“You never did like me,” I replied flatly.
She chewed on the thought. “You walk around like you’re better than everyone else.”
“You read me wrong.”
The sky opened up and rain poured over us. She was shielded beneath her umbrella, but I was getting drenched.
A gust of wind caught her umbrella and she fought to keep hold of it. Her violin case slammed to the ground. We both stared down at it. After a few moments, I picked it up and handed it back to her—for the sake of the instrument.
Of course, there was no thank you in return.
I headed away, off down the pavement, welcoming the downpour. Anything to hide these tears. Anything to wash away this day.
Please let Xavier be okay.
And if he was elsewhere it meant he hadn’t seen my message from Trafalgar Square.
Penn-Rhodes’ voice called out from behind me. Clutching a large black umbrella, he hurried to catch up.
“I wanted you to know, Emily,” he said, sounding out of breath, “that Patrick Woo was very impressed with your performance on the yacht. And he told me the audition you gave, the second one at the Barbican, was the finest he’s ever seen.”
I swiped a damp strand of hair out of my eyes. “I don’t understand. Why not me, then?”
His expression was sympathetic. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”
“And I wanted it so much.”
“I know, and I wish there was something else I could do.”
“Thank you.” I gave a nod. “For coming and saying these things.”
Anger flashed across his face. “Salme’s father made a hefty donation to the London Symphony Orchestra.”
So…Salme’s father had paid for her place. Not to mention the fact that her mum was a renowned member. I’d never stood a chance. Had James known this all along?
I blinked in surprise. “How is that fair?”
“I didn’t want you to think it was anything you did wrong.” Penn-Rhodes shook his head in disgust. “Don’t let such things change you, Emily.”
My nod was weak.
I’m already changed.
With his head bowed under his umbrella, Penn-Rhodes hurried back to the building.
I trudged home.
When I entered the empty house, I immediately headed upstairs to peel off my wet clothes and pull on a T-shirt. I would have worn one of Xavier’s, but all of his clothes had been removed.
Remembering the lone beer left over from when we’d had pizza a couple of weeks before, I headed downstairs. Now seemed as good a time as any to crack it open.
When I walked into the kitchen, I was stopped in my tracks by what I saw resting on the countertop—a chrome case in the shape of a violin. With trembling fingers, I unclipped the lid and pried it open. Within the velvet casing lay a sleekly designed and very modern violin, the color a gorgeous cobalt blue. The matching bow nestled beside it was equally exquisite.
A single card lay on top: One of a kind —created from the once lost design by Leonardo da Vinci.
In awe, I lifted out the instrument and ran my fingers along the strings. It felt light in my grip as I raised it up and slid the bow across it.
No… It sounded off…like it needed more than just tuning.
Beautiful in every conceivable way but not quite right…it was the echo that resonated. Such a shame that something so exquisite wasn’t as perfect as it first appeared.
But I didn’t care, because it came from him…my Xavier.
He would have been heartbroken when he’d heard what had happened to the Strad—the same one he’d left on my doorstep the night everything had changed.
I needed him like a poem needs a voice.
Xavier is my sky and you are my stars. I don’t want it to end.
Oh, my beloved James.
I sighed heavily at the beauty of this remarkable cobalt blue instrument, and I had a gut feeling that if I corrected the fault its music would astound everyone.
Just behind the F-shaped hole that every violin has on either side to enhance its acoustics, a corner of something white peeked out. I pulled on the paper and it slipped past my fingers, falling to the floor.
Carefully, I placed the violin back in its case along with the bow and then knelt to retrieve the envelope.
Easing up the seal, I slid out an invitation.
You are cordially invited to
Royal Court Manor
Montego Bay, Jamaica
Hadn’t Xavier tried to coax James into speaking with this very accent?
His connection to this place was now glaring as I recalled all he’d shared with me during those hours together in his castle. All that time I’d had my sights set on Xavier…
My thoughts swirled with the hopeful possibility that this invitation came from them. Perhaps they were trying to share the allure of crystal-clear blue waters, swaying palm trees, and the luscious taste of mouth-watering pineapple. All the while watching glorious sunsets as we took long walks along the pristine white-sand beaches.
More than all of this, I’d have the chance to fall into their arms again.
My beautiful men.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
—Rumi
For the Members of Vanessa Fewings’ Romance Lounge on Facebook
Emily
I removed my sunglasses and was almost blinded by the blue sky’s brilliance, anticipation swirling inside me as the tall brass gates swung open for my chauffeur driven car.
The estate’s long driveway was lined with palm trees and lush foliage. I lowered my window and let the warm breeze kiss my face, breathing in the exotic scents of Jamaica. The island’s extraordinary beauty had exceeded my expectations.
Royal Court Manor was impressive with its colonial-style design and tropical flower beds—a contrast to James’ castle in England. When I’d visited there, I’d never imagined I’d be seeking him out on foreign soil.
