Creed picked up pieces of me all while trying to hold his own pieces together. I knew that Crosby was his best friend, but I was the one in love with him. I was the one that was supposed to live happily ever after with him, bare his children, and take his name. My world was thrown off its axis and I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it right.
Creed did. Time went on and I slowly began to heal. Creed and I talked daily and saw each other every other day. He did his best to make sure I coped, and after about a year, our old flame started to flicker back to life. It was almost like someone above was rubbing the both of us together like a couple of sticks and blowing on us to catch fire again. We always assumed it was Crosby. He would have wanted us to be happy. Crosby knew that Creed would take care of me and would have been alright with the idea of the two of us together.
Alas, I was yet again robbed of a happily ever after. Creed disappeared with no trace, not a phone call, not a letter, not even a goodbye. I am still not convinced that he isn't around somewhere. I was left with nothing again and this time, there is no one to heal my wounds, no one to take the pain away, and no one to help dry my tears. Only the love of my sisters. It’s a lonely life, and I miss a male companion.
The law suspects me of foul play or something of the like because of the inexplicable nature of the disappearance case and the fact that my previous boyfriend was also gone. They tried to tie the two together, but they can't. They still give it hell though. I would never hurt Creed. I am just as dumbfounded as everyone else is.
So, now I try to not have much to do with men. Everyone I get close to leaves me, family included. At least my grandfather had a reason to go. Cancer. I watched him suffer and was greatly saddened by his loss, but so relieved that he was out of pain. My father was another good example of the bad juju that followed me like some black cloud of demise. He left without a trace when I was a small child. My mother and my step dad raised me. My step dad was the only one that I was sort of close to that is still around. We aren't as close as we once were because I have shut myself off from him. It is really for his own good.
My girls on the softball team are the glue that hold me together now. I depend on them. That is part of the reason I was so pissed at Charlie when I found out what that asshole, Hensley, had been doing to her. She never let on that anything was wrong. I found out later that it was to protect all of her teammates, but it still shouldn’t have gone on as long as it did. When I found out, I hurt for her. I wish she would have let us in and let us help her.
Once my wits were about me, and I realized the dream was indeed just a bad dream, I calmed down and laid my head back down. I attempted to go back to sleep, but there was no hope. There never is when I have the nightmare, so I got up and went to make coffee.
Fury was already up and was making breakfast. "Mornin'. You want some eggs?"
"No." I clipped and went to the coffee pot. I had no real intention of giving him a chance to apologize.
"Okay, do you want anything else?"
I looked at him for a minute, my eyes set on him, glaring, daring him to say another word.
"I guess that's a no. Okay then. Have it your way." He turned around and tended to his breakfast.
I had an internal battle with myself about whether or not to confront him on his jackass attitude, or to just let it slide. If I let it slide, then he would think it is okay to treat people like that and imply that I am some push over. On the other hand, I usually say just exactly what I feel when I am mad, and right now I am beyond pissed.
"I don’t know who in the hell you think you are biting my head off and then just walking out last night. I didn’t take too kindly to it. I don’t appreciate being treated like that. I am still not sure what I even did. You made it very clear to me that you didn't enjoy my company, but I don’t know why. I would still like to be clued in as to what I did that offended you so badly. You know, on second thought, it really doesn’t matter. I don’t care to discuss anything further with you. I will be polite and civil because I am staying in your home, and that is the respectful thing to do, but don’t bother talking to me." I got my coffee and went to the deck. I would give anything for Charlie girl to come out here. Maybe that would steer him away from me. I was certain that he would come and try to say he is sorry. Any decent person would.
Much to my surprise, he didn't. I was relieved to be honest. I didn’t want to face him and have to confront him more. I drank my coffee in peace as I listened to the waves crash against the sand. Lost in my thoughts of nothing and everything, I stared at the beautiful scenery in front of me. The waves were calm and relaxing, the birds were starting to chirp and fly around looking for their morning meal, and the sun started to cast its warmth on me. A school of dolphins proceeded to jump out of the water and were making quite a scene playing around with one another, speaking to each other in their dolphin chatter. I caught myself smiling and thoroughly enjoying the sight. All previous stresses and woes were pushed away.
"That's a good sight to see. I'm glad my asshole ways didn’t completely take away your smile."
The calm, serene setting that I was in turned tense. "I thought I said I wasn’t talking to you."
"You did, and that’s why I came out here. If you aren't talking to me then you won't interrupt me as I apologize. So, I am sorry. I don’t talk about certain things, and the meaning in this tattoo is something only I know about and that is how it’s going to stay. I could have been nicer about it, and for that I'm sorry. I would appreciate it if you would accept my apology. I would like for your remaining time here to not be tense."
"Well, for an asshole, you give a pretty good apology. I accept.", I replied as I stood and walked past him back into the kitchen. Just because I accepted didn’t mean I was just going to be hunky dory with everything and move on. I was still pissed. My feelings were hurt, and my pride was bruised. I still felt rejected. As I refilled my cup, I heard rustling around. Whiskey had gotten up and stumbled into the kitchen.
