by Nikki Lane
I worked for a few hours until I was too tired to do anymore. The power was still out, and it felt like the seventh circle of hell in the house. I grabbed a glass of water and headed back out to sit on the porch. Dad called and said his power was back on. That was a huge relief. His insulin needed to be refrigerated. Aunt Sarah was there when he’d called, so I didn’t have to rush to check on him. I watched as Kieran and the rest of the guys finished moving most of the tree out of the way. When they were finished, Kieran peeled off his sleeveless shirt and used it to wipe the sweat from his face. I pretended to be concentrating on my phone as he walked back into his house.
Another cold shower later and I searched through my fridge for something to eat. Still no electric and things were starting to spoil. Most of the area was still without power, so ordering out wasn’t an option. I shuffled through the pantry, looking for the soup cans that were part of my lame emergency kit. Probably should have added flashlight and batteries to that list as well.
The sun was setting, and I huddled next to my gas stove, stirring Chicken Noodle soup in eighty-degree weather. A knock rapped on the back door. I stilled, feeling a little uneasy since the whole neighborhood would be pitch black in just a few minutes. I peered through the slats of the mini blinds covering the glass. Kieran.
I pulled my finger back and hesitated before opening the door.
“Hey,” he said when I just stood there silent.
He was all cleaned up.
“Hey.”
“Just checking to make sure you were making out okay.”
“I’m fine.”
He nodded. “Some storm, huh?”
“Yeah, some storm.”
I could see he was struggling, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
“Do you mind if I come in for a minute?”
I took a deep breath. “What for?”
“I want to talk about last night.”
I moved away from the door so he could get through.
Kieran scrunched his face. “Smells like Christmas in here.”
“It’s the candles. I only had ones left over from the holiday. They’re all burning at once, so it’s making for an interesting combination.” I turned the stove off. “Want some soup?”
“Soup?” he asked, surprised. “No, thanks.”
Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so hungry, either.
I leaned my butt against the counter and folded my arms. Kieran stood just inches from me.
“Rose, how I acted last night to you. I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Fine.”
Fine—the quintessential way a girl tells a guy to fuck off. Second only to whatever.
“Fine? Is that all I get?”
“What I really want to say is that I understand. But I don’t. I don’t understand how you’re normal one minute, and the next it’s like you’re a completely different person.”
“I know,” he replied.
“You can talk to me, you know. Tell me a little about why you do the things you do.” I fanned my face, the heat only adding to my aggravation. “I might even be able to help…if you let me.”
“I’m sorry.” He crossed his arms, too. “I wish I could explain it to you. But I can’t.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
He didn’t respond.
I turned my back to him. “You should go.”
I blew out one of the candles, the smell too overbearing. The smoke snaked up and burned the inside of my nose.
“Julie was my brother’s fiancée.”
I turned back around to face him. “I don’t remember you mentioning you had a brother.”
“I never told you. I don’t talk about him much.”
“Why?”
“Because he died last year in a car accident.”
There was a sadness to his voice that made my heart ache. The ruggedness of his face dissipated, and the pain of this conversation was set in his eyes.
“I haven’t seen Julie since the funeral. Seeing her again…” He didn’t finish the thought. He didn’t have to. The tone of his voice said it all.
The right words to say escaped me. Maybe because there were no right words to say. “Kieran, I’m so sorry.”
“We can’t both be apologizing.” He managed a small smile, and I couldn’t understand how. He closed the space between us. “It’s not an excuse. But I didn’t want you to think that’s how you deserved to be treated. Because it’s not.”
His eyes searched mine with a desperation I wished I understood. I stilled as he edged his face closer to me. He paused, our lips almost touching. Our mouths met, and my whole body tensed. It lasted just a few seconds, and then he pulled away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I just really wanted to kiss you.”
A rush of blood went to my head. This wasn’t right, was it? Kieran and I were friends, and that’s how I liked it. So why did kissing him feel so good?
He leaned in and kissed me again. This time I let my mouth open and felt his tongue brush against mine. I wrapped both arms around his neck. At that moment, I didn’t care about anything except the way I felt kissing him.
My hands grazed his strong shoulders and arms. He propped me on the kitchen counter. His eyes soaked me in while his hand brushed the side of my cheek. The tension between us melted away. I had been physically attracted to him from the start. But this—this was something different.
“Kieran…” It was hard to talk with his lips traveling down my jawline to my neck. I closed my eyes, my body aching for him to keep going. The thoughts wouldn’t stop rushing my head. “Do you think we really should be doing this?” I hated the question as soon as I asked it.
He pulled back. “Why not?”
“We’re neighbors. Isn’t that some kind of unspoken rule?”
“I’ve never heard of that rule.”
“And we’re friends.”
I pulled back and bit my lip, trying to fight this internal debate that was dwelling deep inside of my head. Part of Kieran’s appeal was his unruly ruggedness. But there was a faint hint of something dark in his eyes; some jagged part of him that I hadn’t discovered yet. It was intriguing, but also made me a little apprehensive.
“That’s ridiculous.” He held my face with both of his calloused hands. “I want you, Rose. Right now.” It looked like it pained him to say it.
