by K. C. Crowne
It was there, though, sure as hell. Seeing the word on the page, her name right after, only made it clear how I felt. I loved her. I loved Jess. And I wanted her back more than anything. I’d sent her away, though. Sent her packing and out of my life like she’d been an irritating guest who’d overstayed her welcome.
My hand seemed to move on its own accord. My fingers danced over the keyboard with a fury, dialing the number she’d left at the bottom of the page. The phone rang. Once, twice, three times.
“Aw, hell!” I hit the end button and shoved my phone back into my pocket as quickly as I’d taken it out.
Then it rang. The number on the screen was the one I’d just dialed. Jess was calling me back. I held the phone for a moment, letting it vibrate in my hand. God, I wanted to talk to her more than anything. Truth be told, I wanted more than that. I wanted to see her, to hold her, to cover her gorgeous face in kisses and never let her go.
But I couldn’t bring myself to answer. My heart was heavy as I hit the silence button and put my phone away. What the hell would I even say to her? The damage had been done, and I had no idea how to even begin trying to repair it.
Over the next couple of weeks, I did my damnedest to try and get back to my pre-Jess routine. Luckily there was plenty to do on the ranch. Juniper and Red needed plenty of attention, and that wasn’t even getting into the usual care the rest of the animals needed. Work was good – it was what I needed to distract me from thoughts of Jess.
With the rest of the family, Jess remained a tense topic. Everyone knew she’d left, of course, and it was understood without having to spell it out that she hadn’t left under the best of terms. The rest of the family knew better than to poke their noses in it, though. Everyone but Mama G.
“Alright,” she said one day after a lunch of shepherd’s pie. The day outside was crisp and overcast, and I was about to head back out. “You haven’t said a dang peep about Jess.”
The rest of the family had left the dining room; she and I were alone as I finished my breakfast. I didn’t say anything at first, hoping the subject would pass like a cloud in the sky if I gave it some time. I sopped up a small pool of gravy with a chunk of buttermilk biscuit and stared ahead.
“Not much to say,” I said finally, wiping my hands.
Mama G let out a sharp crack of a laugh as she collected the plates from the table. “Wyatt, you might think you’re a good liar, but you ain’t. At least not with me – I can spot you tellin’ tales from a mile off. Now, you gonna tell your mama about what’s knockin’ around that head of yours, or are you gonna make me fish it out?”
I laughed. Anyone else trying to get into my head like that wouldn’t have gotten far, or even made the damn attempt. Mama G, on the other hand, always had a way with her kids that made them want to confide in her.
“I ain’t lyin’ when I say there’s not much to tell. I found out about her workin’ with Amy. Turns out she was some kind of private investigator, the kind you pay to dig up dirt.”
“Well…” Mama G said as she took sat down across from me. “That ain’t good.”
“No, it most certainly is not.”
She shook her head, her eyes on my face. “She seemed like such a sweet girl, Wyatt. I’d bet the damn ranch there has to be more to the story.”
“Turns out there is. Maybe. She wrote me a letter a couple a weeks ago, told me that Amy pulled the wool over her eyes, told her some of her patented, made-up nonsense about me.”
“Now that’s a story I can believe,” she said, her wiry fingers wrapped around a steaming mug of black coffee. “Sounds like Jess, sounds like Amy. So what’s the problem?”
I shook my head. “I feel like I screwed things up good when I told her to take a hike. Not sure if there’s any comin’ back from somethin’ like that.”
“Now that’s a load of manure and you know it, Wyatt. You love the girl?”
There was that word again. I’d thought it, but I hadn’t said it aloud. Mama G locked eyes with me, and I knew she wasn’t going to let up until I gave her an answer.
“I do. I love her.” Speaking the words was the load off my shoulders I needed. I’d spoken truth.
“Then tell her,” she commanded as if I were six and needed to apologize. I grinned to myself. “Tell her how you feel. Because it’s gonna eat you from the inside out.” She leaned across, catching my eyes. Her seriousness straightened my spine. “There’re things a man can keep inside, son. But love ain’t one of ‘em. You let it out, or you carry that weight like a load of lead in your belly for the rest of your life.”
