Someone obliged and as the music got louder there was chanting and clapping as well as a few hoots and hollers. I ignored the hands waving dollar bills in the air. With plenty of eyes on me and nothing to do but entertain, I did just that. I moved to the music as best as I could, but I was a fucking bear shifter. Dancing wasn’t in my DNA.
“Don’t avert your eyes, Heidi. This is all for you!” I swung my hips and accidentally kicked someone’s beer off the bar. “Sorry, man.”
Heidi looked up at me, her hands cupped on either side of her face, like she wasn’t sure what to do. “Get down! You’re going to get kicked out!”
I unbuttoned a few more buttons. “What did you say? You want to see more skin?! Why, Heidi! I’m shocked!”
She shook her head and turned her back to me. “I’m not watching this!”
I unbuttoned the rest of the shirt and laughed when she looked over her shoulder and through her fingers at me before turning away again. “I’m not stopping until you smile.”
She swung around and flashed her teeth at me. “There. Now, get down.”
“Oh, but that wasn’t a genuine smile. Nice try, though. I guess I’ll just have to lose the pants.”
She turned to face me, a real smile twisting her lips. “You’re such an idiot.”
I grinned back at her. “And you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
“Come down from there.”
I hopped off, onto her side of the bar, and smiled down at her. I was probably standing too close, pushing too hard. “You’re beautiful.”
“You’re crazy.” She hesitated, looked around, and then met my eyes. “Sometimes, you have to let people feel how they feel. Even if it isn’t what you want.”
I bit my lip and took a step back. “You’re right. I apologize.”
She shocked me by stepping into my space. “This wasn’t one of those times.”
“Heidi…”
She took my hand and stepped around me, pulling me after her. Through a swinging door, away from the bar, down a hallway, and into a small room with a desk and a chair that was missing a wheel. She pushed me until my back hit the wall behind me and then she moved closer, until she was a breath away.
I grabbed her waist and pulled her the rest of the way into my body. She fit just right against me, her curves soft and tempting. I stared down into her eyes, looking for any sign that she was opposed to what we were doing. There was nothing but fevered heat staring back at me, though.
I don’t know who kissed who first. We both moved and then our mouths were sliding together and her taste was exploding on my mouth like a professional firework show. Her mouth was soft and hungry against mine. Her hands were on my face, holding me while our tongues entwined.
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her tighter against me, and kissed her deeper. She even tasted sugary sweet. I moaned when she took my bottom lip between her teeth and nipped.
The kiss was intense and powerful. The only thing I was sure of in that moment was wanting more of her. Her fingers ran through my hair, grasping it, pulling me closer. I slipped my hands down over her ass and easily lifted her up against my body. Her thighs locked around my waist so our bodies pressed up flush against one another from shoulders to hips.
Her ass was firm in my hands, the rounded cheeks filling my palms perfectly. When I flexed my fingers, squeezing, her kiss grew wilder, and she moaned into my mouth.
I ran a hand up her back and gripped the back of her neck, holding her steady and moving us over until she was laid out on the desk and I was standing between her thighs. She opened her legs wider and I gripped them harder than I had to, but I had never been so turned on. Her skin was soft and silky, and it drove me insane. All of her drove me insane. I wanted to touch and taste every inch of her a million times over.
Heidi dragged my mouth back to hers, and I closed the gap that her thighs had made for me, feeling her heat through my jeans as I rocked my erection against her.
Her nails dug into my shoulders and she locked her ankles behind my lower back. Her mouth open, breathing heavily, she met my eyes with a half-lidded, needy gaze.
Holding eye contact, watching every nuance of her expression, I rocked my hips into her again and again until I knew the rhythm she wanted. Then, I gripped the back of her neck once more and held onto her hip with my free hand and rolled my hips against her while pressing my forehead to hers and breathing through gritted teeth.
Heidi in the throes of passion was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen. She wanted me. Her body was desperate for me. And the sentiment was mutual—I wanted her just as badly.
Heidi held onto me tighter as her small moans became higher pitched and breathier. Suddenly, she clenched her thighs tighter around me and her nails dug into my back. Her neck tensed under my hand and her body arched into me like a longbow. Her head dropped to my shoulder and her teeth clamped down on my shoulder as a muffled cry sounded.
As I felt her orgasm rock through her, I gripped her tighter, feeling my own release too close. I wasn’t about to come in my pants and embarrass myself like a teenager. I squeezed my eyes shut and inhaled deeply. The scent of my mate’s arousal was one I never wanted to forget.
“Hey, Hei—” A woman’s voice abruptly cut off and a giggle followed. “Sorry! Never mind! Didn’t see a thing!”
Heidi pulled back and covered her face with her hands. “Shit.”
I pulled her hands away and kissed her, feeling her shiver against me. “I’m not done with you.”
17
Heidi
I slept better that night than I had since meeting Alexei. I felt like all the tension in my body had drained away and I was finally feeling at ease. At least, my body was. My brain was in a bit of a tailspin, but it wasn’t enough to keep me up.
