A Sense of Guilt (Carlisi Familia Book 3)

by Maia Dylan

  “Th-the Battaglia family know she is here. They told her father where he could find her. He sent us to talk with her.” Filipe shot a look back at Rosa. “He wants you to come home, Rosa.” The man switched to Spanish, no doubt believing that Rosa would be the only one in the room to understand. “Your abuela, she is old and unwell.”

  Gino’s heart clenched at the sound of distress Rosa made behind him.

  “Sofia might die before she sets eyes on her beloved granddaughter once more. You need to—”

  Gino swung his arm fiercely and backhanded Filip into silence. “You don’t speak to her, you hear me, Filipe?” Gino spoke in flawless Spanish to let him know he understood him before switching back to English. “You don’t deserve to speak to her, fuck, you aren’t even worthy of having her beauty in the same goddamn room as you. Rosa is not going back with you, but I want you to take a message to her father from me. My name is Gino Esposito.” He saw the spike of awareness and fear and in the man’s eyes. “Yeah, I can see you’ve heard of me. Every damn thing you’ve ever heard about me is true. Every. Fucking. Thing.”

  Gino stepped closer to Filipe, pulling him up roughly by the collar. “I need you to get this word for word, and if you get it wrong, I’ll know and I’ll come looking for you. Are we clear? You understand me, Filipe?” He waited for the other man to nod, reveling in the fear that rolled off the man in waves. “You tell Hernandez that Rosa belongs to Gino Esposito, and I will never let her go. She is under the protection of the Carlisi family, and if he wants to go to war over her, then we will.”

  Tony stepped in behind him, and from the whimper of fear that escaped Filipe, Gino knew he had his game face very much in place. “And if you know anything about the Carlisi family at all, you know that we protect our own. And Rosa. Is. Ours. Nico, why don’t you and I help Filipe here get his friend out to his truck so they can go take Gino’s message back to Hernandez? Don’t worry about letting the Battaglia family know you failed. We’ll do that ourselves.”

  Gino caught the thread of violent intent in Tony’s voice and was one hundred percent on board with whatever Tony was planning. He shoved Filipe in Nico’s direction then turned back to Rosa. She looked scared, her face pale, and Gino’s heart clenched at the thought he might’ve scared her. He held out his hand to her slowly, every fiber of his being begging for her to take his hand, but sure that she wouldn’t. It felt like an age before she reached out her small hand and placed it into his.

  As he walked out with her and through the bar, taking her back up to her room, he realized that she’d put her hand in his in moments of conflict twice now, and he was humbled by the trust she must have in him. He could only pray he would come to be worthy of it.

  Chapter Four

  Rosa exhaled slowly as Gino handed her into her small bedroom and closed the door behind them. She took a moment to try to calm her thundering heart and then turned back to face Gino. She inhaled sharply when she found him standing a lot closer to her than she expected.

  His eyes narrowed, and his expression darkened. “Are we back to the part where you are scared of me again, cara? Let me guess. You didn’t approve of how I dealt with your father’s men. If violence turns your stomach so much you flinch from me every fucking minute, then perhaps we should forget about what happened early. Violence is a part of my life and you’ll see it up close and fucking personal if we’re going to spend any more time together. Fuck this. Why the hell am I explaining myself to you? It’s just not fucking worth it!”

  Rosa froze, clamping down on her initial reaction of drawing into herself and shrinking back, to make herself a smaller target. She was not that woman anymore, and Gino sure as hell wasn’t Tito. She’d spent hours talking with the therapist Gavriil had sent to her, and she’d helped Rosa to see that what happened to her wasn’t her fault, and it sure as hell wasn’t something she deserved. She was a strong, independent latina who had her abuela’s blood flowing through her and that meant she has a voice, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to forget that ever again.

  “Firstly, Gino, spending time with me is not a given, you have to earn the right to that because despite what you think, I am worth it.” Her voice sounded strong, no sign of the tremor that had been there earlier. “I have never in my life been given the chance to make decisions for myself, but I can assure you that from now on, that is exactly what I am going to do. And that includes who I am going to spend time with, and who I am not, and assholes that go radio-silent on me for two fucking weeks might just fall into that latter category.”