I said nothing, knowing she was right as rain. I tried to form words to say, but before I could my phone buzzed with a text. I took it out and checked the screen, my stomach clenching. A message from Jess with a picture attachment too small to see on the home screen. I swiped and opened the message.
It was a picture, alright. And it made my jaw drop to the damn floor.
The shot was of three pregnancy tests, all of them positive. The text with it read: “This isn’t the best way to tell you, but you need to know. Please call me soon.”
“What is it?” my mother asked, her eyes anxious as if she felt the tension in my body.
I was speechless, my eyes fixed on the picture. “Hell. Holy hell.” My legs sprang up and I was off. “I’ll, uh, keep you posted.”
“Posted about what?” she asked, her voice following me out of the kitchen.
I didn’t like to leave like that but sorting this business out was priority number one. Phone in hand, I scrambled to my cabin and dropped into my easy chair.
Pregnant? Was it true? I hated to admit it, but the first thing to come to mind was Amy. She’d pulled some BS like this. The first time I’d mentioned divorce, she’d dropped the baby bomb in an attempt to get me to stick around. Made up some test results and everything and let me believe it for a damn week. Only when I’d actually called the doctor to confirm did I find out the truth.
Would Jess pull some shit like that? My gut said no, but she’d lied to me before.
Then the strangest feeling coursed through my body.
It was hope. Hope that it was true. I wanted it to be true.
I scrolled through my phone and found Jess’s number. I stared at it for a good, long time.
Things had to be made right. Only trouble was, I didn’t know how to even begin.
Jessica
Rainbow Canyons loomed in the distance. I was an uninvited guest, and I was scared as hell.
But what else could I do? I was pregnant, alone, and scared. I’d sent Wyatt the text about the pregnancy yesterday, and he hadn’t responded. For all I knew, he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. The news might be awful, but I needed to know one way or another.
The gate was in front of me, and I pulled my car up to the intercom and pressed the call button.
“Howdy,” came the voice on the other end, a voice I recognized as Chance. “Welcome to Rainbow Canyons. How can I be of service?”
My mind went blank as I tried to think of what to say. As far as I knew, I was no longer welcome – Wyatt had made that clear when he’d booted me out.
I cleared my throat and spoke. “This is Jess. I need to speak to Wyatt.”
Silence. I imagined Wyatt standing near Chance, shaking his head at my words.
“Jess,” he finally said. “Been a long time. Too long, if you ask me.” His voice sounded warm and sincere.
“I agree. Is Wyatt around?”
“He’s around,” he said. “And as far as I’m concerned, you and him having a little sit down’s been a long time comin’. I’ll buzz you in. The man’s in his cabin. He gives you any guff, tell ‘im I told you to come.”
“Thanks, Chance.”
“My pleasure.”
The call ended and the gate opened slowly. I drove onto the property, my eyes locking onto Wyatt’s cabin the moment I spotted it in the distance. My gut tightened – it was now or never.
I pulled my car up to Wya
tt’s cabin and killed the engine. Once I did, I opened the glove compartment where I’d stashed the three pregnancy tests I’d taken. It was ridiculous, I knew it. I’d brought them as evidence, as if he’d be on the fence until I shoved those in his face. But if the picture of them hadn’t convinced him, seeing them in person wouldn’t do it either. I closed the glove compartment and got out.
It was a chilly day, unseasonably so for Texas. I pulled my coat tight and trudged to the cabin’s front door. Once in front of it, I sucked in another steeling breath before knocking.
Moments passed, and I began to wonder if he’d spotted me and was choosing to ignore me. What if I never saw Wyatt again? What if he’d decided to delete me from his life? The thought was enough to make me weak in the knees and sick to my stomach.
“I’m comin’. Hold your horses.” Wyatt’s voice boomed through the door. Relief settled over me as I heard his heavy footsteps come closer and closer to the door.
