Apathetic God

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Apathetic God Page 6

by Ian Withrow


  He was cut off by an audible smack as Lauren slapped him hard across the face. The courtyard fell utterly silent. Lauren ignored the blisters on her palm, she regretted nothing.

  “You’re sick. You don’t own-”

  Weyland whipped a hand out, taking Lauren by the throat and lifting her bodily from the ground. She struggled in his grasp, but her buffeting wings did nothing to lessen his steely grasp.

  She could feel deep burns forming underneath his fingers, and when she cried in pain the air in her throat seemed to burn as well.

  “You are mine by right. I have waited millennia for you, and I will not be denied.”

  Lauren stopped her struggling. Her vision was starting to blacken at the edges, but she made steady eye contact with Weyland.

  “I’d rather die.”

  His eyes widened at the conviction in her voice.

  “Would you? Truly?”

  Weyland’s aura of heat intensified. Lauren’s exposed skin turned pink and then cherry red. Her lungs felt like a blast furnace, every breath more agonizing than the last. Her gift fought valiantly against the damage to her body, but it was a losing battle.

  She tried to respond, but was unable to get a word out around the blazing pain in her lungs.

  “What’s that? You have an answer for me?”

  She nodded.

  He turned down the heat enough for her to croak out a single word.

  “Yes.”

  An expression of genuine confusion fought it’s way past his anger. He dropped her to the ground. She lay there, steaming, while he spoke.

  “How? How can it be that you so reject your rightful place at my side?”

  She was in too much pain to respond. Instead, she stayed still, kneeling on the ground and gathering her strength.

  “No matter, perhaps a reminder of the consequences for your disobedience will… encourage you to see things my way.”

  Weyland closed his eyes, a look of great concentration on his face. Deep glowing red cracks appeared on his body. First on his chest, and then spreading to his arms, his neck, and his head. The cracks widened, revealing what looked like molten steel beneath his flesh.

  The only warning the citizens of Athens had was a moment of dull rumbling in the ground. Within seconds a massive explosion sent ash and broken stone rocketing into the sky in the middle of the city. Lauren heard the explosion, and seconds later she felt the shockwave roar past her. She stood, looking out over the edge of the Acropolis. A geyser of liquid flame poured upward in the heart of the city. Through the smoke and debris still raining down she could see lava pouring into crowded streets from a newly birthed volcano.

  She couldn’t help but be awed by the power that he demonstrated. He met her gaze, his eyes white hot coals as he smiled at her.

  “There you are, little bird. The price of your temper tantrum. Satisfied?”

  Lauren stood, making a show of doing so unsteadily. She gave her singed wings a flex, they felt alright from what she could tell.

  “You have my answer.”

  With that, she leapt into the air faster than he could react. As soon as she was clear of the earth she pulled another tight circle, coming to hover above him.

  Her new vantage point gave her an even clearer view of the blazing city. Once upon a time her heart would have shattered at the wanton destruction. She was inwardly ashamed that the most she could muster was a short pang of guilt. But she had given enough, she had died for those people. And what had they done to save her from this man? To save her from… no, she refused to acknowledge it.

  He looked surprised at her answer, but also in a twisted way, impressed.

  “You are right to scorn them, what have they ever done for you? You are above them Lauren! You should be worshipped as I am. Worshipped as a goddess!”

  His words echoed her thought uncomfortably, and rather than stay and listen she turned to fly away, ignoring his calls.

  “Don’t worry, little bird. You have all of immortality to come back to me.”

  The thought sickened her.

  She turned out over the city, making her way North. She tried to ignore the screams and devastation below her as she passed over the wreckage from Weyland’s display.

  You’ve given enough, You don’t owe them anything.

  Lauren repeated her mantra over and over, wielding it like a shield.

  She headed higher, gaining altitude until she could no longer see their faces.

