Hopefully, Robin and Brock would understand the decision to send her there. Given the circumstances, there really was no other choice. If Ayla hadn’t started having fits—if she continued acting the way she had when Alex first picked her up—she could have kept staying with them. As it was, it was impossible. They were doing the right thing for the traumatized girl.
At least, that was what he had to tell himself.
Ultimatum
Nick rubbed his temples, leaned his head against the couch, and closed his eyes. His headache wouldn’t ease no matter how many ibuprofen he’d taken. Not that it mattered, because he wouldn’t feel better until Parker came back home to stay and, unfortunately, that prospect was growing dimmer by the moment.
Genevieve sat next to him. “Take this.”
He opened his eyes. She held two wine glasses. He almost objected, wanting to be at the top of his game if Parker showed up, but he was already at the bottom of the game. One glass of wine wouldn’t hurt. Might actually help him relax. He took one of the glasses. “Thanks.”
She smiled at him. “Anything else I can get you, Nicky?”
He shook his head and sipped the rosé wine. It had to have been something she’d brought. He wouldn’t have purchased it for himself.
“I just spoke with my mom, and she said the girls are all having a blast at the laser tag place.”
“Thank her for taking Ava and Hanna for me.”
Genevieve kissed his cheek. “Already did, and they’re happy to help. They also said Parker can stay in the guest room if he needs a few days to think about everything. Dad said he’d be happy to take him fishing, too. He said sometimes fishing can get a guy’s thoughts in order.”
Nick nodded. “That’s nice of him. Though Parker would have to come home in order for me to tell him of your dad’s offer.”
She squeezed his knee. “I could put out an APB to every precinct in about a fifty-mile radius.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Nick finished off the drink and set the empty glass down. “I just don’t know what to do with him. Do I give him space and let him keep running away? Or do I lay down the law and risk losing him for good? How do I parent a kid who I no longer have any control over?”
“Didn’t you talk to your therapist?”
“I canceled the emergency appointment after Parker fled. What’s the point? It was for him.”
“Wasn’t it for the both of you?” She gave him a knowing look. “This is a tricky situation, and I’m sure he’s seen similar cases and can offer you insight.”
“Maybe.” Nick rubbed his temples again. “Probably.”
“Do you want to talk now? To me?”
He drew in a deep breath. “I don’t want to burden you.”
“It isn’t a burden. I want to be here for you.”
Click, click.
The front door.
Nick exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Genevieve. Keys were playing with the lock. Could it be Parker? He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help it. His pulse pounded as the clicking continued, then finally the knob turned. His mouth dried and he struggled to breathe normally.
The door pushed opened slowly. Parker appeared, his hair disheveled and his eyes bloodshot.
Nick froze in place. His mind raced—did he welcome him in with open arms or wait for him to speak? Or even chew him out for what he’d put the family through?
Parker closed the door behind him and licked his lips. Nobody spoke. He looked back and forth between Nick and Genevieve. Didn’t say a word.
Nick cleared his throat. “Are you here to collect your things?”
Genevieve squeezed his knee.
“Sorry. That’s my hurt talking.”
Parker’s face fell. “Dad…”
At least he was back to being Dad. Nick took a deep breath, then another. It was so hard to know what to say. One wrong word, and Parker could take off for even longer. “What brings you here?”
Parker sauntered over and fell into the recliner. “I’m so tired.”
“We all are.” Nick’s eyelid started twitching from the stress. “Where have you been?”
“Thinking.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Parker drew out a long sigh. “I wandered around for a while, then made my way here.”
Nick squeezed the arm of the couch and tried to ignore his eyelid. Focused on his son. “We need to have a serious talk.”
“’Kay.” Parker rubbed his eyes.
“I hope you know how much I want you here, but this running off has got to stop. It isn’t good for anyone—not you, not me, not your sisters, none of our family.”
Parker frowned.
“I want you to stay, but if you don’t want to, we need to figure out where you are going to stay. Clearly, you can’t stay with your mom or Dave. That leaves your grandparents or—” Nick sucked in a deep breath, hating to even suggest it. “—or the foster care system. If you want me to relinquish my parental rights, then we’ll make that happen.”
Parker’s face paled.
Genevieve’s eyes widened. “Nick.”
He kept his focus on Parker. “Is that what you want?”
Parker’s mouth moved, but no sound came out.
“Those are the three choices I see. If you see another, then speak up. Either you can stay here and we work through this as a family, or you stay with your grandparents—”
“Or my parents,” Genevieve added.
Nick nodded. “They’re also an option. But if you want nothing to do with me, then we can break those ties and find a family you’re willing to stay with.”
Genevieve looked at him like she was trying to say something through her eyes. His head hurt too much to try and figure out what.
Tears shone in Parker’s eyes.
“What’s it going to be?” Nick’s heart felt like it would shatter. He struggled to keep his voice steady. “I’d like for you to stay, but if you’re going to just leave again, that isn’t fair to anyone. Not to me, not to Hanna or Ava. You need to make a decision. If you can’t do that just yet, then we need to figure out if you’d prefer to stay with my parents or Genevieve’s.”
