Evan didn’t answer, and she wondered if it was because he was too consumed with the pleasure of their lovemaking or because he was thinking of things they could do. She was about to repeat the question when he spoke.
“I’m going to Cromwell to see Dwayne.”
She stopped grinding and looked down at him. “What?”
Evan, eyes closed, continued his thrusting. “I’m going to visit Dwayne. I haven’t seen him for a while and he asked me to come over and hang out.”
“This is the first day off we’ve had together all week and you want to spend it with Dwayne?”
Evan opened his eyes. “Wait, what?”
“We finally get a chance to spend some quality time together and you’d rather run off and hang out with your boyfriend?” she said, pressing a fingernail into his chest.
“Ow!” Evan swatted her hand away. “What do you mean? Since last weekend, you’ve barely spoken to me. I only agreed to go see Dwayne because I didn’t think you wanted me around.”
“Well you’re right about that. I don’t.” She climbed off him and sat at the side of the bed, resting her head in her hands.
Evan raised himself on his elbows. “Oh, come on!” he exclaimed. “Don’t leave me like this.” He looked down at the tented bedsheet. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“Like I give a shit. Perhaps you could ask Dwayne for a hand-job.”
“Yumi, don’t be like this. I want you, not Dwayne. Look, I’ll phone him right now and cancel.”
“Nah, don’t bother — it’s too late. He’s clearly more important.”
Evan leaned his head back, banging it against the headboard. “How was I to know you wanted to spend the day with me?”
“Because I’m your fucking girlfriend!” she snarled, rounding on him. “That’s what boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to do. They spend time together.”
“But you’ve been angry with me all week.”
“Exactly. So don’t you think it’s time we sorted that out?”
“And how are we going to do that?”
She clawed at the sheet, sliding it beneath her fingers as she curled them into a fist. “Fuck you. The reason you don’t know how to sort it out is because you don’t want to sort it out. No, off you go and run away with Dwayne.”
“I told you, I’ll cancel!” He reached for her, his hand resting on her shoulder, but she shrugged him off, standing up. He patted the duvet. “Come back to bed, please. I’ll make it up to you,” he said, bobbing his eyebrows suggestively.
She snorted, tipping her head towards the slowly fading mound in the sheets. “Right now, the only thing I want to do with that is kick it.” Flashing a bitter smile, she stormed out of their bedroom, slamming the door.
In the bathroom, she locked the door and turned the shower on. While she waited for the water to heat up she took a dry towel from the rail and wrapped it around herself, shivering. Once steam began to rise from the shower cubicle she stepped inside, adjusting the heat till the stream flowing over her was on the verge of scalding.
Am I being too harsh?
She pondered the question, running her hands through her hair. No, she wasn’t. She was sick of his inability to commit. There’s nowhere for us to go now. Perhaps she was being silly, wanting to get married, but what else was a couple supposed to do? They’d been together for more than a year — she knew his faults and his idiosyncrasies and still she loved him. It was the natural progression.
Sure, her visa expiry had created a deadline that was closer than she might otherwise have pushed for, but sooner or later they would have found themselves in the same place as they were now. If Evan wasn’t prepared to take the next step she’d be better off moving on and finding someone who was. Better that than being stuck in emotional limbo.
She cried then, silent tears mixing with the rivulets of steaming water. When she had finished crying she stepped out of the shower and towelled herself dry. After wrapping the towel around her torso she found another for her hair and returned to their bedroom. Evan was lying beneath the duvet, his eyes closed. She began to dress, keeping the towel around her until she’d slipped on her undies and a pair of stretch jeans.
Evan opened his eyes. “How was your shower?”
“What do you care?”
Sitting up, he said, “Come on, Yumi, of course I care.”
She stood in front of their low mirror, studying her reflection. She hated the way her belly, soft and glutinous, puffed out over the waistband of her jeans. Would he like me more if I was slimmer, fitter, taller? Evan kept telling her she was beautiful, but she never felt like she could believe him. She slipped a singlet over her bra and turned to face him, arms folded across her chest. “If you cared, you wouldn’t still be lying there.”
