by Eve Newton
“Not good enough.” He shakes his head.
“Constantine,” I complain, “why all the pressure?”
“I told you earlier that I have sired so many times without love. I will never sire again, Aefre. Not without love and I will never love anyone else. Except in the case of a child. Our child.”
“You don’t know that,” I say desperately. “The child won’t be ours. We cannot make a child together, Constantine. How do you know you can love someone else’s?”
“Yes. I do. Since the second I laid eyes on you in that marketplace, I have loved only you. I have wanted and fucked other women, told them what they wanted to hear, sired them, but never ever have I loved another before you or since you. The child will be ours, Aefre. In every way that matters, even more so when we co-sire it.”
While his words are everything I want to hear – well, except for the wanting, fucking, and siring part – I still remain unsure it’s what I want. A mother, I am not. I am vain, selfish, and willful. Incapable of being what he wants me to be.
I am damaged.
“What makes you think I would make a good mother?” I ask him, genuinely interested. He knows me. Knows that I am not maternal by any stretch of the imagination.
“I know you will. You don’t see what I see in you. What I have always seen. You might not think this about yourself, but you are very nurturing and loving.”
Come again?
“I have seen how you look after your boys. That desire to protect them, do anything for them. It isn’t just about the sire bond. Just tell me you will give me what I want, and I will do anything for you. Be anything.”
He looks at me beseechingly and I cave. I would do anything for him. Always and forever.
“Okay,” I say, and he beams at me, pulling me to him for a lingering kiss.
My phone buzzing on the table, causes me to pull away. It’s a message from Devon: “We need to talk. Meet me downstairs in ten minutes. Door’s open. Xxx.”
I frown at the phone. Something’s off.
“What’s wrong?” CK asks.
“It’s a message from Devon. Or at least from Devon’s phone.”
“What do you mean?”
“There are three kisses at the end. He never sends kisses – ever. And why would he tell me the door’s open? What does he want me to walk in on?” I ask suspiciously.
CK and I look at each other.
“Perhaps it’s not from Devon, but the girl,” he says, and I have to agree. “Question is, what does she want you down there for without his knowledge?”
I raise my brows at him. “I have a pretty good idea,” I say dryly, and he chuckles.
“Okay, but why would she want you walking in on them having sex?”
“To send a message.”
“Oh?”
“After I got back from The Underworld, Sebastian found me and wanted to talk to me. He pulled me into an empty conference room and we…had words,” I say carefully.
“About what?”
“It’s nothing,” I say, brushing it off. “Devon came in and asked him to leave.”
“Leave? Did he hurt you?” he asks forcefully.
“No, it’s nothing like that. Anyway, after Sebastian left, Dev stayed, and one thing led to another…”
“And you fucked,” he snarls, interrupting me.
“No,” I snap. “But Jess may or may not have walked in on me half naked with my legs wrapped around him and his fangs in my neck.”
“Hm, so let me guess. He went after her and left you unfulfilled,” he says. “And that’s why you should always feed after. It’s called a ‘fuck and feed’ for a reason,” he adds idly.
I glare at him. “Indeed. That’s something you can fix though,” I say seductively, moving closer to him, trailing my hands up his chest.
“You want me to fix your desire for another man?” he asks incredulously.
“But my desire for you is insurmountable, my love.”
“As is mine for you, but don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”
“What? You want me to go down there? Why?”
He shrugs. “It might be fun.”
I snort in amusement. “Shall we then?” I hold my hand out to him.
“Of course.”
We stroll out of the suite and downstairs to Devon’s. I push open the door, as it is indeed open. We quietly stalk towards the bedroom.
As expected we see Jess, naked on the bed but Devon is nowhere to be found. A moment later, he walks out of the bathroom, a towel slung around his hips and he stops dead. A furious look passes over his face as he looks at Jess, then at me.
“Lizzie…” he says, reaching out to me. “It’s…”
“I was asked to come down here.” I hold up my phone. “Although, I’m more inclined to think it was your little girlfriend here is the one who asked.”
