I had the brotherhood of a lifetime, the bike of my dreams, and a job making moonshine. I finally earned enough to purchase an Indian Chieftain. The guys liked to give me shit because it wasn’t a Harley-Davidson, but I just took it in stride. My bike was more eye-catching than theirs ever thought about being, dark blue with black leather saddlebags and fringe. The chrome on it made the bike stand out, the darkness of the blue against the crisp clean shine. It was sleek and smooth and not as deafening as a hog. Most bikes turned heads, but mine stopped people in their tracks, and made them back up to inspect it. There was something to be said for the first American-made bike on the road. Harley has that title but if one does the homework, it was Indian that started it all. After I put all the guys in their place with their motorcycle facts, they shut up and left me alone. I pulled out all the stops. Google, encyclopedias, library books—you name it, I used it to prove my point.
I didn’t need the distraction of a house full of women. My life had finally found its new normal, and I for sure didn’t want to have that slight bit of normalcy varied in any way.
"You know I don’t like change."
"Fury, look, if it were you in this situation, we’d help you and your girl too. Deal with it," Magnum clipped.
"Fine, I get it. I just don’t like it."
"Who knows? Maybe you’ll find your forever girl."
"Not fuckin' likely. My forever girl is gone, and I won't ever see her again." I surprised myself when I said it aloud.
Apparently I looked like someone had kicked my puppy because Magnum asked, "Man, are you okay? I'm not one for sharing secrets and having heart-to-hearts, but you look like something inside is eating you alive. You need anything?"
"No. That ship’s sailed."
"Whatever, dude. It’s written all over your face that whatever happened to mystery girl isn't out of your head yet."
"No. And it never will be." I turned and walked away before I said or did something I’d regret. Anger lit me up inside as I walked away, my secret weighing heavy on my chest at the moment.
I needed an out. A ride would clear my mind, and I could sort through my thoughts and rein in my frustrations.
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath before I started up my bike, and took off. When I got in these funks, the only thing that helped was riding. There was something about going fast on two wheels with the wind in my face and the humming of the tires against the pavement that was so relaxing and tranquil. All of the thoughts running rampant in my head were silenced and hushed, buried deep in my psyche until the next time they returned unannounced.
I found myself riding westbound on I-10 at speeds fast enough to outrun my memories and thoughts of times past, never hearing the wind, pipes, or sounds of traffic flying by as I breezed past them.
I was on a mission. I wasn’t sure it was a smart one, but one I had to do. I couldn’t go on like I had been for the past two years. I had to see her again. See for myself once and for all that she’d moved on and was living her life, as if the last time wasn’t enough. I would see her this time and wouldn’t return to the likes of Austin again. This was my farewell. My ‘till we meet again.’ My one last time, for real this go-round.
About twelve hours later, after a couple of gas stops and bathroom breaks, I pulled up in front of the house I used to occupy. She’d done work to the yard, giving it curb appeal that was lacking when I lived there. Pretty magnolia trees perfectly lined the driveway; azaleas and hibiscus, her favorite, filled the flower beds to either side of the front porch. Bright pinks and reds popped out against the house’s new paint color—gray. I never liked it and would always tell her no when she talked about it. I guess she finally got her way.
I saw movement in the window, so I started moving slowly until I noticed a small boy. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He looked like the man in my mirror with his red-brown hair, hazel eyes, and freckles. I had freckles as a kid, though I seemed to have outgrown them.
To my surprise, he waved at me. I didn't realize he saw me, so I waved back as my heart swelled. I’d just made contact with my child, the one I would never speak to or hug. The one who better off without me in his life.
While caught up in my temporary mental lapse, I saw Daisy come to the window. I was stuck, frozen in place. The window was open, and I heard her say, "Eric, who are you waving at?" Her voice was the same as it always was, able to hold me in a trance and make me give in to whatever she wanted. That voice could reason with me when no one else could.
He replied in his innocent young voice, "I don’t know, Momma. Some man on a motocycle."
She looked out the window and stared at me just as I stared at her. Though I knew who she was, she didn't recognize me. My hair was much longer now, I’d been working out so I was muscled up, and I had tattoos that I didn’t have then. She’d changed too, but she was still as gorgeous as ever. She waved at me and nudged our son away from the window.
And just like that, I knew I was done. If she didn’t recognize me, even with my changed appearance, she was over me. But why would she have even thought it was me? I was dead to her. She buried me, as did the whole damn town.
I had to move on now. I had no more business moping around. I had to start living again. She had, and our son was clearly doing well. Life turned out just like I’d wished for them.
Better off without me.
As hard as it was to accept that, there was a novel feeling of closure.
With one last look around the place that used to be home, I revved up the bike and headed back east. Twelve hours of riding for a five-minute stop wasn’t a fair trade, but it was what it was.
I decided for everyone on the road's sake and safety that I should probably get a room for the night. I needed a beer anyway, so I pulled off at a gas station about three hours east to get more gas, a six-pack of Sam Adams, and smoke a cigarette. I needed something stout tonight.
Before I drank myself into a somber state of being, I decided to text Chief.
