by Abigail Roux
Cameron knew exactly what Julian was talking about; he’d thought about it for the past several days, wondering what it was about and what had happened. “You’re welcome. Did—” He paused, aware that he was about to be very rude. “Did you want dinner?” he improvised.
“It worked out fine,” Julian answered without looking away.
Cameron suppressed a shiver, feeling those black eyes focus totally on him. He clasped his hands behind his back. “Good,” he said quietly. “I… wondered,” he said, shifting his eyes sideways before raising them to look at Julian.
Julian nodded, ducking his head as if trying to keep Cameron’s eyes on him. “How much longer would I have to eat?” he asked.
Julian’s eyes were so intent, Cameron tried not to shuffle under his gaze. He glanced at the elegant wrought-iron clock on the wall. “About an hour,” he answered shakily. What would he do with no one in the restaurant but Julian?
“So you’ll be free in an hour,” Julian ventured as he tipped his head to one side. It seemed that he could never get enough power behind his voice to speak at volume. It was an intriguing trait in a man so big.
Cameron slid one hand into a pocket, trying to hide the slight tremble in his fingers. His pulse was already racing as he peered at the other man. “Yeah,” he answered without even wondering about the purpose of the question. If he let himself wonder, he wouldn’t be able to form coherent sentences. Then he tacked on, “I was actually getting ready to close early. You’re the first customer in almost two hours.”
Julian tilted his head the other way and then nodded curtly, letting his eyes travel over Cameron thoughtfully. “So if I were to leave, you could, in theory, meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes,” he surmised.
Subtle disbelief filtered into Cameron’s eyes. “In theory,” he agreed cautiously. Was the man coming on to him? How crazy was this?
Julian continued to look him directly in the eye for a long moment before nodding thoughtfully. “I’ll wait twenty,” he announced in a bare whisper.
What was this? Julian wanted to meet him for… what? A sizzling jolt shot through Cameron. His first impulse was to jump at the chance even though he knew absolutely nothing about the man or what he had planned. Was he really going to do this?
There was no question. Yes. Yes, he was going to do this even though it was insanely foolhardy. “I better get moving then,” Cameron said, unable to tear his eyes away.
The corner of Julian’s mouth twitched in what might have been a smile. He turned without another word and left, moving slowly and deliberately as he exited the restaurant. He always seemed to move in measured bursts like he was putting a lot of effort into reining in his stride.
Cameron wasted thirty seconds staring at the door and pondering the way Julian moved before he lurched to activate the locks and turn down the lights. He hurried through the restaurant and back into the kitchen, telling the sous chef to close up shop. By the time he’d finished locking up what needed to be secured, twelve minutes had passed. He swore, grabbed his heavy coat and scarf, and took off, pushing through the doors and loping toward the elevators.
Julian stood in the lobby, his big shoulders squared in his heavy wool overcoat as he stared out the glass front of the building and waited. The sound of the elevator as it arrived in the lobby was a tiny chime in the quiet of the marble floors and high ceilings. He glanced over his shoulder as Cameron stepped out of the elevator. Julian turned around and inclined his chin, visibly surprised that Cameron had actually come.
Cameron shrugged into his long, charcoal-gray coat and pulled the scarf slung over his arm around his neck, licking his lips nervously. Had the man not expected him to show up? Then why even ask?
Julian began walking slowly toward him. “Do you have someone to get home to on Christmas Eve?” the big man asked as he moved closer, his low voice carrying across the marble.
Cameron’s hands stopped on the coat buttons as he watched the other man approach, and he spoke before thinking it through. “No. That’s why I always volunteer to work.”
It had already occurred to him that Julian might be dangerous. But leaving alone with him, late at night, and admitting no one was waiting for him? It was not a very good idea at all.
“I wouldn’t want to keep you,” Julian murmured as he stopped several feet away. It was as if he could sense Cameron’s sudden unease and was trying not to alarm him by being too close or too loud.
Cameron was torn between a silent wave of longing and a tingle of apprehension. He waited until he was sure what he wanted to say would be what actually came out of his mouth, unconsciously licking his lower lip. “No one’s waiting.”
Julian nodded slightly. “I was going to suggest we talk while we walk, but it’s begun snowing again,” he said as he glanced at the window. “Do you mind?”
Cameron couldn’t stop the smile. “I love the snow.”
Julian smiled slightly and held his hand out toward the door, inviting Cameron to lead the way. Moving ahead, Cameron walked out into the snow, immediately stopping and grinning as he lifted his face to the big, fluffy flakes for a long moment before turning to move down the street. The snow was almost two inches deep, and he left tracks behind as he trekked through it.
Julian was soon beside him, walking with his head down. “She was trying to have her husband killed.”
