by Tosha Damaya
We're better off as friends.
It broke her heart to hear those words, so she left his house without making her presence known. Now she was glad that she didn't convey her feelings to him.
Sydney made it home, stripped out of her clothes, and was just about to hop into the shower when there was a knock on her door. Grabbing a cotton nightgown, she slipped it on before answering the door. It was Zeke.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as he walked into her apartment.
"I saw you leave my house. Why didn't you stay?" he asked.
We're better off as friends. "You were busy on the phone, and I didn't want to interrupt,” she said, looking up at his face. It was a little battered from the altercation with Davis, but he was still handsome. "I just wanted to talk about what happened at the restaurant." And to tell you I love you, she silently added.
"I didn't mean to fight him; I just wanted to talk to you, Syd."
"You could've just walked up to me and asked, instead of acting like a caveman. You could've gotten arrested."
He laughed. "I know a good lawyer that would've gotten me out."
She didn’t find it funny.
"What's wrong, Syd?" he asked, stepping close to her. He was so much taller, so he bent down so that they were at eye level. "Listen, I'm sorry that I started a fight, but you know that I don't like Davis. Why were you with him?"
"Why were you with Danielle?" she asked quickly.
"I was there because she manipulated me into coming. I told you that Danielle and I were no longer a couple. She said that she needed some legal advice, but she only wanted to talk about getting back together. I was just about to leave until she pointed out that you were there."
Now Sydney felt senseless. It was obvious that Danielle played her. This whole horrific night wouldn't have happened if it weren't for her.
Sydney was tired, emotionally and physically. A part of her just wished that she and Zeke could backtrack to when he first asked her to have a baby. She wished that she would've said no and that they would have never crossed that boundary. She was left confused and disappointed.
Sydney stepped back away from Zeke. "This was a mistake. We should've never tried to have a baby together. I think you should wait and see if you find a woman that you love and want to marry and then attempt to have a baby with her. I want more than what you're offering. I realized that tonight."
"Do you want it with Davis?" Zeke questioned. "He's not good enough for you, Syd."
"You don't think anyone is right for me, Zeke. I'm not getting back together with Davis."
"And what if you're already pregnant," he asked, staring at her flat belly.
Sydney shrugged her shoulders. "If I am, then I am. I would carry the baby and raise him or her with you just like we planned."
Zeke nodded his head. "Are we good? I feel like there's some tension between us, Sydney."
She tried her best to smile. It wasn’t sincere. “It's just been a long day and night. If you don't mind, I'm going to bed."
Taking that as his cue to leave, Zeke walked towards Sydney and gave her a brief kiss on top of the head. Sydney followed him to the door and locked it behind him after he left.
It felt like a goodbye. Sydney walked back to her bedroom and cried until she drifted to sleep.
Chapter Eleven
Over the next month, Sydney and Zeke barely spoke or saw each other. On the rare occasion that they got together, it was always uncomfortable and awkward. Sydney wasn't trying to avoid Zeke, but she wasn't seeking him out like she used to. She needed some distance. Instead, she spent more time with her sister, brother, and parents. Her business took up the other half of her time. It had been doing so well that she considered buying the empty store beside her flower shop and expanding.
She still spoke with Zeke's family, and even spent time with Ethan when he came and visited. She was shocked when Sierra and Ethan went on a date together. Sydney tried to get details, but Sierra wouldn't tell her anything afterward. The one thing Sierra couldn't deny is that she had a certain glow on her face the next day.
Sydney was sure that Sierra was still seeing Ethan, but was trying to keep it hush-hush. They were currently at their parent's house for dinner, and while Sydney was helping her mother set the table, Sierra was in the living room giggling on the phone. Their mother noticed Sierra’s behavior as well.
"Your sister has a boyfriend."
"I know. I think she's dating Zeke's little brother Ethan," Sydney replied, placing the silverware on the table.
