And that’s what we do. I savor the cherry-flavored liquor as it goes down smoothly and enjoy hanging out with my high school friend. Out on the makeshift dance floor, we sway our hips to the beats, positioning our cups just right to not spill our drinks. Other than knowing my brother and his friends will have to clean up, I don’t know why I care. The bottoms of my heels drag the sticky floor, indicating others weren’t so thoughtful.
And why am I thinking about clean floors at a party?
I curse myself and let go. Thirty minutes later, we take a break from dancing. Lexie is no longer dancing with Kyle. In fact, I never noticed them slip away. I’m laughing and feeling good about myself when we step toward the kitchen. One of Braxton’s teammates brushes past me. His elbow knocks into me causing me to lose my balance. I stumble forward and crash into the backside of a guy standing next to the couch.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, half laughing. That is, until I register who I run into. No, no, no. This can’t be real. Caleb isn’t supposed to be at one of my brother’s parties.
Chapter Seven
Shannon
The noise level drops a few decibels as every self-doubting emotion slam into me. I lock eyes with my ex-boyfriend Caleb and want to scream. The corner of his mouth draws up into that smirk I once found sexy and adorable. Now, I find the move repulsive. Caleb places his palms around my waist to balance me, but I bat his hands away. Not only do I not want him to touch me, but I’m quite capable of standing on my own two legs, thank you very much.
“Shannon.” In that low, husky voice, my name rolls off his tongue as if he owns it. As if I even want him to address me. Does the conceited jerk think I still pine for him after the way he ended things? I loathe him. A beat of silence ticks by before he shifts his focus toward Cindy. He nods. No further acknowledgment. Rude much?
“We can leave anytime.” Cindy’s murmur is barely audible, but her meaning is loud and clear. This is why I love her. She may not know the extent of our breakup—I never told a soul the real reason—but she remembers all too well how awful I felt afterward.
“I’m surprised you’d show up here. Jocks aren’t your usual crowd.” My voice remains calm. I don’t want to hint how I harbor nothing but hatred toward him. He’ll twist my feelings into thinking I still want him. I should have prepared myself for this moment. It was pretty naive of me to think I’d never run into him. Avoiding him all of last year must’ve made me lax. Our majors are worlds apart, considering he’s a physics major and I’m in fashion. Our paths never crossing isn’t at all unsurprising, but him showing up at Braxton’s house? That’s another story. He has some nerve.
The jerk gives a half-shrug. “My date’s brother is on the baseball team. She wanted to come here.”
I follow his gaze to a tall, leggy blonde who’s almost my replica. There’s one vast difference between us, though. She’s wearing a low V-cut top that reveals perfect-sized cleavage I’ll never be able to show. Nope, it’s nothing but modest scooped necklines and turtlenecks for me. Seeing her talk casually with, who I assume, is her brother and his friends makes my chest burn. I automatically place my hand over my heart—a protective move that is more mental than anything. Some scars are more than visible.
I hate Caleb for what he did to me. I hate this feeling of inadequacy. The self-doubt and poor body image that nobody sees but me. I hide behind a bubbly persona. Most days, I’m fine. It’s when reality slaps me in the face with what my future holds that knocks me down.
“Maybe you should get back to her.” Cindy’s attempt to make him leave falls flat as Caleb chuckles.
“I’m good.” He directs his attention back to me. “I figured we’d run into each other by now. It’s good seeing you.”
I swallow past the lump forming in my throat and find my voice. “Wish I could say the same.”
“Ouch. That’s how you’re going to treat me after all the time we spent together?”
“It’s not like we ended on good terms. Why are you pretending we did? Or did you finally grow a conscience?”
His face blanches. “I was protecting you.”
“Me?” I screech. “Don’t you mean yourself?”
The little twitch in the side of his face tells me I struck a nerve. Good. He’s made me feel like shit for an entire year. He can withstand a little pressure.
“How’s the math requirements working out for you?”
