“Did you find that convincing, my letari?”
“Mmm. If you had been any more convincing, I don’t think I’d be able to move for a week.”
“And I would be content to remain here with you.”
Chapter Twelve
“What was your mate like?” Jade asked softly. They were still curled together in the lower bunk, her body tucked against his.
“Aria?” He thought back over the years. Although he had been hurt by her death, he had a child to care for and had coped by pushing the memory of his mate aside and focusing on his daughter. “She was very kind,” he said at last. “And very quiet. But she was very delicate, and she was one of the first taken.”
“She sounds wonderful,” Jade said, but he could hear the strain in her voice. His arm tightened around her shoulders. “How did you meet?”
“It was at a party. We Cires used to enjoy a lot of parties. When we were introduced, my tail flicked towards her and we knew that we would be mates.”
She lifted up on one elbow. “Is that what it means? When your tail is always touching me?”
The aforementioned appendage circled her waist and tugged her back down. “It is an indication of interest,” he said finally.
“But it’s more than just a friendly gesture, isn’t it? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I did not want to frighten you. And perhaps also because I enjoy having your hands on me.” Her body relaxed, and he quickly changed the subject. “What was your mate like?”
“He was… not kind.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t say that. He wasn’t unkind. He was just uninterested in anything that didn’t benefit him. He wanted money and he wanted to be successful and those were the only two things that really matter to him.”
“Not you? Or your daughter?”
“He was interested in me at first, but now I wonder how much of that was because of my family. I thought he didn’t know about them when we met but later, I realized that he knew exactly who I was.”
“He should have appreciated you for the amazing female that you are.”
“You’re very sweet, but I’m not sure that I was that amazing back then either. I wanted to be successful too. My grandmother built our company from nothing and I always felt like I had to live up to her.”
“She pressured you?”
“Oh no. She loved me very much and she wanted me to be happy. But my mother … She wasn’t interested in the business or in me so I spent most of my time with my grandmother even before my parents died. I grew up admiring everything she did. So the fact that Nathan was ambitious didn’t bother me.”
“But something changed?”
She sighed and nestled her head deeper into his shoulder. “I decided I wanted to have a baby. And it didn’t work. And every year I got older, and every year I didn’t get pregnant, and every year Nathan and I grew further apart. It was even worse when I started going through all the tests and procedures trying to get pregnant. He went along with it, but it was obvious he had lost interest and didn’t understand why it mattered to me.”
“A true mate would value your happiness over anything else.”
“Which probably proves that we weren’t true mates.”
Her admission sent a wave of happiness through him, even though he had no right to be jealous of this unknown male.
“But you eventually succeeded in giving birth, correct?”
“I did, and I was so happy. I foolishly expected that Nathan would be happy as well, but he really wasn’t interested. I should have realized that it was impossible to make someone care, but I was determined that Hana would have a real father. The day she was abducted, I had insisted that he take her for a walk so they would have some time together.”
Wetness touched his skin, and he realized that she was crying.
“Do not blame yourself. You did not know what would happen.”
“How can I not? If it hadn’t been for me, she wouldn’t have been there. And he wouldn’t have died.” He gathered her closer as her sobs increased. “The worst part is that I don’t know what happened to her—if she’s happy or safe or if someone is abusing her.”
Her sobs tore at him and he realized that he had no choice. He had to put her mind at ease.
“Jade, please stop crying. I am sure that she is safe and happy and well.”
Her head rose, green eyes drenched in tears. “What do you mean? How can you know that?”
“The first Vedeckian ship was intercepted as you were told. I believe that your daughter is one of the two female infants that were on that ship. In fact, I suspect that she is my…” Inzen paused to take a breath. “She is the child that I have been raising as my daughter for the past year.”
“What!?” She sprang to her feet and he forced himself not to try and prevent her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was not sure.” The words sounded weak, even to himself.
“But you should have told me anyway.”