He kissed me hard, pressing my face against his.
“Do you have anything?” I whispered, his lips still on mine.
He looked back confused. And then it hit him. “You don’t?”
“No,” I said, still kissing him.
He stopped. “I’ll be right back.” He left in a flash and ran to his house while I waited on the counter, trying to hold on to my nerve. He was gone for less than thirty seconds, a handful of condoms in his hand.
I raised my eyebrows at his overambitious bounty. He shrugged and dumped the pile on the counter, reserving one in his pocket.
I steadied my arms around his neck as he lifted me up from the counter. I hitched my legs around his waist, and he carried me to the bedroom. He let me down, my body sliding against his. He bent his head low so that our foreheads met. I tugged at the back of his shirt, peeled it off over his head, and tossed it on the floor. My fingers felt for the grooves in his stomach, the light hair around his navel soft on my skin.
I looked up at him, and for the first time since we met, his eyes lightened. I ran my hands around the waist of his shorts, grabbed the condom from his pocket, and tugged them down. They weren’t even completely off as he was unhooking the clasp to my bra. He wedged his hands between the waist of my pants and jerked them down to the floor while I ripped the foil packet with my teeth. I edged toward the bed, sat down, and kicked my legs free of the material.
Kieran planted each arm on either side of me. His lips searched my neck and shoulders as my hands coaxed his boxer briefs off. He hooked his hands under my arms and guided me farther back in the bed
.
Our faces were just a hair’s distance apart as he hovered over me. I could feel the cold metal of his necklace, bobbing against my chest as I slipped on the condom. Our eyes were sealed on one another.
“I want you, Rose.”
Our chests heaved up and down, breathless, unrelenting.
“I know,” I whispered. “I want you, too.”
His fingers hooked the hem of my panties and slid them down. He positioned himself in between me, our eyes connected by an invisible thread. The moment I felt him inside of me a rush of adrenaline hit me all at once, and I had to take a deep breath to steady myself. I let out a small moan, digging my hands into the sheets of the bed. Kieran was gentle at first, letting me get used to what he was offering, which was a lot more than I was used to. He burrowed his head into my neck, pumping faster the harder I dug my fingers into his back.
He stilled, taking a moment to kiss me before maneuvering me on top of him. A line of sweat fell from his forehead. I rocked at a steady pace as he clutched on to my waist. It wasn’t long before I reached the point where I felt like I was going to explode. Kieran grabbed a handful of my thighs as he fell with me, his body jerking underneath mine. I lurched forward and rested my head against his chest, feeling it rise and fall, hearing the pounding of his heart. I lay there until his pulse steadied, inhaling the sweet smell of his warm skin. His fingers grazed along my damp back, sending the goose bumps flaring along my skin. I carefully detached our bodies and laid my head in the crook of his arm.
The lights flickered on and the air conditioner kicked in. A smile slid across my face.
“What?” Kieran mumbled.
“This day ended in a surprising way.”
His fingers moved to my hair, sending me into a state of complete relaxation. “Good surprise, I hope.”
“Without a doubt.”
He smiled and I nuzzled in closer to him.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, slipping out of the bed.
I scooped up Kieran’s t-shirt off the floor and put it on. I walked to the kitchen, bringing the collar of his shirt to my nose and smelling the remnants of his cologne. I grabbed two glasses of water and walked back to the bedroom where I found Kieran fast asleep.
Chapter 20
It was Saturday morning, the day of his sister’s wedding. Kieran had already left for an early morning job that he couldn’t get out of. He rarely worked on Saturdays, but he insisted that he couldn’t turn the offer down. He seemed on edge for the last few days, but I didn’t press him about it. He was out of the door by six a.m., and I rolled over to catch a few more hours of sleep. The ceremony started at one, and we had about an hour drive.
When I woke up three hours later, the house was still empty. Kieran’s suit hung from the door of my closet. I trudged into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and didn’t see any sight of his truck. I showered and painted my nails, still waiting for him to come home. I thought about calling, but figured I was overreacting. Guys take like, what, fifteen minutes to get ready? He still had plenty of time.
It wasn’t until my hair and makeup were done that I started to get a little nervous. It was nearly eleven thirty and still no sign of him. I called his phone but found it ringing in a pair of his jeans, lying on my bedroom floor. There was no way he would miss his own sister’s wedding, right? If I were a sister and my brother missed my wedding, it would be unforgivable. So, I lingered in my flannel robe and slipped on the new platform pumps I splurged on, wanting to wear them as long as possible to get my money’s worth. I plopped down on the bed and waited—hoped—that Kieran showed up soon.
At twenty minutes to noon, I heard the back door open. Kieran came barreling into the bedroom, already removing his dirty clothes. The room smelled like fresh grass and gasoline.
“Cutting it kind of close, aren’t we, Keller?”
He didn’t stop to talk and dashed into the bathroom. Ten minutes later and he was showered and shaved. I stood up from the bed, still in my robe and heels. He stopped dead, standing in his boxer briefs.
“What?” I said, grabbing my dress off the hanger.
“I didn’t know they made flannel dresses.”