  The hours passed as Lauren continued to head inland. She allowed her body to move on autopilot while she mulled over the events of the morning. She tried to sort out what she should do now. Weyland’s words kept gnawing at her thoughts.

  Was it true? Was she immortal? Was she stuck here, in this life where everything she did seemed to go horribly wrong? He must be telling the truth, he had no reason to lie about it. Besides, she had clearly survived the thousand foot fall she had taken. Lauren thought back to the peace she had felt as she thought she was about to die. The certainty that at last it would all end.

  She sighed wistfully.

  So what, he was right about her immortality. That didn’t mean he wasn’t lying about the rest. Right?

  Her relaxed face turned into a scowl as she considered his words. The dream was based on her subconscious desires he had said. The… things he had done were her design, her intention. Lauren knew it was wrong, but the seed of doubt found fertile ground in her psyche.

  She could feel her pulse quicken as thoughts started to pierce the veil of her intentional denial. She tried to stomp them back into the dark, unseen corners of her mind but they were reluctant to move. Lauren knew she would have to process them eventually, but she was afraid to face them. Afraid to face who she was, and who she would never be again.

  Instead, she distracted herself by looking at the landscape below. The sun was high in the sky, telling her it must be close to noon or even after. Cities dotted the foreign landscape below her, mixing with the greenery of pastures and forests. The sight of the trees below gave her some comfort.

  And an idea.

  Lauren tucked her wings, accelerating rapidly as she dove earthward. Wind rushed past her, leaving a high whistle in her ears as she streaked to the ground. The speed was exhilarating. Her eyes watered and her hair whipped wildly as she dove faster and faster. The ground raced up to meet her, small dots and shapes resolving themselves into terrain features as she closed the distance.

  Lauren waited until the last possible second to pull up. She held out her hand and let wildflowers tickle her fingers as she blazed across an open field just a few feet off the ground. She could see the treeline approaching in the distance. With a slight adjustment to her broad feathers, she was upright and slowing down. She touched down into a graceful trot with a few hard flaps of her wings. Her heart was pounding again, but this time from exertion. The rush of adrenaline cleared her mind. Mostly. She relished the high for as long as she could.

  How long has it been since I went running?

  She knew what Dustin would have said, that she needed to do this more. He had always encouraged physical exhaustion as a healthier alternative to drinking.

  Hmm, drinking.

  Lauren was surprised that alcohol hadn’t been the first thing on her mind. She licked her lips subconsciously. Not that it was an option, but Lauren felt less… need for it. The thirst was still there, but not like it was before. Maybe a few months sober had helped?

  Erin would be so proud; Here she was, finding silver linings after all.

  A cool breeze dried the sweat on her brow and carried the fragrant cypress trees to her nose. It wasn’t the pine and oak of her youth, but it was wild, untamed, home. Lauren sorted through her feelings while she walked, reaching her hands out absentmindedly to brush against the trees as she passed.

  Everything felt distant.

  Her memories, her life, the events before her fall. It all seemed like someone else’s story. Like she was reading it in a book, rather
than it being her own life.

  She stopped, sitting cross-legged against a large tree. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, to be fully in the moment. The soft loam of the forest floor made for a comfortable resting place, and the dappled shade and sunlight danced across her eyelids. She took deep breaths, holding them a moment before releasing them.

  A snapping twig startled her. She froze, holding her breath and listening as hard as she could. She had just convinced herself she was imagining things when a brightly colored shaped flitted behind a tree a few yards away.

  “Hello?”

  Lauren stood and self-consciously brushed dirt and leaves from her dress.

  Her wings flicked open and stayed there, twitching, ready to carry her skyward in a heartbeat.

  “Wait!”

  An attractive young woman, three or perhaps four years Lauren’s senior, peeked out from behind the tree in front of her and waved.

  “Sorry, I’m so sorry to intrude. I happened to be out here taking photographs and… well I saw you fly in.”