“I know I should have told you. At first, I did not want to believe that it was true because I could not face the thought of losing my daughter.”
“She’s not your daughter! She’s mine.”
The words sliced through his chest. “And when I finally faced the truth, I did not want you to look at me the way you are looking at me now.”
“Like you betrayed me?” Her bitter laugh made his heart ache. “Because you did. You knew she was everything that mattered to me, and you kept quiet because of this?” She gestured between them. “So you could seduce me? So you could brag that you had your way with a human female?”
“Because I care for you and I could not stand the thought of anything coming between us. I had hoped that if Lily turned out to be your daughter, perhaps the three of us—”
“You seduced me so that could keep my daughter?”
His guilt made him hesitate a fraction too long. “No! I told you. I care—”
“If you really cared for me, you would have told me.”
She snatched up his shirt, then angrily discarded it and picked up one of her own outfits before disappearing into the sanitary unit.
He forced himself not to go after her, remaining frozen on the bed. His chest ached and he rubbed it absently, knowing that he only had himself to blame. For one fleeting moment, he had thought he had everything. Now he was going to lose it all.
Jade headed for the bathroom and stepped under the shower, determined to wash away Inzen’s traitorous touch. Why hadn’t he told her that “his” daughter was human? He knew how worried she was about Hana.
He had seemed so sweet and caring and it had all been an act. How many times would it take before she learned? From her first boyfriend in college, who had wanted the reputation of popping the rich girl’s cherry, to her husband, who had seen her as a rung on the ladder of success, everyone seemed to have an ulterior motive. But this one hurt most of all.
When Inzen touched her, she truly believed that he cared. She cranked up the heat until the water almost burned her skin, but she could still feel his hands and that tantalizing tail caressing her skin. A tear threatened to escape, but she refused to let it fall. Her grandmother had never believed in giving into sorrow and neither did Jade. By the time she finally stepped out of the shower, her armor was firmly in place.
At least that’s what she thought until she stepped out of the bathroom and saw Inzen watching her, sorrow in every line of his big body, but she refused to acknowledge him. Instead, she picked up her sewing supplies and set to work.
He didn’t attempt to speak to her, although he silently presented her with food when dinnertime came. Her inclination was to ignore it, but starving herself wouldn’t prove anything. After choking down a few reluctant bites, she buried herself in her work again. When the lights dimmed, she crawled into her bunk—wearing the nightgown she had made for herself rather than his shirt—and resolutely closed her eyes. She heard him prepare for bed, heard him pause next to her bunk.
&nb
sp; “Good night, my—good night, Jade,” he said softly but she didn’t respond. As he climbed into the upper bunk, a single tear escaped and trickled down her cheek.
Chapter Thirteen
The silence between them stretched on the next morning after Jade awoke. Inzen moved stiffly, his face set in a stern mask but his tail drooped despondently. It flicked towards her whenever she moved, but he always pulled it back, and she was startled to realize how much she had come to enjoy that connection between them.
“We will be landing shortly,” he said finally, breaking the silence. “Please take your position and fasten your harness.”
As soon as she was seated, he checked the harness, but there was no slow, teasing touch this time. He simply slid his finger beneath the belt strap—but even that sent a wave of unwanted desire through her body. Her breath caught, and she inhaled more of his enticing scent. Their eyes met then, and she could see the regret in his, but the rawness of his betrayal was still too close. She deliberately turned her head away. The merest whisper of breath, too slight to be called a sigh, escaped from his lips as he made a small adjustment to the buckle and withdrew.
He returned to the pilot’s chair without speaking but they were so close in the small cockpit that she couldn’t ignore his presence as completely as she wanted. She made herself focus on the planet appearing before them.
Like the pictures she had seen of Earth from space, the surface was covered in swirls of blue and green, but the shades looked very different—the blues edging into purple and the greens ranging from lime to emerald. The planet didn’t seem to have any large oceans, but rather many smaller bodies of water interspersed with the land. At least from this distance, it looked beautiful and peaceful, and she could only hope that her daughter had been happy here.
