by A. J. Norris
“I know you do,” Lincoln said next to my ear. I jerked in surprise. He slipped his hand around my waist and he held me close. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“It’s not fair.”
“I know.”
“I should be the one who died.”
“Please don’t say that.”
“I killed someone.”
“It was an accident. You aren’t to blame. I read the report.”
“It was my car. My leaking exhaust system. I’d been getting headaches every time I drove. I thought it was motion sickness. I should have had the car checked out. I should have known.”
“Shh.” He kissed my temple. “You’ll go crazy thinking of the should-haves. The bottom line is that it was an accident. You didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Then why do I feel so guilty?”
“Because you’re human. I feel guilty for Jennifer’s death, and I wasn’t even in the car with her. Explain that one.”
“You loved her, and in your mind, you failed to protect her. It’s basically like, the man’s only job—to protect his woman.”
His breath hitched. “You just explained what no one else could, not even the grief counselor the department made me go see. Thank you. I wish there was something I could say to ease your—”
“There’s nothing that could erase what I did.”
“Don’t you think you’ve punished yourself enough?”
“Not even close. That’s why I have to do this. I’ve got to make things right somehow. I can’t walk away.”
“Do it anyway. If not for you, then for me. Don’t put me through this. I care about you. I—”
Putting a finger to his lips, I silenced him. “I care about you, too.” I squeezed my eyes shut. Yet my tears flowed despite the effort to dam them.
“I can’t watch you get hurt. I can’t watch you die when there’s something I can do to stop it. Please, Melanie.”
I loved when he said my real name. Although, his voice made me cry even harder. The salty droplets tightened the skin along their tracks as they dried in places. He turned me around and grasped my chin and ran his thumb over my lips. I couldn’t look at him.
“Look at me,” he pleaded. When I did, I wished I hadn’t. Although no tears fell, his watery-eyed expression devastated me. Sorrow, regret, guilt, fear, definitely fear...and love, were behind those eyes. All wrapped up in vulnerability. He laid all his emotions out there with a single look. I wasn’t worthy of any of what he gave. But I crumbled. Later, I would realize this was the moment I fell in love with him. He cared for me in ways no one ever had.
“All right,” I whispered, not knowing exactly what those words meant to me. Had I decided to trust him and walk away like he asked, or was I too tired to argue with him?
His expression softened and he relaxed. “Good. Thank you.” Dropping his head down, he kissed me then stepped back. I grabbed his hand, drawing him close.
“Be with me.” We may not have another chance.
He nodded.
I reached up on my toes and pressed my lips to his. In turn, he swooped me off my feet, carrying me to the bed. He laid me down gently, not breaking contact with our mouths. His body covered me like the weighted security blanket I needed. We pulled at the hems of our shirts and severed the seal of our lips only long enough to get rid of all the cotton and denim barriers.
Once we were fully bared and flush against each other, he propped himself on his elbows and gazed down at me. I licked my lips in anticipation.
“I’m Jayce, by the way.”
“Nice to finally meet you. Now make love to me, stranger.”
He chuckled. “We’re not strangers.”
“Then what are we?”
“More than strangers.”
I giggled. “Okay, we are...each other’s booty call?” He shook his head. “I know, friends with benefits? Hook-up buddies?”
“Shh, just stop,” he said against my mouth.
“I’m sorry. I make jokes when things get—”
“Intense?”
“Yeah.”
While he kissed me, he reached for the nightstand, fumbling around in the drawer until he snagged a strip of foil-wrapped condoms.
“That’s a lot of condoms.”
“I’m going to make love to you over and over until you understand how much you mean to me.”
“And how much is that?”
“I’m falling for you.”
I caressed his back. “I almost believe that.”
“Oh, you’re gonna believe it, Melanie. I’ll make sure of it.”
Thankfully, he was quick with the condom. So ready for him, once he’d nestled between my thighs, I wrapped my legs around his ass, pushing Jayce inside me. “Oh...god,” he groaned. “You feel so good.”
It was mutual. I wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but sex with him felt sooo gooooood. He moved expertly, taking his time. Slowing to kiss me every so often. His hand caressing the nape of my neck. He stopped and stared at me. I tilted my hips. “Don’t stop. I love—” God, what did I love? What was that saying, you can’t truly love someone until you love yourself first? And I was full of self-loathing. As he made love to me, all I thought about was, this could be the last time. I wanted to hold onto this moment forever. “I love being with you.”
“I love being with you, too.”
Excuse—wait... Was that what I told him? I thought I’d said something less complicated, like I loved how he felt. My heart squeezed. The bed started rocking, shifting back and forth, getting tossed around by big choppy waves. Salty water, or was that my tears, splashing over the sides. I was sinking and choking on the ocean. Only, I wasn’t drowning.
I screamed as an orgasm pulled me out of the leaking boat and onto dry land. I could breathe again. Jayce hovered above me, thrusting deeply, his face contorted in raw undiluted rapture—the veins in his neck popping out. He came right as another surge of heat hit me. This time we were in the moment together.