I got to the beach bright and early that next morning, fishing pole in one hand, tackle box in the other. I hadn’t had my usual fresh fish dinner in a few days and I wanted some kind of normalcy back in my life. I’d already caught my dinner by the time Houdini showed up.
I should have been pissed at Mr. Zoo for being so goddamned lax that an almost 900 pound bear was able to repeatedly slip out of his supposedly secure sanctuary. But I was too excited to see my bear to be angry. I hurried down to the beach and he knocked me back on my ass in the sand and then covered my face in sloppy kisses. I laughed and gently pushed his huge face away. It went on like that for a few minutes. He was so excited to see me that he rubbed against me until he settled down beside me. Then, I wrapped my arm around him, as much as I could, and I leaned into him.
I talked to him more than I talked to anyone else. It was super weird, but there wasn’t much about the entire situation that wasn’t crazy, so why not just go for it? He listened. That was the kicker. The damn polar bear listened better than a best friend. He watched me as I spoke and seemed to reply with his little sounds when appropriate. I should’ve been more worried that I’d lost mind, probably.
That morning, I told him all about Alexei. I told him about the mean woman and then Alexei doing everything he could to cheer me up, including dancing on the bar and pretending he was going to strip. I couldn’t remember anyone ever trying so hard for me—or caring like that. Finally, I told him about kissing Alexei. The kissing that had turned quickly to dry humping and then an earth-shaker of an orgasm. I left the orgasm part out, slightly red faced as I thought about it.
“And then Sarah walked in on us. Of course, she was like a dog with a bone during closing. She wanted to know everything.” I sighed. “There’s nothing to know, though. I don’t know anything about Alexei. I mean, I know that he’s funny and hot, and I know that he seems like a nice guy. I don’t know anything else, though.”
I grinned when Houdini put his big paw on my back and patted me. The things he’d learned in whatever circus he’d been rescued from were amazing. It was almost like sitting next to a person the way he responded and interacted.
“Thanks.” I reac
hed up to scratch his ear. “I’m just freaked out, I guess. I’ve been alone for so long that I’ve gotten used to it being that way. It’s not easy to learn to trust someone. I don’t know his motives. I don’t know anything. And who’s to say he won’t be like every other man. It’s not easy to have random people pop up and proclaim that the woman you’re dating is a slut. It doesn’t matter that I’m not. It can get to a person over time. Especially a man.
“I don’t know if I have it in me to open myself up to more pain. And Alexei would be a hard man to not miss if he ran.”
I hugged my knees and watched as a seagull landed close by, spotted Houdini, and then freaked out before flying off. Houdini huffed next to me and got to his feet. He paced back and forth in front of me, his head raising to let out little growls every so often. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said it looked like he was trying to lecture me.
“It looks like we’re both stuck in our feelings this morning.”
He looked at me and actually rolled his eyes. Then, like he was tired of me, he strolled away, towards the sanctuary.
“Hey!” I got up and hurried after him. “What are you doing?”
He just trotted along until he got to the wildlife sanctuary’s back gate and then he used his head to crudely knock on it himself. I just stood there, mouth open, and watched as he disappeared inside the gate and it shut in my face.
I stood there for a few seconds, unsure of what had just happened. Well, it did make sense in a way that he’d know his way back. And maybe he was hungry or something. Or maybe he was sick of hearing me complain about my complicated love life.
I strolled slowly back to the beach to get my fishing gear. I was still lost in my thoughts when the sound of footsteps approaching dragged me back to the present. I looked up and spotted Alexei jogging towards me. My mouth dropped open.
He was in nothing but a pair of low slung swim trunks, and holy mother of god, his hair was wet and wild; his body dripped water as he advanced. Muscles flexed and worked as he ran, all of them jaw-dropping.
“Close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.” He grinned and stopped in my space. He cupped my face and leaned down. His eyes flicked to my mouth and then back up. “Hi.”
I swallowed, my brain needed the second of time to try to catch up. “You’re wet.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I am.”
“You don’t have many clothes on.”
“Want to even the playing field?”
I rolled my eyes and stepped back, his joke giving me the chance to snap back to myself. “You’re a smartass.”
“And you’re a goddess. Let me take you to breakfast?”
“I have work. Besides you’re nearly naked. I know the dress code is pretty lax around the island, but what you’re wearing—or not wearing—might be pushing it.”
“Lunch then. I’ll wear more clothes, promise.” He wagged his brows. “Though, are you sure you want me to?”
Laughing, I looked up at him, trying to see through the exterior to what he really wanted underneath. I was nervous. It was easy to forget reality when he was in front of me, but it was still there. I felt as though I liked him, despite not knowing him. It scared me to think about how I would feel if I got to know him and it turned out disastrously. What if I liked him too much and he wanted nothing else to do with me?
Like he could read my mind, he caught my hands in his and smiled gently. “Just lunch. We can talk, get to know each other. We’ll take a step back from last night. I’m good with that.”
I licked my lips, still nervous, but nodded. I couldn’t help it. I did want to know more. “Okay. I can meet you at one o’clock.”
“Bayfront Diner okay with you?”
I nodded. Looking up at him, I felt something so familiar in his eyes, the way he watched so patiently. Nodding my head, I backed away. “See you at one.”