But him seeing me was only the first step in the process. I still had to find out whether he actually wanted to be a part of my life.
The door opened and there he was. He looked good as ever. He wasn’t wearing his usual cowboy plaid. Instead he wore a gray T-shirt and his standard pair of rugged jeans, along with some dirt-smeared cowboy boots.
He looked me up and down, as if not sure what to make of me. His face was expressionless. “Jess,” he finally said. “It’s good to see you. Come on in.”
He turned and headed into the cabin. It was strange, the way he’d greeted me. He hadn’t seemed at all surprised, as if he’d been expecting me.
I entered and took a seat on the couch, the fire crackling in front of me. I listened as Wyatt poured some coffee. I looked around, remembering the brief time we’d spent in the cabin before he’d kicked me out.
He came around the couch and handed me a mug of coffee before sitting down next to me.
“Hi, Wyatt.” I didn’t know what else to say. Seemed so silly, so businesslike.
Wyatt rubbed his chin, his eyes on the fire. Tension was in the air as I waited for him to speak.
He finally looked at me. “First thing I wanna say is I’m sorry. Sorry as hell. You wrote me that letter and I should’ve gotten back to you as soon as I could.”
“You tried,” I said, shrugging slightly. “You called and hung up. And didn’t answer when I called you back.”
He sat close to me, close enough that I could feel the heat from his body. I had no idea how the conversation was going to go but being near him felt so damn right.
“I know,” he said. “And I regret it like nothin’ else. I should’ve talked to you. But I didn’t. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Guess all I can say is sorry and hope you forgive me.”
The words didn’t come easy for Wyatt. He was a proud man, the type who didn’t like to admit he was wrong. But there he was, laying it out for me.
“Thanks.” But there was more, and we both knew it. It wasn’t a matter of a simple apology.
“Truth be told, I didn’t know what the hell to do. And that’s not a position I’m in all too often. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how badly Amy had burned me and how that scared the hell outta me.”
Another tough admission. I placed my hand on Wyatt’s thigh, squeezing it gently. He didn’t move it. In fact, the first smile I’d seen since I’d arrived flashed on his gorgeous lips. But it faded, as if he’d realized there was nothing fun about what he had to say.
“But that’s acting like a coward,” he continued. “And I wasn’t raised to be a coward. Don’t matter none the way some other woman treated me. It ain’t right to paint you with that same brush.”
A tingling spread from my heart, a small splash of hope that I hadn’t made a terrible mistake in coming here.
“The way you reacted,” I confessed, shaking my head. “It hurt. Not hearing anything from you made me wonder if you wanted me out of your life for good.”
He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment before looking at me. “It kills me to know I put you through that. I regret it like crazy, Jess, not saying anything one way or another.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“I don’t have a good reason. When you sent me that picture…”
And just like that, the topic was broached. Relief flood through me that he’d brought it up.
“I hate to admit it, but the first thing I thought was that Amy’d pulled the same shit. She’d pulled every trick in the book to wrap me around her finger, and you bet pretending she was pregnant was one of ‘em.”
“But you don’t think I’d ever do that, right?” I asked, hurt that’d he might. “That I’d lie to you about being pregnant?” As the words left my mouth, I remembered that he had good reason not to trust me. I’d lied about the camera, kept it from him.
“You told a damn big lie to me, Jess,” he murmured, frowning. “But you aren’t that kind of woman. I was mad as hell about the camera, about you not being one hundred percent straight with me. I understand why you did what you’d done. Couldn’t have been easy for you, having a secret like that but not bein’ able to explain to yourself why you had it in the first place.”
“But I know now, Wyatt,” I hurried to say. “And all I can say is that I’m so, so sorry.”
He placed his hand on mine, enveloping it in his rough, warm touch. “We both got played hard by the same woman, sounds like.” He smiled slightly, as if seeing the wry humor in the situation. “I’ve let her turn my life upside down before, and I ain’t gonna let it happen again.”