And whatever upper hand I held just crumbled and crashed to my feet. Seeing me struggle with my math classes in high school, he knows right where to throw the dagger. Asshole.
“They’re going great,” I lie. Maybe, with enough conviction in my voice, he’ll believe me. But I know the truth. Everything is far from great. I’m sinking faster than a leaded weight. The last test I took was hard. I studied my ass off for it and thought I was prepared, but when the professor handed out the examination, I froze. I answered most of the questions, but any confidence I had going into the class shattered by the time I left. My best hope is a passing grade.
Perspiration pools under my arms as Caleb studies me. The disbelief in his eyes is apparent. It’s as if he can see right through my lie. I feel as if we’re back in high school. For someone who was a whiz at math, he was an awful tutor. He would try to help me understand, but the sessions ended up with me walking away in tears he never saw shed. He basically called me stupid. And that insult wasn’t even the worst hit my self-esteem took. Nope, he really pulled a doozy on me right before breaking up.
I hate him.
“Everything okay?” Noah steps beside me and glares at Caleb. I’ve been so laser-focused on my ex I didn’t even hear Noah’s approach, but his presence eases my nerves.
“Everything’s fine,” I say through gritted teeth. Even though I’m mad at Noah too, I lean toward him. There’s solidarity in numbers, after all.
Caleb laughs and not the lighthearted kind. No, it’s the deep belly kind of laugh. “Oh, this is classic. I see your knight is still protecting you.”
“I see you’re still a prick.” Noah stands taller, head cocked to the side.
“Me?” Caleb feigns surprise. “I wasn’t doing anything but asking about her classes.”
“You know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t try to pretend otherwise.”
“Why don’t you two go fuck and get it over with.” Caleb shakes his head and walks toward his date.
What the hell? I gape at Caleb’s retreating backside. His insinuation dates back to high school days. Why would he suggest such a thing? Was he jealous of Noah and my relationship back then? He had no reason to be. Noah was in college during that time frame. No way in hell did Noah like me as anything other than a friend.
I think back to when Caleb would come over to the house and Braxton and Noah were home visiting. I always hated it because Caleb would act differently. He developed a chip on his shoulder or something. I attributed it to not spending alone time with me. But was it more? Noah would make his presence known every single time Caleb was there. Braxton suggested going out. Noah talked him into staying home. He’d either claim there was a movie to watch or a video game to play. Their constant hovering annoyed the shit out of Caleb, but I never construed his anger to be formed by jealously. Or that he thought Noah liked me as more than a friend.
Anger boils my blood. Did Noah sabotage my relationship purposefully? What other reason would he have? It wasn’t because he liked me. Otherwise, he would’ve acted on it. Noah can’t even talk about kissing me.
“Well, that was some serious pent-up frustration.” Cindy clucks her tongue.
I don’t respond as the party slams back into view. The last thing I want to do is make a scene, but I’m so damn confused. I fix my glare on Noah, but it doesn’t do any good. He stands there bewildered as if he can’t even process Caleb’s accusation. His befuddlement fuels my anger. Caleb’s crazy for being jealous over Noah. Noah had a chance with me and turned me down, too. There’s a reason I’m still a virgin. No man seem
s to want me.
“Uh, yeah… I’m just going to go get us a refill.” Cindy steps away as I continue glaring at Noah. He stands shell-shocked, staring after Caleb. After a few beats, he turns toward me. His mouth opens and then closes before opening again.
The color red stands out from the muted palette of colors directly behind Noah. Marla makes her way toward us. She’s the dose of reality I need to put everything into perspective. Noah can’t seem to shake her. Or maybe, he doesn’t try. He won’t as far as kiss me, but he’ll sleep with her. I wonder if they have plans later to hook up.
Noah looks as if he’s going to speak, and I hold my breath, waiting for the next wave of hurtful words to hit.
Chapter Eight
Noah
What the fuck just happened?
The music, the surrounding conversations, and the cheers from the beer pong game all fade to the background as the reality from Caleb’s words hits home.