My stomach flipped when I realized how close I was to seeing them. It had been just over a week since I’d received the invite to fly here all the way from London. Yet it felt like a lifetime ago. My last note of responsibility before throwing caution to the winds had been my final exam. During my last days at the Royal Academy of Music, all I could think about was being back in their arms.
Six months ago, I’d met the beautiful and brilliant Xavier Rothschild in a chance meeting on the Underground at Piccadilly. That event had sent me spinning in a new direction. As time went on, our idyllic life had unraveled and I’d discovered he was not the man I thought he was.
Yet I loved him no less.
I’d fallen for two men for entirely different reasons. I loved Xavier Rothschild for his rare beauty and remarkable intellect that even now was startling to comprehend—his ability to interpret the language of artificial intelligence a rare gift.
I’d also fallen hard for his friend. James Ballad was a man of dangerous grace, his authority reaching all the way to the highest echelons of society. I’d personally witnessed that power and even now it sent chills down my spine to think of the influence he had on the world. I’d seen beyond James’ coldness and glimpsed a light he rarely shared. Getting to know him had been exhilarating. It was all I could think about.
Out the back window, I watched the chauffeur remove my luggage and violin case from the boot. I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart began to beat faster with anticipation, my skin flushing in response. I couldn’t wait to fall into their arms.
James and Xavier both had a complicated past. It was as complex as their futures…our futures. What had once seemed unimaginable had morphed into reality—a ménage à trois that saw three opposites melding together exquisitely in a passionate love affair.
These were the thoughts scratching at my mind as I tried to reassure myself that the decision to come here had been the right one. Not that I could have resisted being reunited with my Xavier. We were connected in w
ays I couldn’t define.
The car door opened and I climbed out, thanking the driver for fetching me from Sangster International Airport. Then I watched him drive away toward the gate.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and admired the well-tended shrubs and trees and the vibrant beauty of the colorful flowers. The exotic birdsong filling the air reminded me how far I’d come.
I lugged my suitcase up the stone steps and knocked on the ornate wooden door.
No one answered.
The door was unlocked. I stepped inside the foyer and was enveloped by the scent of tropical fruit mixed with ocean air. Excitement twisted my stomach into knots of uncertainty as I looked around the elegant interior with its tall palms resting in ceramic pots. A Louis Vuitton trunk was pressed up against a wall to lend a sophisticated touch. The décor revealed the owner’s desire to make this place into a home.
Dread worked its way into my chest. Why hadn’t Xavier come to greet me?
See, that’s the doubt you let in.
He wouldn’t allow me to get on a plane and fly all the way to Montego Bay if it meant I’d be in danger.
Would he?
The journey had left me grungy and I couldn’t wait to take a shower and freshen up. I welcomed the breeze from the ceiling fan whooshing above that helped cool the interior during the heat of midday.
Respectfully, I slipped off my shoes and left them beside my luggage and violin case.
“Hello!” Making my way barefoot through the house, I peeked into the vast dining room and then the cozy sitting room filled with lush palms, a long couch and a walled TV.
Following the sound of lapping waves, I continued on through the manor to the back of the house and found a door that led outside.
Oh, God, the beauty of it all…
There, beyond the garden and its sparkling pool, was a pristine beach lined with coconut palms. Beyond all those white crystals lay the ocean. To the right was a long dock where a sailing boat was tethered. I allowed myself a few moments to take it all in…
The sound of a sanding tool drew me away from the spectacular scene. I made my way along the rear of the house and peered into an open workspace.
A jolt of happiness hit me when I saw James…
In the center of the space hung an upside down boat—the name on its side was faded but I could still read it: Liberty. Some of its worn wooden slats were being refurbished.
James was bare-chested and wearing cream-colored slacks, his toned abs flexing as he dragged a Black & Decker sander along the edge of the boat. His thick hair fell forward in raven waves. I hardly recognized him with his jaw unshaven. His chestnut eyes were focused on the job at hand as he dragged the tool back and forward with impressive precision and strength.
At his castle, I’d seen evidence of his military service in photos captured of him with his fellow Navy officers. His love of boats should have come as no surprise.
Seeing a half-naked James looking sweat-soaked and scruffy was a contradiction to the usual bespoke tailored suits he insisted on wearing. Watching him show off his skill at fixing a boat was a reminder I never knew this man at all—not really.
His dark eyes flittered to meet mine, sending a thrill throughout my body; a delicious frisson…reminding me how easily it had been to fall for him. It was as though he was able to reach into my soul with one look and own me.
He turned off the sander and rested it on the table behind him.
“Hey.” I smiled.
“Emily,” he said with a flash of happiness in his eyes.
Then it was gone.
For a moment, he had seemed like the man I’d gotten to know when I’d experienced his kinder side. He’d spoken my name with feeling.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “How was your flight?”
“Fine.” It had been more than fine. I’d traveled first-class. “It was wonderful. Thank you for my ticket…for inviting me.”