Unfortunately, sometimes good things had expiration dates.
CHAPTER 26
Jayce
Last night, I came much too quickly the first time. Thankfully, Melanie allowed me to make it up to her twice more.
The following morning, I rolled over and reached for her under the covers. Frustrated that she wasn’t beside me, I sat up, growling.
She giggled softly, leaning a hip against the kitchen counter and holding a mug. “Wow. You’re grumpy this morning.”
“Is that coffee?”
“Yep, made a pot. Let me pour you a cup.”
“How about a gallon. But hold that thought for a minute.” My joints cracked while I lumbered out of bed and into the bathroom. After a quick shower and shave, I came out and put on some pants. As I sat at the table, she placed a mug in front of me. “Thanks.” Steam rose from the coffee. I blew on the hot wake-up juice, creating ripples across the surface. I took a sip. “Ah. This is perfect.”
“I used to be a barista. Well, I guess you probably already knew that.”
“I did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about your life.”
“Okay. What do you want to know?” She sipped from her mug.
“How come you were living in Temecula? Apart from working at Starbucks.”
“I was studying business administration at CSU San Marcos there.”
“Did you finish your—?”
“I dropped out to pursue other interests.” Her cheeks reddened.
“Are you planning to go back and finish?”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t interest me anymore. I dunno. Maybe it never did.”
“What do you want to do, then?” I sat back, crossing my ankles, and drank my coffee.
“I think I’d like to work with animals. We always had a dog growing up. I don’t know doing what, exactly. If you weren’t a cop, what would you be doing?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a cop.” I laughed. “When I was a kid, I played cops a
nd robbers with my friends and was always the cop.”
“Sounds awesome. Wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
“You have a lot more confidence in me than I deserve.” Melanie peered into her mug like she wanted to dive in and hide. Her eyes welled with tears and she pivoted toward the counter. Pouring the rest of her mug into the sink, she ran the water, then the garbage disposal. It saddened me that she felt she didn’t deserve anything. I said her name, except she didn’t hear me.
Going over to her, I shut the disposal off. I suspected she was crying. She wasn’t, though. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“You didn’t.”
“And for last night, too, and about Josh.”
She shook her head. “You were right about my brother. But there’s one thing I don’t understand: Why did you go on a drinking bender? I thought you said you didn’t self-medicate.”
I swallowed the rest of my coffee, giving myself time to reflect. Telling the truth now would avoid her finding out later that my Jennifer had been the woman she’d inadvertently killed. And after what we shared, the tears we shed, lying seemed like taking a step backward. If we had a chance of being together after the mess with the Syndicate ended, I had to be honest. And not just to ease any guilt on my part.
I’d wanted to hate Melanie, and I did for a minute. Okay, for a day or two. But then I saw her outside the building, waiting for me. I was pissed at myself for thinking I could hate her, and for the things I said about her in my head. Worse yet, I was drunk as fuck.
Yet, my heart still leapt when I saw her.
I had to tell her the truth while I had the chance or risk her finding out I kept this secret.
“Are you going to answer me?” she asked.
I took a deep breath. “Come sit with me.” With an expression appearing nothing short of panicked, she sat across from me at the table. Stretching my arms across the way, I held my hands out. She placed hers on top of mind and I grasped them.
“God, what is it?”
“I want you to know that, when I first found out, I was shocked and confused. After processing the news, I’m at peace with everything. I’ve let it go.”
“Jesus, will you just tell me? I’m freaking out over here.”
“My fiancée was killed in a car accident.”
“Right.”
“The driver of the other vehicle passed out behind the wheel.”
“Wow. That’s what happened to me...with my accident.”
I waited for my words to breach the walls of her denial. For her to piece together their meaning. When she stayed silent, looking everywhere but at me, I squeezed her hands. “Melanie, I want you to know that I don’t blame you for her death. It was an accident. My fiancée’s last name was Regan.”
Raising her palm, she said, “No, I can’t.” She got up from the table, grabbed her purse and walked to the door.
“Where are you going? Listen to me, I’ve let it go. So should you.”
Melanie grabbed the doorknob and twisted. When the door wouldn’t budge, she banged on the panel as if beating it would unlock the deadbolt. Grabbing my keys from the table, I went to her. “Melanie.”
“I can’t. I just can’t. Okay? They gave me oxygen on the way to the hospital that brought me back around. Her ambulance arrived right ahead of mine. They wheeled me into the ER behind her. I saw her bloody clothes. She had lost a shoe. I kept shouting for someone to find her shoe. I didn’t know I’d killed her and she wouldn’t care about the damn shoe. Her nude pump to go with her bloodied coral pencil skirt.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. “That was you? I-I pulled up when they were taking her inside. Bandit let me out at the entrance. I ran right past you. I was told you were at the same hospital, but I didn’t want to know anything. I never wanted to know anything about you.”