  The woman’s soft, clear voice had a pleasant british accent. Her short, walnut brown curls stood out against the lime green tank top she was wearing. The low cut garment showed off a tight, curvy frame that perfectly accented the snug khakis hugging her softly flaring hips. She had a small bag slung over her shoulder and an expensive looking camera in her hands.

  Lauren relaxed.

  “You speak english?”

  The woman laughed and stuck a hand out to her.

  “I am English dear. Valerie Chatwick, and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Corvidae.”

  Lauren accepted the firm handshake and smiled. The woman had an aura of trustworthiness. Her genuine smile was infectious and her mannerisms put Lauren instantly at ease.

  “So you’re a photographer? Are you here on vacation?”

  “You could say it’s a combination of work and recreation. Preferably more of the latter and less of the former. I actually took some shots of you earlier, I hope you don’t mind. I could show them to you?”

  Lauren nodded shyly, she couldn’t help herself. She had never been asked to look at candid photographs of herself. Not since her wings came in at least. She’d done plenty of planned publicity shoots with her crew while she was touring, but nothing this candid and unexpected.

  Valerie came over and flicked a switch on her camera. The clear display on the back of the device showed frame after expertly composed frame. Lauren found herself blushing. She looked good.

  One shot in particular captured Lauren’s attention. She was silhouetted against the clear blue sky, backlit by the sun. She really did look like an angel.

  “You like that one?”

  She nodded.

  “Good, I’ll get a print made up and framed for you.”

  “Oh you don’t have to do that….”

  “Oh nonsense, it’s my pleasure. I’ve got most of my equipment in my lorry up the way, if you want to join me? I know you’ve got those gorgeous wings and all but if you want a lift I’d be happy to offer my services?”

  “Uh, lorry?”

  Valerie laughed and started off through the trees.

  “A lorry is a truck, love! You’ll have to pardon my Britishisms!”

  Lauren hurried to catch up, mirroring Valerie’s laughter. The humor was not at Lauren’s expense, at least it didn’t feel that way. It felt more like, well, genuine happiness at being in Lauren’s company.

  The rugged vehicle that Lauren found waiting for them was an impressive sight. It looked like it could handle anything from the mountains of Colorado to the Serengeti in Kenya. The over-sized truck had a roll cage, a few big military looking jugs of water and extra fuel, even a shovel bolted to the side of it. In a word, it was awesome.

  Lauren had to use the sideboard to climb into the cab and was pleasantly surprised with how much room she found inside. A thin layer of starbucks cups, crumpled papers, and protein-bar wrappers littered the inside, but it was otherwise very well organized. Valerie had three separate laptops, including one that sat in a mount on her dashboard and seemed to be displaying weather data and a stream of related numbers. Radio equipment, a big first aid kit, and several changes of clothes lent the impression of a secret agent meets tomb raider lifestyle that intrigued her.

  “So, you’re a…?”

  “Photographer, mostly. Generally landscapes, sometimes wildlife, and when I see someone truly magical, I do people.”

  She winked at Lauren, who blushed a bit at the compliment. Any immediate follow-up question was drowned out as Valerie fired up the beast’s engine. It roared like a lion and carried the two off over the rocky Greek hillside.

  The two chatted idly as the afternoon passed. Lauren was shocked at how comfortable the conversations were. The women swapped travel stories for the first several hours. Lauren was impressed to learn that her host had seen more of the world than she had. Valerie had been to 87 different countries in her career, and had excellent stories from every single one it seemed.

  Lauren’s stories were less fanciful, more directly related to her gifts. Still, Valerie made her feel accomplished in her own right rather than turning it into a competition. When she spoke about the Vatican though, that was when Valerie truly made her feel special.

  “You’ve been inside the papal apartments!”

  Valerie was staring at Lauren, her sparkling emerald eyes green with jealousy.

  “Yes, but only for a day!”

  “Even so, they must have been magnificent. Tell me everything, oh please I insist!”