  She watched as a wave of guilt swept across his face. She hadn’t been aware she was going to make that point but was pleased that she had. “Secondly, I am the daughter of Eduardo Hernandez. I was raised in his compound, with the very real and violent business of drugs, guns, and human trafficking taking place everywhere I looked. You told Filipe that everything he’d ever heard about you was true. Well, the same thing can be said for my father. Do you think that what just took place downstairs was the most violent thing I have ever seen? I can assure you it doesn’t even come close. You, of all people, should know that.”

  She was breathing heavily, her heart pounding in her chest and this time, when Gino reached out to her, a pained look on his face, she did step back. Gino stood statue-still for a moment and they simply stared at each other.

  “I do know that.” Gino’s voice was so low, it was almost a whisper. “I see it every night. Every fucking night I close my eyes, and I’m in that moment once more. Rosa, please, please forgive me. I didn’t mean a damn word of that bullshit. I’ll never forget what happened earlier, your taste, your mouth, your everything is etched in my mind forever. You are worth it, you are worth anything. I was just scared.”

  Rosa frowned in confusion. “Of what?”

  Gino let his arms drop to his side, and he exhaled sharply, his head tipping back toward the ceiling for a moment before he dropped his gaze back to hers. Only once before had she seen his expression so open, and yet so pained at the same time.

  “I’m scared shitless that you will remember that I fucking failed you in that apartment and you’ll leave me.” Gino huffed a self-deprecating sound. “Not that I ever had you, but goddammit, cara, you do feel big to me, and you were hurt right in fucking front of me, and I could do nothing. Fucking nothing! You were lying there begging me to save you and I couldn’t. Fuck!”

  Gino spun toward the door, and Rosa was moving before she’d even registered it. She shifted to stand in front of him, barring the door and his exit.

  “Gino, stop.” Rosa put as much demand into her tone as she could. “That’s bullshit, too. Yeah, what Tito did to me was shitty and horrible, and if I’m honest with you, I’ve had my fair share of nightmares about it, too. But I’m dealing with it. It will take time, and I’ll still need to talk to someone about it all, not just that, but the whole fucking three years I was there. But I wasn’t asking you to save me. I wasn’t!” Rosa practically shouted the last two words when she saw Gino about to object. “I was looking to you to help distance myself from what he was doing. Christ, Gino! There was no way outta that for you and me. Not in that moment, or in the moments before it. Not until your crew came for you. All I wanted was for you to survive, and maybe, just maybe, help me to do the same damn thing. Because, I-I want, I—”

  Rosa stuttered to a stop, her breathing ragged, and she could hear the tears she was holding back clear in her tone. With a curse, Gino reached out and pulled her into his arms, lifting her so that her feet were off the ground. She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him in desperation.

  “You did that for me, Gino,” she continued in a whisper. “You helped me to survive. That night, and at the hospital.” She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent, spicy, male, and a hint of some cologne that she found almost addicting. “You feel big to me, too, Gino. But I’ve already told you that.”

  ****

  Gino took a deep breath. He held himself as tense as po
ssible, desperately trying to keep the fact that he was shaking from the woman clinging to him. God, she slayed him.

  “You’re shaking,” she whispered, and he had to bite back a groan at the feel of lips moving against the skin of his neck.

  “Yeah.” He matched his tone to hers. “You see me like no one on this earth sees me. I’m damn sure I’m not like what you think I am, but I’m just as certain that I’m not going to fucking tell you that in case you wise up, open that door, and walk out on me. I don’t think you get what you do to me, Rosa. You fucking slay me. I don’t know which I want more. To fuck you senseless or hear you talk about me more in the hope of actually being able to live up to it.”

  Rosa’s laugh had his heart swelling. “Do I get a vote?”

  Gino’s heart stopped. He actually felt the damn thing slam to a halt then go into overdrive. He shifted his head back, glad when she took the hint and moved back so he could look into her face.

