by K. C. Crowne
“That’s my dad,” Ellie answered.
“And is that your mom?”
“Um, no. That’s Ms. Sam – she’s my teacher.”
“Oh. Where’s your mom at?”
“I don’t have a mom anymore.”
“What? How can you not have a mom?”
My gut tightened; I wasn’t sure how Ellie would handle questions about her mother.
“Because she went away.”
“Oh. That’s weird.”
The group went back to playing, but Ellie stayed still, her eyes on the ground in front of her. Sam and I caught up with her, and she turned her attention to us as we approached.
“You alright, little lady?” I asked.
She answered my question with her own, one that told me she wasn’t alright. “Daddy, where’d Mommy go?”
“Your mama’s no longer with us.”
“That’s what everyone said. I don’t know what that means. I just want my mommy back.” Her eyes filled with tears, and without another word, I knelt in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders. I wanted to be able to look in her eyes as we spoke.
“Your mama got into an accident.”
“With her car.”
“That’s right. And it was real sad. Most people get to live long, happy lives. But every now and then, bad things happen – sad and bad things. And sometimes people are taken before they get to grow old like Mama G.”
“Then where did she go?”
I pointed up to the brilliant sky, the colors orange and purple and black above. “That’s where she went – she went up to Heaven. It’s where good people like your mommy go when they die. And right now she’s up there, happy as can be.”
The smallest hint of a smile formed on Ellie’s face. “So she can still see me?”
“That’s right. And the best part is that even when someone who loves you goes to Heaven, they’re still with you all the time. That goes even more for a mommy and her kids. Right now, she’s up in Heaven, looking down at you, happy as heck because you’re such a great kid.”
“And she’ll be there waiting for me?”
“That’s right. But don’t get too eager – I bet you anything mommy’s hopin’ she gets to see you live a long, happy life with lots of grandkids to love.”
“Like Mama G.”
“Yep, just like Mama G.”
Her little brain mulled over the information, and finally, she announced, “It’s good that she’s still with me.”
I nodded. “She’s lookin’ down on you from up there, and I’m here for you down here.”
Another small smile. “Okay. I’m gonna go talk to Spencer now.”
“You go right ahead, kid. I’ll be here with Sam.” Ellie was off to join the other kids in their play.
“That was really good,” Sam complimented. “What you said to her.”
“Just said the first things that came to mind.”
She smiled. “I want you to think about that the next time you’re worried you don’t know what you’re doing. That little girl asked you the hardest question a parent has to answer, and you handled it like a pro.”
“Not sure I put her mind at ease, really.”
“I don’t think you really can with something like that. But you did a hell of a job.”
I smiled sheepishly at her. “Why, thank you, ma’am.”
“The whole situation has to be really difficult for you. Missing the first years of her life,” Sam commented gently, her way of asking.
“Well, you’re right. But I’m a grown man – life is all about learning how to handle the unpredictable. All I give a damn about is making sure that little girl can grow up happy, that she’s taken care of. Whatever my needs are, they’re secondary to hers.”
Sam did something that surprised me. She reached over and took my hand, giving it a light squeeze. “You’re a good man, Chance. You’re doing the right thing. And I’m happy to be a part of it, in my own small way.”
“More like a big way – you’re already helpin’ a lot.”
Her hand lingered in mine. I knew it was wrong, that she and I shouldn’t be holding hands for any length of time. But her touch felt so good, so right. We pulled our hands away at the same time as if making the same realization together.
“Anyway,” I said, clearing my throat. “We’re about at the last leg of the walk. I oughta get to the head and lead them down the rest of the way.”
“Sure.”
I broke myself away from her side and made my way to the front of the group. I called out to them, letting them know we were almost back to the ranch grounds. We walked for another twenty or so minutes, eventually arriving in front of the main cabin. I reminded them about the dessert and coffee and beer inside, and soon they were gone.
I checked my watch. The sun had long set, and thousands of stars were twinkling above.
“Wow,” Ellie exclaimed, staring up. “There are so many more stars out here.”
“It’s beautiful,” Sam agreed.
“It’s so pretty!” Ellie said, letting out a big yawn, stretching her arms. My girl was dead-on-her-feet.
“Alright, kid – let’s get you inside and ready for bed.”
“But I’m not tired.”
Sam and I both laughed at the same time.
“Sure, sure,” I said. “How about this – you get washed up and in your jammies, and if you’re not ready for bed after that, you can stay up for a bit. Sound fair?”
“Alright.”
“And we can stay in the main house tonight. Now, let’s get a move on.”
Ellie hurried to the front door as if wanting to prove she still had some energy in her yet. She threw it open and rushed up the stairs.
“How you feelin’, Sam?” I asked as I held the door open for her.
“Good. Tired myself.”
“Not surprisin’. Been a long-as-hell first day. But a good one – I’m thinkin’ I made the right call in bringin’ you on board.”
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“Care for a little adult beverage before the evening gets too far on?”
“That sounds nice. Maybe some whiskey and coffee?”
I grinned. “A woman after my own heart.”
“I’ll get it if you want to check on El. Meet you in the library?”