Devon glares at her again. She tries to look innocent but fails miserably under his bold blue gaze. She self-consciously pulls the sheet up over her naked self. Unsurprisingly, as she has one of the world’s scariest motherfuckers glaring at her from behind me, as my back-up.
“Dev, we need to talk. Find me when you are done here.” I turn to Jess and snarl viciously at her, more to scare her than out of any actual rage over this scam. “Next time you ask me to walk in on you two, you had better be prepared for me to take back what’s mine,” I threaten.
She flinches, looking terrified as CK pulls me back. “Time to go, my sweet.”
I let him lead me away and he smirks, “Yours?”
“Yes, mine. Just as I am yours.”
He looks pleased. “You are mine.” He reaches for the necklace but hisses as he touches it and pulls back just as Sebastian had. I frown as he asks, “I’m sure I don’t need to ask where you got that, but what is it?”
“Hellfire,” I say cautiously. I realize that I’m the only Vampire who can touch it without burning. I’m pretty sure Xane knew exactly what he was doing when he gave it to me. Arse.
“Hellfire. As in the same Hellfire that your faithful sword is made from?”
I nod grimly. “I’ll take it off. I didn’t think. Sorry,” I say as I unclasp it.
He shrugs as if it’s nothing. I don’t want to take it off but if it hurts my boys, I should.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FOUR
A s it happens, Devon finds us fucking about twenty minutes later. “Mind if I join in?” he asks as he watches us.
CK growls at him, “No. Let us finish. Go and wait in the sitting room.”
He pushes me over and under him and finishes us both off regardless of Devon’s presence, who decides to leave anyway.
I climb out from under CK and pull my dress back on. “Wait here, okay?”
He nods briskly and lights a cigarette.
I find Devon on the sofa, staring at his hands. I sit next to him, relaxing at his nearness. He does too and angles himself towards me instinctively.
“What’s going on, Dev?” I ask him. “I need you to talk to me. I need to fix this. I won’t have you abandoning me, talking to everyone else except me and bringing this girl into my sphere with zero explanation. What the fuck is going on, Dev?” I ask, stung by his actions.
“I’m sorry, Lizzie. I had to get away. Ever since we got back from Lance’s, you’ve been so busy. Too busy for me. Even before you and Lincoln started sleeping together, I was always last, and it wasn’t fair. I was so used to us being together all the time and then it was practically nothing. Since we moved to New York, all you came to me for was a quick fuck before you moved on to someone else. Do you know the last time we shared a bed? Spent all night together? Months, Lizzie, months,” he says, without waiting for an answer. “I love you, but I can’t just be the last one you come to. Not anymore,” he runs his hand through his hair. “I needed this time to think about how to approach this and make you see. Jess is…fuck’s sake…no one, really. No one you need to worry about anyway.”
I’m upset th
at he feels that way about us, although I do see his point. “I’m sorry, Dev. I have taken you for granted. I have just always assumed that you would be here no matter what. The others take work. They come with drama and promises to be kept and threats and moods. But I know now that you need me to fight for you too.”
He smiles at me as I have told him what he wants to hear. “I’m sorry about just leaving. I should have talked to you about it. About Jess before…I had no idea she was there. We aren’t…she wants to be but I love you…” He trails off looking despondent.
“You’re not together?” I ask, going for innocence but not quite pulling it off.
“No,” he says hesitantly. “I can’t tell you what’s going on yet. I need some time to figure it out.”
“She is in love with you,” I state.
“I know, but I am not in love with her, it’s complicated.”
“Uncomplicate it,” I demand gently.
“It’s not for me say, yet. Just give me time to figure it out,” he says again.
“Are you planning on turning her?” I ask the loaded question and hold my breath waiting for his answer, which comes as a very shocked, “Christ, no! Lizzie, you know that’s not my thing.”