Her mother smiled. "I think that's wonderful. Sierra needs a good man to ground her. How is Zeke doing? I haven't seen him in a while."
Sydney shrugged her shoulders. "He's okay."
Theresa waited for her to elaborate more. Sydney usually gushed about Zeke until someone told her to be quiet. "Did something happen?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
A few minutes later, they all sat down for Sunday dinner. Sydney's father Samuel sat the head of the table, and their mother sat the other end. Sydney and Sierra sat next to each other while their brother, Jonathan, sat across from them at the other side of the table.
Small conversations were being held as the platters of food were being passed around. Theresa spent all day in the kitchen so that her children could have enough food to take home for leftovers. Sydney was handed the garlic mashed potatoes from her father, inhaled the scent, and became ill right away. Rushing, she ran into the half-bathroom located near the kitchen.
She was still throwing up when Sierra came in with her. Sierra held her hair and rubbed her back as she vomited. After a few moments, nothing was left in her stomach, and she was able to stand back up to wash her face.
"Are you okay?"
"It’s just a stomach bug," Sydney said, brushing it off.
Sierra followed her sister out of the bathroom and back into the dining room. Sierra knew what was wrong, but didn't want to say it while they are having dinner with their parents. She decided to wait and tell Sydney that she was probably pregnant.
Sydney allowed Sierra to drive her SUV back to their apartments. She still wasn't feeling well and just wanted to rest her eyes. To be honest, her stomach had been feeling a little queasy for the past few days, but today was the first time she’d vomited as a result of her illness.
"Sierra, do you mind stopping to the pharmacy? I need some Pepto-Bismol.”
Sierra peeked over at Sydney and shook her head. "I'll go to the pharmacy, but we're not getting any Pepto. Your ass needs a pregnancy test."
Sydney sat up straight in the seat. "I'm not pregnant," she proclaimed. Sydney hoped that she wasn't, but she wasn't too sure. It hadn't crossed her mind until Sierra said something.
"I think you are. You got sick at dinner, Syd."
Sydney rolled her eyes. "People get sick all the time. So when we both had the stomach virus as kids, we were pregnant?" she replied with sarcasm.
"You weren't having unprotected sex as a kid, stupid. Tell me this, when was your last period?"
Sydney thought it over and realized that she didn’t know. She was still trying to convince herself that she wasn't carrying Zeke's baby. Having a baby would complicate things even worse than what they already were.
"Cat got your tongue?” Sierra said, pulling into the parking lot of the pharmacy.
Sierra and Sydney got out of the car and walked inside. Sierra led the way, locating the aisle with the feminine products, and found the pregnancy tests. "What kind should we get?" Sierra mused, looking at them all. She had never been in this situation and didn't know which one was best.
"Just pick anything," Sydney rushed out. She didn't like the looks people were giving them. It was worse than buying condoms at a store. The other customers must think they were sluts.
Sierra looked around and noticed an old couple giving them judgmental looks. "What the fuck are you staring at?" she shouted, causing the old woman to jump.
"Sierra,"
Sydney chastised.
"What? They should mind their own damn business."
Sydney wanted to leave the store, so she grabbed the first test she saw. Sierra snatched it out of hand. "Put that cheap, generic shit down."
Sierra looked again and picked up a name brand test. “You'll use this one.” She wiggled it in the air. "Let's go see if I have a niece or nephew coming."
≈
Twenty minutes later, Sydney was pacing the living room, waiting for the results. "Has it been enough time yet?" she shouted towards Sierra, who was still in the bathroom. Sydney decided that she wanted Sierra to read the test because she was a nervous wreck.
Do I want to be pregnant? It wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to her, but the timing wasn't great. She and Zeke weren't the same, and she didn’t know how they would raise a baby together now.
But then again, she could picture their child. Maybe a son that would look like his father or a daughter that was daddy's little girl. She was so confused, but deep down she knew that even though she and Zeke were going through a rough patch, she still loved him, and she still wanted to give him a baby.