Cameron glanced at Julian in surprise as they made their way down the sidewalk. He had no idea what to say to that. Should he ask? Was it appropriate? “And you…” he ventured after several yards.
“Had been hired by her husband,” Julian answered, his frozen breath billowing out in front of him. “For a slightly different purpose.”
“To keep him alive, I’m guessing,” Cameron said.
Julian shrugged noncommittally and turned slightly to look behind them. “I do this and that,” he finally answered. “I’m sorry I involved you.”
Cameron’s mind started racing, his imagination shifting into overdrive. He’d been hired to do this and that… maybe something that would get the wife mad enough to want to kill her husband? Remembering the conversation between the woman and Julian, he wondered if Julian had been catering to the husband instead of the wife. His cheeks heated a little at the thought, and he pushed the idea aside.
“Why did you involve me?” he asked curiously.
“Because I trust you,” Julian answered bluntly. “And I couldn’t do it myself.”
“How can you trust me?” Cameron asked in surprise. “You don’t even know me.”
“I consider myself a decent judge of character,” Julian answered as he lowered his head, watching where his footsteps fell.
Would this man never stop surprising him? Cameron mused over a reply. “Thank you,” he murmured.
“That’s an odd thing to thank someone for,” Julian observed.
Cameron stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “You complimented me, didn’t you?”
Julian finally turned his head to look at Cameron. “I suppose I did.”
Cameron gave another shrug. “Then it’s not odd at all.”
“What do you think of me?” Julian asked him, changing the direction of their conversation without warning.
Blake had asked him the same thing. It was a question Cameron still had no idea how to answer. Julian seemed to do that to him a lot: ask something, say something, whatever something knocked Cameron off balance. He thought back over the months of seeing Julian in the restaurant, wondering if he’d ever truly drawn any conclusions.
“I think you’re mysterious,” he admitted haltingly.
Julian started in obvious surprise. “Really?” he asked, the first word he’d spoken that didn’t seem measured.
“Yeah,” Cameron said with a shrug as they paused on the street corner. “Ten minutes total of near-silent interaction a week doesn’t offer a lot of information,” he pointed out. “So. Mysterious.”
Julian turned to face him as the snow began
to fall harder. “Is that all you think of me then?”
The tone of Julian’s voice made Cameron shift to look at him. The other man had several inches on him, and Cameron remembered the shift and pull of muscles under expensive shirts and jackets, the black of his eyes as they focused on nothing but him. “No,” he murmured distractedly. “I think…”
Julian raised an eyebrow as Cameron trailed off. “I ask because I think of you,” he told Cameron quietly. “Quite a lot.”
A look of complete shock covered Cameron’s face, and he blinked stupidly as they stood on the street corner. He’d never expected to hear that. Hadn’t even dreamed it. “You think of me?” he asked with a near squeak. “Why?”
Julian merely tilted his head and smiled as he watched Cameron.
Cameron stuttered a few incoherent words and then swallowed. “I did think about you,” he admitted after regaining some of his composure. “Especially after the first time you missed dinner. I mean, that first time you talked to me and then didn’t come back the next week.”
“You’re talking about the night I was hurt,” Julian supplied with an easy smile as they crossed the street and got to walking again.
“Oh. Well, I hope it wasn’t bad,” Cameron said awkwardly, remembering the sling Julian had worn.
“It’s always bad,” Julian said as he looked away, peering up into the falling snow.
Cameron’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that I wondered where you were that week when you didn’t come to the restaurant.” He paused. “It’s not my business though.”
Julian lowered his head, staring at the sidewalk for a moment before he looked back up at Cameron. “Do you really want to know?” he asked dubiously, coming to a halt on the snow-covered walkway.
Cameron stopped too. He knew to say yes would be admitting more than he wanted. But he was here, wasn’t he? He’d already forfeited any pride in the matter. “Yes?” he ventured, expecting to be rebuffed.
Julian stared at him for a long moment, his eyes raking over Cameron’s features and obviously contemplating him. “Would you believe me if I told you I was shot?” he finally asked with a mischievous glint in his black eyes.
Cameron stared at him. “Shot? Like, shot? By a gun?”
Julian tilted his head and nodded. “It’s hard to be shot with a knife.”
“So you’d been shot the week before, but you still came to dinner at Tuesdays?” Cameron looked doubtful.
“Two weeks before, actually,” Julian corrected. “I missed a week.”
“Didn’t it still hurt?” Cameron asked incredulously. “A lot?”
“Yes,” Julian admitted. “And it made me cranky,” he added with a slight reddening of his cheeks that wasn’t because of the freezing temperature outside.
“That was the night you asked for Miri,” Cameron remembered. “‘Tell the woman to bring the check’,” he repeated flatly.
Julian lowered his head silently. “I owe you an apology for that,” he finally stated.
