Her Hidden Legacy

by Danica Favorite

  Lynzee patted her on the arm. “RaeLynn? Since Daddy is not here to say the blessing, can I?”

  That was the other thing she appreciated about Hunter. He was raising the kids with a strong faith that seemed to permeate everything they did. She’d grown up saying a blessing at the table, but it had been a rote prayer that seemed mechanical and not heartfelt. Every prayer she’d had with this family came from the heart. It had made her rethink her own prayers. As her relationship with God deepened, so did the sincerity of her prayers, based on the example she’d been given here.

  RaeLynn smiled. “I would love for you to say the blessing today.”

  The children all clasped their hands and bowed their heads.

  “Dear God,” Lynzee said, “thank You for this food, and thank You for RaeLynn coming over tonight. Please make her not stay gone so long again. Keep Daddy safe from all the mean cows. In Jesus’s name, amen.”

  Part of RaeLynn wanted to laugh at the prayer, but part of it broke her heart. She and Hunter had agreed it was in the children’s best interests for her to keep her distance, but it was clear the kids missed her. She didn’t know how to address this. How could she? She didn’t even know herself what was going to happen. As for the mean-cow thing...

  “Why does your daddy need protection from the mean cows?” RaeLynn asked.

  Lynzee looked over at her, her eyes wide. “Daddy took us out to see the cows, but one of them was mean and chased us. Daddy said not to worry because it happens all the time, but what if the mean cow gets him when he’s alone?”

  RaeLynn smiled and gently patted the little girl’s head. “Your daddy has spent a lot of time with cows, and I’m sure he knows how to take care of himself. As you get older, he’ll teach you to do the same.”

  Growing up on a ranch, Lynzee would have no choice but to learn how to act around the animals, but she didn’t look convinced.

  “That’s what he says, but a cow is a lot bigger than a person.”

  RaeLynn nodded. “That’s why you have to learn how to deal with them.”

  Her answer seemed to appease Lynzee or the little girl was just too hungry to care because she dug right into her soup. Everyone must be hungry, because there was no chatter, only the sounds of children happily slurping their dinner.

  Warm contentment filled RaeLynn as she looked around at this little family, and it had nothing to do with the delicious soup. She didn’t want to leave them. Didn’t want to leave this place. But what else was she supposed to do? What happened in a few years from now if the novelty wore off? She’d be stuck after having given up her dreams and her opportunities.

  More than that, she still had an obligation to tell the stories of the people in the small towns of Colorado so that they were not forgotten. People needed to know about communities like Columbine Springs. When disaster struck in a small town, the rescue people who came from other areas only stayed during the immediate need, leaving the town to pick up the pieces for years afterward. The community here had come together after the fire to rebuild, neighbor helping neighbor, giving what they could, supporting each other long after the rescue efforts were done.

  So much of Columbine Springs still bore the scars of the fire. There were buildings under construction and some burned-out shells that were reminders of what used to be there. It seemed like so much more was at stake than just RaeLynn’s contentment. Was it fair of her to ignore her larger mission?

  What about the kids? a tiny voice inside her asked. No, they would be fine. They had plenty of support from the Double R family. RaeLynn would still come visit. She couldn’t discover her family only to leave them behind. So she would still be able to check in on the kids from time to time.

  After dinner, she played with the children for a little bit before getting them all ready for bed. She noticed that the routine she and Hunter had established early on now ran like a well-oiled machine. It was amazing how easily the children had adapted, and once again, she was grateful they would get to stay with him and have a chance at stability.

  The kids were asleep when Hunter got home, and he looked absolutely worn-out. She would like to sit and talk with him, maybe continue their conversation, but the last time they stayed up late talking, they ended up kissing, and that had only confused matters more. So instead, she gave him a smile and told him good-night.

  Her mom was up, sitting in the easy chair, her Bible in her lap, when RaeLynn arrived back at her cabin.

  “Did you have a good time with the kids?” she asked.

  RaeLynn nodded. “I didn’t realize it would be this hard,” she said. “The kids have missed me, and to tell the truth, I’ve missed them a lot, too. I’ve been trying to keep my distance so no one gets too attached, but I think it might be too late for that.”

  Her mom nodded. “I’ve seen how you all are together at the main house, when we do stuff as a family. Anyone can see that you all love each other very much. I know you have your ambitions, but are you sure that’s what you really want?”

  That was the question she’d been toying with off and on all night.

  “A career is all I’ve ever wanted. You know that. Don’t you remember when I was a little kid and we’d go to the rodeos, and I would interview all the cowboys?”

  Her mother chuckled. “You were always asking for their stories, writing them down, making some up on your own. You always wrote for every newspaper at any school you went to. I know it’s in your blood, but maybe there’s a way to do that from here.”

  RaeLynn nodded slowly. “I thought about it. But with Gerald retiring, someone has to run the magazine. I don’t think I can do that from here. At least not right away.”

  “I can understand that. I do wonder if you’re shortchanging yourself by not even trying. The biggest mistake I made was not trying with Ricky and giving the family a chance to be part of your life.”