"It's done!" Sierra shouted.
Sydney ran to the bathroom. "What does it say?" That pregnancy test determined her immediate future. Determined if she was going to be a mom or not.
Sierra held the test in her hands and took a deep breath. "It's negative, Syd. I'm sorry."
"It's negative? Well, that's a great thing, right?" Sydney questioned.
Sierra shrugged her shoulders. "That's not for me to determine. How do you feel about it?"
How do I feel? She walked out of the bathroom, went to her living room, and collapsed on the couch. Sierra came and sat beside her.
"I would lose my freedom if I had a baby," she voiced softly to Sierra. "And I would lose a lot of sleep," she said, coming up with another reason to be happy.
Sierra nodded her head. "Yeah and babies cry and puke a lot, too."
“Poopy diapers probably are horrible to deal with also," Sydney added, making Sierra laugh.
Both women were quiet for a moment, lost in their thoughts. Sydney couldn't shake the feeling of being disappointed. She wanted to be pregnant. "I still want a baby, and I want one with Zeke. If I have any children, I want them with him."
Sierra smiled to herself and got up off the couch. She went back into the bathroom and obtained the positive pregnancy test. She walked back to the living room and gave it to Sydney.
"I lied, Syd. Two lines means you're pregnant," Sierra said with a smile.
Sydney stared at the test and back at her sister. "I'm pregnant?"
"Yes, Ma'am. You're going to be a mommy."
Chapter Twelve
Zeke was going over some case notes with Brian when there was a knock on his office door. He didn't want to be disturbed and almost yelled at the intruder until he saw that it was Sydney peeking inside.
"Are you busy?" she asked before coming in.
Zeke was never too busy to see Sydney. "No, come on in." He noticed that Brian was watching Sydney, so he decided to introduce the two of them. "Brian, this is Sydney. Syd, this is my co-worker Brian."
Sydney smiled at the younger gentleman. "It's nice to meet you, Brian. Have you been working here long?" she asked politely.
"Only a few months. Zeke has been a teaching me the ropes."
"Then you're in good hands. He always bosses me around. "
They all chuckled and then silence fell upon the room. Brian got the feeling that Zeke needed to be alone with his friend, so he left the office. "I'll catch up with you later,” he said before shutting the door behind him.
Sydney walked around, looking at some of the items on Zeke's bookshelf and pictures on the wall, gathering enough courage to speak. On the other side of the room, Zeke watched her for a moment. There was a certain radiance about her today that he hadn't seen before. He always enjoyed observing her. The start of summer time was his favorite part of the year, because it allowed her to show off her beautiful chocolate skin tone.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your meeting," Sydney stated, finally turning to face him.
"You didn't interrupt anything. I was just going over some notes with Brian. I'm glad you're here. We haven't spoken in a while, Syd," Zeke commented. He noticed how distant they were becoming, and he wasn't happy about it. "I feel like I'm losing you. What can I do to fix it?"
"I needed some space. I apologize for pushing you away."
"Is it something I did? Is it because of the fight? I've been apologizing since it happened."
Sydney shook her head. "No, it's not you."
"How about I leave work early and take you out to lunch, and we can talk," Zeke suggested. He was already moving to turn off his computer and gather his belongings.
"I can't do lunch right now. I have a doctor's appointment."
"An appointment for what?"
"I'm pregnant.” She waited for Zeke's response.
Zeke froze when he heard the words. He looked back to Sydney and was mesmerized by the grin on her face. She was the happiest he had ever seen her. There was a light glisten in her eyes.
"You're pregnant?"
"I am."
Zeke was speechless. He didn’t know what to think. She was pregnant, and he was going to be a dad. Is it okay for a grown man to cry?
“Say something. How do you feel?”
He was ecstatic. He was hoping that she ended up pregnant, but when she never said anything a couple of weeks after their last encounter, he thought they were unsuccessful. He looked at her stomach in the fitted blouse to see if there were any signs of a baby. He didn’t notice any change.
