“For answering the call to serve his country.” He raised his glass in a toast. “This time as a civilian.”
“You make it sound so noble.”
“It is.”
I sighed. “Thank you for letting me go back to my life.”
“You may take your place in the orchestra. You worked hard to get there. You deserve all the success you have coming your way.”
How nice of him, I thought, managing to avoid an eye roll. “I need to make the final round.”
“You will.”
“And find a place to live.”
He wiped his hands on a cloth and threw it on the counter. “We can help.”
“No, thank you.”
“Why not?”
I nibbled on my bottom lip. “I want to make my own way.”
“Listen, Emily, a love life is incompatible with what we do.”
“It worked for you.”
“Until it didn’t.”
“You admit it?”
He scratched his neck as though mulling it over. “Xavier shouldn’t have shared that with you.”
“I kind of guessed.”
“We put ourselves last and the work first. Just as it should be.”
“Do you love him?”
James grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair and for a second I thought he was going to leave. Instead, he brought it over and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Castles are cold, drafty places,” he said softly.
I tugged it around me, grateful for the warmth. Any more pushing for answers on my part could hinder my return to a life I cherished. With an unbearable heaviness crushing my chest, my thoughts fast-forwarded to a future where I’d spend my days alone. “Let me have one more night with him.”
James reached for his glass and took several sips. “Leaving behind the ones we love is the hardest thing we ever do.”
“You loved someone once?” At his look of surprise, I added, “A woman?”
“Yes.”
“What happened to her?”
His eyes darkened and a flash of sadness crossed his expression.
“You put the work before your wife?” I said.
“Who told you I was married?”
It had been the way he’d touched his ring finger. He realized his mistake and shook off a thought.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” I said.
He finished off his drink in one big gulp, and with that he shut down my line of questioning.
I pushed to my feet and approached him. “Let me have one more night with him, James, so we can say goodbye.”
He gave a subtle nod to show he would allow it.
Reaching for the bottle, I refilled his glass this time, the red liquid swirling all the way to the brim. “I want you to be there,” I said. “I want you to see how much we love each other.”
Looming over me, he looked devastatingly handsome. The moonlight poured in through the window, cutting across his chiseled features and illuminating his eyes.
His jaw flexed as he considered my offer. “You don’t want me in the room, Em.”
“Why not?”
“My control bleeds into those around me.”
I suppressed a shudder. “I want you to see what you’re tearing apart.”
James’ focus moved to the doorway. “Xavier, I cracked open the Chateau Margaux. It’s had plenty of time to breathe.”
I turned to see the man who had once been the center of my world. Xavier looked beautiful standing there, his dark golden hair shimmering in the soft light, his eyes reflecting kindness.
‘Thank you,” Xavier said. “Are you both getting along?”
“Yes,” said James.
“No,” I countered.
Xavier grinned. “Yes, you are.” He was holding my Strad in one hand and the bow in the other. “Play for me.”
My eyes shot to James to let him know I wanted him to see the pain he was causing Xavier…causing us both.
Xavier strolled in and handed me my violin. “I want to hear the music you played the day we met.”
The same music I’d played in the Underground when he’d been lying in a ball on the cold tile because of something Ballad had done to him. I thought it best not to voice that thought, though, and gave him a smile and a nod instead.
“I’ll play for you, too, James, if you wish.”
“I would like that,” he said softly.
The tension crackled around me as a prelude to the pain. The hours that followed would have me seeing these two men through a different lens. Knowing what they once were to each other, sharing glimpses of their past together, witnessing silent words spoken with smiles and knowing looks. I could already see the scorching history that sizzled between them.
Playing my Strad meant I could convey the agony that inflamed my soul in a waywords had failed to do. My heart was breaking, and nothing could be done about it.
I gave James a challenging look. “Oh, that other offer still stands…if you’re man enough to accept it.”
He smirked. “The question is Emily, are you prepared for the consequences if I do?”
How do I punish a man who has devastated my life?
Take away what he wants more than anything.
So it began like this…
I was directed to one of the castle’s many bedrooms, where I freshened up after grabbing a quick shower. I put on my bra and panties and nothing else. Damn the cold. This was my war and I was ready to fight.
Then I placed two chairs in the middle of the grand ballroom for my audience of two. I planned to invite them to attend their own personal concert with me as the main act—performing in nothing but my underwear.
Let James admire the curves he’d never touch, lust after my beaded nipples pushing through this skimpy bra. He may have tasted me but that was where our intimacy began and ended.
Next, I’d bewitch him with ethereal notes flowing from my Stradivarius—played by a vixen whose talent was going to blow him away.
Maybe James would even notice Xavier, the tortured man sitting beside him, who was about to lose the love of his life.
And, of course, I’d play for Xavier, to stir a need so powerful he wouldn’t be able to contemplate ever being parted from me again.
