“If she does, then, we’ll deal.” I lift Shannon’s chin until she’s staring directly at me. “I can handle Braxton. You’re not going to be my dirty little secret much longer.”
“I’m glad you think that.”
“So, Miss Smarty Pants, where do you want to celebrate?” I pull her closer to me and kiss the top of her nose. I’m so fucking proud of her.
She surprises me by unbuttoning my shirt. I have a distinct feeling we’re not going anywhere.
“I don’t want to go out. All the celebrating I want to do is right here.”
“You do now?” Jesus, I don’t know how I got so lucky. But if we stay here, I take the risk of her thinking we’re only together for the sex. And that is one thought I don’t want ever going through her mind. I grab her hands before the last button is undone. “But I think you deserve some fun. We could—”
My voice cuts off when she pushes my shirt back and plants a kiss on my chest.
“I have everything I want in this room.”
Well, damn. Maybe, I’m the one being used. “What did I create?”
She laughs gently as she pushes me down on her bed and moves her lips along my torso, taking her sweet time. My dick grows hard in my shorts as I run my hands along her curves. I close my eyes as her fingers flub with the button on my shorts and unzip the fly. With a lift of my hips, she works the shorts and boxer briefs down. Christ, this girl.
I growl and push her off me and lay her on her back.
“What are you doing? I had a plan.” Her protest falls weak when I nestle between her thighs.
“I’m not the one who deserves the prize here, Sprinkles. I think that accolade goes to you.” I mimic her movements from earlier and start kissing my way down her neck onto her chest. I try working her top off, but she places her hands on the edge right before I expose the underside of her breast. The slight panic in her eyes nearly does me in. I abandon my position, vowing to earn her trust. Her scars have her worried, I know that, but it seems there’s an underlying factor triggering her fear. I won’t push. Not today. I change direction and move my tongue to her stomach while wrapping my fingers around her shorts and underwear. I continue to lick and suck and slowly work the material loose.
Once she’s freed, I spread her thighs apart. I back up to take a look at her pussy, pink and glistening for me. “Beautiful.”
Her small gasp breaks through the air. My gaze travels up her body, over her round hips, her curvy waist, and her flat stomach, which leads to her plump breasts and the hint of a scar tucked beneath the shirt. I take all of her in. Then, finally, I meet her lust-filled gaze. That look. It tells me she wants this as much as I want to taste her. I dip my tongue to her most sensitive spot and watch her eyes close as she bucks beneath me. Her hands fist the sheet as my tongue licks along her seam to her opening. I swipe my tongue around her slit, savoring her taste before shoving inside.
“Noah.” She gasps my name.
After a few more thrusts of my tongue, I pull out. “I love the way you taste.”
She answers me with a moan as I’m back to stroking her clit. I place a finger inside where my tongue had just been. I flick and pump. She bucks and moans. We keep this dance going until her walls clamp down on my finger, and I feel her getting close. I love doing this to her. I love making her feel good. I shove another finger inside her and pump faster. Licking. Sucking. Stroking. Her pants and soft whimpers fill the air. I place my hand on her abdomen to hold her in place. She convulses around my fingers, her body quivering beneath my palm. I continue to lap up every drop of her I can and don’t stop until the shaking eases. I bring my head up to hers and kiss her. My dick is painfully hard, knowing she can taste herself and doesn’t seem to care.
“You seemed to enjoy that.”
“Yes.” She pants heavily.
I bring my hand back to between her legs. “Are you doing okay down here?”
“More than okay. I want you, Noah.”
I grab the condom on the bed and rip the package. I position myself back between her legs and line up my tip to her entrance. She’s watching me, but I want her eyes trained to mine. “Look at me.”
She shifts those sapphire blues to me. “I want to watch you as I enter. I want to see every emotion flickering across that gorgeous face of yours.”