Cameron shook his head, though Julian wouldn’t see it. “It’s okay. Blake explained. Sort of.”
It registered suddenly that Blake knew this man. Julian couldn’t be all that bad if Blake knew him, could he? Surely Cameron was safe with him. He stood there pondering, slightly dragging one foot back and forth, making a furrow in the snow as it fell between the towering concrete and glass buildings and onto the lit streets all around them.
Julian shook his head in return and gave Cameron a small, embarrassed smile. “My own time is very limited,” he explained. “I’m jealous of the time spent at the restaurant,” he said candidly.
“Jealous?” Cameron was at a loss. “I don’t understand. The food’s not that good,” he said.
“But the service is extraordinary,” Julian said softly.
There wasn’t any breath left in Cameron’s chest after Julian’s explanation, so he couldn’t even start to answer. He could only stand there as the sparkling flakes fell silently and thick around them, staring at the man he’d been fantasizing about for months. He finally shrugged helplessly, unable to think of anything else to do.
Julian shook his head again and smiled as he looked at Cameron. “I look forward to seeing you,” he explained. “Whether it’s bringing me my meal or waiting on the table next to mine. I don’t want someone else doing it.”
“All I do is serve the food.”
“And all I do is sit there and watch you,” Julian countered.
Cameron’s gut clenched and his breath caught. After several heartbeats, he blurted, “I watch you too.”
Julian’s face broke into a wide smile. It completely changed the way he looked, and even the way it felt to be around him. The apprehension that had tightened Cameron’s chest eased up somewhat, and he found himself staring raptly. Dark and brooding, Julian was sinfully handsome. But when he smiled, he was absolutely devastating, and Cameron didn’t think he’d be able to move from that very spot anytime soon. Not as long as Julian was smiling at him.
“I know,” Julian said simply.
“You… How?” Cameron asked. He did almost all his watching from the safety of the service area.
Julian looked at him silently for a moment and then smiled again and looked behind them. The snow had already blotted out their footprints. “Midnight Mass will start soon. I’ll let you go,” he finally murmured, not answering the question in the least. “I merely needed to tell you.”
Cameron couldn’t drag his eyes away. “Julian?” The word came out deep and slightly breathless. It was the first time he’d spoken it aloud.
“Yes?” Julian responded calmly in turn as he looked back at him.
For a wild, insane second, Cameron wished it were in him to do something brash. While working, he knew exactly what to do in almost every situation. Outside of work, it was decidedly the opposite. But right now he wished he had the nerve to ask this man, practically a stranger, to come home with him. He felt sure he wouldn’t get another chance. But he simply couldn’t force the words between his lips.
“How’s your arm now?” he asked weakly.
“It’s doing well,” Julian answered with another bemused smile. “Thank you for asking.”
Nodding, Cameron took a step back, telling himself to quit babbling and leave with a hint of dignity intact. “I’m this way,” he said, gesturing to the right.
Julian glanced in that direction and tilted his head like he wanted to say or do something but was uncertain. The quiet, frozen surroundings and Julian’s indecision stirred something unusual in Cameron, and from far away he heard himself ask, “Do you have someone to get home to on Christmas Eve?”
Julian looked at him closely as the snow began to fall even harder. It made it difficult to see, even though they stood only a few feet apart. He looked off in the direction of Holy Name Cathedral before returning his piercing gaze to Cameron and stepping closer. He shook his head, looking down at Cameron’s upturned face. “No one.”
The snow was getting so heavy it was catching on Cameron’s eyelashes, and he had to keep blinking. When he heard Julian’s reply, he steeled himself for what had to be the craziest thing he’d ever done in his life.
He held out his hand.
Julian looked down at it as if he wasn’t quite certain what it was and then back to Cameron in surprise. He reached out slowly and slid his fingers over Cameron’s trembling palm. The soft leather of his glove was cool, but warmer than Cameron’s chilled hand. Cameron closed his fingers around Julian’s, and after a moment, tugged lightly. Julian allowed himself to be led across the deserted street.
If Cameron let himself think about it, he knew he’d start to freak out. So he carefully didn’t think about anything but the next step: get home. He just kept walking, leading Julian along the sidewalk, through the piled snow that was getting deeper by the minute. Three blocks later he came to a stop in front of an older warehouse building that had been converted into condos, where
he chanced a look at the other man.
Julian was studying the building with a frown. “I find myself wanting to caution you against trusting people like myself,” he murmured to Cameron as he looked down at him. “I would still order the special if you sent me home right now.”
“People like yourself?” Cameron prodded.
“People who find themselves shot while working,” Julian provided as he stepped closer and enveloped Cameron’s cold hand in his own.
“Maybe you need taking care of?” Cameron responded uncertainly.
Julian’s eyes met Cameron’s with new intensity. “What would you propose?” he asked hoarsely.