  “You do. With me, with us, you will always get a vote.”

  He held her gaze, and Gino could see every emotion as it played out in her expression. He saw slight hesitation, a nervousness that had her biting her bottom lip, but what had his body tightening and his cock standing up to attention was the arousal and desire that were more than evident.

  “I’m definitely not in the mood to talk.” Rosa’s voice had dropped to a seductive tone he’d never heard her use before.

  Gino wanted to shout with joy, throw her on the mattress of her queen-sized bed, and show her exactly what he’d been thinking and dreaming about since the moment he’d met her, but there was something they had to talk about first. “Rosa, everything you went through—I don’t want to do anything that might cause you any discomfort or pain of any kind. Maybe we should—”

  He stopped when she pressed her fingers against his lips. “Gino, I know what you’re saying, but I know what I want. Just take your time with me, that’s all I’m asking.”

  Gino could do that. He could. God, he hoped he could.

  Unsure of what to say, Gino leaned in and kissed her with everything he had. He hoped she could hear what he struggled to put into words. The depth of his feelings for her, the need he had to make sure she was never scared or hurt again, but most of all, how intensely he desired her. Just as she melted against him, he thought back to the night he’d practically run from her.

  Holding her tightly, he pulled back to stare down into her beautiful face. “You have to know that I want you. I want you more than I need my next breath.” Her gaze slid from his, and he knew she doubted him and it killed him that he was the reason for it. “That night two weeks ago, I couldn’t have fucked that up more if I’d tried. You offered me a gift, one that I was too chicken-shit to take.”

  Rosa frowned, shaking her head slightly. “No, Gino, I threw myself at you out of the blue. I—”

  “I should have caught you and held on for my life, cara.”

  “Gino—”

  “But I let my own fears, my own history—”

  “Gino—”

  “Screw me over. I got stuck in my own head, the guilt, everything just–umph.”

  Gino was stunned into silence when Rosa slapped her hand over his mouth.

  “Would you let me finish!” Rosa said dryly. “Dios, is this what it is going to be like? You rambling off and not allowing me to get a word in edgewise?” Gino bit lightly into her hand.

  Rosa laughed as she drew her hand away. “Gino.” The breathless way she said his name had his dick twitching again. She must have caught on to the change in his mood because her beautiful eyes darkened. “What happened that night with Tito was not. Your. Fault.” Gino saw her need for him to understand, and he immediately swallowed his denial. “That lies with a dead man. We will not talk about it ever again. From this moment, there is only you and me in this relationship.”

  Gino smiled and nodded in agreement, once again humbled by how incredibly strong his woman was. And she was his. Completely. And he was just about to prove that very thing to her.

  Holding her gaze, he reached for her hands, lifting them to press a kiss to the back of them, and then held them to his chest. “Have I told you that I adore this dress?” The way Rosa looked at him as if he hung the moon made him feel ten feet tall. “The way it hugs your curves, it gives a man like me a lot of ideas.” He reached around her to grip the tab of her zipper and slid it down, reveling in her swift inhale as the backs of his fingers skimmed across her skin.

  Gritting his teeth, he pulled his hands away and reached for the buttons of his shirt. “I don’t want to do anything that will scare you, cara.” He removed his shirt and went for his belt. He froze at her sharp inhalation and his gaze flew to her face. If he’d seen disgust or horror there at the evidence of the torture he’d experienced the night they had met, he might’ve faltered to the point of turning back, but there was nothing but desire and heat in Rosa’s eyes. Cursing quietly at the answering wave of desire that slammed through him, he quickly kicked off his shoes and pulled his pants and socks off in a move that was more speed than grace.

  “I’m not scared, Gino,” Rosa said in a breathless tone. “I’m aroused, and exhilarated, and—and, um, well, a little intimidated.”

  Gino paused. “By what?”

  Rosa gave him a dry look. “By you, silly. Let’s just say that there is a lot of you, Gino”—she nodded in the general direction of his dick—“and you’re intimidating.”

