If You Let Me: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance

by Nikki Lane

  Kieran looked at me dead-on with squinted, bloodshot eyes, a shy smile creeping over his face. He ran a hand over his beard.

  “What are you doing this weekend?” he asked, changing the subject.

  My mouth hung open and strange sounds fell out as I tried to remember how to speak.

  “Nothing,” I finally sputtered. “I’m not on the schedule at work for a while.”

  “Do you want to take a ride with me?” He took a swig of his beer.

  I turned my gaze toward the muted television. “Sure,” I said, not bothering to ask where.

  Chapter 14

  When I called Callum back a few days ago, I had no intention of meeting him again for dinner. But the man asked the question like yes was the only answer. And even though I was sure I wasn’t doing him any favors, I felt like I owed him some kind of explanation for how our date ended. Or at least some semblance of an explanation.

  It was a good thirty-minute drive to Callum’s house. For once, the GPS didn’t try to guide me off an embankment, and I arrived at the right place on time. The house was ginormous, and it wasn’t even the one he lived in all year round. The fact that he had enough houses to have to label them boggled my mind.

  I puttered my car into the driveway, almost deciding to park on the street. This car did not belong next to this house. It was insulting really. A Benz or a BMW maybe, but not a beat-up Honda Civic.

  I took one good look in the visor mirror, pumping myself up enough to get out of the car. I’d gone casual that night, skinny jeans and a top. The last few days I’d been going through a funk. I was feeling more like myself, and it was inspiring the little confidence I had going into this whole thing.

  The house was specially lit outside, highlighting the ornate landscaping. Kieran would have probably approved. I rang the doorbell, taking one last deep breath. The huge door creaked open, revealing Callum in all his splendor. He wore jeans and a crew neck shirt. His dark hair was slicked back and parted on one side.

  He smiled. “You’re just in time.”

  He reached for my hand and led me into the foyer. The mouth of a wide staircase was nestled in the middle and wound up to the second floor. There were large rooms on either side, a study and a formal sitting room.

  “Your house is amazing.” He didn’t let go of my hand as we walked to the kitchen. “You live here alone?”

  “I bought it many years ago when I was still married. But yes, now I stay here alone. My children are all grown and on their own now.”

  My stomach sank.

  The kitchen smelled like fresh cut lemons. There was a large island, topped with creamy marble. The dark cherry cabinets went all the way to the ceiling. I imagined it was the dream kitchen of any cook. Even I could appreciate the commercial range and double wall ovens.

  “You cooked?” I asked, noticing the pots and pans.

  “I did. I hope you like chicken.”

  “I think everybody likes chicken.”

  “Have a seat.” He nodded toward the spot on the counter where they were two place settings. “Wine?”

  I slid into the stool. “Sure.”

  Callum grabbed my plate.

  “How did you learn to cook?” I asked as he plated the food.

  “I learned in college,” he replied. “To save money, my girlfriend and I would cook all our meals instead of going out.” He set the steaming plate in front of me and grabbed the other one.

  The smell hit my nose—lemony, creamy goodness.

  He sat down beside me. “I hope you like it.”

  I took a bite. “It’s really, really good.” And it was. It was un-fucking-believably good.

  “I used to love to cook a lot for the family. When I was younger and had more time on my hands. Do you come from a big family?”

  “I’m an only child. What about you?”

  “It’s just me and Paige. Our parents died when we were very young, and we lived with our grandparents until they passed.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” he replied. “It was a very long time ago.”

  We quietly lingered over our empty plates.

  “Let me clean up,” I said, reaching for his plate.

  “No,” he said, grasping my hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I don’t mind, really.”

  “Thank you but it will get taken care of.”

  I acquiesced and let him lead me outside to the backyard. Lounge chairs, padded with thick cushions, rested on the cobble pavement.

  “Should I light a fire?” Callum asked.

  “Okay.” It was quiet out here…and dark.

  Callum grabbed some firewood and got to work on the fire pit. It didn’t take him long to get the flames big and high. Even fire couldn’t resist reacting to him.

  He sat down beside me on the oversized loveseat. My heart beat a little quicker.

  “It’s a beautiful night out tonight,” I said.

  “It is.” He didn’t take his eyes off me.

  I wasn’t sure where to look.

  “You’re pretty good with that fire.”

  He smiled. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

  I was running out of places to set my line of sight. I had to meet his face.

  “It’s so quiet out here,” I said. “Probably don’t have to worry about crazy neighbors in a neighborhood like this.”

  “I like the quiet. Part of the reason I liked this house so much was because it’s so private. It’s like having the whole street to myself.”

  “I definitely can appreciate that.”

  “I’m more of a homebody anyway.”

  “I’m glad you called me back,” Callum continued.

  “Yeah, I thought I at least owed you an explanation.”

  “I just don’t understand why you were so upset. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  “It’s not that,” I said. “Although, I’m still filing that whole incident under things-I’d-rather-not-remember.”

  “Then what?”

  “It was something the waitress said to me, when you sent her into the bathroom to check on me.”