  The truck chewed on loose gravel as they drifted towards the edge of the narrow country road. Valerie made a nonchalant adjustment and put them back on course. Her driving had been this way since they started and Lauren was slowly growing accustomed to the careless wandering of the large vehicle.

  “Alright, but keep your eyes on the road will ya?”

  “Oh where’s the danger, I’d like to think I’m fun enough that you’d make sure I stuck around, no?”

  Valerie regretted her words the moment they passed her lips. Lauren fell quiet and looked out the window.

  “Lauren, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to presume that you’d use your gift. Or to make light of it. I... know you’ve lost people, people you couldn’t save. That was very insensitive of me.”

  Lauren couldn’t help it. She was reminded of the very real limitations on her power. Of the times it had failed her. She drew a shaky breath and tried to smile convincingly at her new companion.

  “It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “No, Lauren, it isn’t ok. More than that, it’s ok to not be ok. You’re only human.”

  Suddenly it clicked. Why Lauren felt so at ease with this near-total stranger. She treated Lauren like just another person. Like she was human. This simple revelation, this singular consideration for her humanity, touched Lauren in a way she hadn’t felt in far, far too long.

  “Hey... hey, you’re ok. You’re safe with me.”

  Valerie pulled the truck over to the side of the road and reached across to give her crying passenger a hug.

  “I’m sorry I’m such a wreck. It’s ok we can keep going.”

  Lauren sniffled and tried to dry her eyes, feeling foolish. Valerie’s expression held nothing but concern and understanding. Her new friend’s acceptance only served to encourage her embarrassing waterworks further.

  “You sure? We can rest a while, I could make some tea?”

  “No, please. Let’s keep going.”

  The pair rumbled off in silence. It took a while for Valerie to strike up conversation again, leaving Lauren to wonder at what she must be thinking.

  “So. Have you ever been to Macedonia?”

  “Macedonia? No, where is that?”

  Lauren looked at Valerie, who had burst out laughing.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Macedonia is where we are about to be. It’s one of the countries just
north of Greece.”

  She pointed out ahead of them. Lauren hadn’t been paying attention but sure enough there was a small border checkpoint visible a few miles distant. She panicked a little, how would she get across without being seen? What if Weyland was looking for her?

  “They can’t see me!”

  Valerie was surprised at Lauren’s vehement objection, but took it in stride.

  “Oh, um, alright then. Hop in the back, there’s a kind of bed set up back there.”

  Lauren wasted no time scrambling out of her seat, past the second row of seating and into a sort of loft area. she was confronted with a small mountain of pillows, blankets, and clothing.

  “This is a bed? It looks like a disaster area...”

  “I know, I’m so embarrassed! What on earth would my mother say? But it will have to do love, just uh… burrow down as best you can!”

  Lauren wormed her way as deep into the pile as she could. It was at least two feet before she hit what felt like a mattress of some kind. It was impossible to tell if her wings were fully covered, so she simply hoped the border guards wouldn’t look too closely.

  The truck rattled to a stop and Lauren waited with bated breath. Between the thick layers of cloth piled on her and the powerful engine she couldn’t hear anything. Time seemed to stretch on and Lauren grew more and more nervous. Finally, though, the truck started moving again. Lauren waited, unsure of her surroundings. She debated whether or not to emerge but decided to trust that Valerie would let her know when it was safe to come out again.

  A few minutes passed and the truck slowed down again. The next thing she knew Valerie was calling her name.

  “Lauren, we’re good to go! You can come out now.”

  Lauren clambered from the pile with an impressive lack of grace, and scowled at the gales of laughter that Valerie struggled to stifle.

  “Oh I am sorry about that.”

  Somehow, Lauren wasn’t sure that was entirely true. To be honest though, it felt good to laugh. Lauren found herself giggling while Valerie untangled her from bits of clothing that had gotten wrapped around her.

  “Oh!”

  Valerie’s cheeks turned scarlet.

  “Ahem, ah. Sorry!”

 

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