  Gino couldn’t hide his grin, and the glint in her eye made him glad he hadn’t. He reached for her again, sliding her dress from her beautiful body. She stood before him a matching strapless red bra and panty set.

  “Santo Dio,” he whispered almost reverently. “Just look at you, my beautiful Rosa.”

  He knew he was close to the point of no return, where he would find himself coming inside his damn boxers before he had a chance to do anything more than gaze upon her perfection. So he made quick work of her lingerie before lowering her to the mattress of her bed.

  “I’ve dreamed of what you’d taste like so many fucking times.” He groaned as he shucked his boxers and made a space for himself between her legs.

  “Are you—your mouth?” Rosa stuttered.

  “Fuck yeah, I am.” He growled, moving in and inhaling her scent. “And I am sure as hell going to use my mouth.”

  He didn’t tease or take things slowly. That wasn’t his way. He simply placed his mouth over her, sucked her honey into his mouth, and then thrust his tongue as far into her pussy as he could.

  Rosa tensed for a moment, and Gino knew a moment of panic that perhaps he’d moved too fast, but then her hands slid down to press against the back of his head, and her hips rolled against his mouth. Taking his cue from her, he began to devour her, taking every drop of pure liquid she had to give, and using the tip of his tongue against her engorged clit. His Rosa, he learned, knew a lot of curse words. In English, Italian, and Spanish. The room echoed with her shouts and cries and he reveled in the fact that it was his name she screamed when he threw her over the edge of release. Twice.

  The third time he pushed her close to the edge, she pulled his hair, hard, and he cursed when he lost contact with her hot slick flesh.

  “Gino,” Rosa panted in a voice that shook. “I know I said that I wanted you to take your time with me, but I’m rescinding that request. Taking your time sucks. It’s not what I want.”

  Gino wanted to thank every god he knew, crawl up the bed, and slam himself home, but he wasn’t going to do that. Not yet.

  “Rosa, are you—”

  “Don’t ask me if I’m sure,” Rosa practically growled. Even when she was pissed at him, she was stunning. “I know what I want, and I want your cock. In my pussy. Now!”

  Gino grinned as he crawled up her body, loving the way she practically purred when he laid his body over hers. “You’re the boss.”

  Rosa grinned up at him as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his hips.
“And don’t you forget it.”

  Gino’s grin slipped away as he felt her wet heat press against the head of his cock. “Forget this moment? Forget you? There is no way in hell I could do either, Rosa.” He flexed his hips, driving himself into her, her previous orgasms making the move easy and so fucking hot he once again had to fight the urge to come. “Te amo, Rosa.”

  He’d wanted to tell her he loved her for weeks. It felt right to say it now, in Spanish, just for her.

  Rosa’s immediate smile was the sweetest thing he had ever seen. “Ti amo anch'io, Gino.”

  His heart melted when she returned his declaration of love in Italian. Then there were no more words as he began to move. The tight, hot feel of her as he slid deeper and deeper into her body was indescribable. He loved how Rosa kept her gaze locked to his and never held back the sounds that told him what she liked and what she loved as he moved.

  When he was buried balls-deep within her, he held still for a moment. When he was sure he could continue without losing control, he began to move within her. He pumped his hips, driving himself in and out of her sweet body in an ever-increasing rhythm. He could feel Rosa growing hotter and slicker around his cock. Thankful that she was getting close, he allowed himself to move faster until he was pounding into her.

  Despite the power of his own release that he could feel building within him, he kept an eye on his woman, making sure that she felt nothing but pleasure in what they were doing together. From the way her hands gripped his shoulders and the beautiful sounds she continued to make, Gino knew that she was.

  Hovering too damn close to the edge of his orgasm, afraid that he would go over without her, he reached down to press his thumb against her clit. Rosa cried out, her body tensing against him, and he slammed into her, rolling his hips against her, and that was all it took. Rosa screamed as her body convulsed beneath him, and her release triggered his own. He thrust into her one final time, threw back his head, and shouted her name to the heavens.