by Kiera Cass
Twenty
I SAT IN FRONT OF my vanity, playing with my hair. As per Valentina’s request, I’d dismissed my ladies for the evening, so, for the very first time, I was alone in my new rooms. I took a moment to close my eyes and appreciate the aloneness. The palace was never really silent, and I supposed that was one of the things I’d come to love about it. The fire was making crackles and sparks, and I could hear the distant click of footsteps above me. Outside the window, the city that came right up to the castle was far from settling. I heard horses on the streets, men calling out orders, and people laughing in the open evening air. If I focused, I could even hear oars slapping the waters of the river. Unlike the noise in the Great Room, these sounds were a welcome song.
My whole life, I’d found so much delight in dancing and tournaments and company that I never realized how lovely a moment of stillness was. I’d discovered it far too late.
I opened my eyes to the knock at the door and paused a second before realizing I had to tend to it myself. Valentina was smiling, wiggling a small leather purse.
“I hope you’re prepared to hand over your fortune, Lady Hollis. In my day I’d rob the gentlemen of court blind.” She walked past me without waiting for an invitation. While it irritated me to no end when my mother did that, it felt quite natural from Valentina, and I couldn’t help but feel it added to her charm.
“Not anymore?” I asked, taking a seat at the table in the greeting area.
She shook her head. “No. The men of court keep their distance now. The ladies, too.” She threw her little bag down and surveyed the room, peeking around the wall into the bed space before coming to sit. “You have beautiful rooms.”
“Well, they should be beautiful. These are the queen’s apartments.”
She looked around again, eyes wide. “Already?”
I nodded. “If I was to meet a queen, His Majesty wanted me to be dressed and jeweled and roomed to equal her,” I commented with a smile. “I suppose it’s only a matter of time before an official proposal.”
Her face was colored with surprise yet again. “He hasn’t given you a ring?”
“Not yet. He wanted to be cautious. But now it seems everyone knows his intent, so it should be happening soon.”
She seemed tickled by my situation as she reached over for my golden dice. “Your relationship with your king is most amusing. He seems to enjoy that you are . . . a free spirit, let’s say.”
I shrugged. “I wish everyone felt the same way, but I’m glad Jameson appreciates me. What is it that drew King Quinten to you? You didn’t really say much about it earlier.”
Her eyes were instantly distant. “I don’t talk about it much,” she admitted.
“Oh.” I squinted, confused. “I’m sorry if—”
“No, no. Not many people understand; it might be good if someone else finally did.” She sighed, toying with the dice but not looking up at me. “After Queen Vera died, most everyone at court assumed Quinten would remain single. He had a male heir, and as far as anyone could tell, he had no interest in remarrying. I think . . . I think it was possible he really loved her. Queen Vera, that is. I caught him smiling at her a few times when I was very young.
“I’d been planning to marry Lord Haytham. He liked me very much, and my parents approved of him wholeheartedly. And Quinten’s focus was entirely on making a match for his son. But it seemed reports of Hadrian’s fragile health spread farther than anyone thought they would. The few girls who were approached by the king were quite suddenly engaged. One of them, Sisika Aram, was a dear friend of mine, and I know for a fact her arrangements were made the very day her family was called to meet with Quinten.”
“Why?” I asked. “At the very least, these girls had an opportunity to be royal.”
“I asked the same questions myself then. Now I know they were very smart.” She was still looking away, her bitter tone making me think her love story had little to do with love. “Eventually, Quinten reached out to other countries, which he wasn’t keen on; he was positive he’d find a quality family in Isolte for his son. But he finally found someone for the prince, and their wedding is set for the winter.”
I smiled. “Snow is lucky in Isolte, right?”
She nodded. “We’re hoping for a thick blanket of it to bless them.”
That was sweet. Snow meant nothing here, nor did rain, nor did the breeze. But I would wish for snow for Hadrian’s sake.
“Wait. That doesn’t explain anything about you and King Quinten.”
“Ah,” she said, her smile humorless. “I knew less about the royal family than others did. As I said, I traveled frequently, and I kept to my own group of friends. But most of those friends got married, and I lost them as they left to go inspect their new households, start families—the things young brides do.”
“Yes.”
“So when it became clear the king was looking for a new wife, I was one of the few younger women at court who was eligible. I was charmed by the idea of a crown, by the image of a man in full regalia, and when my parents were made an incredibly generous offer for my hand, I was flattered.
“What I didn’t know until later was that Hadrian had a very scary bout of a fever a few weeks prior to my proposal. He was unconscious for three days. Quinten realized he needed another heir, and I was chosen, not for my wit or my singing or my pedigree. I am a healthy young woman, and I ought to be able to provide a child.” She sighed. “I ought to.”
I was stunned into silence. Valentina, who looked to me to have so many qualities worth loving, was maybe not really loved at all.
“Don’t look like that,” she said, rolling the dice for no reason except to watch them fall. “Most marriages in the crown work this way. If you like your husband, that is desirable. But what is necessary is keeping the line. And a state bed is as comfortable as any.”