"Mornin'. How are you this morning?"
"Mornin' to you, too. Charlie is still sleeping I suppose?" I asked.
"Of course. She isn't rolling out of bed till at least nine o'clock. You hungry?"
"Not right now. Maybe in a little bit." I said as I made my way past him. "I think I'm going to go watch tv for a while."
"You’re at the beach, and you want to watch the tube? Are you alright?"
"I'm good. Just not feeling the beach at the moment." I lied. I would love nothing more than to be on the beach right now, but I didn’t want to see or be around Fury. I would just wait til the others got up.
I heard the patio door slide open and knew that Whiskey had gone out on the deck. I purposely didn’t turn the volume up on the tv, because I knew that I would be able to overhear their conversation through the window.
"Why are you out here by yourself?" Fury asked his brother.
"Charlie is still sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her, you?"
"Oh, you know, I came to apologize for being a dick and she still left me out here. I don’t blame her. I don’t deserve her, or for her to want anything to do with me. That’s fine. It's for the best. Knowing my luck, we would hit it off really well and then she would have to go home to Rudy. I just can't help looking at her. She is.."
"I know man. I have one too. Only mine isn’t pissed off at me. Give her time. Try again later if you want to talk to her. I must say though, I have never seen you this disappointed by rejection."
"Maybe it's because she isn't a whore that is just looking for a man to take care of her. She doesn’t hop from bed to bed looking to be the next old lady." I overheard him say to Whiskey.
Well, it was the truth. I hadn't been with anyone since Creed. I don’t know that I am all that interested. I mean, yeah, he is sexy, but he is here, and I live hours and hundreds of miles away. That isn't something I want to take on. He and his life, are just something else for the law to meddle in.
I finally decided to
quit listening to them talk and turn up the tv. I found HGTV and turned on my favorite fixer upper show. I loved how the couple on screen made love and marriage look so real and fun. It was just fantasy for me though, I'd never be able to find my soul mate. I've had two and they both disappeared on me. It is nice to daydream though. Everyone should dream of having a happily ever after.
Lost in renovations and demolitions I hear, "Look, I deserve your silent treatment. I get it. Apologizing is new for me, so I’m fairly sure I still suck at it. I just wanted you to know that," followed by footsteps headed in the opposite direction.
"It's fine. It doesn't matter anyway. No big deal."
His steps halted and were followed by, "Don't. I was a jerk to you and I owe you that. Accept it and go on." Then the footsteps continued, getting softer and softer.
The thoughts inside my head knew that he was right. The second half of his apology did suck and was almost as rude as his comments. Then, the sound of feet hitting the floor evading the immediate area stopped and what followed was the sound of a deep breath and then, "Please."
"A for effort, buddy. You did manage to get a please in there, but it's just not enough. When you apologize it’s supposed to be nice and sincere, and you barked out an order. While I appreciate the thought of your apology, your delivery sucks. Just forget it okay? Forget it and go about your cranky ways and I'll act like this whole shitty thing never happened," I turned and saw something in his eyes. Remorse, regret, maybe it was uncertainty. Great, now I feel like the jerk in this equation.
"Look, Fury, I accept your apology, and thank you for being a big enough man to initiate it and realize that you did owe one."
He was in an internal war with himself and I saw it, plain as day. I wondered what he had to worry about.
"Rumor."
"Shut your mouth and listen to me. There is some kind of weird chemistry here and I think it would be cool to hang out or whatever. We don’t have to jump right into bed or anything like that. I don’t want anything from you. What is so wrong with just talking and enjoying someone else's company? Is your life really so miserable that you don’t want that?"
He continued to look at me with that foreign stare. "It's complicated and I haven't had to deal with any of this in a very long time. I would like to have a friend, of course, but I know that I am just going to fuck this up. I'm not a nice person. Honest to God, I haven't talked this much to anyone else, not even the guys, nor have I wanted to try. I'm not real sure why I kind of want to talk to you."
He stopped talking and let the words sink in. "See? I can even manage to screw up something that simple. You should just go and find someone else to talk to."
He stared at me like I was some kind of mermaid or something, as if he was waiting for me to just scamper off and do as he said.
"Look, no one tells me what is good for me and what isn't. I make that call. Frankly, I'm old enough to dial that number on my own. I don’t need a man to tell me that I do, or don’t deserve something. I am quite aware of how that works. I will get out of it what I put into it. As far as fucking this up, there is nothing to fuck up. There is no this. I am a big girl and can handle getting my feelings hurt, or late-night chats, or whatever else you throw at me. Bring it on. But do not tell me what I should and shouldn’t do."
His lips and eyes turned hard, but they were quickly replaced with softer eyes and a small crows foot wrinkle in the corner of his eyes, and a gentle upward curve to his lips. I feel like perhaps a brick in his wall had been pecked out. It was a start.