To taunt James’ desolate heart, I began with Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons,” beginning with “Winter.” I looked over to see the blackness in his eyes fade to grey as the notes flowed and resounded ethereally.
This was my voice…my unique form of expression. My violin was a living, breathing entity that was in touch with each emotion surging through me.
Starting out, my Strad seemed moody from having been separated from me, but now, as though offering forgiveness, it came alive in my hands—the strings bounding with joy.
I transitioned into Niccolò Paganini’s “Caprice No. 24 in A Minor” and caught that ghost of a smile on Xavier’s face as he recognized the piece from when we first met—the memories of that day still vivid.
His beautiful face drew me to him even now—the way he earned his place in the room beside James, the way his expression shared his admiration for me.
Both of us were balanced precariously on the verge of unbearable heartbreak.
Lowering the violin, I paused to read Xavier’s reaction.
“Not that I don’t appreciate the view,” he said, “but aren’t you cold?”
I ignored that. “Why did you ask me to play ‘Caprice’?”
Xavier looked wistful. “It takes me back to when we first met.”
“You were homeless,” I reasoned. “How can that be a happy memory?”
He sat up straight. “Because I met you.”
“And why were you homeless?” I whispered.
He swapped an uncomfortable glance with James.
I raised my Strad and dragged my bow over the strings dramatically, creating a horrible screeching sound. “You were running from…him.” I glanced at James.
Xavier pushed to his feet. “
Thank you for playing for us.”
I refused to be shut down. “Why did you leave Pervade?”
“What?”
James looked amused. “I think that’s what she calls us.”
Xavier gave an exasperated sigh. “This is old news, Em.”
“Pervade London, here,” I said, pointing at James, “runs the organization like a monastery.”
James crossed one long leg over another. “It’s best you don’t try to define us.”
“I’m sure you feel that way,” I said tersely. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around what it is you do.”
“That information is revealed on a need-to-know basis,” he said.
I looked at Xavier. “You left because James wouldn’t give you what you wanted…which was him.”
James glanced at Xavier. “We don’t need to rehash the past.”
I pointed my bow at him. “Your past is ruining my present.”
“Emily,” Xavier said. His tone held a warning.
Still pointing my bow at James, I said, “You missed him as much as he missed you.”
A pained expression flashed in James’ eyes revealing there was truth in my assertion. “Our work is far reaching.”
“What are you fighting for?” I snapped. “What are you sacrificing everything for if not so people can be with the ones they love?”
“You don’t see what goes on behind the scenes, Emily,” said Xavier. “No one does.”
James raised his hand to quiet him. “It’s irrelevant.”
Xavier stood and walked over to me. “Sometimes the world must be put first.”
“What do you do?”
“I gave you up,” Xavier snapped back. “That is what I do.”
“Love isn’t allowed at Pervade.” I let that sink in.
It was James’ rule.
“You didn’t expect to meet me,” I reasoned. “You didn’t expect to fall in love. You were just waiting until James came around and accepted your terms. I was collateral.”
James gestured to my hands. “You play beautifully.”
I ignored him and stared at Xavier. “I can have one more night with you. James has permitted it.”
Xavier opened his arms to me as if that would be enough. “Em.”
I pressed my Strad to his chest. “I’m dying here,” I said.
“That hurts me more than you know,” he admitted.
“You love him, not me.”
He stepped back. “Em, it’s not like that.”
“Then say you love me more.”
His expression showed his conflicted emotions, and it wrenched my soul.I shoved the Strad into his hands.
Pivoting fast, I sprinted out of the room.
If I couldn’t have Xavier, nothing mattered. I didn’t care about playing in an orchestra, didn’t care about where I would live, none of it mattered because my heart was shattered irreversibly.
We were over.
I ran blindly through the maze of hallways, rounding sharp turns, continuing on and on to put distance between us.In my head, the ghostly notes from my violin still played, the music haunting me with each step into the unknown.
Somehow, I was able to find the same bedroom I’d used before. After crashing through the door, I hurried over and flung myself onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow to hide my tears.
Minutes later, I heard the door open and felt the mattress dipping, then comforting fingers stroked my hair.
“Emily, please,” Xavier said, his voice shaky. “I can’t bear to see you like this.”
I braved a look at him. “I love you. I don’t understand why we can’t be together.”
He rose from the bed and paced the length of the room.
I pushed myself up against the headboard. “I want to spend every night with you. Wake up with you. Be there for you.”
“Me too.” He paused and offered me a smile. “More than anything.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“With my life.”
I swiped away a tear. “I believe you when you say your work is important. If this is what you want…if this will make you happy…”
“Oh, Em.”
Putting a hand to my chest, I whispered, “It just hurts so bad.”
He stared at me with a conflicted expression.“I talk to computers.” He gave me a rueful smile. “Stupid, really. Here you are in front of me…real, authentic, good.”
“I don’t understand. You mean you code?”
