Her expression softens. “We all have our talents, Ms. Smith. You’ll come into yours.”
Was that a backhanded compliment? At this point, I can’t tell, nor do I care. “Thanks again. I’ll work on these tonight.”
My flat-soled shoes tap against the tile as I walk along the corridor in the math center. I pull my phone out to text Noah, but then pause when I realize he’s the first person I want to text. Doesn’t that say something about us? Like a good sign or something? I put the phone back in my pocket. I’ll tell him when I see him. He’s supposed to be waiting for me outside.
Sunshine greets me the moment I step from the building. I welcome the warmth and channel the energy to restore my balance. It doesn’t take long to spot Noah standing by Braxton and Cara and a few teammates. Great. Braxton is the last person I need to see. Taking a step forward, I draw from my inner strength and force the biggest smile. I’ll have to fake it until I get Noah alone. I can’t deal with my brother knowing my continued struggles right now.
“Catch you later.” The teammates take off at my approach. I go stand next to my brother and across from Noah.
“Hey, sis. How’d the test go?” Braxton asks.
“I passed!” I force my grin wider and hope like hell no one sees through my façade. Technically, I did pass, so I’m not lying, but overemphasizing my enthusiasm is.
“I knew you had it in you,” Braxton says.
“Yeah, thanks to this guy.” My gaze drifts to Noah, who stares at me with a reserved look. I swallow past the sudden lump of embarrassment lodged in my throat. He knows I’m faking.
“You’ve worked hard.” Noah’s statement comes across low as if reinforcing the point failure isn’t from lack of trying. “I think this calls for ice cream.”
“You know my weakness.”
“I do,” he agrees.
“Everyone knows your weakness,” Braxton says, rolling his eyes.
“As much as I’d like to join in, I have homework to catch up on.” Cara turns to Braxton. “Can you walk me back to the dorm?”
“I can certainly do that.” Braxton wraps his arm around her shoulders. “Catch you guys later.”
Cara gives me a knowing wink before they take off. Hmm. She definitely suspects something. At their departure, Noah looks down and flashes me a crooked grin.
“Looks like it’s just the two of us.”
“Guess so.”
Noah takes my hand as we walk toward the ice cream shop just off campus. His action throws me momentarily. The move is rather bold, considering we’re still on campus where anyone could see. He really is serious about us. Warm fuzzies fill my chest at that thought until he speaks and reminds me of my dismal state.
“I take it you didn’t get the score you wanted?”
“No! I got a C-minus. How is that possible?” My heart rate spikes, thinking about the possibility of not passing. I don’t want to ruin my chances for Glamour Project. My designs are coming together so well. I’ll cry if I don’t get the opportunity to showcase them.
“You said you finished every problem, right?”
“Yep. I felt good going into the test. It was when I looked over the equations I freaked.”
“We’ll go over each problem and see what was amiss. You may suffer from test anxiety.”
“I’m like a big stress ball.”
“I know something that helps with stress.”
My gaze cuts to his. The mischievous gleam, the sexy, yet confident, half-smirk, and the slightest arch to his brow steal my breath. I never see this side of Noah. But I really like it. “You do, huh?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“We may have to try that technique.” My mouth dries. Did I really just say that? By the way the green in his eyes darkens to jade, I’d say I did.
His low chuckle breaks our connection. “Come on, Sprinkles. We’ll put that theory to the test later.”
Twenty minutes later, we’re standing in front of the ice cream display.
“Hey, they have your favorite,” Noah says, pointing to the unicorn ice cream.
“No way!” I sidle next to him and peer through the display glass. “Holy crap, they do.”
“Do you want me to go ahead and order?”
“I don’t know. I may get something else.”
He laughs, and the sound vibrates against my arm. “No, you won’t. You’ll scan every flavor, contemplate each choice for fifteen minutes, and then order the unicorn waffle cone with extra sprinkles.”
“You don’t know.”
“I know everything about you.” He gives me a sideways glance. “But trust me, I plan on getting to know you way better.”
