“Care to dance, gorgeous?”
Before I could say no, he slipped his hand around my waist and guided me to the dance floor. The music slowed, Ryan pulled me close. Too close. The electricity between us was almost painful. We danced, slowly. Ryan continued to hold me close. I didn’t mind. I hadn’t felt this safe in a very long time. His arms were strong and steady, like he was protecting me from some unforeseen danger.
“I don’t know who or what has put that sadness in your eyes, beautiful, but I hope to see them sparkle with happiness one day,” he whispered in my ear.
Tears welled my eyes. I couldn’t bear to look at him. The song ended, and I let go of him reluctantly. “Thank you for the dance.”
“It was my pleasure, beautiful.”
“I should get going, it’s late.”
“Let me walk you home. It’s after midnight and there’s no reason you should be walking alone this time of night.”
“I’ll be fine, really. This town seems like the safest place on earth.”
“It is. However, I’m not taking any chances.”
We walked back to the still full bar. Ryan spoke with Tim. I couldn’t hear what he said, but Tim nodded and gave me a slight smile. I was embarrassed—a grown woman who could walk herself home.
“Ryan, really, I don’t want you to get in trouble for leaving. You already took time from work to dance with me. Won’t your boss be angry with you?”
He chuckled. “He won’t be angry. He knows the gentlemanly thing to do is walk a lady home.”
We strolled along the river in silence. I could tell he wanted to say something but was waiting. Waiting for me to say something maybe? I didn’t know. I remained silent because I wasn’t sure what would come out of my mouth. With three glasses of wine in me, it could be anything at this point. The tension was palpable, and could be cut with a knife. We were almost to the Inn when he took my hand, turning me to look at him.
I was caught off guard and stumbled into him. He lifted my chin with his finger, leaning slowly down to kiss me. I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to. My heart was beating out of my chest as his lips came closer to mine. Our lips met, softly at first, and then the need in me bubbled up. He wrapped me in his arms, so I threw my arms around his neck. His tongue explored my mouth, slowly, almost painfully. He took what he wanted as I willingly gave. I had never been kissed like that before. Slowly, passionately, almost desperately. My mouth was being ravaged by a man I barely knew, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be wanted. I needed to be wanted.
The kiss deepened as my tongue explored his mouth. I felt my nipples harden beneath my tank. I could feel the wetness beginning to pool between my legs and pulled away abruptly.
“Ryan.” I panted, fighting for composure. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
I tore myself from him and ran the rest of the way to the inn. Throwing myself on the bed, I sobbed. I sobbed for my marriage. I sobbed for my life. I sobbed for becoming a cheater, just like my husband.
Chapter Five
My head hurt. I rolled over to look at the clock beside my bed. Eight a.m. I never slept this late. A late night and three glasses of wine would do that, I guessed. I pulled myself begrudgingly from the comfort of my bed and turned the shower on, then looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like I had been hit by a bus. Black smudges under my eyes, huge bags, too, and my hair looked like a greasy mess.
“Wow Kate, you are a hot mess,” I muttered out loud. The shower felt amazing. I felt revitalized after and decided to go for another run. It would help me sweat out the last of the wine. I found myself along the river again. It was a beautiful place. The people were kind and the view was what I needed to ease my ache. The guilt I felt was enormous. I cheated. I cheated on my husband of twenty-five years. What kind of woman was I? How could I do such a thing?
Because he cheated on you, Kate. He left you and made you feel unworthy and unwanted. You deserve to feel wanted Kate.
“Shut up,” I said aloud.
The voice in my head was not helping. Yes, I had been neglected for years now, but did that give me the right to fall into the arms of the first man who paid a little attention to me? Ugh. What had I become? I picked up my pace to try to run from my thoughts, but it didn’t help. The ache and the guilt were overwhelming. Yes, I had felt wanted. Yes, I had more than enjoyed that kiss, but I was a married woman, for Christ’s sake. I had no right to kiss another man. I stopped in my tracks. Ryan was out for his morning exercise and running directly toward me. I looked for a place to hide, but it was too late. He had already seen me.
“Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling today?”
I stared at him and then, suddenly, tears began pouring down my face. I let out the most unladylike sob I ever heard and couldn’t catch my breath.
“Oh, my God, Kate, I’m so sorry.”
He pulled me into his arms, which made me cry even harder.
“It’s okay, beautiful, let it out.”
I didn’t know how long we stayed there, but it felt like hours. When the tears finally stopped, I was embarrassed.
“I’m…I’m sorry, Ryan.” I choked back another sob. “I need to get ahold of myself. I’m a hot mess, as you can obviously see. I’m sorry you have to see me like this.” He looked me in the eyes and smiled ever so slightly as though he were about to say something, then paused.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up. How about a hot cup of coffee and some breakfast?”
I nodded and let him lead the way. We were walking toward The Pub, but he veered off to a set of stairs to the left of the building. We climbed up the stairs and he let me in through a wooden door.
“I thought we were going for breakfast?” I asked as I took note of my surroundings.
Before me was a beautiful kitchen and living room combo. I immediately noticed the dark hardwood floors and white antiqued kitchen cabinets with the most beautiful gray and white granite countertops. There was an island with four bar stools that separated the kitchen from the living room.
“We are,” he said. He made his way into the kitchen and started the coffee maker. “I thought you could wash up while I made breakfast.”
I didn’t move from where I was.
“Come on in, Kate, I won’t bite. The bathroom is down the hall to the right.”
I made my way slowly to the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind me. What the hell was I doing in his apartment? I looked in the mirror and just stared at myself. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t be alone with this man in his apartment. After the kiss we shared last night, this was the last place I needed to be. I washed my face and made my way to the kitchen slowly, taking in the beauty of his apartment. It was masculine, yet comfortable. The decor was well done. I wondered if he did it himself or hired someone. The smell of bacon and eggs caught my attention.
“Feeling better, beautiful?”
“Yes, thanks.” I paused, then dragged in a breath to continue, “Ryan, I really shouldn’t be here. I appreciate the offer, but I should get going.”
“Kate, it’s breakfast. A girl’s gotta eat.” He smiled, motioning me to sit down at the island and set a cup of steaming black coffee in front of me. The aroma was alluring. I took a sip and began to relax. It’s just coffee, Kate, I thought to myself. Ryan finished cooking breakfast and brought two plates around the island. He set one plate in front of me, took a seat, and placed the other in front of himself.
“Manga,” he stated.
I chuckled and dug in. Everything was delicious, and we made small talk for a while.
“Would you like to share with me what you're running from, beautiful?” he asked.
“Not really.” I shook my head. “It’s complicated, and the mere thought of it makes me ache.”
“I’m sorry for whatever it is you’re going through, Kate. Life tends to throw us for a loop sometimes, but it’s what we do with it that matters.”
I smiled up at him and our eyes locked. I wanted to pul
l my eyes away from his, but I couldn’t. He leaned toward me and kissed me gently.
“I don’t know what it is about you, beautiful, but I can’t seem to stay away from you. From the moment you walked into The Pub on Thursday night, you pulled at me.”
He kissed me again, this time with more passion. I let him. I didn’t care. I wanted to feel wanted. Ryan made me feel just that. Our kiss deepened, and a small moan escaped my mouth. His kiss grew more intense. He stood up, pulling me with him.
“Kate, tell me to stop and I will. Just say the word.” All rationality left my body.
“I don’t want you to stop.”
With that, he took me by the hand and led me to his bedroom. The masculine wood bed was adorned with a soft white comforter, white sheets, and gray throw pillows. He kissed me hard while backing me up toward his bed. I couldn’t keep my hands off him and deepened my kiss. “Oh, Ryan,” I moaned.
He stopped kissing me and stood back. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt gently, lifting it over my head. Then he unzipped the front of my jog bra, let it fall slowly down behind me. There I stood, nipples as hard as a rock, panting for this man I barely knew.