  Luanne closed the Bible and set it aside. “I feel like I did wrong by you when I didn’t give you the opportunity to know him sooner. He is not a perfect man, and he certainly had his flaws back then. At the time, I was so worried about all the fights he’d had with Cinco, the way they’d yell at each other, and all the stories he would tell about what a hard man his father was. Cinco used to blame his drinking on how he was raised, and maybe that was true, but I think it also was just an excuse.”

  This was the most RaeLynn’s mother had ever talked about her father, at least in a fair way. She sat next to her, hoping she would share more.

  “The thing is I never really got to know Ricky. I knew what kind of man Cinco was. And as much as I hate to admit it, I assumed that he was just like his family. Cinco was always arguing with them and storming off, so when I did come here, it usually didn’t last very long.” She sighed. “Ricky actually remembered the day Rosie told me to cover up the bruise on my face. He says they didn’t realize it was because Cinco had hit me. He had told his parents there’d been an accident with some tack in the barn.”

  A sad look crossed her face. “Ricky felt guilty for not asking me himself, and the truth is I never stood up for myself because I didn’t think I deserved it. So many problems because we didn’t communicate.”

  From the way her mom looked at her, RaeLynn knew she was trying to encourage her to communicate with Hunter. But they had done that and come to the conclusion it was better to not start something they couldn’t finish.

  “I was a coward,” she continued. “My family had their own stories of Ricky’s cruelty as a rancher, and how he put so many of the smaller ranches out of business. But I never found out the truth for myself. That’s something I admire about you and have learned from your example. Being a reporter, you have a dedication to the truth.”

  The compliment filled RaeLynn’s heart, but she wanted to hear more stories from her mom. She never usually talked about the past.

  RaeLynn nodded slowly. “I remember a l
ot of the stories, but this is the first you’ve ever really opened up about my father and Ricky.”

  “Your father was not a good man. I was young and in love, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I was foolish.”

  The pain in her mother’s eyes made RaeLynn realize how she’d suffered. Until this trip, she’d never seen her mom as a woman. She’d always expected her to rise above as a mom.

  “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize how painful that must have been for you,” RaeLynn said. “I just hated not having a dad.”

  “I’m sorry for that,” her mother said. “At first, I thought that Bart and I were going to last. I just always figured that he would be your dad. And then that changed. Cinco wasn’t a man to be proud of having as a father. Sure, in the rodeo world he was a famous bull rider, but it wasn’t until I was out of the relationship that I realized what a terrible person he was.”

  RaeLynn leaned over and took her mother’s hand. “It’s okay. I understand. It’s been good to hear Ricky’s stories about him and learn other things about him as well. I feel I have a more balanced view of things.”

  Her mother nodded. “I do, too. I hate how bitter I was against the Double R when you were growing up. The truth is more complicated than that, only I couldn’t see it. My family is gone now, so I can’t ever make amends with them.” A tender expression crossed her face. “Ricky bought their old ranch. While it’s technically part of the Double R, Ricky says he’s kept the deed separate, hoping one day to give it to me and you as an apology.”

  RaeLynn hadn’t known that, but it sounded like something Ricky would do.

  “Apology for what?”

  Luanne shrugged. “Even though I know that his estrangement from Cinco was just as much Cinco’s fault as his, he feels guilty that he didn’t do more to protect the relationship, to make sure I knew it was safe for me to come to him.” She looked over at RaeLynn. “Even though my family losing the ranch wasn’t Ricky’s fault, he always felt guilty about the situation. He tried to help my father, but my father was too stubborn, and he could never get past feeling cheated over the water situation.”

  “The lake and the flood? But that was when you were a baby.”

  Her mother nodded. “Yes, but it took years to fully understand the impact. Even though the other ranchers thought it was unfair, Ricky owns the water rights. That’s something I didn’t know back then. My parents always just thought it was selfish that Ricky wouldn’t share, but I get it now.”

  She looked across the room thoughtfully. “Now that it’s been a few years and I see the way the ranch works, I think the lake and the way Ricky controls the water is probably a very good thing for the community. It just took time for people to adjust to the new water usage and distribution.”

  Her mother picked up one of the guidebooks for the ranch. “I’ve read about the history of the ranch from Ricky’s perspective, and I can see where he made both good and bad decisions, but his intentions were always good. He always had the best interests of the community in mind. I’ve met a lot of greedy people in my life, a lot of selfish ones, and Ricky isn’t one of them. To tell the truth, Cinco was, which is why I assumed that Ricky was like him. Combine that with the tales my father told of the Double R’s greed, and I never gave Ricky a fair chance.”

  At least now RaeLynn didn’t have to feel so guilty believing Ricky’s stories and thinking that he had a good heart. She’d never understood the disparity between the different stories, but now it made sense.

  “Anyway,” her mom said, setting the brochure down, “Ricky has asked me to stay. My family’s ranch is mine regardless of what I decide. While it hasn’t been run as a ranch in years, he’s always kept the buildings maintained. I was thinking it would be a good place for me to have a fresh start. Maybe the rest of the family will come along, too. I haven’t talked to them yet.” She smiled at RaeLynn, and the expression on her face held more peace than RaeLynn had seen in a long time.