“No, it’s very different. When computers talk with each other, I interpret what they’re saying.”
“Computers talk?”
“Artificial intelligence.”
“What do you mean by that exactly?”
“Computers have evolved. They make decisions. Some even take action.”
“What’s it like talking with it?”
“With them.” He shrugged. “Intense.”
“You were talking with the AI at home? You played chess with it…I mean, them?”
“Yes.”
And I’d had no idea…
I was hit with the realization that Xavier’s far-reaching skill was why James was so possessive of him.
“Are they dangerous?”
“Potentially.”
“People need to know.”
Xavier shook his head. “That would cause chaos.”
A shadowy figure appeared in the doorway. It was James, and he looked furious.
Xavier turned and faced James’ wrath. “She knows.”
“You told her?” A muscle in James’ jaw twitched.
“Now she can be in my life,” said Xavier calmly.
“That was not the plan,” said James. “You were to let her go.”
“I changed my mind.”
The air between them crackled as tension scorched the air. I got off the bed and stood closer to Xavier.
“Why did you bring her here?” asked James. “To seduce her into something she doesn’t want?”
“She wants it.” Xavier raised his hands. “And so do you. I see the way you look at her.”
“Don’t even go there.”
“I knew that once you tasted her, there’d be no going back for you.”
“You’re recklessly playing with lives,” he replied coldly.
“You always get what you want, James,” said Xavier. “I learned from the best.”
“Is this what you want?” James moved forward quickly, grabbing Xavier and shoving him up against the wall. “This?”
“I want you to take her hard.”
“If I refuse?”
Xavier cupped James’ balls. “This tells me all I need to know.”
James pressed his lips to Xavier’s in anger. A moan tore from Xavier as they kissed. It was savage and cruel and forbidden, and this could have been hate playing out if not for the searing passion between them.
James pulled back. “Want more?”
“Fuck, yes.”
Both men struggled violently through another kiss, with Xavier resisting and then attacking James’ mouth with equal fervor, their tongues warring for dominance as James fondled Xavier’s cock.
I approached them.
I should have been consumed by jealously, but this was like stepping into a dream. I was seeing two strong men reveal their fierce chemistry as James thrust his pelvis forward to lock Xavier’s hips in place, while Xavier rubbed James though his trousers as they continued their sensual attack.
Their aggressive affection felt different, authentic…and even sacred.
They were beautiful together. Two fierce alphas caught in a violent tryst. Watching them made me feel voyeuristic, and caused my nipples to harden and my loins to ache with arousal at the view. My fingers traced my lips as though they were kissing me.
At last they broke apart, panting, and turned to face me as though only now remembering I was here.
Xavier shoved James off and sauntered over to stand behind me. “Give me this.” He reached for the ca
tch at my bra strap and unhooked it, throwing it to the ground.
I stood there with my breasts exposed and swollen. Glancing over at James, I saw his dark lust. The way he drank me in made my body tingle. He looked gorgeous with that foreboding stance, those broad shoulders both a threat and a promise that made my blood heat and skin flush.
Xavier knelt behind me and tugged down my panties. I let him, wantonly giving him the control to strip me in front of this man.
My body shuddered as Xavier reached around and pinched my nipples, tweaking them.
James watched it all, transfixed. “This is dangerous.”
Xavier cupped my sex. “The room is yours to control.”
“I’ve always given you what you want,” said James. “Made concessions for you. But this is…too much.”
“Why?” asked Xavier.
“Because it’s temporary,” he replied.
“Be honest.” Xavier wrapped his hand around my throat and gently squeezed. “Your cock has never been so hard.”
James’ eyelids became heavy. “You can’t sustain this.”
“Emily knows that it’s temporary, don’t you?”
I managed a nod, aroused, feeling the dampness between my thighs.
“I’ll meet you downstairs,” said James. “We need to talk about finding her somewhere to live.”
“There’s more than enough time for that,” chided Xavier.
James walked toward the door.
Xavier gave my butt a slap. “On the bed.”
I followed his command and sat on the edge facing them, naked and vulnerable, my focus bouncing from one man to the other.
Xavier looked defiant. “I’m giving you both what you need.”
James scraped his fingers through his hair as his gaze swept over my nakedness, lingering on my pert nipples.
My toes curled in anticipation.
Xavier placed his hands on my thighs and widened them. “Ballad, let go of your past and embrace this. Embrace us.”
Now they would see how wet I was.
“I’m sorry it’s cold in here,” whispered Xavier.
Despite being naked I didn’t feel the chill. I was too enraptured by these passing moments of daring eroticism.
“For you,” Xavier said softly.
Mesmerized, I watched James stroll over to the fireplace and lift a box of matches from the mantle. He removed a match and lit it, throwing it into the fireplace. A burst of orange danced in the hearth, a crackle of flames.
The Pervade Duet Page 16