“Still at peace with it now?”
“Yes. I am.” There was no thinking about my answer.
“Are you sure about that? Because I’d hate me if I were you.”
“I don’t, so—”
“Why not? I killed your fiancée. And if you say it was an accident one more time, I swear...”
“Do you want me to hate you? Would that make it easier for you to hate yourself?”
“Where’s the key?”
I wiped under my eyes with my thumb then unlocked the door. “I don’t think you should drive when you’re this upset.”
“Why? Afraid I’m going to pass out and kill someone else?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re shaking and I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“I need to be alone. Please, Jayce.” She stomped her foot.
“I get that, and I won’t stop you from leaving. But please promise me you’ll hold up your end of the deal we made last night. You walk away and let me do my job. There’s more to this than I told you. This job isn’t just about the cash in the vault. The jewelry, the gems, that’s what Flynn’s really after. He doesn’t give a shit about the cash.”
Her eyebrows knitted together. Clearly, her brain was switching over to what I’d said. She appeared to think about it, adding up what she knew with what she had witnessed.
I had received a call last night from Special Agent Harris, the lead on the case. I returned the voicemail after Melanie had fallen asleep. I’d never spoken directly to the woman before and she filled me in with more details. They had started the investigation because Josh, who had become an informant to save his own ass (and a lot of good it did), had reported the Syndicate’s international jewelry/gem “business” to the Bureau. And yes, that was a federal crime, especially when the proceeds from the sales funded terrorists.
She also told me Max was a suspect in Josh’s murder. Unfortunately, Melanie, stumbled onto something much larger than she could have imagined: an ongoing federal investigation. The agent apologized for her staff’s failure to puzzle together the connection between Melanie and me. She never would have signed off on the recommendation from Captain Miller if she had known. However, she was pleased with my job performance and thorough reports. This was even after I confessed about my involvement with Melanie. All she said was, “See if you can talk some sense into that girl.”
“So, what are you really trying to say?” Melanie asked.
“You’ll be arrested along with the others if you show up at J-Zen. I don’t want to see you wind up in prison because you’re too stubborn for your own good. I can’t protect you if you’re there.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything foolish.”
Why didn’t I believe her?
“You know what, this place is safe. Why don’t you stay here until this is over?”
She took a deep breath. Exhaling, she said, “Fine. You win.”
“Thank you. You made the right choice.”
“Does anyone in the Syndicate know where you live?”
“No one apart from my partner.”
“Do you mind if I go home and get some of my things? I need some clothes and stuff.”
“Take your gun and come right back, all right?”
She nodded and I opened the door for her. Melanie stepped off the porch but then came back to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. We held onto each other tightly. And I couldn’t help but wonder if this would be the last time.
“Jayce Waters,” I said.
She frowned. “What?”
“I just wanted you to know my full name.”
Slipping a hand to the back of my neck, she cranked my head down and kissed me. “Bye, Jayce Waters,” she whispered and walked away.
CHAPTER 27
Melanie
Tears threatened to spill as I walked away from Jayce Waters. I had every intention of returning to his apartment. Yet it seemed all-important to say goodbye like I would never see him again. He asked me to trust him and I really wanted to.
When I got home, I showered and changed clothes. I even cramm
ed an overnight bag with several outfits and my toothbrush. Halfway back to his apartment, my cell phone rang. It was Flynn’s number. Anxiety panged my heart. Could this be The call? I answered tentatively. “Hello?”
“I need to see you?” he said softly.
“Um, right now?” Oh, god. What the hell for?
“Yes. I need to talk to you.”
“What’s this about? Can’t you tell me over the phone?”
“No. Meet me at the Pier in thirty minutes.”
“I can’t right—”
“Thirty minutes.”
I did not want to meet him anywhere. He’d already creeped me out this week. Now he wanted another private meeting? Had he figured out who I was? But then, why meet in a public place? If he wanted to put a bullet in my head, he’d have chosen a private location, right?
At the first chance I had, I made a U-turn and headed west toward the beach.
I parked my car in the lot behind a strip plaza across the street from the Pier. It only took a few minutes to reach the boardwalk and cross the compass-star and the lifeguard memorial-surfer-dude statue. Flynn wasn’t hanging around the entrance. However, there were a few people farther down; maybe one of them was him.
When I reached two-thirds of the way to the end of the Pier, a man who was built like the Cowboy, but wearing a baseball cap pulled down low, sat on a weather-beaten wooden bench. Approaching with caution, I decided to stand at the railing next to the bench.
“I’m here,” I said, gazing out at the Pacific.
“I don’t bite. You can sit,” he said.
“I’m fine. What did you need to talk to me about?”
“You’re in danger.”
“What are you talking about? Why?”
“Listen, I’m takin’ a huge risk talkin’ to you.”
“Aren’t you the boss? Why is this a risk? What the hell is going on?”
When he didn’t answer, I started walking away.
“Nora,” Flynn said. He caught up to me and grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to face him.