I swallowed. “Can I ask you the rudest question I can possibly think to ask at the moment?”
She smirked. “I like you, Hollis. Yes, go ahead.”
“What happened to Lord Haytham?”
“He left court. He’s living in the country these days, and I’ve not seen him in three years. I have to assume he’s married by now, but I don’t know.” She looked down. “I wouldn’t mind so much if he was. But it’d be nice to know one way or the other.”
For a flicker of a second my thoughts went to Silas. His family would find property. They would make a name for themselves with the impeccable work they were producing. He’d catch the attention of some girl, and he’d break through her preconceived notions with those piercing blue eyes. He’d marry her.
Or maybe he wouldn’t.
How would I ever know?
“Can I ask you a rude question myself?” Valentina ventured.
My eyes fluttered as I focused back in on her face. “You’ve certainly earned the right to it.”
“You must tell me the truth. Your king . . . has he ever been unkind to you?”
“Unkind? Unkind how?”
She made a noncommittal gesture with her hand. “Just . . . unkind.”
I searched my memories. Maybe he’d been inconsiderate, but never unkind. “No.”
She pressed her hand against her stomach, on guard.
“Valentina?”
She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”
I reached across the table, holding her free hand. “Clearly, it’s not. If anyone can understand the pressure of going from court girl to queen, surely it’s me. Speak to me.”
Her pressed lips started trembling and suddenly parted in quick, shaking gasps. “Everyone keeps watching me. They’re waiting for me to give them another heir, and I know they whisper about me. But it’s not my fault!” she insisted. “I’ve been so careful!”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, looking down at that delicate hand across her stomach. “Are you pregnant now?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t bled in two months, but the symptoms . . . I’ve already been wit
h child twice before now and lost them. This seems different. I feel . . . I feel . . .”
“Shhh,” I urged, reaching out to hold her. “I’m sure you will both be fine.”
“You don’t understand.” She sat up, trembling and wiping wildly at the tears on her face. I thought she must be having some sort of fit, because her sorrow quickly shifted to anger, and she never stopped shaking. “If you speak a word of this, I will end your life, do you hear me? If it comes down to your life or mine—”
“Valentina, I’ve already told you how much I value privacy. I will keep anything you say between the two of us.”
The fight seemed to go out of her, and she slumped, propping herself exhaustedly against the back of her chair. Her hands were clutched across her stomach, not so much protective as prayerful. I’d never seen such haunted eyes.
“They think I think I’m above them,” she began. “All the women at court. They think I don’t speak to them because I’ve been elevated, and so I must assume I’m too good to associate with them. But that’s not true. It’s Quinten. He likes me to keep to myself.”
I thought of what Scarlet had said about her being in isolation for six months. I wondered if anyone knew her solitude wasn’t self-imposed.
“I’m sorry. Is that why you only have the one lady?”
She nodded. “We don’t even speak the same language. She brings me what she knows I need, and we’re managing to understand each other more, but she’s not exactly a confidante. I have no one to talk to, no allies, and I’m afraid.”
“Afraid?” For goodness’ sake, she was the queen. “Afraid of what?”
I could see the terror in her eyes, and she started shaking her head very quickly. “I’ve said too much. I . . . you can never tell.”
“Valentina, if you’re in danger, you can claim sanctuary in one of our holy buildings. No one is allowed to take you from there.”
“Maybe here,” she said, rising clumsily to her feet, “but not in Isolte. And they won’t care.”
“Who won’t care?”
“They always come. If you’re in the way, they always, always come.”
“Who?”
“They took my parents. And if I don’t produce an heir, it’s probably only a matter of time. . . .”
I grabbed her by the shoulders. “Valentina, what are you talking about?”
Something in her eyes shifted again, and now her face looked calm, resolved. I’d never seen anyone’s emotions bounce in so many directions so quickly.
“Be thankful for your beautiful little life, Hollis. Not all of us are given such a luxury.”
Wait . . . what was she trying to say? And who were they? Before I could figure out how to form my next question, she was standing, straightening her robe, and walking from the room.
I was left sitting in my hard chair, stunned. What in the world had just happened?
I tried to slow my thoughts down and go back through the conversation. Valentina may or may not be pregnant, and she’d already lost two babies since she’d been married to King Quinten. She was alone in Isolte. She had lost her parents through some dark means. And she feared for her safety.
I didn’t think I could go ask Valentina for any more answers, and even if I dared, I wasn’t sure she would be able to answer in her state. I knew who I could ask, but after last night, I didn’t know if I could face him.
I couldn’t help myself. I had to know more. I tore from the room, making my way to the back of the castle. The hallways were mostly empty, but even if they hadn’t been, I would have run through all of them. I hesitated in front of the Eastoffes’ door. For the sake of so many people, it would be wiser to walk away.
But if I did, there was no way I could help Valentina.
Behind the door, people spoke in low tones, but all noise came to an abrupt stop when I knocked. It was Lord Eastoffe who answered.