“I hope so.” Damn, once Noah commits, he goes all in. Overwhelmed, I look away and pretend to ponder the various ice cream flavors. I don’t want to succumb to my fear of inadequacy, but I already have. My thoughts lead me to that dark place that dampened the joy his flirting created. Eventually, we’ll have sex. It’s what I want. What I’ve wanted for the past few years. But I’m not ready to be fully naked in front of Noah yet. I’m not sure I’ll ever be. Is he going to be okay with that?
“I suppose you’re right. I do want my unicorn ice cream. Don’t forget the sprinkles,” I say. As his chuckles fill the air between us, I walk outside and find a bench.
“Here you go.” Noah hands me my ice cream and joins me on the bench.
“Thanks.” I take my first lick and moan. “This is so good.”
His smile broadens as he shakes his head. “You’ve always liked that flavor.”
“What’s not to like?”
“Other than the fact it’s pure sugar and cream, I guess nothing.”
I nudge his shoulder with mine and point to his double scoop chocolate cone. “I’m surprised you’ve crossed to the dark side.”
His lips twitch. “I think you’re worth splurging over.”
“I’m totally worth splurging over.” But also surprised. Noah sticks to a pretty strict diet regime. He hardly ever drinks alcohol. He eliminates most sugar from his diet. I’ve asked him the reasoning behind his health habits, but he just attributes it to baseball training.
“I know. That’s why I won the unicorn for you.”
“I miss Uni. I loved that stuffed animal.” My poor one-eyed unicorn got destroyed in the dorm fire last year. I was lucky to be gone when the fire broke out. They said it was an electrical fire, but it broke out on my floor. I had my backpack, computer, and a few notes with me, but everything else perished. The pictures, I replaced, but Uni suffered a horrible fate that night.
“You took it everywhere.”
Even to college. I swallow, wondering if I should tell him my reasoning. It’s hard putting myself on the line because we’ve been friends for so long, but when I look into his eyes, I drum up the courage and the truth spills out. “That’s because you gave it to me.”
“It reminded me of you.”
The teenage girl inside me wants to beam up at him. There is still a part of me that hopes he liked me back then. Lord knows I had a crush the size of Texas on him. But no matter how much I dream or want it to be true, I doubt my feelings were reciprocated. I don’t dare ask. Sometimes, fantasies are better than realities.
“I’m sorry it got ruined.”
“Me, too.”
“I’m just touched you brought it with you.” He takes my hand in his. “When Braxton and I went to the carnival, I felt bad you couldn’t go with us. I knew how much you wanted to go.”
“Yeah, I was so bummed.” I remember the entire scene too well. The week before the carnival, I found out Noah and Braxton were going. When I asked my brother about it, he said he wouldn’t take me because I’d cramp his style. He was barely fifteen. How much damage could I do? I begged him to let me tag along, and like the good brother, he caved. I couldn’t wait to go.
A storm broke out two nights before we were to go to the carnival. I close my eyes as a shiver runs down my spine at the memory. The rain beat agains
t the glass like those damn pickaxes, and fear gripped my heart. I thought my heart was going to pound through my chest. Sweat broke across my forehead when I went to find Mom. Her face slackened the moment she saw me. The next thing I knew, the worst kind of pain shot through my chest, and I lost consciousness. I kept waking up to flashing lights and people yelling until I faded into total darkness.
I woke up in the hospital, hooked to monitors and tubes. The last surgery that repaired the rebuilt pulmonary artery failed, resulting in a near-death experience. They repaired it in time, and that surgery should be my last, considering I’m grown now, but that resulted in Braxton and Noah going to the carnival without me. I was upset, but in too much pain to care. When Noah and Braxton came to see me, Noah walked in, carrying a gigantic unicorn with a multicolored horn, a missing eye, and grease marred across the eyebrows. Hence, the name Uni. Noah had told me the unicorn reminded him of me.
“I wanted to make you happy. I thought of you immediately when I saw it.”