I didn’t care that James was sweating or a little dirty from the work, I needed to be closer…needed to see evidence of the affection he’d shared our last few days together when he’d come to see we were all three perfect for each other.
Hurrying forward, I pressed my cheek to his chest, breathing in his soft cologne mixed with perspiration. Relaxing in his arms, I felt myself surrender again to this mysterious man. All he needed to do was soften toward me again. To remember what we’d had. To offer up a kind smile and conversation that would reassure this tired girl who’d traveled halfway around the world to be here.
Yet there were no strong arms wrapping around me in way of a welcome. I pulled back and stared up at him, my throat tightening with uncertainty.
“Your exams are over?”
“Yes,” I said, glancing around. “I graduated.”
“Congratulations. We’ll celebrate later.”
“Is Xavier here?”
James wiped his hands on a cloth and tossed it aside. “When was the last time you saw him?”
I swallowed hard. “When he saw me off to have dinner with Kitty?”
“Right.”
A feeling of unease crept over me, mixing with the lingering doubt.
“Do you want a drink?” His foreboding eyes studied me.
“No, thank you.” I was too nervous to keep anything down.
“We have a situation, Emily.”
“Oh?”
“Xavier…he’s missing.”
“What do you mean?”
“He left us.” He waved his hand through the air. “The organization.”
Left Pervade?
He refrained from saying what I knew we were both thinking: The last time Xavier had left him. This time, he had left because of me.
“When?”
“The day after you boarded Mr. and Mrs. Zane’s yacht.”
“You think it’s because of me?”
“I believe it’s because he thinks I wanted you to be there that day.”
“Why?”
He looked away. “I hinted at your usefulness.”
“That’s not what you meant, though.”
“What I meant was that you were good for Xavier.”
And I’d been the one to tell Xavier that James saw value in me…
“I can see why he might think it was your idea,” I said warily. “But I went on that yacht of my own accord. I was selected to be part of a concert from the Academy. It was about my career. Andrew Woo was a guest and as the senior conductor, he was the one who could get me into the London Symphony Orchestra.”
My hero, world-famous violinist Diana Zane, had also been aboard that night. After seeing her in concert as a child, I’d begun playing the violin. Not attending the event on board the yacht would have felt like a betrayal of the little girl I’d been who had once dreamed of playing before her idol. I’d sacrificed too much to give up that chance—studied for too many years to abandon my gift.
Though the night had turned deadly.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I pushed away the memory of the Russian man being shoved over the side of the yacht to his death. It had been a facet of Ballad’s identity I’d chosen to ignore because the raw truth of what he was capable of disturbed me.
I’d made a choice that evening…
Regret saturated my bones. Even after all that risk and betrayal and deceit, I still hadn’t landed a coveted place in the orchestra. It had gone to a fellow student, a girl whose father had paid for her place with a generous donation.
I’d been left with nothing.
No, that wasn’t true. James had given me the house in Primrose Hill and the memory of being there with him…with them…had been all I’d clung to over these last few weeks.
To think I’d honestly believed we were going to be reunited in Jamaica. The loss of this hope caused my heart to ache.
“I’ll explain it all to Xavier,” I said.
“We’re out of touch with him, Em.” His tone was harsh.
Pressing my palm to my
chest, I ran through the kind of danger Xavier could be in and the vulnerability he faced because of his genius nature. His complexity drove him to make perilous decisions. Like the one he’d made the evening I’d first met him. Stranded in Piccadilly Circus tube station with no money and nowhere to live, he’d risked staying with me for one night.
No words could convey the terror I felt for him now.
“It’s my belief—” James’ tone was filled with sadness. “Xavier feels betrayed by us.”
“That’s why you invited me here?” My throat tightened with the realization of James’ motive. “Us being here will draw Xavier out of hiding?”
“More specifically, you.”
James didn’t say the words I’d been expecting to hear—that he loved me.
Instead, all I’d found here was trouble and cold detachment.
My body slumped against the boat and it swung back on its structure. James stepped forward and caught me, his right arm wrapping around my back as he yanked me toward his chest. He held me suspended with his mouth dangerously close to mine, both of us captured in a moment of intimacy.
In his arms there came that familiar illusion that there was something special between us—a connection that should stretch beyond the confusion and have us finding forgiveness in each other. I saw the longing in his eyes, and his lips brushed against mine as though neither of us could prevent it.
“You’re back under my control, Emily.”
My nipples beaded against his firm muscles. “I thought that you and I…”
“No.”
“I’ll find him without you,” I breathed.
“Impossible. It’s Xavier, remember?”
Pushing him away and finding my footing, I said, “I can try.”
“Did he come to you?” James narrowed his gaze on me. “Has he gotten a message to you?”
“He gave me a new violin.”
“But other than that there’s been no contact between you?”
“The invitation?”
“I placed it in the violin. He wouldn’t know about it.”
The Pervade Duet Page 31