Darkness enveloped the subway as it descended underground. The bleached light overhead flickered, the train rocking against the overworked tracks. The only sounds coming from the occasionally squealing of the wheels and brakes.
I tried to think about anything other than the old man’s crotch pressed against my side but found it impossible because I was drowning in a fog of his shitty aftershave that had me on the verge of gagging.
I ended up being an hour late by the time I made it into work. Quinn’s shrill voice was like a banshee raiding our office. Poppy was nowhere to be found. I pulled my chair up to my desk and kept my head low. Pressed play on my notes from the night before and began transcribing them into a Word document.
“I don’t care if the president called and asked me personally to work with that man. It’s not going to happen,” Quinn snapped as she stormed the hallway.
I supposed it was another one of those days.
“Our image is what’s important here, Quinn. Not your reservations toward Harrison,” a familiar voice said. “This is out of your hands.”
“Like hell it is.” A pause. “Cherry!”
I jumped up. “Yes?”
“We need you in the boardroom.” Without another word, she headed that way.
I followed suit, behind an older woman I’d never met before. Though she had a slight limp, bracing her steps with a cane, there was nothing weak about her demeanor. She was dressed in black pin-striped pants and a white satin blouse. Her silver tendrils were wrapped tight in an updo.
“Quinny. Would you listen to me?” the woman continued in a low whisper. “This isn’t—”
Quinn stopped and spun, which halted me. “No. Okay? That’s my answer.”
Once she was turned around, Poppy appeared beside me. “You were late.”
“Keep that to yourself.”
“Rough night?”
“More like rough morning. Where were you?”
Poppy smirked.
“Oh Lord. Do I even want to know?”
“Let’s just say, I was giving the postman a reason to smile.”
“Poppy!” I hissed under my breath.
“What? A girl has needs, and he’s … yummy.” She peered past me to the office mailman who watched her from across the room. With a wave in his direction, she leaned toward me and whispered, “What’s his name again?”
“Jim.”
“Oh, yeah. Jim.” She chewed on the side of her lip. “You don’t think he looks like the clingy type, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, what’s Quinn upset about?”
Poppy paused, adjusting her heel. “That woman she’s talking to is Lydia. She was Quinn’s first investor and mentor. She wants Quinn to think about merging with Stud.”
My eyes widened.
“I know. When pigs fly, right?” She pulled me to the side. “So, how did it go with lover boy?”
I gave a small shrug, mood souring. I didn’t want to talk about Grayson. Not until I figured out how to deal with what I felt about it all. “We ate. We danced. He came up and watched a movie.”
“Like Netflix and chill? Sounds like my kind of romance.”
I groaned. “You’d think, but … no. I think … I think we’re just friends right now.”
“Friends?”
I didn’t miss the slight note of revulsion at the word or the way my heart slumped with a heavy sigh.
“Yeah.”
She grabbed my shoulders just outside the boardroom, hidden behind a faux shrub. “Prim, you’re already down a week and a half.”
A sigh dived off the edge of my lips. “I know. It’s only glaring at me every day on the calendar.”
“So then, you understand friend-zoning the hottest player in town isn’t exactly what the assignment is about? You can’t fudge this up, Prim. I vouched for you. For us.”
Of course I knew that. It was the sole reason I’d been kicking myself all morning. The reason I’d been trying to figure out a solution. The last thing I needed was to be reminded of it by the one person I felt I could count on. The one person I didn’t want to let down.
I removed her hands. “I’ve got it under control, okay? Just … leave it be.”
She jerked back, arms crossing as a frown pulled at her lips. “Fine. Okay.”
“Fine,” I repeated and then moved around her.
Brinley and a few others sat around the large table that took up the whole of the boardroom. I took a seat beside Poppy, trying to tuck my nerves back into their beds. Already regretting the tone I’d taken with her.
A platter crammed with several types of muffins were spread out on the middle of the table. My favorite—blueberry—was closest to me, but for once, my appetite was nowhere to be found.
“Good morning, ladies,” Quinn said from the head of the table. “As you can see, I’ve provided brain fuel. Feel free to dig in.”
“She had food brought in?” Poppy leaned toward me and whispered, “She’s showing signs of humanity. Things must be bad.”
I gave her a smile, grateful she wasn’t the type to hold grudges.
“I’ve called you in to go over our annual gala that’s approaching,” Quinn continued. “All the best bloggers and consumers will be in attendance. I want everyone in tip-top shape. On their absolute best behavior. Most importantly, if there’s a scoop, be the first to grab it.”
“Why? Because Harrison’s attending this year?” Poppy said with a slick smile.
I wished I had an ounce of her nerve.
Quinn glared at her.
The next hour passed painfully slow. Spreadsheet and graphs wove a sleeping spell throughout the room. I grew restless, listening to the mindless chatter. Found my thoughts wandering back to what had gone wrong the night before.
It wasn’t until Lydia stood, leaning on her silver cane, that my attention snapped back in focus. She didn’t have to say a word to gain the attention of everyone in the room. It was as if she’d sucked the air out just by blinking.
“Before we go, there’s a serious matter we need to discuss.”