Noah’s voice draws me from the memory. I look at him and smirk. “You know, for the longest time, I thought you meant I had a unibrow.”
He belts out a laugh. “No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did. I begged Mom to take me to the beauty shop to get my eyebrows waxed. She wouldn’t do it. She thought I was crazy.”
“You seriously didn’t believe that.”
“Hey, I was barely twelve. You told me it reminded you of me. Crazy shit goes through little girls’ minds at that age.” It didn’t help that I had two major surgeries that year and was already feeling self-conscious from the scars. Normal kids didn’t have heart surgeries.
“I meant because of the unicorn ice cream you liked. I promise I never once thought you had a unibrow. You’ve never been anything less than beautiful.” His gaze raises, meeting mine. I feel the burn in my cheeks. Not saying a word, I lick my cone as he watches, and my mind processes what he said. Did he think I was pretty back then? He surely doesn’t mean it the way I’m taking it. Otherwise, he would’ve acted on it way before now. But then again, this is Noah. He’s always been reserved.
“I’m really proud of you. We’ll get your grade up there.”
I nod. “She did say I could get half a point back for each corrected answer.”
His eyebrows raise. “Really? That will help out a lot.”
“I hope so.”
“Hey, don’t worry.” He nudges my thigh with his knuckles, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he flexes his fingers and wraps them around my thigh as if staking a claim. The shiver coursing through my body this time is warm and welcomed. “We’ll get you passed and on that runway show.”
“That would be good.”
“How are your designs going?”
“Great. I think I’ve come up with the material choices.” I leave out the part about Marla being a pain in the ass. I wonder if she’s still texting him, but I don’t ask. I trust what he tells me.
“We need to celebrate.”
“I thought that’s what we’re doing.” I hold up the waffle cone.
“No, this is comfort food. I mean, we should go out on a date.”
“How can we swing that when my brother is always around?”
Noah runs his hands along his face. “I’ll think of something.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“Let’s go. I think we have a test to correct.”
We push off the bench. This time, when Noah holds my hand, I have no reservations and a lot of hope for where we’re headed.
Chapter Nineteen
Shannon
The real test of willpower happens in T-minus sixty minutes when Noah and I meet at Barton’s Sports Bar to watch the playoff game. The big question will be answered tonight. How will Noah act around me when we’re in front of the gang? How will I? I know Noah’s serious about dating me—he couldn’t have been any clearer—but there’s one question niggling at the back of my mind. Is he going to cave to my brother’s will and flip his mind? Noah may be serious about dating, but making plans is easier without external influences. It’s those damn obstacles, like an overprotective brother who happens to be his best friend and teammate, that make following through with those plans harder.
“It seems like forever since we’ve gone out together.” Cara stands in front of the skinny mirror hooked to the back of her closet door, wrapping her long, dark strands around a curling wand. Lexie sits on Cara’s bed, looking at her phone.
“That’s the truth,” I say. The three of us haven’t gone out together since school resumed. With Cara’s crazy schedule and Lexie’s… Well, I don’t know what Lexie has been up to. Her MIA status draws concern, but it’s not enough to warrant questions. If I start being nosy, her answers may ricochet back to me and lead to questions I won’t want to answer. We all have our secrets.
“We were together at Garret’s birthday party.” Lexie’s protest is cut short by Cara’s huff.
“But we didn’t hang around each other that night.” Cara glances over her shoulder at Lexie. “Speaking of Garret, will he be there? Braxton never said.”
Lexie’s lips thin. “I don’t know. He didn’t commit to going out when we worked on our project.”
Cara puts down the curling iron and fluffs her hair. Her eyebrows draw together in concern. “Is everything okay between you guys? You two seem off or something.”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. We’ve been super busy with our project. It’s hard keeping up in my other classes. But it’s Friday night. I’m sure Garret will go home like he always does.”
“Why does he go home every weekend? No one has ever told me.” I ask more out of curiosity than anything. Most college guys I know never go home. Of course, the college guys I know aren’t local either. Garret lives in a suburb nearby.