Perhaps I should’ve thought more about my approach before marching over here. Truth is, I didn’t think at all. I acted on impulse the moment I read the tension written all over Shannon’s expression. No matter what friction is between us, my first instinct will always be to protect her.
Caleb has no business being around her. Not anymore. He lost that right after he dumped her. I don’t know the full circumstances, but Braxton mentioned Caleb broke up with her after not getting what he wanted. I can fill in the blanks. But she was heartbroken after their split. She hid her feelings well by putting on a bubbly attitude, but I know her too well. It was almost as if she was grieving.
Which I never understood.
I didn’t like Caleb after the first time she brought him home. He was the only boy who dared to come around Braxton and me. One would think he would’ve been intimidated. Nope, he had that same cocky attitude. The selfish prick. He never treated Shannon right. He’d glare at me whenever I came over to the house. Braxton and I would joke about kicking his ass. Now I wish we had. But did he give me attitude because he thought I crushed on his girl? That’s insane. I was just making sure she was taken care of.
I swallow down the lump forming in my throat and turn to Shannon, expecting to find the same bewildered look I possess. But when my eyes focus, she looks anything but surprised. She looks pissed. I step back, not quite sure if her anger is directed at Caleb or me. I rest my hand on the back of my neck and shift my weight to the other foot, not quite sure what to say.
“I’m sorry he disrespected you like that. He had no right talking to you that way.”
Her gaze snaps to me, her eyes narrowed into slits. Okay, definitely mad at me.
“I have no clue why Caleb would say that. Do you?”
I feel as if this is a trick question. I take my time answering, drawing out the words slowly and carefully. “He must’ve felt threatened somehow while you guys dated.”
She scoffs. I’m a little taken aback by her attitude. We haven’t seen each other since the day Cara and she came over for that disastrous meal, but it’s not like I’ve been purposely avoiding her. We bonded well together when we picked up the pizza, and I thought things were back to normal. I must’ve missed something.
“I don’t know why he’d feel that way. We’re nothing more than siblings, right?”
I flinch, once again hating that label. In all of these years, she’s never referenced me as a brother type either. “I don’t know. Last I knew, siblings don’t share kisses.” Not the way we went at each other, anyway.
“Yeah, well, neither do we.” Shannon looks over my shoulder and scoffs. “Your date’s here.”
With those parting words, she stalks off in the direction her friend went. My hands that have been clenched this entire time dig deeper against my thigh. What a year this is starting off to be. I’m so damn mad I could punch something. The drawback to being the levelheaded guy means I can’t, of course, but damn. I’ve really messed things up between us, and I don’t know how to right this ship. I need to go after her.
“There you are.” Marla sidles up beside me, and I steel myself for the fight.
“Look, I’m in a hurry and need to—”
“In a hurry? I’m right here.” Marla steps in front of me, stopping my progress.
“I’ve already said I’m not interested. What more do I need to say?” My voice sounds tired, and I am. It’s the same song and dance with her. Fucking her was a mistake. I see that now, but she knew I was never interested in anything more. I never am. I can’t afford to, which is why I couldn’t take advantage of Shannon that night. She deserves someone a hell of lot better than me. The same goes for Marla. If I had known she wanted a relationship from the beginning, I wouldn’t have done anything with her. Both of them deserve someone who can be there for them. Who they’ll live the rest of their lives with. Not me. I’ll only end up leaving them alone in their early sixties or, in my mom’s case, early forties. My dad developed amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or ALS, known by the more common term Lou Gehrig’s disease, early in life. That wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did. And the kicker? Since he developed it at such a young age, there’s an increased chance I could have inherited the disease. So, staying single the rest of my life isn’t an option. It’s the only way. No way will I ever subject the person I love to what my mom went through.
“I know, but I keep hoping you’ll change your mind.” Marla wraps her arms around my neck right as I lock gazes with Shannon. Her glare cuts right through me. Shit.
“Marla, it’s not going to happen. Ever.” I untangle her arms for the millionth time tonight and create distance between us. I need to get to Shannon.
