by Nikki Lane
“There’s Shelby,” I said, breaking away. I waved her to the table and introduced her to everyone.
She turned her head so only I could see her face.
“You two looked cozy,” she said.
“Don’t start.”
“What happened with Chris?”
She waved him off with her hand. “Asshole. Moving on.”
Shelby’s dating life gave me whiplash.
“Damn, I was really looking forward to going back to that beach house.” I glanced at Kieran, deep in some conversation with Scott. “Kieran was, too.”
She set down her martini. “I still can’t believe you two spent the whole weekend together and didn’t have sex once.”
“Well, it’s the truth,” I said. “There’s nothing going on between Kieran and me. We’re just friends.” I tore the cocktail napkin into shreds.
“Just friends?”
“Yeah. Just friends. I think I’ve had enough of the wild ones. Paul made sure of that.”
“Paul is an inconsiderate dick who should do humanity a favor and be sterilized.”
“Harsh.” I raised my hand for a high-five.
“I only speak the truth,” she replied, slapping my hand.
Scott slid into the seat next to Shelby. “Rose, how come you didn’t tell me about your sexy friend?”
Shelby’s face lit up like the Fourth of July.
“I didn’t?” I said.
Scott and Shelby—now there was a match made in fucked-up relationship heaven.
Just as I was checking the time on my phone, a call came in. It was Callum. My stomach dropped to my knees. It had been weeks since our date ended in disaster. Continuing to ignore him would be immature. Plus, I was curious as to why he would be calling despite the fact that I hadn’t returned any of his calls.
“Scoot over,” I said to Shelby, nudging her to move. She was still talking to Scott. “Shelby, move,” I said louder. I scurried out of the booth.
“Where are you going?” Kieran asked.
“Just going outside for some air. Be right back.”
The cool late-night air felt good on my burning cheeks.
“Hello?” I answered with a heavy tone of doubt.
“Hello, Rose. How’ve you been?” Callum’s silky voice blanketed me even over the phone.
“I’ve been fine. How about yourself?” Sound chipper, dammit. Or at least completely uninterested.
“Good. I know it’s late. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, not at all. I’m out with friends right now, grabbing a drink.”
“I want to see you again.”
I heard my name being called from behind me. I turned to see Kieran.
“What?” I asked Callum.
“I want to see you again.”
“Um…” Pace, pace, pace. “Now’s not really a good time.” I yelled silent exclamations at Kieran as he tried to talk to me.
“Okay,” he replied. “Will you call me when it is?”
“Sure.” I would say anything to get off the phone.
I hung up with the words goodbye still leaving my lips.
“What’s up?” I asked Kieran.
He stood with his hands shoved into his pockets. “Just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine. Just needed a breather.”
“Who were you talking to?”
“Callum.”
“Shit, not that guy again. Wasn’t his bedtime like three hours ago?”
“Why do you keep bringing up his age?”
“What did you say to him?”
He walked a few steps closer to me. His eyes had that glassy look.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Well you said something.”
“I said I’d call him another time.”
“Call him for what?”
“I dunno,” I said, my eyes flickering around for the right answer. “To talk? Why else do people call each other?”
It was the perfect moment for an interruption. Shelby flew out the bar door. “Hey,” she said. “Sorry to interrupt. I just came out to make sure you were okay.” Her eyes flickered between Kieran and me. “Maybe I should go…”
His eyes glazed over, and his stare shifted down to the sidewalk. “Right. Well, I’m going back in. You coming?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
We filed back inside, and Kieran kept his distance from me the rest of the night.
“I have to take a piss,” he announced.
He hopped up on the booth and stomped over the table as everyone shouted in protest, empty bottles toppling over. A few minutes later and he came stumbling back. He sat next to me, and I cowered into the seat.
“How about another dance?”
“I’m not really in the mood to dance.”
“Why?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Come on,” he said. “One more.”
He gripped on to my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. It was a fast song, but we swayed close together like we did before. Somebody bumped into Kieran.
“Sorry, man,” the guy said.
Kieran dropped his arms from my waist. “Why don’t you watch where the fuck you’re going?”
“Relax, dude,” the guy said, holding up his hands.
“Kieran.” I grabbed at his shirt and pulled him back. “It was just an accident.” I saw the raggedness in his face. I didn’t trust it. “I think it’s time to go.”
The guy backed off, and I managed to get Kieran to focus back on me. “Maybe we should call it a night.”
“Why?” he asked, smiling.
“Because I think you’ve had enough.”
He bent over, picked up an abandoned drink off the floor, and started to drink from it.
“Oh my God,” I cringed. “You did not just do that!”
He continued to drink, and I walked away, disgusted.
“Rose,” he shouted. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m leaving. Either you’re coming with me or you’re not.”
“You’re upset with me. Why?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “It’s late. And you’re acting like a dick.”
“I’m the dick?” He pointed to his chest, the drink still in his hand. “He bumped into me.”