  “Ricky’s been looking for someone to be the ranch office manager. I’ve done just about everything. I could manage the office. So I’ll have a place to stay, a job and nothing keeping me in the city. I’ve missed this life, so I’ve decided to stay. I hope you’ll consider doing the same.”

  RaeLynn hadn’t expected all that from her mom. Sure, she was pleased at the reconciliation, but this seemed to be a total change for her.

  “And here I thought you’d given up the whole cowboy world forever,” RaeLynn said.

  Her mother laughed. “For a long time, I thought that running after cowboys was the source of my problems, but I’ve learned that my poor taste in men was about the insecurities and wounds I needed to heal inside myself. And that’s something I’ve been doing with the Lord’s help.” She smiled. “Surely you’ve noticed that I haven’t had a boyfriend in about ten years. That’s been intentional on my part. I needed to work on me and be the woman God needed me to be without looking for some man to do it for me. I’ve always admired that you have such a good sense of who you are, only you’ve done such a good job of being independent that you keep telling yourself you don’t need any man.”

  RaeLynn sighed. She wasn’t wrong. But what should she do? Just give up on her plans so she could have a man?

  Before she could think of a response, her mom continued. “You’re pushing away the first one I’ve ever seen make you happy. Don’t give up on Hunter because of my mistakes.”

  RaeLynn hadn’t thought of it that way, but she could see where watching her mother’s own failed romances had definitely influenced her own. Of course, it was more complicated than that.

  “I understand that,” RaeLynn said. “But can you see that I’m just not ready to give up the life I’ve built to raise another family?”

  Her mother nodded. “If helping Hunter with these kids and his daughter feels like an obligation rather than a joy, then you shouldn’t do it. Having a family is a blessing, and if that’s not how you see it, then you’re right not to take it on.”

  She pulled out her phone, turned it on and showed RaeLynn her screen saver, which was a photo of their ragtag bunch.

  “Did you never find it odd that when whatever man I was with left, the kids he’d brought with him to the relationship usually stayed? I didn’t have to keep those kids. I chose to because I loved them and I cared about them. It wasn’t an easy life, but I chose it out of love for the kids.”

  Now that RaeLynn thought about it, she could see how it had been a choice. She used to see it as a sacrifice, but her mom had seen it as an act of love.

  Her mom gave her a stern look. “If you aren’t choosing to be with Hunter and help him with the kids out of love, then don’t do it. He deserves better than that, and you will eventually end up resenting them all.”

  “And what if I feel torn?” RaeLynn asked. “What if I do love them and want to be with them, but I don’t know if it’s enough to sustain me?”

  Her mom shrugged. “Like I said, I don’t see why you can’t have both. Maybe what you really need to do is to explore how you can make it work. The future of the magazine has not been determined yet. It’s possible you could run it remotely. Explore the idea. See where it leads you. Stop hiding from love just because you don’t know how to make it work. Try to make it work.”

  RaeLynn hadn’t given it a try. All she’d done was make a lot of excuses and justify why they couldn’t be together. Maybe it was time to see if they could make it work?

  Chapter Nine

  As Hunter got the kids ready in the morning to go to the ranch house, they seemed happier than they’d been in a while. Not that they’d ever been unhappy, but there was just a different lightness to them as they went about their morning routine.

  Lynzee handed him a picture. “Do you think we could go by RaeLynn’s on our way out so I can give this to her?”

  It was a simple picture, but Hunter didn’t need to look a
t it very closely to see the meaning behind it. A man, a woman, three children and a baby. It was all of them together.

  “That’s a nice picture,” he said.

  Lynzee beamed widely. “Maybe it will help her remember to not stay away so much.”

  The knife in his heart was keener than any pain he could remember. He’d tried so hard to keep this from happening. He shouldn’t have asked her to watch the kids last night, but there hadn’t been any other option. It had reawakened the kids’ desire to see RaeLynn, and now everyone would suffer.

  The worst part was when he’d come home last night, his own heart had been conflicted. He would’ve liked to ask her to stay, to sit and talk like they used to. It wasn’t like they could avoid each other. Now that they knew she was Ricky’s granddaughter, she was at the ranch house an awful lot.

  As he stared at the picture, trying to figure out what to do, a knock sounded.

  When he went to answer it, Janie stepped in. “I’m glad I caught you before you left,” she said. “Instead of hanging out at the ranch house today, we got an invite to go over to The Three Sisters Ranch to see their new baby goats. Sam and Katie have been dying to play with their friend, Ryan, and it’ll be a good chance for all our kids to socialize with theirs.”

  The Three Sisters Ranch was a neighboring place that had been taken over a few years ago by three sisters. They’d been completely inexperienced at first and had become good friends with the Double R family while trying to learn. The families were connected by the bonds of friendship.

  “They don’t mind having an extra bunch of kids?” he asked.