  Callum didn’t say anything, but I noticed the slight downward turn of his mouth. He shifted in his seat.

  “She alluded to the fact that you…” How did I say it without being completely insulting? I already ran out on the guy in the middle of a date. “That you’re known for dating younger women.”

  “The waitress told you this?”

  I nodded. When I said it out loud, it seemed so silly. Why did her opinion make such an impression on me?

  “I won’t lie to you. I do enjoy the company of women your age.”

  I wanted to stick my head into the fire.

  “So, it’s true?”

  Suddenly, the waitress’s bizarre behavior made sense. Had she been in my situation with Callum the week before?

  “Does that bother you?”

  The fire popped and a few flames spit out. Callum leaned in closer and tucked my hair behind my ear. He smelled glorious, and his blue eyes were sinking into my mine.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I guess it shouldn’t.”

  But didn’t it? Was I wasting my time here? The conversation I’d had with Kieran kept echoing in the back of my head. How had he been so perceptive?

  He leaned in a bit closer, and I closed my eyes. His lips met mine. His hand cradled my neck while one of my hands rested on his soft beard. His kiss was good, so good I couldn’t believe we had done this already and I couldn’t remember.

  When we finally separated, we settled by the fire for the rest of the night. He didn’t ask me to go inside, or up to see where “the magic happens”, or even to stay the night. And I couldn’t help but to think how this could be a nice change of pace for me.

  My phone chimed and I checked it to make sure it wasn’t Dad. I stifled a laugh when I saw Kieran’s text.

  “Sorry,” I said, tucking my phone back into my pocket.


  My phone chimed again, and I forced myself not to look. Seconds later, it started ringing.

  Callum stood up. “I’m going to get some more firewood.”

  I answered the call.

  “What are you doing?” I said into the phone.

  “Why aren’t you answering my texts?” Kieran said. “I’ve sent, like, 3 memes.”

  Kieran and I had engaged in a meme battle several weeks ago.

  “I’m busy,” I said, impatiently.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m…out. Running errands for my dad.”

  “At this time of night?”

  Callum was walking back from the stockpile of wood.

  “Kieran! I have to go!”

  “Wait,” he said.

  A few seconds later, another text. Kieran had sent another meme. I burst out laughing.

  “I’ll talk to you later,” I said, still smiling.

  I ended the call just as Callum added another log to the fire.

  “Everything okay?” he asked, sitting down in the opposite chair.

  “Yeah.”

  I felt like an idiot with this smile plastered to my face.

  “This friend and I are in the middle of this ridiculous meme war.”

  “Meme war?”

  I gulped the last of my wine and set the glass down. I needed to drive home tonight, and I was not going to have a repeat of our first night together. How long would it take before I felt safe to drive? My palms itched for my phone. Kieran had thrown some bombs, and I needed to fire back soon. If not, I’d get overtaken.

  “Rose?”

  Callum looked to me expectantly.

  “What’s a meme war?”

  It was so stupid that I didn’t even know how to explain it.

  “It’s just a dumb game,” I said. “It’s pretty childish.”

  “My kids know a lot more about these things than I do.”

  And that was the clincher.

  I squirmed in my chair. Callum was good-looking, settled, successful. But you couldn’t make a square peg fit into a round hole. My thoughts that night kept drifting. And what’s more, the meme war with Kieran was seeming less ridiculous than starting any kind of relationship with someone thirty years older than me.

  “I’m guessing your kids are about my age?” I dared to ask.

  I was becoming more and more comfortable with getting the hard questions out of the way.

  Callum sat back and hitched one leg over another. “Probably. My eldest is almost twenty-six.”

  I nodded, the urge to flee growing stronger. Sex was one thing. But I wanted more than that eventually. And I wasn’t in the mood to survive another relationship that would go nowhere.

  “I’m guessing that’s not something you expected to hear,” Callum said.

  He studied me, his expression soft.

  “Yeah,” I said, feeling like a dope.

  I’d ignored my gut. Something just never really felt right. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but I knew it was something.

  “I think I should go.”

  I gathered my things, happy I’d only had the one glass of wine. Callum walked me to my car.

  “Thanks, Callum. I had a really nice time.”

  “I have a feeling this is goodbye.”

  I fussed with my keys. “This isn’t going to work.”

  Callum smiled. “Maybe in another life.” He kissed my forehead. “Get home safe.”

  I thanked him again and got into the car. As Callum started to walk back into his house, I searched for another meme to send to Kieran.

  Chapter 15

  “That’s what you’re wearing?” Kieran asked.

  I looked down at my outfit. “Yeah, why?”

  “That won’t work.”

  “Maybe if you told me a little more about where we are going…”

  “Think flexibility.”

  “Flexibility?” I let out a sigh. “Okay.”

  I turned back around and headed inside to change while he leaned against his truck and waited. This time I came back out with black yoga pants, a gray racer back tank, and sneakers.

  “Better,” he said, opening the truck door.

  I hopped in, still wondering where we were going.

  “Is it a long drive?”

  “About an hour.”

  I cracked my knuckles. “Will you tell me when we get close?”