He sank back into the bed. “Jesus, I just can’t win with you.” He grabbed her pillow and pulled it over his face.
She ignored him and continued to dress, layering up with a long-sleeved top and a hoodie, then sat at the foot of the bed to put her sneakers on.
“Where are you going?” said Evan.
She shrugged, not looking at him. “I don’t know. For a walk.”
“I can still cancel.”
She stood and turned to him, narrowing her eyes. He lay, like a possum in the headlights, her pillow poised above his head. “No, you go hang out with him and do your homo-erotic, male-bonding thing,” she said, her voice tight, the tone dark. “But while you’re doing that, how about you spend some time thinking about us and where we’re going? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like we’re going nowhere.”
“Yumi—”
“No, no, you can stop right there,” she said, raising her hand. “You’ve made your decision. Go, have fun, and I’ll see you later… maybe.”
FOURTEEN
Kate was in the kitchen spooning viscous globs of blueberry muffin mix into a muffin tray when Evan finally arrived. She heard his car before she saw it, the low rumble of the engine echoing down the street.
Skipping to the door, she opened it as he pulled to a stop outside and climbed out, looking good in a short black jacket and tight blue jeans, a grey scarf wrapped around his neck. As he turned to lock the door of his car, she checked out his bum, a delightful shiver running through her as she imagined it sans trousers, presented on the crumpled white sheets of her bed and sporting a glowing red hand-print from where she’d just spanked it.
“Hi,” she said, shaking herself. She tapped her watch. “What time do you call this?”
“Yeah, sorry I’m late again,” he said, a rueful smile playing across his lips. “I’m not normally this bad, I swear. Worth the wait though — you look amazing.”
“Thank you,” said Kate. “It’s the curry stains that really set it off.”
Truth be told, she had gone a little overboard with her outfit. She wore black tights beneath a fitting, forest-green skirt and a flowing, beige cashmere cardigan. Unbuttoned, the cardigan revealed a low-cut white top and her cleavage, enhanced by a push-up bra. Very little of this was now in evidence, however. Worried about getting food on the ensemble while she was preparing lunch, she had donned her favourite apron — a red and white, cherry-print number with a ruffled gingham trim. She pinched the sides of the apron and performed a curtsy.
“You look pretty good yourself. Now come in before the heat escapes,” she said, pulling him over the threshold and shutting the door. He removed his shoes and Kate placed a hand on his hip, guiding him into the lounge where Corbin was standing in the middle of a sea of brightly coloured plastic blocks.
“Hey, Corbin, how’s it going?” said Evan, crouching and extending his hand. “Good to see you. Whatcha been doing?”
Corbin’s brow creased and he looked up at Kate.
“Go on, Corbin,” she said reassuringly. “Shake Evan’s hand.”
Corbin slowly raised his hand. Evan shook it, starting slow, then speeding up to a frantic pumping that sent Corbin into a fit of gi
ggling.
“Why don’t you show Evan what you’ve been building while I finish getting things ready in the kitchen?” asked Kate, smiling.
Corbin nodded, then tugged on Evan’s hand, pulling him down into the mass of scattered bricks.
Kate returned to the kitchen where she finished spooning out the muffin mix. She put the tray in the oven, then dipped her finger into the mixing bowl and scraped up a glob, sucking it off before dumping the bowl into the sink and filling it with water.
“Hey,” she said, washing her hands, “lunch won’t be ready for a little while. There’s a playground in the park behind the house. Why don’t you take Corbin over?”
“Whaddaya reckon, dude? D’you wanna go to the playground?” asked Evan.
Corbin was driving a toy car along Evan’s leg, making accompanying engine noises. He sprang to his feet, nodding vigorously. “Paygound, paygound!” he said, jumping up and down.
“I guess that’s a yes.”