“No one knows, but I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend he never mentions,” Lexie scoffs, looking irritated. Or maybe her expression is sad. I can’t tell.
Cara’s eyes soften as she stares at her friend. “I’m sure we’ll have fun, regardless. Would you rather go to Beats instead?”
My heart drops. Beats is a dance club that opened last year and nowhere close to where the guys will be. I don’t want to be the one to say no, but the whole idea of going out is to be with Noah. Tonight is the closest chance I’ll get to that promised date, and I don’t want to miss out.
My brother is constantly around. Noah’s waiting to see if the Dodgers win their series and go on to play the Phillies. Then we’ll have a free weekend. I’ve never rooted so hard for a rival team in my life but sign me up. If it means alone time with Noah, I’ll gladly jump on the bandwagon and be a Dodger’s fan.
“And miss you watching your brother play? No way. I’ll be fine. Besides, I don’t need Garret to have fun.”
“Okay, but if you change your mind, say the word, and we’ll leave. Tonight’s about us, not the guys.”
Says you.
“Have you lost weight?” Lexie’s question startles me and causes me to glance down at my tan belted cargo-style mini skirt. The waistband does fit looser than usual.
“Um, maybe? My eating habits have been messed up with my study schedule.” Between tutoring sessions and training for the color run, I’ve missed some meals. I keep that information quiet. Braxton still doesn’t know about the 5K, and I’d like to keep it that way. Noah may understand after I confessed to him my plans, but that doesn’t mean my brother ever will. A lecture is the last thing I want before going out tonight. I’m not giving up my training. My stamina has improved, thanks to Dalton. He’s more attentive to my vitals after I confronted him with my medical information, but he didn’t scare away like I feared. But losing weight isn’t part of my agenda.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Lord knows, I hate it when people mention my weight issues.”
“You don’t have weight issues.” Cara’s quick response startles Lexie, but Cara’s right. Lexie falls on the shorter side, but
her size ten is what people consider normal.
“Tell that to my dad.” Lexie rolls her eyes. “He’s constantly nagging me about going on a diet, and it drives me crazy.” She glances over at me. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I didn’t realize how many meals I’ve missed. I’ll get my butt to the cafeteria sooner.” I smooth out my skirt, looking for any excuse to take the heat off of me. “What do you guys think about the new dorms being built?”
“I wish they were done now so we could’ve lived in them.” Cara laughs.
“I heard this dorm will be for the new freshmen next year,” I say.
“Speaking of next year, are you planning on living on campus?” Lexie asks.
“I haven’t really thought about it, but yeah, I guess I’ll have to find a new roommate.” I’ll be by myself since everyone will be graduating this year. Dalton won’t graduate, but he’ll more than likely be drafted. And outside of design class, I haven’t hung around Todd.
“That will suck. I never thought about it before,” Lexie says. “Maybe, we’ll be here for grad school.”
“Have you guys applied yet?”
Cara’s face blanches. “I’m sending applications out soon. I’ve tweaked my CV letter to death. It should be ready.”
“Same. It’s such a process.” Lexie falls back on the bed. “It’s downright frightening to do all this work and have our future hang in the balance with admissions. What a joke.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You guys will be fine. But that’s why we need tonight. I’m ready to have some fun.”
“Me too,” Cara says. “Between work and studies, my head’s spinning. I need to relax and watch my brother kick ass.”
I’m ready to spend time with Noah outside studying, no matter how hard it will be. Since letting go of his inhibitions, Noah has been more handsy. I bite my lip. Eventually, he’ll want more. More of me, more of my body. I’m ready to make the next move, but I can’t shake the fear residing deep inside me. A multitude of questions circles my mind like a carousel. What is he going to do once he sees me naked, sees my entire body? Will he be repulsed like my ex-boyfriend? Caleb never got past the issue, so how do I think Noah is going to?
Behind the Count: Cessna U Wildcats Book Two Page 12