My gaze darted to Quinn, who leaned on her elbow, rubbing her temple and forehead.
“I know rumors have been aflame as of late, and I’d like to address them with facts,” Lydia said. “There is an ongoing discussion about merging Virago with Stud to corner the market taking place. After all, Virago is the child born from the makings of Stud.”
“Like Eve plucked from the rib of Adam,” Quinn said brashly.
I blanched, a cold sweat forming beneath my skin. The quiet that filled the room was deafening. Quinn glanced up at Lydia. For the first time since I’d started, I saw exactly what the blog meant to her. The bags under her eyes. The downward slope to her lips. The desperation glossing her pupils. This was more than a merger. This was a blow to her pride.
“To clarify, this is only in the discussion phase. There are many things to consider. Kinks to work out. Which is why it’s important that when we attend the conference, not only should we all be on our best behavior, but we should also offer kind words to the employees of Stud.” Her gaze settled on Quinn before moving around the room. “Right?”
A silent agreement was made between everyone as a slow-burning panic sizzled at the pit of my stomach.
“Good. Since you all understand, that will be all,” Quinn said as she stood.
“Do you really think they’ll merge?” I asked Poppy as we wandered toward our desks.
Her shoulders lifted. “Anything is possible these days.”
This day couldn’t get any worse. It just couldn’t.
When I sat at my desk, I found my thoughts detouring in Grayson’s direction. What would it mean if the company I worked for merged with his? I still didn’t know how this assignment would end. How we would end. Us. Add in the stress of working with him after he realized I had been doing a piece on him …
My fingers moved in soothing circles against my temples that pounded like large bass drums. I closed
my eyes, letting all my worries dissolve.
My father’s words danced along the base of my skull. “What will be, will be.”
He’d always told me whenever I was stressed about a test or a project, “You have the power to give your all. To try your hardest. And after that, what will be, will be.”
I stared at the document with my notes opened on my screen and frowned.
***
Later, as I fed worms to Newt, my phone buzzed on the counter.
“Be right back, buddy.”
My heart skidded to a halt the moment I realized it was a message from Grayson through Facebook.
Hey, beautiful. I’m in your area. Wanna meet up?
My heart fluttered to life as I ran to the couch, jumped over the back, and landed with a soft thud onto the cushions. Opening the app with record speed, I accepted his friend request and then switched over to Messenger. I reread the words, studying them. The pads of my fingers hesitated over the keys, only to zoom across the screen.
Hey you. What brings you this way at this time of night?
Dots flickered across the screen as I chewed on my thumbnail.
You.
One word that had butterflies swarming up my throat.
Where are you?
Setting my phone down, I fed the last of the worms to Newt and handled him for a minute. Petting the back of his head I said, “Pretty soon, you’re going to need a bigger tank, mister.”
His tongue flicked out in response.
After I placed him down and rubbed hand sanitizer on my hands, I picked up my phone, ignoring the nerves fraying one after the other.
Downstairs, he’d written.
I rushed to the window and opened it. Stuck my head out, finding Grayson looking up, leaning against the light pole.
The moment our eyes locked, he smiled.
“I’ll be down in a sec,” I shouted and then closed the window.
Rushing to my closet, I scoured for something to wear. I was in my pajama shorts decorated with tacos and an oversize shirt I’d stolen from my dad. My hair was in a messy bun leaning sideways off the top of my head. As I stopped in front of the mirror, my heart did a backflip when I really saw myself.
I looked wild with happiness. It reached all the way up to my eyes. Put a smile full of rainbows across my lips.
Who was this person staring back at me? I didn’t know her. The length she was willing to go. The denial so brazenly feasted on.
Change was inevitable. But sometimes, we didn’t see the change before it happened. Like a car accident, realization appeared out of nowhere, and the person we’d once been collided with the person we’d become.
The Prim who had left the sunflowers to chase her dreams was no longer the Prim staring back at me. And that singular truth scared me more than anything.
A sudden rush of fear flooded my veins as I reached inside me, trying to keep hold of the girl I once had been. Can’t I grow, change, but still keep the parts of me I cherish most? The code of honesty I live by?
I knew if I wanted to keep her, then I’d have to tell Grayson the truth.
But how could I do that and keep my career?
Falling
Grayson
A SMILE TORE FREE THE moment Prim appeared on the steps to her apartment. She was wearing a light pink dress with a jean jacket. Little gold stars dotted the fabric that formed around her waist. And there were those black boots again, covering her ankles. A harshness against all her soft.
All day, I’d thought about her. About the way she’d curled against me during the movie last night. How hard it had been to keep my hands from roaming, reaching. About the pleading in her eyes when it had been time for me to leave, which had then echoed around my skull all night.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she said with a smile. It wasn’t as bright as usual. There was something heavy in her eyes, burdensome. In her shoulders and in the dimples hibernating in her cheeks.
“Is it still serendipity if I was in the neighborhood purely for selfish reasons?”
Wit filled the curve to her lips. “That all depends, Mr. Pierce. Were your intentions entirely pure?”