“Kate, you are beautiful.”
He dipped his head and took my nipple into his mouth. He sucked gently as he massaged my other breast with his hand. He licked and sucked both breasts and then returned to my mouth. The tenderness in this man’s touch was more than I could bear.
“Kate, if you tell me to stop right now, I will. I don’t know your story. I don’t want to do anything that is going to hurt you. Tell me to stop, Kate.”
Tears welled in my eyes—this man, so tender and gentle. So full of want yet thinking only of me at this time.
“I don’t want you to stop, Ryan,” I murmured.
With that, he picked me up and laid me on his bed. He climbed on top of me, kissing my mouth sweetly. He moved to my ear, down my neck, then back to my breasts. I could feel the heated wetness between my legs. His hands were firm yet gentle as they made their way to the apex of my wanting. He touched me through my yoga pants and I almost exploded right there. His touch was like nothing I had ever felt before. I wanted him madly. He slid my pants down my legs and continued his kisses over my torso to my panty line. I gasped slightly as he slid my panties down. He kissed me gently on my hairline and made his way to my apex.
“Open for me, Kate.”
I was slightly embarrassed to open myself up to a man I barely knew, but the power of the urge within me overrode any embarrassment. I opened my legs. He licked me between my folds, then licked and sucked and licked and sucked. I could feel myself building for him.
“That’s it, beautiful, let yourself go. I want to see you come.”
He inserted two fingers in me as he sucked my clit. I couldn’t contain myself any longer.
“Oh, Ryan, I can’t…I can’t hold on any longer. I’m going to come!”
“Come, baby, let it all go.”
The explosion between my legs was almost more than I could bear. I moaned and pushed myself harder onto his fingers and into his mouth. I swear I saw fireworks.
“That’s it, beautiful, that’s it.”
I had never come like that before. He lapped it up. He sucked up every last drop of me and then slid up to my mouth and began to kiss me. I tasted myself on him. I loved the eroticism of me mixed with him. He kissed me deeply then lowered himself between my legs. I took his shirt off and was not disappointed. That “V” I thought would be there was. I pushed his shorts and boxers down and moaned my disappointment when he took his mouth from mine. He kicked off his shorts and boxers and put his mouth back on mine.
“Are you ready, beautiful?” he asked.
“Yes.” I panted, desperate for him. “Yes, I’m ready.”
He lowered himself into me gently. I wanted to cry. He kissed me and began to move, slowly at first, and then faster, never taking his mouth from mine. His movements became faster and I was on the brink again.
“Ryan, oh my God—I’m going to come again!”
“Come, beautiful, give me all you have.”
He pumped harder as my climax continued to build. I never knew it could be this amazing. He kissed me hard and we both exploded at the same time. I swear I saw stars. He collapsed on top of me, and we lay there for a long time before he rolled over on to his side and pulled me close to him. Without saying a word, he kissed the top of my head and we both fell fast asleep.
Chapter Six
I woke up and for a moment forgot where I was, then remembered when I felt Ryan’s arm around me. That was amazing, I thought in the split second before panic set in. What have I done? Guilt began to flood over me. I needed to get out of there. Everything I ran from—seeing my husband with another woman, knowing he was cheating on me—raised itself up to mock me. There I was in the arms of another man.
Fucking hypocrite. I began to move Ryan’s arm from around me, but that made him pull me closer. I was comfortable in his arms if I actually let myself think about it. Part of me didn’t want to leave, yet I knew I had to. There was so much going on in my life right now. All I was doing was adding a complication. Or a distraction, I could hear Jen say. I probably needed the distraction. I had been a hard few years. Ryan began to press himself into my back. I could feel his erection against my bottom and was immediately wet for him. His hand found its way to the front of me, sliding down to my apex.
“Wet for me already, beautiful?” he murmured.
“Mmmmmm,” was all I could muster.