"Now, if you will excuse me, I was watching a pretty awesome beach house renovation and I'd like to get back to it." I said as I turned back towards the tv.
"What the hell just happened?" I heard him mumble as he walked away.
Instead of saying, oh that was you being served some of what you dish out to others. It doesn't taste too good, now does it? I just let it be and gave him his moment. I had hands down taken that argument for the win. He knew I was right, and he now knows that I am no one's puppet.
Another couple of episodes play and Charlie finally brought herself downstairs. "What the actual fuck did you do to him?" she asked me.
"Oh, I slept fine and had a peaceful night’s rest, thanks for asking."
"I expect that attitude from Raige. Spill it sister."
"I told him I wasn’t going to put up with his shit, pretty much. Why?"
"Because, he is in his room talking to himself and hitting shit. That’s why I am wide awake and chipper this morning." she said as she rolled her eyes.
"Good grief."
"Go talk to him, would you?"
"Nope, let the big bastard stew on his actions for a while. I am now on a mission to see how long it takes to tame the beast. If nothing else comes from this trip, other than a championship, I will break down his walls. What a sad miserable life it must be for him." I replied as the truth of the matter escaped my mouth. I said out loud.
"You like him, don’t you?"
"He is attractive, but you know I don’t date anymore, not since Creed." I snapped and glared at her, daring her to keep on.
She knew she struck a nerve and decided to go get her coffee. Banging and clanging around made watching tv hard, so I decided to go get my swim suit, head to the beach, and walk this last hour off. I had to clear my head, rid my mind of all of the comments and thoughts over what happened.
While walking the shoreline, I took in the salty air, the birds, the dolphins, and some kind of small jumping fish. A mile or so must have passed, so I turned and headed back. Only, this time, I was looking for sea shells and sand dollars. With my head in the sand, I trekked on until I saw feet other than my own. Startled, I gasped.
"Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your thoughts." Chief said as he took a step back. "Calm down, and for the love of God, let your fist relax."
I had my arm reared back and ready for action and didn’t realize it.
"Well, damn, you scared me."
"Sorry. What are you doing alone anyhow?"
"Clearing my mind."
"I heard. Just have patience with him. He wants to open up to you a little. He just doesn't know how."
"Why is it so hard for him to talk to anyone? Let alone me. And why is it that you know all about his feelings and are the one that is telling me this instead of him? Is he incapable of speaking his feelings to me?"
"He doesn’t deal well since he got burned the last time. He has this screwed up notion that if he treats people like shit then they will leave him alone and not meddle in his life. He honestly thinks he is better off alone, outside of his brothers. You are the only person I have ever seen him apologize to since I met him. There is something there that you shouldn’t over look, and frankly, he is incapable of talking about his feelings, as feminine as that sounds. I guess I never thought of it like that."
"Chief, I came out here to rid my head of crap like this, not to have it filled with more of it."
"Look, Rumor, I’m telling you that you have something special that he likes, or better yet, needs in his life. He connects with you for some reason. Please don’t give up on him. Don’t take his shit, but don’t give up on him."
"You act like I have done something huge and amazing. I told him I wasn’t putting up with his attitude, pretty much."
"He needed that. He didn’t much like hearing it, but it did him good. Just think about it, yeah?"
"Not right now. I'm trying to find sand dollars. I don’t want to think about him."
I start looking down at the ground and he reaches out his hand. There lies a sand dollar in his palm.
"Are you freaking kidding me right now? I can't get away from you people," I sighed. "Fine. I won't give up. I had already made it a mission to break down some of his walls and make him realize that life is more fun with people in it. There, are you happy? Damn, all I wanted was a little time alone on the beach to find shells and sand dollars and I can't even manage that." I said as I walked away again
.
"Thanks, Rumor. You will be glad you stuck this out."
I turned around and glared at him, while seriously thinking about flipping him the bird.
How does he know? Was he some matchmaker? Well, joke's on him.
Once I was back on the beach in front of the house, I saw Charlie and Whiskey all cozy on the deck with Jazz and Briar. Those couples were almost sickening, but deep down, I did envy them. The end of the Gun's and Roses song November Rain started playing in my mind over and over.
Don't ya think that you need somebody?
Don't ya think that you need someone?
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one, you're not the only one
Axel had a point, but my somebody had come and gone, twice. What if I could help Fury? What if I could make him see that he doesn’t have to be an ass to people? Was it possible to soften the hardness that encased his very being? Time would tell. I had a little less than a week to see what kind of magic I could work.
Chapter 7
Fury
DOWN IN THE basement, I was running off a batch of moonshine to deliver to Jay. He would soon find out that this is his last load from us. I'm fairly sure that it is going to piss him off and cause him to fly off the handle, but that is the price he pays for being stupid.
There were other buyers for our shine. Something is just not right with him and Sully. There were just little things he had said and done that pissed me off. He crossed the line when he went after Charlie when she was delivering his shine. I can't have, nor will Whiskey put up with, Jay thinking about, or actually crossing that line again.
Rumor's Fury Page 5