked and rubbed its muzzle against me. It was heavy and the weight of it knocked me back a step. Every time I moved, it followed, though. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or laugh. I had to be dreaming.
It buried its nose between my breasts again and huffed. It seemed to like putting its nose there, but I was terrified it was going to bite off something that I couldn’t easily replace.
“Please be careful. I want to keep both of those.”
The giant bear chuffed at me, a noise that sounded oddly like a chuckle, and then lifted its head and ran its large, black tongue over my face. I stepped back, shocked by the gesture.
It sat back on its haunches again and seemed to smile at me. It even lifted its hand in what looked to be a wave. I just stared. I couldn’t be seeing what I thought I was seeing. No way.
When it waved again, it smiled even larger and then chuffed again. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought it was laughing at me.
I looked around, waiting on someone to pop out and yell, “Surprise,” or, “You just got punked,” or “You’re on Candid Camera.” Only, no one did. It was early in the morning, the sun had barely risen, and the beach was deserted. The sound of seagulls was the only thing that could be heard, other than my heavy breathing and the polar bear’s, uh, laughter…?
“What the actual fuck?” I rubbed at my eyes, but quickly had to drop my hands again to keep from falling over as the giant animal bumped its nose into my stomach. “This isn’t real. This can’t be real. Polar bears don’t live on Sunkissed Key. Polar bears don’t swim up to the beach and rub up against people.”
He sat up again and, I swear to god, blew me a kiss.
“Okay, now I know my coffee was spiked with a hallucinogen.” I moved in closer, feeling emboldened by the idea that it was probably just a big dog—a Great Pyrenees, maybe. Or, it was a wealthy woman in a white fur coat. Although, why wouldn’t someone wear a fur coat on the beach? Wait, no, don’t ask that. No trying to make rationalizations while your brain is on LSD, Heidi.
I ran my fingers over its chest, and they got lost in its thick fur. I surreptitiously searched for a seam because maybe it was a costume, and—
“Eek!” I was suddenly plastered against the bear’s stomach as it wrapped its massive paws around me.
Holy shit! Struggling to get my footing back, I ran my hands up to its face, assuming I’d be able to remove the mask. What I found instead were the sharpest set of teeth I’d ever felt. A wet mouth, sharp teeth, and a wide tongue that was rough as it stroked itself over my hand. The tip of one of those teeth pricked my finger and I gasped before yanking my hand away.
Real polar bear. I was in the arms of a real fucking polar bear. I froze in fear, thinking I was about to die. No matter what happened next, I was a dead woman. I could feel the massive paws of the thing trapping me against it, its body heat scalding me, and the weight of it as it rested its chin on the top of my head. I wanted to scream, but I didn’t think it would help anything, besides, it might rile the creature and hasten my demise.
It was too late for me.
I was a goner.
“D-do you think you can make it quick?” I buried my fingers in its fur and turned my head so I wasn’t being suffocated. My cheek was pressed against its chest, it
s growling vibrating me. “Please, kill me fast. I don’t want it to be like those nature shows, where you eat my leg and I live for another two days until you come back to gnaw on my arms. Just…go for the head first, okay?”
The thing chuffed again and then released me. It looked down at me and I swear it rolled its eyes. Then, it went down on all fours and started rubbing against me again.
“So…does this mean you’re not gonna eat me, then?”
Its tongue came out and stroked over my stomach. Then, the tip of its nose dug under my shirt and I had to step away and push my shirt down to keep from being exposed.
If I didn’t know better, I would’ve said that bear had been around too many human men in its life. It seemed…tame, though. It didn’t seem to want to hurt me. The whole thing just got weirder and weirder.
Like a lightbulb, I suddenly remembered the animal sanctuary on the island. The Sunkissed Wildlife Sanctuary was a tourist attraction for the island. The man who ran the place took in animals that had been retired from Hollywood, or traveling circuses. I’d never been, because the idea of it made me sad for the poor animals, but evidently my polar bear was from there. Mr. (Leon) Zoo, a surname legalized through a “Florida Petition for Change of Name” form and a filing fee, ran the place. I’d bet money he was probably frantically searching one large, displaced polar bear.
“You’re from the animal sanctuary, aren’t you, big fella?” Knowing the animal was probably retired from some weird circus made me feel slightly better. He was probably old and lost, but used to humans. That was why he hadn’t eaten me. Yet. “You want to go back home? I’m sure Mr. Zoo is missing you right now. He probably hates the thought of having to send out a missing polar bear alert to the local authorities.”
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