“I’m leaving. You can find yourself a ride home.” I plodded over to the table to tell Shelby I was out the door.
“I’ll go with you,” she said, probably registering the distress on my face.
She whispered one last thing to Scott before getting up.
“You two are leaving already?” Scott bellowed.
Kieran plopped down next to him…or more like fell on top of him.
“Dude,” Scott complained. “Mind backing off my nuts?”
Kieran shot him a dirty look.
“You’re not leaving me here to babysit him, are you?” Scott asked me.
“No one’s gotta’ fucking babysit me,” Kieran slurred.
Obviously.
“Okay, Come on, Kieran.” I couldn’t just leave him there.
Scott gave him a bump with his shoulder. “Your girl’s talking to you.”
“She’s not my girl,” Kieran muttered. I ignored the comment. “I’m staying here.”
How will you get home?” I asked. “You all have been drinking.”
“I’m calling a cab,” Scott said.
“Fine,” I replied. “Then he’s all yours.”
Shelby and I made our way outside. We barely reached the car before I started second-guessing my decision to leave.
“You all right?” Shelby asked.
“Yeah,” I said, unlocking my car. “Just tired.”
She waited a few seconds before saying, “You don’t have to look out for everyone, Rose. You’re going to wear yourself out quick if you keep this up.”
I just stood there, hanging my head on the roof of the car. I didn’t need to say anything back. She already knew my story. I’d been
taking care of people ever since I could remember. I was only eight when Mom left. But old habits die hard, and my eagerness to take care of every lost soul I met haunted me.
“Anyway,” she continued. “I’ll call you later.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks for coming out.”
She smiled and got in her car. She rolled down the window after pulling out of the parking spot. “I’m not leaving until I see you drive off.”
“Okay, okay,” I relented.
I sat in the car, relieved that Shelby knew better than to drive off before I did.
Chapter 13
It was well into summer vacation and there I was, awake at early as fuck o’clock. The sound of a door closing echoed in my kitchen. I peeked through the window to see Kieran hop in his truck to leave for work.
We barely talked the last few weeks. Mostly because he dropped off the face of the earth. He left early every morning and came home after seven every night. Not that I was paying attention or stalking him from the comfort of my own home. We would catch each other once in a while. I would be going, and he would be coming home or vice versa. But it was always hey or what’s up or sometimes just a nod of his head.
I puttered around the house, finishing the laundry and dusting the furniture I never got around to doing. But that got old quick. My day really hit a high note when I saw the mail truck roll up to my driveway. I didn’t bother changing out of my pajama shorts and t-shirt. I didn’t have plans to leave the house, so why bother?
I shielded my eyes from the noonday sun and made the short walk to the mailbox. Shuffling through the envelopes, I had more than one piece of mail that wasn’t mine. It wasn’t the first time I had gotten a piece of Kieran Keller’s mail by mistake.
Kieran’s truck rounded the corner as I closed the lid to the mailbox. He barreled into his driveway, and the truck swayed to a halt as he put it in park. Something was up. I’d never seen him come home this early. It was like peak landscaping time or something like that. He barely acknowledged me as he made his way inside.
I let out a deep breath and crossed the street. I glanced at his mailbox, knowing that I could’ve just stuck the mail in there and been done with it. Yes, I could’ve done that.
But I didn’t.
I passed right by it and headed toward the front door.
What the fuck was I doing?
I had no idea, but I was rolling with it.
It took me a few seconds to summon the courage to actually knock on the door. When I did, I swayed in my spot, waiting what felt like hours for the door to open. A few minutes passed and nothing. I glanced over at my house. I knocked once more, and when there was still no answer, I gave up. He was obviously ignoring me. I turned on my heels to shove the mail into the mailbox like I should’ve done in the first place. The deadbolt unclicked, and I turned around to see Kieran squinting back at me.
He stood there, silent, one hand clutching onto the doorknob. He was shirtless, again, and had on a pair of gray gym shorts. One side of his hair was flat while the other was sticking up. A weird skunky smell hit my nose.
“Hey,” I said, unsure of what the point of my visit was. “Sorry to bother to you.”
Nothing. Not a damn word. He just stood there, staring at me with this look on this face that was completely unreadable.
I cleared my throat, feeling like a real ass for thinking this was a good idea. “I got some of your mail by mistake.” I held out the envelopes for him.
He took them from me, not even bothering to look at them. “Thanks.”
I tried to keep my eyes on him, but the perma-glare was too intense. “You’re home early.”
“I’m not feeling too good.”
“Haven’t been having any parties lately. Is everything all right with you?”
He snickered. “Now you’re complaining because I’m not being loud enough?”
“Come on,” I said, surprised by his hostility. “We haven’t talked in a while. What’s up with you?”
“Don’t worry,” he replied. “I’ll get to the lawn sometime this week.”
“That’s not why I came over here.”
“Then why did you?”
“To make sure you were all right.”