“Dad, I’m sorry.”
Nick closed his eyes and focused on his breathing for a moment before opening his eyes. “And I’m sorry we have to deal with any of this. Unfortunately, we do. This is the legacy your mother has left us, and now we’re the ones left to deal with the consequences. I don’t know what to tell you that I haven’t already. I feel I keep saying the same things over and over. You’re my son no matter what anyone says. However if that isn’t what you want, I respect that and will give in to you.”
Tears ran down his face. “I hate this, and I hate her.”
“So do I. Believe me.”
Parker wiped his tears like they were the enemy. “It’s all her fault.”
Nick nodded. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you still have decisions to make.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “And whatever you choose, I promise to support you.”
Parker buried his face into his palms and shook.
Genevieve lifted an eyebrow at Nick and nodded toward Parker.
Nick rose and put an arm around his son. Would it be the last time? He choked back a sob of his own. He needed to stay strong, to let Parker make his choice without the influence of Nick’s emotions.
Parker looked up at Nick, the skin around his eyes splotchy and tears still falling. “I hate this!”
“We all do.” Nick rubbed his back. “But we can get through it together, if that’s what you want.”
Genevieve rose. “Nobody needs to make a decision right now. It’s late, and we’re all exhausted. Why don’t we have some ice cream then sleep on it?”
Parker swallowed. “I know what I want.”
Decision
Nick’s breath hitched. His heart leaped into his throat. He struggled to speak. Dared not get his hopes up. “Wh
at do you want?”
Parker played with the zipper on his hoodie. “I want to stay here with you.” He swallowed. “Dad.”
It took Nick a moment to realize he’d heard right. “You want to stay?”
“Yeah.”
His heart thundered so loudly, both of them had to be able to hear it. “You’re sure?”
Parker nodded.
“You realize this means no more running off? Like I said, if you do, you need to find somewhere else to stay. We’re family. All of us, and we have to treat each other like it.”
“I know. I will.”
Nick held him tightly.
Parker wrapped his arms around and squeezed. “Thanks for putting up with me, Dad.”
“That’s what parents do.” It felt kind of hypocritical saying that after telling Parker he’d have to leave if he ran off again—but giving consequences was also something parents had to do.
Genevieve came over and wrapped her arms around both of them, then kissed Nick’s cheek and Parker’s forehead. “Who’s up for some ice cream?”
She didn’t wait for a response. Just headed into the kitchen.
Nick never wanted to let go of his son. “You’re really going to stay?”
Parker nodded. “It was never really a question. I just… I guess I needed some space to make sense of everything.”
“I get it, but we can find more productive ways for you to have space.”
He stepped back and looked at Nick. “Dad, I know. And I’m not going to risk it. If I need space, I’ll go to my room or the park or to Jason’s house.”
“And you’ll let me know first. Right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m on your side, you know that?” Nick pulled him into another embrace.
Parker nodded.
“From the moment you were born, I knew I’d kill and maim for you if it came down to it.”
“Dad.” Parker added a syllable to the word.
“It’s the truth. Something you’ll understand when you have kids—in about thirty years.”
Parker snickered and stepped back. “That long? Am I so horrible?”
“Of course not. I’m just saying there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, or your sisters. They’re having a hard time with all of this too, you know.”
Parker frowned. “I don't want to upset them, either. I mean, yeah I give them a hard time sometimes, but it’s because they’re my sisters.”
“Ice cream is ready!” Genevieve called out from the kitchen.
Parker started to head in there, but Nick stopped him. “One other thing.”
“What?” Parker groaned.
“We’re going to keep talking about this until we’re both okay with it.”
“Okay.” He started toward the kitchen again.
“That’s only half of it.”
“What’s the rest?” Parker turned back to him.
“We’re going to continue counseling. Together. You can have some separate sessions if you want, but that’s a non-negotiable. No skipping.”
“Got it. Can we have that ice cream now?”
Nick smiled. “Nothing would make me happier. But I do need to make sure we’re on the same page. This is hard, but not impossible, and we can make the best of it. It’ll take us sticking together and getting the necessary help.”
“I know.”
Nick patted his back. “Let’s have some dessert.”
Genevieve handed each of them a bowl filled with ice cream, sprinkles, and chocolate sauce. In other words, at least a week’s worth of sugar. They sat on the couch and discussed theories of an upcoming movie.
Nick finally relaxed—something he’d nearly forgotten how to do. He was grateful for Genevieve bringing some normalcy back into their lives. Having sweets and discussing the movie weren’t things Nick would’ve thought about, but it was exactly what they needed.
Parker and Genevieve poked holes in each other’s theories and laughed together when Nick gave his.
“Are you two turning against me now?” Nick teased.
Parker wiped tears from his eyes. “No, but that’s seriously the worst theory I’ve heard. There’s no way it’s going to end like that!”
“I think we need to rewatch the other movies, then we can decide who has the most ludicrous idea.”
Parker’s eyes widened. “Now?”