“Looks like it,” said Kate, drying her hands on a tea towel. “Here, I’ll show you.” She gestured for Evan to accompany her to a glass ranch slider that opened onto a wide wooden deck. Stairs dropped into a landscaped garden bordered by a tall fence, the palings stained a dark brown. Kate pointed beyond the fence to a grassy park, the swathe of frosted green split by a concrete path and dotted with deciduous trees, stark and shorn of foliage. On the far side of the path was a children’s playground, the splash of primary colours contrasting with the browns, greys and greens of the park. “Over there, see?” she said.
Evan nodded. “Looks fun. You sure you don’t need a hand with anything?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’ll just put some warm clothes on Corbin.” She took Corbin to his room and dressed him in a jacket, hat and mittens. They returned to the lounge, now empty, and stepped outside onto the deck, where she helped him into his gumboots. Evan appeared around the corner of the house wearing a grey beanie, his hands hidden in the pockets of his jacket.
“Nice place you’ve got here,” he said.
“Thank you.” He was right, she did have a nice place. She and Lawrence had it built when they first moved to Cromwell and were lucky to get one of the last remaining sections in an established part of town, backing onto the park and close to local amenities. She’d spent several difficult months living in a rented townhouse while they waited for it to be constructed, pregnant and suffering from hyperemesis, liaising with the contractors while Lawrence went to work. As soon as they moved in, however, those struggles became a distant memory. With four bedrooms, two bathrooms and a double garage with internal access, it was light, warm, modern and spacious, and the sprawling rear deck and spa pool were perfect for entertaining.
“Off you go,” she said to Corbin, pushing him gently towards the stairs. “I’ll see you guys soon.”
Corbin stomped down the steps to Evan and followed him through the gate. She watched them go, leaving a trail of footprints in the frosted grass, then returned to the kitchen to finish her preparations.
She was slicing up a tomato for their sandwiches when she heard the sound of a car engine and looked up to see Lawrence pulling into the driveway. She crouched behind the counter and moments later heard his car door slam, followed by a knock on the front door. She remained where she was, silent, eyes closed, hoping he would leave.
Instead he knocked again, the bangs coming loud and fast. “Open up, Kate. I know you’re in there.”
She didn’t answer.
“Oh, come on! Let me in. I need to talk to you.”
Again she didn’t respond, but then she heard the sound of his key turning in the lock and she sprang upwards, dashing towards the door. Lawrence was pushing it open when she leapt forward to slam it in his face.
“What are you doing?” she shrieked, heart pounding.
“Jesus! You almost gave me a blood nose.”
“Serves you right. I told you, you can’t just let yourself in like this.”
“Sure I can. It’s my house.”
“Not any more. I kicked you out because you’re a lying, cheating bastard, remember!”
“For fuck’s sake, I’m the one paying the mortgage, so it’s mine,” snapped Lawrence, pounding the door again.
“No, it’s not!” she said, clenching her teeth. “Look, I’m busy. What do you want?”
“I told you. We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk. I want you to go away.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not. Whose car is that?”
“None of your business,” she snarled, “now piss off!”
Lawrence turned the key and pushed the door open again. Kate shoved back, angling in, mustering as much strength as she could. He resisted for a moment, but then relented and the door slammed shut again. Through the windows, she saw him walking around the side of the house. She darted to the sliding door and was about to lock it, but then changed her mind. Yanking it open, she stood on the threshold, watching him climb the stairs towards her.
He stopped on the edge of the deck and scowled, his eyebrows knitted, forming a single bushy line.
“It’s a small town, Kate. Even if you don’t want to talk, others do. Is that your new boyfriend’s car?”
She placed her hands on her hips. “Like I said, it’s none of your business.”
“What, you’re just gonna play happy families with your new toy-boy? In my house?”
“Again, Lawrence, it’s not your house. And you’re one to talk. How old’s your girlfriend? Has she graduated high school yet?”
“She’s not my girlfriend. I called it off.”
Kate gave a scornful laugh. “What, did you cheat on her as well?”
Lawrence shook his head and turned away, scanning the garden. “No, I’ve just had some time to reflect on the situation. I didn’t think… wait, is that Corbin?”