I’m somewhat relieved but press on, “But, Cole tells me that she wants you to.”
“She has asked. She has her reasons, but I told her no.”
“Why?”
He gives me a scathing look. “Apart from the fact that I’m in love with you, I don’t want to sire without love,” he says after a long pause. Gee, where have I heard that before? “I’ve gone half a millennium and never found anyone I can love enough to want to be with them forever, except you. No one even comes close to what I feel for you.”
“I think that’s half your problem,” CK says from the bedroom door. He is dressed just in sweats and I’m pretty sure I start to drool, just a little.
“This conversation is private,” Devon growls.
CK saunters over to us and sits on the coffee table in front of me. “Well, you are in my hotel room, our hotel room,” he amends at my look. “Even if I wasn’t a Vampire, I would still be able to hear you.”
Well, he has us there.
“So, what is your not-so-humble opinion?” I ask him as he takes my hands.
“Devon,” he says, “you say you are in love with her.”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure about that? Take a long hard look at her.”
He does. “What am I looking at?”
“You are looking at Liv. Not Elizabeth. Liv is not the girl you fell in love with. In fact, if I recall, the whole reason you left her in the first instance was because she Shifted to her natural form and you said yourself that she wasn’t.”
Devon and I are staring at each other in confusion. What the fuck is he saying here?
“Constantine. I am still me,” I say, but even I hear the lack of conviction.
“No, my love. You are not Elizabeth. You are Liv. Whether you like it or not you are different. I’m not saying, Devon, that you don’t love her. Of course, you do, she is your sire and you have a bond. A strong one. In fact, so strong that I have never seen the likes of it in all my years. You live together, work together. Like each other.” He pauses and we are staring at each other now dumbfounded.
“I think you need to separate your feelings for Elizabeth from Liv. From Lexie, from Carrie, from Katherine and Svetlana and everybody else since 1692 when Elizabeth Shifted. Even though she can Shift to Elizabeth, she isn’t the same. She has grown, lived, loved, lost. Can you honestly look at her now and say you are in love with her? Cole’s sire? His wife?”
Fuck me. Talk about insight. Where does he pull this stuff from?
Devon looks at me. “I don’t suppose I have ever thought about it in that way, but, yes, I do love you, Lizzie. I am in love with you. I want you and desire you and we have something so special; I don’t want to lose that. Ever.”
“Neither do I. Come home, to me.”
“It doesn’t change anything though. I won’t be last anymore.”
“Tell me how to fix it,” I tell him quietly.
He pounces. “One day. One day a week where you are just mine.”
So, he’s clearly been sitting on that for a while.
CK clears his throat and I chew my lip doing a quick mental check. Friday to Monday is for Cole, Tuesday and Wednesday for CK, Thursday for Lincoln before Canada. Christ, he’s right, I don’t make time for him. “Fridays,” I say quickly. Cole will suffer but he still gets me three days. Fuck, this is hard. And only getting more complicated. How did Cole put it? Days of the Week underwear? Now, I have Days of the Week men. Jesus. Why can’t we all just shack up together and be done with it already?
I’m about to mention it but Devon joyfully says,“Done.” The moment passes as his eyes flick to CK who is looking, to my surprise, somewhat relieved that I didn’t take away one of his days. Even though he has taken away his threat to separate me from Cole, there is still the original threat of him fighting for me and I don’t doubt he will do it if I push him. But he still seems to think that I will let him down. Fool.
“All that you just said. Shouldn’t the same apply to you?” Devon asks him.
CK smiles that smile at me and takes my chin in his hand and says, “Oh no. I am completely, one hundred percent in love with every part of her. Aefre, Elizabeth, Liv. Every Shift in between and in the future, I will love without fail.” He kisses me lightly and Devon grumbles, “Geez, get a room.”
“So, you are coming home?” I ask him.
“Yes, I will come home.”
“What about this Jess?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’ll handle it, just give me time and don’t stick your nose in. I don’t need you to swoop in a fix anything. I’ve got it, okay.”