He began to kiss the back of my ear while caressing my bud and sliding two fingers inside me. My body responded instantly. I wanted to turn toward him and kiss his succulent mouth, but he held me firmly in place.
“Stay still, baby.”
I did as I was told. As he continued to kiss and caress me, I could feel my climax building from deep with me.
“Ryan…” My breathing was already erratic.
“Yes, beautiful. That’s it. Don’t hold anything back from me.”
He turned me over onto my stomach while still stroking me and placed himself behind me. I could feel the heat of his erection near my entrance. I desperately wanted him inside of me. He replaced his fingers quickly with his hard cock, filling me. He took his finger and placed it at the entrance of my behind. I stiffened.
“It’s okay, baby, I won’t do anything to hurt you.”
He caressed the entrance to my behind while pumping into me. I relaxed and actually liked the sensation this created. I had never been touched there before. That was always taboo when it came to sex. Somehow, Ryan didn’t make it feel taboo. My climax came fiercely.
“Oh, Ryan, please,” I murmured. “Please, I can’t hold on any longer!”
“Let it go, baby. Come for me.”
His thrusting became more fierce. He pumped harder and harder, and I loved every moment of it. I became unglued beneath him, and with one last thrust, he spilled into me. Both of us collapsed, him on top of me.
He whispered in my ear, “That was amazing, beautiful.”
All I could do was smile because he was right, that was amazing.
If I was honest with myself, I would stay in his arms forever. Except I couldn’t—shouldn’t—be that kind of honest with myself right now. I needed to get some space from this amazing specimen of a man. He turned and looked at me. I didn’t think I’d ever seen more warmth and emotion coming from anyone’s eyes.
“Hey, beautiful, how about a picnic?”
I stared at him. When was the last time I had gone on a picnic? Come to think of it, I didn’t think I’d ever been on a picnic.
“Earth to Kate…come in, Kate,” he teased.
“I’m sorry, um, I…yes, I’d love to go on a picnic,” I said before I could change my mind. “I could use a shower.”
“Go right ahead. There are clean towels under the sink.”
I paused for a moment, self-conscious about walking around naked in front of this man, but then
I thought, fuck it, and sashayed into the bathroom—totally overconfident, but I didn’t care. I turned the water on and let it run for a minute and took some time to admire myself in the bathroom mirror. I had a glow to me. A good and fucked glow. I liked the reflection staring back at me. I got into the shower and let the warm water caresses my body. God, it felt good. I startled when I felt him behind me. “Hey there, beautiful.”
I didn’t say a word but simply stood there. I could feel his erection behind me and his breath on my neck. My nipples immediately stood at attention. He turned me to face him.
“Look at me, Kate.”
I couldn’t. I didn’t dare look at the emotion in the face of this beautiful man. I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve his sweetness.
“Kate,” he said, and lifted my chin so my eyes looked directly into his.
“Kate, I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t keep myself away from you. I want you. I want every piece of you. If you want me to stop, say stop. Otherwise, I'm going to take you right here in this shower.”
I gasped. I wanted him. My body responded to him in a way I had never responded to anyone. “I won’t tell you to stop, Ryan. For some reason, I can’t seem to.”
With that, he crushed his mouth on mine. The kiss was hard and hungry, as if we had never kissed before. So much passion and wanting was wrapped up in our mouths. I loved the way he tasted, how his mouth explored every area of mine, how my mouth seemed to fit perfectly with his. I could feel his hardness against my belly. I reached down to take him in my hand. When I did, he groaned into my mouth. I felt powerful. I tore my mouth from his and made my way down his chest to his nipples, then toward his happy trail. I got on my knees in front of him. Looking up at him, l looked him directly in the eye as I took him in my mouth.
“God, Kate, you have no idea what you are doing to me.”
With that, I sucked and licked his big, beautiful cock. I explored all of it, leaving no part of him untouched. I loved the feel of him in my mouth, the taste of his pre-come, so salty and sweet at the same time. I could feel him beginning to climax.
Wanted (The Dare to Dream Series Book 1) Page 3