  He chuckled. “It’s killing you right now that you’re not in control, isn’t it?”

  I looked out the window. “I just want to make sure we’re not on our way to skydive, or watch a cock fight, or you’re not kidnapping me to some weird underground bunker.”

  He scrunched his face. “A cock fight? Who do I think I am, anyway?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Your unpredictability can be jarring.”

  “I promise you none of those things are going to happen.”

  I tried to let it go, but the cuticles around my fingernails couldn’t take any more abuse. “Can I get a hint?”

  Kieran rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, you’re impossible. Stop being difficult. Don’t you trust me?”

  I gave the question some serious thought and decided it was best not to answer.

  “Thanks for all the confidence.”

  The farther we drove, the more heavily wooded the roads became. Kieran made one last turn onto a gravel driveway. The sign read Ponte Park and Wildlife Refuge. He pulled into a parking spot, and I met him around the bed of the truck.

  “Ready?” he asked. He grabbed a backpack and strapped it on.

  “Ready for what?”

  I’ve heard of Ponte Park but never took the drive to see it. It was near the shore and known for its great walking trails.

  “I’m taking you under the bridge.” He grabbed a bottle of sunblock out of his bag.

  “What bridge?” I looked around, scrunching my eyes as he showered me in spray. “I don’t see a bridge.” I coughed as I inhaled a mouthful of it. “Okay, okay. I think that’s good. It’s like five o’clock in the afternoon.”

  “Better safe than sorry.” Kieran sprayed himself. When he was done, he took my hand. “Just follow me.”

  The smell of the tall pine trees filled my nose while the birds chattered in the sky. A barn owl hooted somewhere up high. It was late in the day when the heat had settled. Kieran led me away from the entrance to the main trail, still holding on to my hand.

  We started making a slow descent down the grassy hill. The grass got higher the farther we walked. I looked back a few times, no longer able to see the spot where we started. “Are you sure you know where you’re going?”

  “Absolutely,” he replied, not bothering to look back.

  “But this isn’t even a trail.”

  “Every here of ‘off the beaten path’?”

  “I like the beaten path. It’s beaten for a reason.”

  “Not much of a risk taker I take it.”

  “Risk?” I laughed. “Let me put it this way. When it says use within seven days of opening on my almond milk, I’m using it within seven days.”

  Thirty minutes later and I was huffing and puffing for air.

  “You okay?” Kieran asked.

  He moved through the trail quicker than I did but always made sure not to leave my side.

  “Great,” I said as enthusiastically as possible while still being able to breathe.

  The tip of my sneaker caught a rock buried in the dirt. I lurched forward, falling right into Kieran and almost knocking him down.

  He steadied me back on my feet. I brushed the loose hair of my ponytail out of my face and gave him a meek smile.

  “Maybe you should hold my hand the rest of the way,” he said. “I don’t want you breaking any bones.”

  “I’ll be all right. I just have to find my inner outdoorsy girl.”

  A half hour later and we reached a clearing. A small brook babbled at the foot of the level ground. A few large boulders were scattered around. Flowers of pink,
purple, and white were in full bloom.

  “What do you think?” Kieran asked, taking off the backpack.

  “This is beautiful.”

  He sat down on one of the boulders. I took the next rock while he grabbed two bottles of water out of the bag.

  “I thought you said there was a bridge.”

  “There is.” He pointed up.

  Camouflaged by a canopy of trees was the bridge perched high above us. “Why is it here?” I asked.

  “It’s part of the main trail.”

  I could hear the faint sounds of people as they walked across it. “It’s amazing down here.”

  “I thought you’d appreciate it.”

  I took a sip of water. “How did you find this place?”

  Kieran plucked at a tall blade of grass and ran it between his fingers. “My grandfather. Before he got too sick he used to take me here to his secret spot.”

  “Do you come here a lot?”

  “I used to…not so much lately.”

  We rested for a few minutes on the rocks. I took my sneakers and socks off and dipped my toes into the brook. Kieran didn’t say much, just stared at me as I rambled on about how old the trees were and pointed out every bird I spotted.

  “You ready to go?” Kieran asked.

  “Already?” The peacefulness down there was striking.

  “I’m getting hungry,” he whined.

  The walk back up was even harder. Kieran had to pull me by the hand for the last fifteen minutes. By the time we reached the top, I wanted to collapse. Nothing like a nature walk to point out how out of shape you were.

  We stopped at the first diner we found. It was a small place with an old-fashion neon sign. But the parking lot was full—always a good sign.

  He leaned his elbows on the table and crossed his arms. His emerald eyes focused down at my plate. “Are you going to finish that?”

  I looked at what was left of my food. “Nope. It’s all yours.”

  He scooped it up and shoved the rest of it into his mouth.

  “Does your family live around here?” I asked.

  “Yeah, not far. About fifteen minutes.”

  “Do you go home a lot?”

  He shrugged. “Once in a while.

  I couldn’t imagine not seeing my dad at least once during the week.

  “My sister’s getting married. So I guess I’ll be going home for that.”