“Around you, it’s hard to stay pure.” My hand sought her hip. Pulled her flush to mine, right where she was meant to be, where I needed her to be, and I reveled when she inhaled sharply.
There it was—the rosy color I’d found myself searching for flourishing in her cheeks. I mapped every slope of her face. Every subtle freckle beneath her frames. They should be charted like the stars. A map to my very own haven.
“So …” she said, not leaving my arms, but not meeting my eyes either.
“So …”
“You came all this way.”
“I did.”
Her fingers fumbled with the edges of my leather jacket. “For me?”
God, just the tone of her voice made me hard. Sweet like syrup. Pure like honey. Fuck.
“Yeah,” I said, voice hoarse. “I wanted to see this.” I tilted her chin up to see the full scope of her smile. The plumpness of her lips slick with gloss. “My favorite curve. My treasured piece of art. You, Miss Amberly, are by far my favorite person.”
Her rosy expression wilted, chin dipping.
“Hey,” I said, brushing my thumb beneath it. “What is it?”
When her eyes met mine, I hadn’t expected the shadows that moved in. A battle warred in her gaze. Buckled the air around us.
“Prim?”
“What are we doing, Grayson?”
I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Enjoying each other’s company.”
“No,” she said with a sharp shake of her head. “I mean, what … what is this between us? What are we doing? What do you want from this?”
It caught me off guard—the sudden shift in conversation. “I thought it was clear. I’m here, aren’t I?” I nudged my nose against her cheek, wishing she could see what I felt for her. What she did to me. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Her brows dipped, affliction settling in the crevices of her skin. She took a step back, just out of reach.
“That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for,” I said with a weak chuckle. “You do feel the same, right?”
Her head still shook as her arm settled across her waist, somehow making her seem smaller, more fragile. “I’m so sorry,” she said, voice splitting in half. “I can’t … I have to tell you something.”
My heart clanged against bone. A sickening wave spilled over the top of my stomach. I felt her slipping away before I could even get a good grip on this … this thing between us that I’d thought was real for both of us. Maybe I’d read it wrong. Maybe, all this time, she’d been trying to tell me, but I’d been too wrapped up in her to listen.
My head shook. No. I felt her in the deepest parts of me. Every smile. Every glance. She was scared. That was all. And I’d be damned if she thought I’d give up that easily. It was time I proved it to her.
“I get it,” I said. “You can’t trust me yet. The truth is, I haven’t trusted me in a long time either, but you make me want to change that narrative, Prim. And I’ll do everything in my power to make you trust me too.”
“You don’t understand.”
“So, make me understand then.”
She glanced up. “What if it’s me who hurts you?” Her fingers gripped the sides of her head. She paced in front of me. Stopped and started, a dizzying battle I wanted nothing more than to fight for her. “I’m not perfect, Grayson. Far from it. I can be just as selfish as the next person. I can even … I can even lie to get ahead. Don’t you get it?”
“Prim, I—”
“I’m capable of hurting people too.”
That, surprisingly, tore a chuckle from me. “Prim, you don’t have a mean bone in your body. I trust you.” I reached for her arm to stop her pacing. Waited until she finally looked at me. “Hey,” I said, “I mean it, okay? You don’t have to be afraid with me. I got you.”
Her eyes wid
ened with shock, which quickly gave way to an aching sympathy I didn’t deserve. A guilt I couldn’t understand. “I’m sorry. I should have never …” Tears spilled, carving streams over the hills of her face. “I can’t do this, Grayson. Not to you.” She dragged her palms across her cheeks. “Just know that it isn’t you, okay? You’re … you’re everything. I just … this is the right thing to do, okay?”
I felt my head nodding, though every nerve in me was rioting, cracking, a fissure of confusion erupting inside of me.
And then she said, “Good-bye.”
She was heading toward her door when I felt this sudden need take over me. A zapping of the senses, shaking me back awake.
I didn’t want her to go.
I never wanted her to go.
“Wait.”
She stilled, cemented by the same push and pull. “Why?”
I heard it in her voice, trembling with the same need. The same confusing desperation, thick like the summer heat around us. “I don’t know, damn it. Just … just wait. Please.”
I moved closer to her, heart slamming against my chest. Skimmed my fingers down her arm until I reached her hand. Tugging ever so slightly, I spun her around. Her gaze swam within mine, searching for something I didn’t think either of us understood.
“I want to know you, Prim. I want to know everything about you. Take me to your favorite spot,” I said, still holding on to her hand. “Take me anywhere, just … just take me.”
She glanced at the floor. “Grayson, I—”
“You said we could be friends,” I said over her. I didn’t understand her hesitation when the night before she’d been ready for me to kiss her, but I’d give her time if that was what she needed. If that was what it took for her to trust me.
For her, I’d give anything.
“I did.” She glanced up. There it was again. That shadow that passed through her eyes.
“So, let’s start there. Just don’t … don’t give up on me.”
Her bottom lip found its way between her teeth, and then she bit down. With a reverent sigh, it popped free. “Okay,” she said, soft at first. “Okay. Let’s start there.”
Love in the Headlines: A Star-Crossed Friends-To-Lovers Romance (Love in the Headlines Series Book 1) Page 12