“Seriously?” Marla places her hands on her hips and glares up at me.
Jesus, this is not my night. I let out a frustrated sigh and look back toward the kitchen, but Shannon’s gone. I glance frantically around the room, but she’s nowhere to be found. Shannon must have slipped out the back door. I step around Marla and head toward the kitchen. “I’m sorry, but we’re over.” Not that we ever began.
“You’re not done with me, Noah.”
Oh, but I am. I don’t respond as I pick up my pace. The crazy loon won’t listen anyway. This night can’t get any worse. I push my way through a group of guys standing by the island and step outside. A quick scan comes up empty. She doesn’t seem to be anywhere.
But I do find Garret, sitting in a lawn chair drinking by himself. “Have you seen Shannon?”
“I’m pretty sure she left with her redheaded friend.”
Goddammit.
“Thanks.” I run my fingers through my hair wondering how I can fix this. I let out a breath and look over at my friend. His eyes are dull as he takes a pull of his drink. He puts the bottle back down, jaw clenching as he watches the drunken football game going down in The Meadow. “Are you okay?”
Somewhere in his grunt, there’s an “I’m fine” phrase. He’s far from fine, but I don’t press. He’d tell me if he wants me to know. Just like I’d tell him what’s bothering me. But I’m in too pissy of a mood to press.
“Good party, though.” I slap him on the back. “Happy birthday.”
“Yeah, happy-fucking-birthday to me.”
Yeah, he’s definitely not fine.
“I’ll catch you later.”
My bad mood carries over to when Dalton comes into view. He’s spent a good portion of the night cozying up to Shannon. I’m not sure what his game is, but Braxton has told him time after time she’s off-limits. If he can’t seem to keep his dick in pants, I think I need to set him straight.
“You need to back off Shannon.”
He tips the longneck back and stares at me over the edge. A few tense moments tick by before he speaks. “Shannon’s a big girl. She’s free to talk to whoever she wants. You and Braxton coddle her too much. She’s not as weak as you all make her out to be.”
I ignore his jab and press forward. “I’ve seen the way are you with women. I don’t appreciate a teammate’s sister being one of
your conquests.”
His jaw clenches, and I’m not sure how much of my bullshit he’s going to take. I’m so angry right now I feel like I’m picking a fight. I don’t know why I’m delving into crazy land.
“You need to chill. What I do with Shannon is my own business. We’re friends, and that’s not going to change.”
“What you will do is quit sniffing around her like a horny dog.”
“What are you going to do? Kick my ass?” He pats my back condescendingly. “You need to look deeper into why you’re so upset. Why don’t you try being honest with yourself for once?”
For the second time, a person walks off, leaving me dumbfounded. Am I really that damn obvious? I hang around Braxton all the time, and he hasn’t once picked up on anything more than friendship. I do care for her. She’s a friend. Okay, I wouldn’t mind seeing her lying naked beneath me, and admittedly, I have pictured that exact scenario a time or two, but who wouldn’t? But I won’t act on my urges. I can control these raging hormones that got me in trouble in August.
But if other people are noticing, maybe, it’d be best to stay away. The problem comes down to this—I don’t know if I can.
Chapter Nine
Shannon
How to make a bad day worse? That’s easy. Wake up.
I swear the universe is against me today. The day didn’t start well when I slept straight through the morning alarm. My luck went downhill ever since. I was thirty minutes late to algebra class. Thirty minutes into a class I can’t afford to miss is devastating. I asked Professor Baird to stay after class and explain what I missed, but she had a meeting. She looked apologetic, but her empathy didn’t do my jittery nerves any good. Maybe, I could calm down if the latest test scores were posted yesterday like they were supposed to be. Her tardiness in posting and the little tsks she gave at the end of her “I graded your tests” speech doesn’t help settle my stomach. Based on her reaction, I have a feeling the test results aren’t good.
Behind the Count: Cessna U Wildcats Book Two Page 6