I push inside. She lets out a gasp, but she listens, her gaze staying locked with mine. All the things she’s done for me flood my thoughts. Making me a bracelet after my dad died. Making sure I had a tin of cookies their mom made when mine was too sucked up by grief and exhausted to continue being a mom. Cheering me on at baseball games from Little League to college. Consoling me after I didn’t get drafted but in a way that wasn’t pitiful. Shannon has always been there for me every step of the way. She’s the one solid rock in my life.
Shadows stretch across the room as the day fades to night. The desk lamp casts a faint glow over her soft features as I move in and out. There’s a hint of admiration as she stares up at me as if I’m the only guy she wants. My chest tightens from the realization that she means the same to me. I’ve fought these feelings for her for so long. Filled my needs with other people, but not a single one of them compares to her. Shannon’s the person I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life. There’s a reason I’ve never dated. Deep down, I’ve always known my heart belongs to no one else but Shannon.
I increase the tempo, taking her deeper with each plunge. The room fills with our soft moans. She feels fucking incredible wrapped around my dick. I can’t get enough of her, wanting to explore everything her body has to offer. I run my fingertips along her side and stop at the edge of her bra. No matter how badly I want to rip her shirt off, I won’t press. If baby steps are what she needs to make her comfortable, that’s what we’ll do. My thumb brushes the underside of her breast. The slight whimper my action causes tells me she wants more. That she wants to be touched.
I whisper near her ear, “I want to feel your bare breast. I’m going to unhook your bra, but I’ll keep the shirt on, okay?”
She bites her bottom lip but nods. I continue driving inside her and make quick use of my hand. As soon as the contraption frees, I trace along her skin, leaving a path of goose bumps in my wake. She stiffens when I brush against the hard lines of her scar, but I don’t draw attention to what I’m sure she deems as imperfections. They’re anything but, and one day, I’ll make her see that. But for now, I keep moving until her breast fits snuggly in my palm. Her nipples form nice hard peaks I long to suck, but I’m smart enough to know that will come in time once I earn her trust.
“You feel incredible. You know that, right?” To prove my point, I graze my thumb across her hardened peak. She bucks off the mattress, arching her back.
“I think you’re the one who’s making me feel incredible.”
I chuckle. God, I love this girl.
Unable to hold back anymore, I thrust deeper, drive faster, as I palm her breast and tweak one of her nipples.
“Noah.” My name sounds like pure ecstasy rolling off her tongue. Her walls clamp my cock as her body writhes beneath me. My orgasm slams into me hard as ripples of pleasure surge throughout my entire body.
“Shannon.” I drive into her, pumping the last of my release, knowing she has ruined me for anyone else. Fuck that. There is no one else. Only this sweet girl who had my heart before I even knew I had one to give. I collapse beside her. After this, we’ll never be the same.
We clean our mess up, and she cuddles beside me. I kiss the top of her head and squeeze her tighter. Dealing with her brother is the simpler problem we face. There’s a bigger one that lingers over my head and threatens to damper my time with her. I won’t allow it. I’ll find a permanent solution to be with her. I have to. A message to my physician asking about testing is warranted. I have no other choice but to make this work between us.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Noah
The morning light filters in through the window. Those a
larm bells—the ones warning Shannon’s roommate may waltz in at any moment—ring loud and clear. I don’t move. How can I when the warm body burrowing against me feels this incredible? I hold her tighter. Last night’s sex belongs in the Hall of Fame under the best-sex-of-my-life category. It isn’t like we had wild, uninhibited sex or mastered the art of Kama Sutra. No, it’s more about the bond we shared. I swear when I was inside her while our gazes locked the connection could be felt clear to our bones. Sex with Shannon is everything and so much more. There’s no going back. I may be over my head here, but I’m too far gone to care.
Shannon stirs awake and then scrambles out of my hold. I open my eyes right as she sits up and pulls her shirt back over her tits. It may have ridden up from me fondling her, but I’ll never admit to it.
“You okay over there?” I ask, my morning voice sounding gravelly.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t be shy now.” I reach for her, but she doesn’t lie back down. “You weren’t last night.”