He smiled and watched me go. “I could walk you home.”
“Don’t press your luck.”
He laughed. “See you at one.”
18
Alexei
Part of me felt guilty for using the things Heidi told me to get her to open up to me, but I had the best intentions. She was my mate and I wanted to be with her. I wanted her to learn that she could trust me. The end would justify the means.
She sat across from me at the diner, eyes cautious but curious as they flitted between me and the menu. She’d changed into another dress, a white one. The neckline was higher, but her shoulders were mostly bare and I found I was attracted by any skin she showed.
It must have been Kerrigan’s day off since Susie popped up next to us, her expression revealing her own curiosity. “Well, well. It’s been a minute since you’ve come by, Alexei.”
The older woman patted my hand and smiled. “I’ve been busy with work, or you know I’d stop in more often.”
She turned her eyes on Heidi. “And you, missy. You don’t come by nearly enough. I can see your house from the front window. Yet, you never stop in and say hello.”
“Oh, Susie, I’m sorry. I don’t eat out much anymore.” She grinned at the older woman. “Besides, you know I had an issue with your cooking. I couldn’t stop eating it. Pretty sure I gained ten pounds from your cinnamon rolls alone.”
Susie wagged her finger. “Well, it looks like you could use some. Put a little more meat on those bones.”
Heidi laughed, a full laugh that drew the attention of people around us. It was infectious. “That’s funny. You’re a real hoot.”
“Uh huh. Anyway. Sweet tea for both of you?” When we nodded, she walked off, just to come right back with a basket of cinnamon rolls. “Eat up.”
I grinned at Heidi and then laughed when she stared hungrily at the rolls. “I didn’t mean for you to have some kind of pastry crisis over lunch.”
She sighed heavily and met my eyes. “I love these things more than almost anything in the world. It’s a downward spiral, though.”
“I’m sure you were still stunning with ten pounds of pastry weight.”
“You have to say that. You’re trying to get into my pants.” She hesitated. “At least I think that’s what you’re trying to do.”
“Amongst other things.”
“What are the other things? Cue me in on the plan.”
I leaned into her and plucked out a roll. “You’d think I was crazy.”
“Try me.”
“I’m not looking for a hook up. Not anymore.” I took a bite of the roll and licked my lips. “I want more. In fact I’d like to see you with ten extra pounds of weight provided I was the one with you on all the dates where you ate enough to gain that much.”
Her eyes went wide and she sank back in the booth. “You’re not being serious.”
I nodded. “I am.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I know enough.” I shrugged. “Well, I don’t know enough. I want to know more. There’s a reason I keep showing up. I want to know you. I want you to know me.”
“I don’t date.”
“Because of the cinnamon roll thing?”
She laughed suddenly, her face lighting up and the worry lines around her eyes fading. “No, not because of that. Because of…other stuff.”
“A husband? Kids? You’re actually a serial killer and afraid a relationship might blow your cover?”
“You’re a smartass.” She was still smiling, though. “Mostly because of stuff like that what happened with that woman at Clotilde’s Creamery.”
“You don’t date because random psychos might come up and harass you? To be fair, I think having me next to you with a big snarl on my face would go a long way towards preventing those types of encounters. I do a mean growl, too.”
“Alexei—”
I snarled and let out a loud growl. When half the diners turned to stare, I crossed my eyes and made a crazy face at them. “See? No one would fuck with you with me next to you, looking like this.”
She laughed again and hid behin
d her menu. “You’re nuts, you know? You’re the strangest person.”
“I’m not the one with a pastry problem.” I leaned over the table and caught her hand. “I’m serious, though. I’m not into hooking up and running away. I’m not going anywhere, Heidi, not unless you really want me to.”
She looked away for a second, a serious look settling over her face. When she met my gaze again, her expression was determined. “I don’t date.”
“Fine. You win. We won’t date. We’ll hang out until you decide you want more.” I felt my body heat as she licked her lips. “We’ll have to discuss whether we’re doing a just friends or a friends with benefits thing though.”
Her cheeks burned. “You’re stubborn.”
“I like you. There’s something here and I’m not going to just turn away as though you aren’t worth fighting for.”
Susie came back over and took our orders, silently pushing the rolls closer to Heidi the whole time. By the time she left, the rolls were practically in Heidi’s lap.
“Why?”
I raised my eyebrows at Heidi. “Why what?”
“Why are you so interested in me?”
“Some things are bigger than us. Fate, for one.”
“And you think this is…” she gestured back and forth between us, “fate?”
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
19
Heidi
I was floating on a weird high that night at the bar. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything Alexei had said. He thought we were supposed to be together—like through the guiding hand of fate or something. That sentiment was strangely romantic for a man. I liked it. It still scared me a little to fall for him only to have my past turn out to be too much for him in the end. But, I kind of knew what he was saying. I had this strange feeling like we were connected, too. I felt something so familiar when I looked at him.
It made it hard not to want to throw out every conviction I had about remaining single. Alexei made me feel hopeful, like maybe things could be different. Hell, one afternoon spent with him and I was having trouble not imagining waking up next to him every day.
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