“Very funny.”
He grabbed his shirt while I shed my robe. I reached for my dress and gently stepped into it, not wanting to snag the material on my heels. I could feel his eyes on me again as I pulled the zipper up. “What now?”
Kieran smirked. “That’s the dress you’re wearing?”
I panicked and looked down at it. “Yes?”
He walked toward me, his shirt just about buttoned all the way. “You are fucking beautiful in it. I’m going to have a hard time keeping my hands off you.” He kissed me, and I gently pulled away.
“That’s very sweet,” I said, smiling. “But we are going to be super late.”
He looked up at the ceiling. “Right.” Another ten minutes to put on the rest of his suit, and he was practically ready to walk out the door.
“How do I look?” he asked after putting on his shoes.
My mouth dropped open at the sight of him. The suit hugged his body just right. His hair was brushed back instead of its usual state of disarray, and his beard was tamed. His emerald eyes popped out against the cream-colored dress shirt. The only trace of landscaper left was the roughness of his hands.
I cleared my throat. “You look amazing.”
He pulled me in close, pressed both hands on my backside, and kissed me. I fell deeper into the kiss, grabbing at the lapels of his jacket. He smelled fresh and soapy.
“If we weren’t so damn late,” I said, “I’d take you right here and now.”
He kissed me again, his fingers grabbing the ends of my hair near the small of my back. “Just promise me something.”
“What?” I asked, still smiling.
“Don’t leave my side for too long.”
“Afraid I might run off with one of the groomsmen?”
He smirked, but it was shallow and brief. “I’m serious,” he continued. “My family can get a little intense.”
“Okay,” I replied.
Like I wasn’t nervous enough.
We piled into my car, since Kieran’s truck was filthy. After his usual routine of checking every mirror and double-checking to make sure my seatbelt was tight enough, we were finally on the road. We had forty-five minutes to get to a place an hour away. Kieran didn’t say much on the ride over and neither did I.
When we pulled into the church, the parking lot was overflowing. I checked myself in the mirror one last time before getting out. Kieran reached for my hand and led me up the steps and through the double doors. A few people stared at us as we edged into an available pew all the way in the back. I thought we would sit a little closer—it was his sister after all—but he seemed content right where we were.
The ceremony was beautiful, albeit a little long. When it was over, the bride and groom made their way down the aisle. Kieran’s sister did a doubletake when her eyes fell our way. She looked beautiful in an ivory satin gown. Her blonde hair was swept back in a loose updo.
The crowd piled out of the church. But that didn’t stop Kieran from pulling me through a sea of people right to the exit.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he continued to drag me into the parking lot. “Don’t you want to say hello? Or maybe congratulations?”
“I’ll see them at the reception.”
I pulled my arm away and froze in the middle of the parking lot. “Kieran…”
But somebody was calling his name behind me. I looked back to see an older woman, probably the same age my mother would be. She wore a slate, taffeta gown, and her dark brown hair was pulled back. She trotted toward us.
“Kieran,” she said, smiling.
“Hi, Mom,” he replied.
She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She turned to me, her green eyes a direct reflection of her son.
“Mom, this is Rose. Rose, this is my mom, Maggie.”
> “Hello, Rose.” She gave me a warm smile and a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too.”
She turned to Kieran. “I’m so glad you made it. You look very handsome.”
Kieran shifted his weight from foot to foot. “We were just headed to the reception.”
“Well, that’s not for another two hours. We’re all going to head on over to the house for some pictures. Why don’t you two meet us there?”
Kieran said no the same time I said sure. I gave him a look.
“Great,” she said, beaming. “We’ll see you there.”
* * * *
Kieran’s parents’ house was just a few minutes from the spot where Kieran and I looked for Cape May diamonds. It was a large home with yellow siding and black shutters, a white picket fence lining the parameter. It fit in with the rest of the neighborhood, known for its ornate Victorian gingerbread homes.
We had to park the car a few blocks down, since the streets were littered with beach goers, enjoying the ocean and sand just a few hundred feet from the house. Kieran held my hand like he was afraid I would be sucked into some invisible vortex as we headed to the front door. A nervous wave buzzed throughout my whole body.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
He kept quiet and didn’t seem too happy about this unexpected visit.
“Fine,” he mumbled. “Just want to get this over with.”
He crept through the front door like he was expecting someone to pounce on him. The living room was decorated to fit the theme of the house. There was an oversized white brick fireplace with a large oil painting leaning on the mantle. The couch was floral and held too many pillows. A curio sat in the corner, filled with collectables. The skinny plank hardwood floors creaked as we made our way to the kitchen.
A large group crowded around a few plates of food on the granite countertops. Everyone stopped to look at us as we entered the room, most of them sporting surprised looks to see Kieran. He didn’t let go of my hand as I was reluctantly introduced to aunts and uncles. Relative after relative bombarded him, asking him questions like how are you doing these days? and how are you feeling? He answered with the same nervous response—fine—and cut every conversation short. I took it that most of them hadn’t seen him since his brother’s funeral. I remembered getting the same unwanted attention from people when Mom left. And even though I knew they meant well, I hated it.