“Lawrence…”
He moved down a step, looking towards the playground. “It is too. And is that your fuckin' boyfriend? Right, that’s it. I’m going to have a word.”
“Lawrence, stop!”
He marched down the steps and across the yard. Kate scrambled for her gumboots and hurried after him. “Leave them alone,” she begged. “They’re fine.”
“And watch him muscle in on me? No way.”
“He’s not muscling in on you. For God’s sake, we’ve only just met.”
“All the more reason not to leave him alone with Corbin. What if he’s a pervert?”
“He’s not a pervert!”
Evan looked up, frowning, as they approached.
Kate tried again. “Don’t go making a scene — not in front of Corbin.”
“I’m not going to make a scene. I’m just going to have a quiet word.”
“Lawrence, please…”
The playground area was covered by a thinning layer of bark mulch, contained by a polygonal border of heavy wooden sleepers. Lawrence stepped over the perimeter, his foot cracking through the ice of a shallow puddle where the bark had decomposed into mud. “What do you think you’re doing?” he said, stopping in front of Evan.
Evan leaned on a blue plastic tube, eyes wary. Corbin popped out the bottom of the slide, saw his father and exclaimed, “Daddy!” He ran to Lawrence, who lifted him up and hugged him, then propped him on his hip, facing Evan. Raising his eyebrows, Lawrence asked, “Well?”
Kate joined them, puffing, her face burning red, and bent over, hands on her knees. “Boy, it’s hard to run in these things.” She gave Evan a weak smile, then pointed her thumb towards Lawrence and rolling her eyes, said, “Evan, meet Lawrence, my ex-husband. Lawrence, Evan. Now you’ve been introduced, Lawrence, can you piss off and leave us alone?”
Evan extended his hand. “Hi. Pleased to meet you.”
Lawrence made no move to return the gesture. He loosened his grip on Corbin, letting him slide to the ground, where he stood, clutching Lawrence’s leg, a puzzled expression on his face. Lawrence looked down and ruffled his hair, then loo
ked back at Evan. “You haven’t answered my question.”
Evan shrugged. “Me and Corbin were just hanging at the playground.”
Lawrence shook his head. “No, no — there is no you and Corbin. I’m his father, and if any man’s going to hang at the playground with him, it’ll be me. He doesn’t need some stranger moving in and getting him all confused.”
Evan gave a derisive snort. “Dude, I’m not moving in. I just came for lunch.”
“Yeah? Well, now you can turn around and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.”
“That’s it!” screamed Kate, stabbing Lawrence in the chest with a pointed finger. Hampered by Corbin, he swayed backwards, eyes wide, almost losing his balance. “That’s no way to speak to a friend of mine. You’re the one who can go!”
Startled by her outburst, Corbin began to cry.
“Now look what you’ve done,” said Lawrence, glaring at her.
“What I’ve done? This is your fault. I told you not to make a scene.”
“You’re the one making a scene.”
“Lawrence, please…” She squeezed her eyes shut and ran her fingers through her hair, clasping them behind her head. Opening her eyes, she said softly, “Just go.”
“What, and leave Corbin here with this prick?”
“Like this has anything to do with Corbin. It’s all about you and your precious ego. Well, you can take your ego and shove it up your arse.” She grabbed Corbin’s hand and tugged. “Come on, Corbin, we’re going home.”
Lawrence didn’t let go.
Kate stared at him. “Look, you’ve made your point. It’s okay for you to cheat on me and destroy our marriage, but it’s not okay for me to move on afterwards. Thanks, that’s great. It’s not like Evan will want to have anything to do with Corbin or me after this anyway, so I guess you can be satisfied with a job well done.” She paused, then slowly shook her head. “I don’t know what’s happened to you, Lawrence. You’re not the man I thought you were.”
Lawrence winced, shrinking back as if struck, but still held onto Corbin’s hand.
Corbin’s crying went up a notch. “Mummy!” he wailed, face puckered and pink, tears rolling down his cheeks. He tugged on Lawrence’s hand, trying to pull away.
Taking the Plunge Page 10