More warmth spread through my body.
“But there’s still the baby.” Saying the word out loud was strange. I’d known I was pregnant, but I’d never actually said baby out loud.
Wyatt turned, my hand still in his. “I’ve been thinkin’. And I want you to know right here, right now, that I’m gonna do right by you and the baby. This ain’t gonna be easy, but I know enough to understand what’s right.” He looked into my eyes as he spoke. “Jess, I don’t ever want to be without you again. I love you. I love you like crazy. And there isn’t a doubt in my mind that I’m gonna love that little baby like crazy too. But first, we’ve got to forgive each other.”
He gazed into my eyes, those golden orbs heavy with a vulnerability I’d never seen before. At that moment, we held each other’s hearts. All we could do was say the words and go from there.
“I forgive you, Wyatt. And I love you, too.”
His mouth spread into a smile, one of relief and happiness and love. And I felt the same damn way.
“Never apart,” he said. “Never again.”
“Never again.”
His hand moved from my leg, up along my body until it came to a rest on my cheek. I closed my eyes, letting Wyatt’s gaze wash over me. His touch, his look, his love – it was all I’d wanted.
I realized quickly how wrong I was. The moment his lips touched mine, I knew his kiss was what I’d wanted more than anything.
His lips on mine made my body melt. I sighed through his kiss, tears forming in my eyes that I fought hard. But there was no use – all he’d said and done was so overwhelming. I wanted his love, his body, everything else that Wyatt so clearly wanted to give me.
I kissed him back, his tongue dragging slowly over mine as our hands touched and caressed one another’s bodies.
“This is all I’ve been able to think about,” he said in between placing his lips on the gentle curve of my neck. “I’ve been going crazy without you, Jess.”
“Wyatt…” Nothing else came out. What could I have said to describe the way he made me feel?
He kissed the shell of my ear, his warm breath gliding over my face. Wyatt’s hands moved to the hem of my shirt, taking it and pulling the clothing over my head. I was wearing a simple, white bra. I’d been so anxious about the idea of seeing him again that it hadn’t occurred to me to dress sexy. Maybe in the back of my mind I thought that’d be pushing my luck.
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Wyatt’s shirt came off next, revealing the sculpted, toned body I couldn’t get out of my mind. We stripped to nothing but his gray boxer-briefs and my panties, the fabric between my legs soaked through.
“Couch is no place for this,” he announced.
Before I had a chance to respond, Wyatt wrapped his arm around the small of my back, the other scooping me up under my legs. With no effort at all, he lifted me from the couch, carrying me groom/bride style to the bedroom. We kissed as he carried me, my breaths deep with anticipation. We reached his bed and he laid me down gently, my hair fanning out around my face.
“God, you’re so beautiful I can barely even look at you.” He grinned, his eyes on me, taking in the sight of my nearly naked body.
I loved the way he stood over me, the notches of his hips disappearing into the waist of his briefs. He breathed in deeply, his broad, chiseled chest rising and falling.
“Please,” I said, reaching out to him. “I need you.”
“Jess, you have no idea how much I need you.”
Wyatt climbed onto the bed and on top of me. He lowered his head and continued to kiss me. The kiss was hot, without a doubt. But there was more to it than that. There was passion. There was tenderness.
There was love.
He reached down, his rough hand moving between my legs and rubbing my clit through my soaked panties. I moaned through the kiss, closing my eyes and letting the sensation of his touch against my pussy carry me away.
“I’m never gonna leave you again,” he said, his voice low and firm in my ear.
“Never,” I replied.
I rubbed his thick cock through his boxer-briefs, and together the two of us peeled off the last bit of clothing that separated our bodies. Once we were both bare, Wyatt dragged his cock over my pussy, the smooth glide of his head against me forcing out a low moan.
“I love you, Jess,” he murmured as he positioned his cock between my lips. “I love you like crazy.”
“Then make love to me. Make love to me now.”
“It’s all I want to do,” he swore. “Every damn day.”