He looked past me, not giving me a response.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” I replied, feeling a little flush in my cheeks.
I managed to make it down the first step of the porch without tumbling over my feet when Kieran opened his mouth to speak.
“You want to come in?”
I hesitated for a few seconds. “Okay.”
Kieran stepped aside and waited for me to walk through the door. I slinked past him, trying to remember if I put on deodorant that morning.
He pushed the door shut and walked past me toward the living room. I shuffled past him, stepping over random things strewn on the hardwood floors—a pair of work boots, an empty case of beer, a shovel.
Kieran plopped down on the couch. I stood for a second, debating whether I should join him or take the armchair.
“Have a seat,” he mumbled, pointing to the armchair.
I sat down, relieved he made the choice for me.
We sat in silence for a few seconds as Kieran hunched over a bong, sitting on the coffee table.
“You’re getting high?” I said.
Kieran cleared his throat, picking up a small plastic bag off the table. “That’s a big, fat yes.”
That explained the smell.
He grabbed a lighter out of his pocket and lit the bowl. The weed burned a bright orange. He drew in a deep breath, inhaling an impressive amount of the white smoke. He held on to his breath and pulled the stem out to clear the rest of the smoke before exhaling what he held in his lungs.
“You wanna hit?”
I froze, the question taking me by surprise. There was no way I could. I was a responsible member of society. A teacher for goodness sake. I was supposed to be a role model for my students. Getting high with Kieran would be completely inappropriate.
“I’ve never done it before.”
“Never?” Kieran stared at me, holding the lighter in one hand and setting the bong back down on the coffee table.
“Come on,” he insisted, patting the space next to him. “You’re way overdue.”
I was a total sucker for peer pressure. I scuttled to the couch and sat next to him, grabbing the lighter from his fingers.
“Make it count,” he said as my thumb skirted over the metal flint wheel of the lighter.
My fingers had a thin layer of nervous sweat, so it took me a few tries before I got an actual flame. I lit the bowl and pressed my lips against it. I inhaled as much as I could hold, and Kieran pulled the stem out. The smoke felt heavy in my lungs, burning a little at the base of my throat. I passed the bong back to Kieran who took another hit. We both leaned back on the couch, a foggy haze lingering in the air around us.
“Oh my God,” I muttered, feeling an uncontrollable urge to giggle.
Kieran smiled. “You’re welcome.”
I rolled my head on the back of the couch to face him. “Have the words bad influence ever been used to describe you?”
He stared back, a detached look on his face. “All the time.”
After a few minutes, he slinked up off the couch and disappeared out of my line of sight. I considered following him, but I couldn’t seem to make my brain convey that message to the rest of my body.
The refrigerator door opened, and I heard the clink of beer bottles. Kieran reappeared in the living room with a few cartons of leftover Chinese food, two beers, and a box of Swiss Rolls. He plopped the stuff on the coffee table and handed me one of the beers and a fork.
“I see you’re prepared.” I grabbed the food container he didn’t choose. Cold chicken and broccoli. “Is this something you do on the regular?” I shoved a forkful of chicken into my mouth.
“Do what on the regular?” Kieran asked, peering up from his container.
“Get high and then eat cold takeout.”
“Every once in a while,” he replied.
“Where’ve you been?”
“I’ve been here.”
I looked around at the mess. “Doing what exactly?”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure,” I muttered. “Where’d you go to college?”
He tossed the empty container on the coffee table and ripped open the box of Swiss Rolls.
“No,” he said. “I didn’t go to college.”
“Why not?”
“Just wasn’t for me, I guess.”
“Did you apply anywhere?”
“A few places.”
“Like where?”
A sly smirk spread across his face. “Why do you want to know so badly?”
“Because I want to know.”
“Princeton. Full ride.”
“Princeton?” I laughed. “Come on. Be serious.”
“I am,” he replied with a straight face.
My stomach had enough with that last bite of broccoli, and I set the food container down. Kieran held up a package of Swiss Rolls, but I declined. Anything more in my stomach, and I’d be heaving over the toilet.
“What?” he asked as I stared at him with my mouth gaping open. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I scoffed. “You got a full ride to Princeton and you didn’t go?” How’s that for a buzzkill? “What were you going to major in?”
“Earth, Atmospheric, and Planetary Sciences.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied, shaking his head.
“What happened? Why didn’t you go?”
“Just didn’t work out. What about you?” he asked. “Where did you go to college?”
“Not Princeton,” I replied.
Kieran picked up the bong again. He took another hit and then offered it to me.
“I’m good,” I replied, shaking my head.
Kieran erupted into a coughing fit. He set the bong back down and lounged back into the couch.
I nestled deeper into the seat. “Why don’t you ever wear a shirt?”
“I’m not going anywhere, so what’s the point?”
“I don’t mind,” I replied. “I’m fine with you not wearing shirts.”
Shit. Please tell me those words did not just come out of my mouth.