"So, we're having a baby?"
Sydney nodded her head, confirming his question. "We're having a baby."
Zeke rushed over to Sydney and spun her around the room. She laughed and giggled as he shouted that he was going to be a daddy over and over again. "What time is your appointment?"
Sydney looked at her watch. "In about thirty minutes."
Zeke walked to his desk and called his secretary. "Cancel my schedule for the rest of the day. I'm leaving the office," he said quickly before hanging up. He wasn't going to miss any moments with his baby and was going to the appointment with Sydney.
≈
Dr. Miller estimated that she was approximately six weeks along. It was surprising to her and Zeke. Sydney couldn’t believe that she had a life growing inside of her. Zeke was already being overprotective and asked multiple questions at the visit. Sydney had to practically push him out of the office.
After the appointment, they drove to a nearby restaurant for a quick lunch.
“Do you realize, that in the future, whenever we're together driving, we'll have a baby in the backseat with us? There's so much that needs to be done before he or she gets here."
Zeke nodded his head in understanding. "I don't want you to worry about anything, Syd. Just take care of yourself and our baby. I want you to be stress-free, your baby-daddy will handle everything."
Sydney giggled. "Please don't refer to yourself as my baby-daddy."
Zeke laughed with Sydney and pulled into a parking lot. The two of them got out of the vehicle, walked in together, and went up to the register to order. Sydney's mouth started to water as she looked at the menu board.
"Can I get a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke?" she requested.
Zeke shook his head. "No, she'll have a salad with low fat dressing. Bottled water instead of coke".
Sydney looked at him like he lost his mind. "I don't want a damn salad."
Zeke ignored Sydney. He ordered a meal for himself and paid the cashier. "You have to eat healthy for the baby."
I am going to kill him by the time I deliver the baby. She walked away from him and sat in one of the booths around the corner. Zeke came with their food a few minutes later. When he sat down, she got a whiff of his sandwich and ran to the bathroom.
All of the stalls were occupied, so s
he ran outside and heaved in the grass.
"Let it out, Syd. You'll feel better in a few minutes," Zeke encouraged. He was rubbing her back, helping to ease the discomfort. “Feel any better?"
She nodded her head. "I'm good now. I don't think the baby liked the way your food smelled.”
He laughed. "Yeah, I threw it away before coming to check on you."
Zeke made sure that Syd was okay before they went back inside, and he ordered a salad, and they ate together.
≈
Lunch ended, and Zeke drove back to his office so Sydney could pick up her vehicle.
"You sure you're okay to go back to work? Maybe you should head home," he suggested.
"I have a business to run."
He nodded his head. "Just call me if you need anything," he said before giving her a kiss on her forehead. Sydney closed her eyes and savored the physical contact between them.
Sydney went to work and organized the inventory and ordered new supplies for the store. Sierra had classes tonight, so she worked beside Paris and Mia, a couple of high school students. She was happy when nine came, and she was able to close the store and head home.
After a quick shower, she sat down on the couch to watch some television, but ended up falling asleep ten minutes later.
Zeke found her like that two hours later. He had been calling her cell phone, and when she didn't answer, he started to panic. He used Sierra's spare key to get into the apartment and was glad to see that she was fine. Turning the television off, he gathered Sydney in his arms and carried her to bed. He took off his clothing, leaving himself in only his boxers, and climbed into bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her tiny body. Pretty soon it would be much larger as his child grew.
"Sydney," he whispered.
"Huh.”
"I think you should move in with me."
"Ok-ay."
Zeke shook his head and smiled. It was obvious that she wasn't fully awake, because the Sydney he knew wouldn't readily agree to move out of her apartment to live in his house. He closed his eyes and decided to bring up to her again in the morning. But even if she didn't move in, he wasn't spending another day away from her, or his baby.