“No, it’s not that, I’m just…” When her voice trails off, I know exactly what’s bothering her. Self-doubt has grabbed hold and planted roots deep inside her brain. I’m used to Shannon’s strong will, so I’m a little perplexed and don’t know how to make her see the beautiful girl in front of me. These insecurities stem from somewhere or someone, and not knowing fucking kills me.
“Get back in here.” I arc my arm to cradle her. She hesitates, shooting a worried glance toward the door, but complies. I pull her against my chest and plant a small kiss on top of her head, biting back a sigh. If I’m going to earn her trust, I need to man up and confront the issue. “I know you’re self-conscious about your body, but I don’t understand why.”
Her body stiffens beside me. I close my eyes, silently cursing myself. Last night was perfect, and I’m ruining it by pressing her. Maybe, I shouldn’t have broached the subject, but damn it. It kills me knowing she’s this upset over whatever holds her hostage. “I’m sorry, I just don’t under—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She wiggles in my arms, trying to escape, but I tighten my grip. Other than the risk of Cara finding us, there isn’t anywhere to be. Classes don’t start for another few hours.
“I don’t want to push, but I’m concerned. What happened?” I’m fucking this conversation up and saying all the wrong things. I should’ve paid better attention during psych class sophomore year. I have no idea how to steer this conversation so she’ll open up to me.
“Nothing happened. I’m fine.”
“Talk to me, Shannon.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.” My words come across harsher than intended. Anger won’t do either one of us any good, but her refusal to talk to me hurts. I rein in my temper and soften my tone. “You’re so fucking beautiful. It’s hard for me to understand why you can’t see that.”
“How can you not?” she asks, her voice cracking. “I have this gnarly-looking scar from the last surgery. It isn’t sexy.”
“But it’s part of who you are. Those scars mean you’re alive. Can’t you see that?” She’d be dead if it wasn’t for the emergency surgery. I don’t give a flying fuck what the surgeon left behind if it means she’s still living.
At first, I think she’s irritated when she doesn’t answer, but then, I feel a drop of wetness on my arm. I rise to my elbow and cup her face, wiping away her tears. “Hey, I’m serious. Your scars don’t bother me. Hell, we all have some kind of flaw.” You just can’t always see them. I swallow the bitter truth before continuing, “Why are you so afraid?”
Her breath stutters as I watch a wave of emotions flow through her. She looks like she’d rather eat nails than confess to me. “Remember when Caleb broke up with me and the excuse I used?”
“Yeah, he was pressuring you to have sex, and you wouldn’t cave.” There’s a caution to my voice. I’m almost afraid of what she’s going to say. If he forced her into doing something against her will, I’ll fucking find him now and pulverize him.
“Mmmhmm. I sort of lied.”
My jaw clenches. “What do you mean?”
“Well, there’s no sort of. I did lie.”
She looks away, but I’m still cupping her face. I nudge her chin so she’ll look back at me. “Don’t leave me now. Tell me what you mean?”
“We were getting ready to have sex. In fact, I wanted to very badly. I was tired of being a virgin and wanted to know what it was like, you know. My friends had lost their virginity junior year and would brag about how good it was. I had a boyfriend my senior year and wanted to know. I thought I loved him.”
She loved him? My lips thin as I fight to stay neutral.
“Anyway, we were alone over at his house, and we were getting ready to…you know.” She looks about as uncomfortable as I feel, but I don’t interrupt. “When it came time for me to remove my shirt, I wasn’t thinking. Until I looked at him.”
The pained expression crossing her face nearly does me in. It takes all my strength to remain still. I just want to go find the asshole and knock him down a few sizes. Instead, I pull her against my chest.
She swallows back a sob, and continues, “When his gaze dropped to the scars, I saw him recoil in disgust. Then, he turned and refused to look at me.”
The fucking asshole. Anger slams into me. “I hope you told him to go to hell.”
A sad laugh escapes. “I should have. But no, he told me to put my shirt back on.” She swallows. “We tried to continue, but when he got between my legs, he—”
“You don’t have to go on. I can guess what he did or didn’t do.”