Me: Had to get out of town for a bit. I'm fine. Staying in hotel tonight. Be back tomorrow sometime.
Chief: You sure?
Me: Yeah, I'm good now. Just needed a breather. Clear my head.
Chief: You didn’t do anything stupid, did you?
He knew me better than most and knew roundabout what I was doing. I’d never come right out and said what I was doing when I left on my solo tangents, though I wouldn’t lie to him. He just didn’t know who or what I was trying to get out of my head.
Me: Not too stupid. I'm done now. I won't be coming back. Saw what I had to see and accomplished what I came to accomplish. I'll be back tomorrow sometime.
I hit Send, then popped open a beer. My phone rang and I checked the caller ID, seeing it was Chief. I decided I didn’t really want to talk to anyone and just let it ring. He was a relentless bastard though and kept calling until I answered.
"Yeah?" I said with no hint of emotion in my voice.
"Next time you feel like going off and getting your feelings in check, you might want to clue someone in first."
"Didn’t know I needed a keeper. Sorry. Don’t worry though. Like I said, I won't be leaving to come back here again."
"You all right?"
He knew I was vulnerable and unstable at the moment, but he also knew I wasn’t going to do anything extreme. I had a club to help run, so I had to be coming back with my head on straight.
While I waited on his wise words of wisdom, I drank my second beer.
"Fury, I won't ever understand why you do what you do. Nor would I want to understand you. Your head has got to be a scary place sometimes, battling the person you used to be before the club and the person you are now. I think you’re a moron for not at least telling us where you were going, and you need your jaw jacked for leaving without telling anyone, but if it gave you what you needed to finally move on with whatever the hell you need to move on from, then great. We need you here. You’re an integral part of our family and a huge pa
rt of how our system works, and it would seriously suck if you weren't here with us. I gave you a chance four years ago for a reason. I need you. So get your feelings sorted out, and I’ll see you tomorrow."
"Chief, I meant it. I won't be coming back here. I got the closure I’ve needed for so long now. I’ll be home tomorrow sometime. Tonight I’m going to finish a sixer of beer and close this chapter of my life."
"Kid, you can't just turn it off like a damn light. You might be able to move on now, but it’ll still take some time to get over. You’re tough but you’re still human. Whatever you’re trying to drink away won't be fixed by a six-pack and a smoke. Everything happens for a reason. Just be careful and don’t do anything stupid." He paused, then said, "Fury, once in, always first. Remember that."
He ended the phone call with a statement that I couldn’t have needed to hear more. He always had a way of making me see what was truly important.
I finished my beers and said out loud as I laid my head down, "I will always love you, Daisy. You’ll always have a piece of me. I just wish things were different and I could share that piece with you. Take care of our son."
Chapter 5
Fury
DAISY IS STILL on my mind, probably always will be. Now I have a whole house full of rowdy excited women that just conquered a huge feat by winning the World Series in women's softball. There is one in particular that has a certain something about her that I can't describe. Rumor. Never have I seen such a mysterious girl in all my life. Her demeanor is fun and bold, as she celebrated the win. She has the prettiest golden hair I have ever laid my eyes on. The beachy waves that hung mid-back bounced with every move she made. Her eyes are an icy blue color, almost clear. She was tall and thin, not stick thin, but not full figured either.
It took some guts for me to even get the nerve up to say hello. I felt like a teenager asking a girl on a date for the first time. I hadn't had to initiate much since Daisy was no longer a part of my life. All of the club whores always initiated, so I was terribly out of practice. I wasn’t entirely sure I even wanted to pursue her. I realize that women are not something that I can, or ever will have a meaningful relationship with again, but there is something about those clear-blue eyes that I can't stop staring at. She grins and blushes every time our eyes meet. She turns her head away from me so that I can't see her face, and goes back to talking with her teammates.
"Fury, just go say hi to her for fuck's sake. She won't bite…..too hard." Magnum rattled off as he walked past. "I have been watching you make goo-goo eyes at her since you got back."
"It's not that easy."
"Sure it is. Watch."
I knew where this was going and it was like a train wreck I couldn’t stop.
"Hey, you there. Yeah, you with the blonde hair and red cheeks. Come here a sec."
"Fuckin' A man did you really have to do that? Look the poor girl is totally humiliated." I walked over to her to hopefully end some of her embarrassment and take some of the pressure and looks of others off her.
"Uhh, sorry about that. He is a first-class idiot, and top-notch asshole.” Trying to find words instead of grunts and stutters was proving to be a little more difficult than I remembered, but I finally found some, "So, congratulations are in order. You did amazing out there."
"Thank you."
"You want a beer or something?"
"Only if you have any Michelob Ultra Light." she said and then winked at me.
"That is a good question. Would you like to come to the kitchen and look? Maybe people would stop looking at you, no thanks to Mag, and go back to minding their own business."
"No, thank you."
"Okay, I will be back in a minute."