“Sounds good.”
We shared a smile before Sam headed down the hall to the library. I went up the stairs, arriving in Ellie’s room just in time to see her pulling on her pajamas.
“How you doin’, kid?” I asked, taking a seat on the bed.
“I’m pretty sleepy…” she admitted, her little voice trailing off in another yawn.
I chuckled. “It’s alright. You had a long day. But I tell you what – if you get to bed and tomorrow have a good day with Sam, you can spend some more time with your new friends. How’s that sound?”
“Good.” She climbed onto the bed and slipped under the covers. There was something on her mind, and I wondered if it had to do with the conversation we’d had earlier in the day.
“Daddy?”
“What’s up?”
“You said Mommy’s always gonna be watching over me, right?”
“That’s right, baby girl.”
“But does that mean I can’t ever have another mommy again?”
I was surprised she’d asked such a question. Maybe Sam was right, and my girl was far too smart for a five-year-old. “Now, what got you thinkin’ about that?”
“I don’t know. Would Mommy be mad if Sam was like a mom to me?”
Holy hell, I didn’t even know where to begin answering that question. Clearing my throat to buy time, I finally said, “How about you and Sam just stay friends for now. We can figure out all the rest of that stuff later.”
I was kicking the can down the road, I knew. But what else was I supposed to say? Thankfully, she could barely keep her eyes open.
“Good night, kid,” I said, kissing her on the forehead.
“Good night.”
I smiled down at her before turning off the lights and closing the door. No one said being a dad was easy. Now I was starting to understand why.
Chapter 8
SAMANTHA
I was curled up in the high-backed chair in the corner of the library, my cup of whiskey and coffee at my side, and some cheesy mystery novel in my lap. The room was nice and quiet, a far cry from the lounge where the rest of the tourists were hanging out, having cocktails and conversation.
Part of me felt I should’ve joined them, been a little social. But I was beat. Between the first day of teaching and the walk after, all I wanted was to relax.
And the library was incredible, just like the rest of the house. It was two stories, the second overlooking the first, one of those movable ladders along the bookshelves to help you get to the top. The walls were lined with bookshelves, colorful spines packing every inch. It reminded me of one of those old studies in some Victorian mansion. I half-expected a man with a top hat and elaborate mustache to enter.
From my seat, I could look out through the tall windows onto the property. Clouds had covered the evening sky, and a light rain began to fall. It was perfect. Nice and cozy and relaxing – just what I wanted to finish off my first full day of work at Rainbow Canyons.
I had a feeling I was going to like it there. Between the landscape and the friendly people, I was already enjoying myself. And the quiet space of the library didn’t hurt matters.
And then there was my boss. I was so torn, so conflicted. I wanted him like crazy but knew it wasn’t a good idea. Hell, it wasn’t just a bad idea, but a ridiculously stupid one. Between his situation and mine, there was simply no way anything between us could happen without serious consequences.
But still, despite knowing it was a bad idea, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Of course, it being such a taboo thing to think about made it even hotter. Why couldn’t my boss have been some grizzled, older guy with a big belly, a wife, and five kids? Why did he have to be a total cowboy stud, an ex-Marine, and a tattooed one at that?
And why did he have to be such a good guy? Not one of those doormat nice guys either. No, he was the strong type, the one who’d do the right thing no matter the cost. He cared about his family and his ranch and had a big heart on top of it all. So not like the man I’d spent the last year with.
I could barely focus on the book in my lap. I sipped my whiskey and coffee, my eyes on the splattering of soft raindrops on the window.
“Interesting book?”
I glanced up, spotting Chance standing in the entrance of the library, leaning against the door frame with his arm above his head. A sly grin played on his face. A grin that would get me into serious, serious trouble one of these days.
“How’d you sneak in like that?” I asked with a smile.
“No sneaking about it. I opened the door, and you were staring off into space.” He stepped into the library, his boots thumping on the big oriental rug that covered nearly the entire floor.
“Sorry,” I said. “I get like that sometimes – wrapped up in my own head.”
“Reminds me of El,” he commented, sitting in the chair next to mine. “She must be a thinker like you.”
I chuckled. “Don’t know if I’m a thinker, per se. More that I don’t know how to live in the moment sometimes.”
“You’ll learn how to do that here,” he assured me. “Time moves a little more slowly on the ranch – lets you focus on the right now, on what’s important.”
“I’ve noticed that. Different kind of pace than life in the city.”
He glanced down at the mug next to mine, the coffee and booze still steaming. “That mine?”
“Sure is, cowboy.”
Another sly, smile, a sliver of white teeth peeking through his full, red lips. “Much obliged.” His hand was big enough to wrap around the whole thing. Chance lifted the mug to his lips and took a long, slow sip, smacking his lips. “Now, that hits the spot like nothin’ else.”
“It sure does.”
“So what did you think about your first day of work?”
“I thought it went really well. Ellie’s a smart kid, and I had no problem getting her to do her work.”
He smiled, and my heart melted. “And how are you settling in here?”
I looked around and felt a warmth flow through me. “There really is something about this place. Kinda magical, really.”