Nick shook his head. “It’s too late. Let’s plan on a marathon this weekend with your sisters and Tinsley.” He looked at them in turn. “What do you say? Are you two up for that?”
Parker pleaded with his eyes. “Say yes!”
“I can’t think of a better way to spend the weekend.”
Parker beamed.
Nick picked up the empty bowls. “But for now, we should get you into bed.”
He frowned. “What about Hanna and Ava? Aren’t you going to get them?”
“They’re at Genevieve’s parents’ house. I’m going to pick them up in the morning.”
“Or I can drop them off here,” Genevieve offered. “I should get back home since Tinsley won’t usually fall asleep unless I’m there, but I’ll help clean up first.”
“Nonsense,” Nick said. “We’ll take care of the dishes, right Parker?”
Parker frowned but then quickly nodded. “Yeah, of course. That’s what family does—helps each other out.”
Genevieve hugged him. “You guys are going to be just fine.” She turned to Nick then gave him a quick kiss. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks. I’m sure we won’t.” He squeezed her hand. “And tell all three girls goodnight for us.”
“Will do. They—” Genevieve dug into her purse. “Maybe that’s them.” She pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. “Nope. Alex.”
“Alex?” Nick asked. “What does he want?”
“He mentioned something about wanting my advice in dealing with Ayla, since I’ve done so well with Tinsley.”
Nick drew in a deep breath. With everything he’d been dealing with, he’d all but forgotten his best friend was dealing with a mess of his own. “Tell Alex to give me a call when he can.”
Genevieve nodded, then answered the call.
Decline
Ayla’s knees ached. She squeezed her legs as tightly as she could and pressed them against her chest. The bed squeaked underneath her as she shifted her weight. She stared at the camera in the corner of the room. They were watching her. Those nurses. The ones who had brought her into the room. They were waiting for her to do something. What, she didn’t know. To lose control again, like she’d been doing every time new memories surfaced? Were they waiting for her to fall asleep? Or for something else altogether?
It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. She’d lost everything—not only the life she couldn’t remember but also the only family she did know. Uncle Alex. Ayla had pushed him away. She hadn’t wanted to, but when she looked at her loving uncle, all she saw was him. The monster who had done so many terrible things. She saw him in the face of every man. The same thing had happened with Uncle Luke. It would probably happen if a guy doctor walked through the door.
She shook, her whole body convulsed. Her teeth chattered.
Were all men bad? Or just him? From what she could recall, he was pure evil. If there was an actual devil, then that man was him in the flesh. No question about that. Not after all the horrible things he’d done. And the worst part was, she could hardly remember most of it. A lot of her new flooding memories were like flashes. An image here, another there, all flying by too fast to make much sense of unless they ever slowed.
Her body ached at the memories. Not just because of her actual injuries, but in other places, too. It all made her mind spin. Made her skin feel aflame. Terror raced through her, ripping her insides apart. She felt on fire, but there was no relief until she screamed. That was the only thing that released the pain, that made her feel better.
It was growing stronger in this nondescript little room. Everything wa
s so white. So clean. Like a hospital, but with less equipment.
Her mouth dried. Pulse pounded. Tears threatened.
If only Uncle Alex were here to wrap his strong arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. But she’d scared him away.
Maybe she was a monster, too. It made sense. She was the daughter of a monster. A mean, cruel, devil of a man. She was half him and half her mom.
Half demon and half angel.
What did that make her? Could she pick a side? Or had it already been picked for her?
Ayla shook more. Tears blurred her vision. She didn’t want to be bad. Could she be good, like her mom? Was it even a possibility?
Nobody wanted her. She’d been so mean, she’d even pushed away Aunt Macy, who deals with bad kids all the time.
Maybe she was more like her dad than her mom.
Hot, angry tears spilled. Ran down her face then dropped onto her hands with a splash. If only she’d been able to fight him. To stop him. Put him in his place. But she’d run. Left her mom alone with the madman after he’d made his threat.
Ayla had sealed her mom’s fate with her selfishness. She was as bad as him. Maybe worse.
She pressed her forehead against her knees and sobbed. Couldn’t she be good? Did she have the choice? One thing was sure—there was no going back. She’d made the worst choice anyone ever could. And now her mom had to pay for it.
Because of her.
Tears fell faster, seeming to come in an endless supply. Her body trembled all the harder. Snot pooled on the gown. Her throat dried. Felt like it would close up.
Because Ayla had left, her mom would die. Maybe was already dead.
It was all her fault.
All on her.
If she’d been brave and stayed, her mom would be okay. But now she wasn’t.
Her dad’s face appeared in her mind, glaring at her with his angry eyes, his brows furrowed, his face red with fury. A fist raised at her. Spittle flying from his mouth as he screamed profanities. Shouted about what a rotten girl she was. He shoved her. Pressed her against a wall. Squeezed her arms.
Ayla recognized the room. It was her room. The one she hadn’t remembered when Uncle Alex helped her pack. The same bed, the same posters, the same everything.
Take On Me Page 14