“He said he was afraid something would happen to my heart if we continued.”
I flinch. She’s not broken. “He’s mighty high on himself. I’m sure he’s not that good.”
This time, she does laugh. “No, I’m sure he’s not.”
I hated the guy before but never had a real reason until now. I hate that this happened to her. I hate that she has to worry about what people think. I hate that he made her worst fear come to light.
Squeezing her tighter, I kiss the top of her head. “One, I’ve never liked that prick. From the first day you brought him home, I wanted to pummel him. I still can if you want me to.”
“As tempting as that sounds, I’d rather you hold me instead.”
“That can be arranged.” I pull back to look her in the eyes. I want to drive home my point. “You never have to worry about me. I’m not going anywhere.”
My mouth speaks the truth. I just hope my body can uphold the meaning behind the words.
* * *
My anger from Caleb’s stunt he pulled on Shannon carries over when I reach home. I burst through the door in no mood to deal with any shit today. Expecting to find the house empty since Dalton and Garret have morning classes, I find Braxton and Cara sitting on the couch going over notes instead. I guess that could be the reason why she never showed up to the dorm this morning.
“You just now getting home?” Braxton asks, his brow furrowed.
“What are you, my keeper?” I laugh lightheartedly as if he’s joking.
“No,” he says cautiously. “Just confused. Cara said you were with Shannon last night.”
Making my way to the fridge, I shrug as I grab the container of orange juice. Fuck, I hate lying to him, but I don’t have much choice. I certainly can’t tell him right now. I’m not in the right frame of mind to soften that blow. “Yeah, we had our tutoring session last night. She has a good grasp of the concepts. She got a B-plus on her last test, so she should be set for the final.”
Braxton’s lips purse as he eyes me for a moment. Cara gathers up the stacks of papers, keeping herself busy. A beat passes before he finally speaks. “So, you what? Shacked up with some girl afterward?”
My hand pauses before I take a swig of juice. The simple solution would be to say yes and move on, but man, the lies are piling up. And saying I was with some random girl seems like a betray
al to Shannon. My stomach rolls. “Wow, you’re really concerned about my welfare. Should I send out the invites to our wedding?”
“Fuck off. I just don’t like you coming home the next morning after being with my sister. And quit drinking from the container. That’s disgusting.”
I shrug and replace the cap. “It beats dirtying a glass.”
“Chill out, Braxton.” Cara plants a kiss on his lips and stands. “You worry way too much.”
Braxton relaxes from her touch, and I let out a relieved breath. Thank you, Cara. I’m pretty sure she knows more about Shannon and me than she lets on.
“You’re right. But you don’t understand.” He swings her around until she sits on his lap. That right there—being able to grab and be playful with your girl—is what I want to do. Not this sneaking around shit.
“What don’t I understand?” Cara asks.
“I may have only been a toddler when Shannon had her first operation, but I remember it vividly. She was so tiny, hooked up to those machines. It created a lasting image, and I vowed right then and there to always protect her. My promise solidified after her emergency surgery.”
Cara’s face scrunches. “What surgery?”
Braxton lets out a groan as I shake my head. Yeah, buddy. The big mouth award goes to you. Shannon’s not going to be happy when she finds out he told Cara. By the remorse haunting his features, he knows he fucked up. It still doesn’t stop me from shooting him a hard glare.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Shannon doesn’t want people knowing.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Cara says.
“No, it’s better to get the truth out than have you speculating.”
Concern coats Cara’s face as Braxton explains Shannon’s history. I need to go shower, but I feel obligated to stay on Shannon’s behalf. The more Braxton explains, the angrier I become. Not over the fact Shannon had to deal with multiple surgeries in her lifetime but from what she told me earlier. Her weasel of an ex had no right making her feel this way. He took something she had no control over and turned it against her. I’m so glad his perfect life is all rainbows and unicorns, and I hope he continues down the path of perfection, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to beat the shit out of him.
Behind the Count: Cessna U Wildcats Book Two Page 18