Neither of us spoke for a bit, sipping our coffee and listening to the rain.
“Needs somethin’, though.” Chance got up and went over to the big, grand fireplace. Once there, he tossed a couple of logs into it and after some doing, had a fire going. I watched him as he worked, watched his expression of concentration, watched his big, strong hands effortlessly start the fire.
When it was going, he dusted his palms on his jeans and rose, winking at me. “How’s that for ambiance?”
Something about a man who knew how to use his hands could get a girl thinking about what else he might be able to do with them. I quickly pushed that out of my head and nodded. “It’s nice.”
Chance returned and sat in the chair next to mine. We were close – so close that his hand on his armrest was only a hair’s breadth away from my own.
“You’re right,” he said nodding. “This place is kinda magical. I live here, so it’s easy to get used to it. But every now and then, I get a moment or two, see a sight, hear a sound, that reminds me of just how lucky I am.”
We sipped our drinks. I wasn’t that far into mine, but the whiskey was already getting to my head. I felt a light, pleasant buzz. Then again, it could’ve been the comfort of the moment – the soft chair, the fire crackling, the light drizzle of rain on the window. Not to mention the company of the gorgeous cowboy next to me.
I shouldn’t have been thinking such thoughts. Chance was my boss, as I kept telling myself. That little detail made him most certainly off-limits. But I still wanted him, wanted to know what it’d feel like with those rough hands all over my curvy body. It was enough to create a wave of heat between my legs that traveled to the rest of my body. I rubbed my thighs together, hoping that’d take my mind off what I wanted.
“You are lucky,” I commented. “You’ve got the place, your family, an adorable little daughter.”
He nodded. “And on top of all that, I have a great teacher to look after her.”
I smiled, his words warming me just as surely as the whiskey and the fire. “Thanks,” I said, setting my drink down. “I’m happy to be here.”
“And it doesn’t hurt that she’s easy on the eyes.” He winked before turning his attention back to his drink.
Fuck, was he flirting with me? Maybe it was unprofessional, but I didn’t care. I watched as he took a long sip from his own drink, his eyes fixed in that steely expression I’d seen, the one that made him look like he had more on his mind than I could imagine.
He set down his drink and abruptly turned to me. “Somethin’ else I wanted to mention.” As he spoke, he reached over to point out something. “Is that—”
Right in the middle of his words, Chance’s hand collided with his mug of whiskey and coffee. The drink tipped over, and a sharp gasp escaped my lips as the liquid spilled over the armrest of the chair and onto my jeans.
“Aw, hell,” he said, seeing what he’d done. “You alright?” He got up as he spoke, hurrying to one of the closets.
“I’m fine,” I assured him. “It’s not that hot anymore.”
He opened the closet and took out a small towel. “Just stay right there,” he said as he approached. “I’ll handle it.”
Even though it wasn’t a big deal at all, there was a firmness to his voice that let me know without a doubt that he was in charge.
Chance squatted down in front of me, placing the towel on my leg and firmly pressing it against my jeans, soaking up the coffee. A bit had seeped into the denim, but it rapidly cooled.
“Sometimes I fe
el like I’m all thumbs, ya know?” he flicked those golden eyes up to me, a hint of a smile on his lips.
“It’s nothing, really.”
Well, the mess was nothing. Chance in front of me, cleaning up the coffee, his hands on my thigh – that was most definitely not nothing. He continued to clean up, putting his other hand on my other leg to keep himself steady.
“Might want to take these off,” he said. “Hang ‘em up in front of the fire.”
“Okay!” The word shot out of my mouth so quickly I surprised myself and immediately blushed.
Chance chuckled. “I was only messin’ around, darlin.’ But you should take care of these sooner rather than later.”
I closed my eyes, focusing on how damn good his hands felt on my body. It was wrong, but I didn’t care. And Chance was so focused on the work that he didn’t seem to realize his hands were moving further and further up my legs, only inches away from between my thighs.
“Alright,” he said. “Just about…” He stopped, glancing at his hands. His eyebrows raised as he seemed to realize what was happening, what he was doing. “Aw, shit,” he cursed, removing his hands. “Sorry, didn’t mean to get fresh with you, Sam.”
Chance rose and chuckled quietly, running his hand through his sandy-brown hair. Then he flashed me a smile. The situation was awkward as hell, but that smile and his easy, confident way diffused any tension that happened to be there.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Kind of liked having your hands on me.”
Oh, fuck. I couldn’t believe it. Had I really said that? But he was nonplussed. He put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side.
“Is that right?” he nearly purred.
“Yes.”
Chance flashed me another grin. “Then, how about this?”
He reached forward and put his hands on my hips, lifting me to my feet so effortlessly it was like I weighed nothing. When I was on my feet, his hands stayed on my hips. He gazed down at me, his golden eyes smoldering like he was thinking the same thing I was.
“If my hands felt good doin’ that, imagine what else I could get up to.”
I swallowed hard, knowing I was in the middle of doing something I shouldn’t – that we shouldn’t have been doing. But neither of us cared. The sexual tension that lurked underneath the surface bubbled to the fore with each passing moment.