“Why, Lady Hollis. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?” he asked cheerfully. Over his shoulder, I saw his wife smiling, as well as their guests, save for Etan, who rolled his eyes and moved from the table. He wasn’t alone in his feelings, though. I was surprised to see even Scarlet looked skeptical and Sullivan lowered his gaze. Silas seemed unsure of how to respond to my unexpected arrival.
I could have spoken to any of them, I supposed. Scarlet was a girl; maybe she’d know more. But there was only one person in that room I could have trusted with such a secret.
“I’ve found I have a very specific question about Isolte, and I was wondering if I could borrow Silas for a few minutes. I promise not to keep him long.”
Lord Eastoffe looked over his shoulder. “Absolutely. Son?”
Silas stood and followed me into the hallway, his expression somber.
“I think there’s a door just over here?” I offered, finding it very difficult to look him in the eyes.
“Yes. That’s how we walk to the outbuildings.” I trailed behind him, thankful that the moon was still nearly full, as we made our way to the path outside the castle. We didn’t make it very far before he turned around.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” I asked.
“For last night. I don’t know what came over me, and I’m very sorry to have offended you.”
“Oh.” I blushed remembering that rather dazzling kiss. “You didn’t offend me.”
He raised a single eyebrow. “You bolting from the hallway indicated otherwise.”
I laughed. “I could have responded better.”
“You could have stayed,” he offered, a slight smile on his face.
The wind rushed out of me. “I think we both know I couldn’t have. I hardly know you, and even if I did, I’m betrothed.”
“I thought you said the king hadn’t proposed.”
I sighed. “No, he hasn’t. He can’t just yet, but—”
“Then what promise would you be breaking?”
I stood there, fiddling with my hands, trying to come up with an unshakable reply. I had none.
“I’ve been working so hard to convince people I’m worthy of the position I’ve found myself in. It feels like I’ve gotten so close, and I don’t want to fail. I’m afraid of what would happen if I do,” I admitted. “I didn’t always respond to things with fear. Now it seems to hang over every choice I make. Even the one to come here tonight.”
Silas stepped closer, and my breath temporarily departed from my lungs. It took me a moment to miss it. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Valentina,” I confessed, trying to focus on why I’d come in the first place. “She came to visit me tonight, and she seemed fine at first, but we were talking about her family and the king, and she suddenly broke down and started telling me things that didn’t make sense.” I took a deep breath. I couldn’t break Valentina’s confidence, so I had to be careful how I phrased everything.
“I was wondering if you knew anything about her parents. She kept saying ‘they always come’ and then whoever these people were took her parents. Do you have any idea what she means?”
At that he looked at the ground. “I’m afraid I do. Valentina’s parents were”—he paused, looking for the right word—“opposed to certain things happening in Isolte. They became a little too vocal about it, and they caught the attention of the Darkest Knights.”
The very words gave me prickles up and down my arms.
“Who are the Darkest Knights?”
“We don’t know. Some say they are nobles, others say they are gypsies. Some are convinced they’re members of the royal guard, but no one can be sure. Their identities have been carefully protected, which is a necessity, because when they come, their destruction is absolute. It’s inspired rage of the most acute nature in my homeland. I knew a man who lost everything in a fire supposedly started by them, and he went out to take revenge against someone he believed was a Darkest Knight. Killed an entire family.”
Silas paused, shaking his head. “He was wrong. Everyone knew Lord Klume to be a good man,
but his rank and closeness to the king made some believe otherwise. To keep the peace, King Quinten had Lord Klume’s murderer killed so no one would be tempted to take the law into their own hands again. But many people live in fear that if they say or do the wrong thing, these men will come for them. And as no one can be sure of their identities, it’s hard to know who you can trust.”
“So Valentina’s parents trusted the wrong people?”
Silas shrugged. “Possibly. Either way, when the queen’s parents disappeared, it put most people in their place.”
“Disappeared? Are they still missing?”
“No.” Silas looked into the distance as if he could still see it all. “Their bodies were left in front of the castle gate. Everyone saw them. I saw them. It was very . . . deliberate. And Valentina . . . when she made her way to their bodies, she made a sound that I’ve never heard come out of a human before. I still can’t imagine her grief.”
I shook my head. “No wonder you all chose to leave.”
“My parents just wanted to give us a chance,” he said simply. “Peace has felt like an unattainable dream for us most of our lives.”
I appreciated his hope, and I was pleased that living in Coroa would allow him a chance at a happy life. But my thoughts were still with Valentina; she didn’t have the option to stay. I placed my hand over my heart, thinking of her words. “Do you think the queen is in danger?”
Silas was quick to answer. “No. The king needs her. She’s the only path he has to another heir. You’ve seen Prince Hadrian. Every day that he still lives feels miraculous. Yes, he’s set to marry this winter, but . . .”
I considered this. “I don’t know. She seemed so . . . I don’t even have the proper words to describe it. Desperate and scared and anxious and tired. All of that at once and then some.”