I looked around and found a stash of all kinds of beer. I grabbed her a Michelob Ultra Light and walked back out to the crowd. I saw her and took in the sight. All of the girls there and the only one that caught my eye was Rumor. I had to get out of here and get a handle on myself. Maybe I just needed a fling. That would explain this weird state of chaos my mind was in.
"Here you go. There are more in the fridge, if you want them. Help yourself. "
She took it from my hands, and her fingers grazed mine as she took it out of my hand. Upon contact, our eyes met, albeit brief, there was a set of clear eyes looking back at me.
"Thank you."
I just nodded my head in content. She tried to open it but it was a twist top and was unsuccessful. She started to use her shirt and I stopped her.
"Give it here."
She handed it back to me, I opened it for her, and returned it. The fog from the beer swirled out of the top of the bottle like a genie. Rumor watched it for a few seconds then took a sip.
"Sugar, don’t need to sip your beer. Drink that shit. It gets too hot too quick if you don’t."
"I'll remember that. Thank you again." She said as she turned her body away from me and headed back to join her team.
I watched her for a minute. Laughing, smiling, and not a care in the world.
Not able to put her or the situation to rest, I walked up to the group and listened in on the conversation, against my better judgement.
"That is a feeling that I can never have again. Winning the World Series was a once in a lifetime thing and I am so glad I got to do that with you girls." Charlie declared with so much truth and emotion behind her words that you could almost feel her feelings.
"It was a rather kick ass game if I do say so myself," Whiskey gloated.
"The fact that you were the winning run, and the way that it went down made it perfect. Your dad would've been proud." Jazz chimed in.
I knew because of recent events, that Charlie had a shitty go of things. So for her, I bet this was a monumental event.
I decided that I was going to go downstairs and fiddle around with the still. It was about time to run off a batch again, anyhow. I had a couple of buyers in line . Everything started playing in my head, Rumor, the Regulators, Charlie and the issues she had that we helped eliminate just a short time ago, the next run of shine, even keeping some kind of order in the house until these ladies left and went back to Rudy.
While I was in the basement, Chief came to check on me and see what I was up to. I decided to run a big batch instead of a little one, that way we have a backup supply.
"Alright, Fury, talk. What is on your mind?"
"Rumor, the chaos upstairs, Rumor."
"Ahh. I see. Why is she so heavy on your mind?"
"I don’t know, that’s the fucking problem. I can't shake her out of my head. I keep telling myself that I need to leave it alone, and not get involved in any way with anyone ever, but I’ll be damned if she won't get out of my head. Her hair, her physique, those lips, and not to mention those clear eyes of hers won't leave my mind. Plus, she has a certain mystery to her."
"You think it is just that you find her attractive?"
"I already told you, I don’t know."
"Look, you are over thinking this. You barely even know her. You don’t know if anything will come out of this, or even if she wants a this, so calm down. She may not want anything to do with you. Just feel her out. Don't rush anything. Hell, she is only here for about a week anyhow. I doubt that you will find the one you want to marry this week."
"You’re right. I am just so damn rusty at this. I don’t know where to start."
"You will figure it out. You got a buyer for this moonshine, or are you just letting off steam and getting your wits about you?"
"Both." I said honestly.
"It will all work out. Who is buying this round?"
"Jay. Something is weird with him lately. I am almost having second thoughts about selling to him."
"How so?"
"He’s s just acting funny since Whiskey put a beat down on Sully and Charlie beat his ass when she helped Whiskey with that run a week or so ago. Sully may have some sort of revenge plotted that we aren’t privy to. He’s just acting shady."
"Cut ties. No more business
with him. I don’t care if he is one of our biggest customers. There are more, and we can't afford to have him snitch on us."
"Chief, that is dumb. He can't snitch on us. We have him on video buying it and he knows it. Let us at least make this money off of him and then be done. I will tell him when I deliver it that we are no longer business partners. I just get a really bad vibe from him, so I will be happy to deliver that news. Magnum already told him that we don’t do business with idiots, so he has to know it is coming."
"Don’t fuck this up."
With those last words he left me to my shine and my thoughts. Did I really want to talk to her? Did I really want to attempt to come out of my shell and go for something? Time would tell.
After I ran a batch off, I shut the still down and made my way back up the stairs, and was shocked that Whiskey, Charlie, and Rumor were still up. I had clearly interrupted something, because everyone silenced as I approached the top of the stairs.
"So, Rumor, what did you want to do while you are in PCB?" Charlie asked.
"Oh you know, just hang out on the beach and maybe go shopping or something. Nothing spectacular. I kind of just want to relax and soak up some sun. What about you? Seems as if you would be the one that would need relaxation more than anyone."
"Oh girl, I want to soak up all the sun, and go get a massage for sure. Then I don’t care what I do. I just know that drinks are going to be involved." She giggled out.
"Charlie, let's go to bed, yeah?" Whiskey suggested, and she nodded at Rumor as they exited to their room.
There we were, the two of us, standing there staring at each other so confused and clueless. Oddly enough, she asked if I wanted a beer.
"So, umm, since you got my beer earlier, I could be nice and offer to go get you one." She said, making eye contact with me with those clear eyes.
Rumor's Fury Page 3