“Now you have me worried,” I say, chewing my lip.
“Leave the boy to deal with whatever it is, Aefre,” CK murmurs, squeezing my hand.
“You know that’s not in my nature,” I point out.
“I have missed you so much,” Devon blurts out. “I wasn’t angry with you earlier. It was the situation.”
“Oh. Good,” I say. “I have missed you too. Please let me help.” Even if it is just to get rid of her from Devon’s life, I’ll offer my services.
He huffs at me, so I drop it. “Well, I had better get back downstairs and tell Jess it’s probably best if she leaves. I’ll leave you two lovebirds to your…whatever it is you do other than fuck when you are alone together.”
“Bye, baby,” I say to him as he leans forward for a kiss and he leaves us two lovebirds to our…whatever.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE
“C K isn’t here,” I say to Sebastian as he walks into the suite, sometime later. I smile up at him and rub the back of my neck. “Getting better at that now.”
He grins back. “That’s sweet. You can recognize me now. We must be getting closer. What do I feel like to you?” He sits on the sofa next to me.
“Also, more of a fizz than a tingle.”
He chuckles. “I didn’t come here looking for him. I came looking for you,” he says.
I put down the magazine that I’m reading. “Oh? Why is that then?”
“I have this problem that only you can help me with.”
“And that would be?”
“Your blood is like a drug, Liv. I need more of it. I came here to feed,” he says bluntly.
“Excuse me? What does that mean? And you can’t just ask me like that. CK will freak if he finds out and you know that he will.”
“I will deal with our sire. I just want to taste you again.” He runs his finger down my neck. “You taste so good. Just one little bite,” he whispers.
I hesitate, wanting to comply, but conscious of everybody’s feelings over this. I relent, partly, and give him my wrist. He grins wickedly and takes my hand but instead of clamping down, he pulls me onto his lap, facing him.
�
��Seb,” I say, placing my hands on his chest. “Not like this.”
“Exactly like this,” he murmurs and drops his fangs. He sinks them into my neck. I feel a jolt go through me. He puts his hand on the back of my head and bunches his fist in my hair. He groans softly and I feel it go through me. My nipples harden in response. Oh, fuck, I’m getting seriously turned on by this.
His hands come forward to undo the belt on my fluffy white robe, but I put my hands on his to stop him. “No.”
He releases the bite and ignores me. He runs his hands up my arms and pushes the robe off my shoulders, leaving me naked on his lap. His eyes roam hungrily over me. I don’t like the look in his eyes as they meet mine and hold my gaze. He fumbles to get his cock free and again I say, “Seb, no.” He grips my hips in a vice to stop me from climbing off him and raises me up. I can feel his tip pushing against me, rock hard. His eyes never leaving mine, he shoves me down onto his cock, so that my pussy encases him completely.
I gasp. I don’t want to do this, but I don’t do anything about it. I can’t do anything about it. It’s like my body has taken control and my mind is not my own. His gaze is intent on mine. I close my eyes to get away from it.
“Open your eyes,” he whispers, and I do as he says, unable to disobey. He is smirking at me now as I lean forward to kiss him, my hands going up to the back of his neck. My brain is yelling at me to stop this, to get off him and kick his arse, but I don’t. Instead, I kiss him deeply and he moans into my mouth as he is balls deep inside me.
“Oh, Christ, Liv. You feel so good. It’s no wonder they don’t want to share,” he murmurs against my lips. “Fuck me, baby,” he says and releases my hips from his too-strong grip so that I can move over him. He is rubbing against me in all the right places and I can’t help the rush of desire that I feel. My Dragon ripples across my back, but in protest now, not passion. She is not happy about this and quite frankly neither am I, but I can’t think why. He places his hands gently on my behind and coaxes me to ride him, all the while his eyes never leaving mine. “That’s it, baby. Oh, you feel so good,” he murmurs as I speed up, feeling the pressure starting to build deep inside.