If her daughter was here…
No.
She refused to consider the possibility that this was yet another dead end and focused on admiring the planet instead. As the ship flew closer to the surface, she began to pick out even more colors. A wide variety of foliage in an astonishing array of bright colors surrounded low buildings in equally bright shades. Inzen headed for a large landing field.
“I will land the ship here and we will transfer to my personal flyer.” Before she could object, he continued, “I have spoken to Abby—one of the human females—and she has arranged for the children to be present to meet you.”
The obvious strain in his voice tugged at her heartstrings, and for the first time she found herself considering how difficult this must be for him as well. If he had been caring for her daughter for the past year, she had no doubt that he loved the little girl. Perhaps he could still visit with Hana once she reclaimed her. The idea appealed to her more then she would have liked but her attraction to the big warrior was undeniable.
“All right,” she agreed, and saw his shoulders relax a little.
He said nothing else as he brought the ship into a smooth landing, then gathered up her belongings, once again neatly wrapped, before she could protest. Deciding it was a battle not worth fighting, she followed him down the landing ramp. Twice, his tail started towards her, and both times, he yanked it back. She didn’t need his assistance so why did she miss the comforting warmth of his tail around her waist?
The landing field on Trevelor was very different from the one on Driguera. Although there was a bustle of activity, there were fewer ships and most of them were small. Instead of being surrounded by multistory buildings, she saw only a profusion of the brightly colored vegetation, which seemed more like enormous grasses than the trees she knew.
A pair of workers hailed Inzen and he threw up a casual hand in response as he kept walking, but she came to an abrupt halt. The two males had feathered crests, one in shades of yellow and orange, the other in every shade of blue, with the feathers descending down over their arms like vestigial wings. They had small, plump bodies and long, thin legs with birdlike feet, and she had never imagined anything like them.
“Is something wrong my—Jade?” Inzen asked, frowning at the workers.
“No,” she said, resuming the walk. “I just wasn’t expecting bird aliens.”
“Ah. The Trevelorians are quite different, but they are a good species. Their civilization was not as devastated by the Red Death and they have opened their planet as a refuge to many other species.” He hesitated. “Both Cire and human are welcome here.”
She didn’t respond as she followed him into his flyer, but her mind was already turning over possibilities. If this were a safe planet, perhaps it would be a good place to settle down with her daughter. And Inzen could come and visit them.
The flyer had a driver’s seat at the front and Inzen headed for that as she stepped into the passenger compartment. As she started to sit down, she found a small pink blanket tucked into the seat and unexpected tears filled her eyes. Was this her daughter’s? She raised it to her face, pressing the soft fabric against her cheek, and inhaled a mixture of both Inzen’s scent and a delicate floral undertone.
“Is this hers? Is this Hana’s?”
“It belongs to Lily,” Inzen replied, his voice tight.
She didn’t ask any more questions but clutched the blanket for the rest of the journey. Inzen lifted into the air, circling around the wide, attractive city before heading out across the countryside.
“I thought you said you lived in town?”
“I do. But there is a Cire colony where Abby and Hrebec live. I left Lily with them while I went to meet you on Driguera.”
“Why did you come for me?” The question had been nagging her. “You could have let the patrol ship bring me here.”
He stared straight ahead, refusing to look at her, but she saw his tail stirring restlessly.
“I wanted to know. Putting off the knowledge of an unpleasant truth will not make it any less true.”
“Unpleasant?” The words caught in her throat. “Is that what I am?”
At her question, he turned to face her, his face shocked. “Never. I can never regret meeting you.” His gaze dropped to his hands. “But I do not want to lose my daughter.”
My daughter, she wanted to cry, but the pain on his face was something she understood too well.
“Perhaps it will be the other child,” she suggested.
“Perhaps. But her parents will suffer just as much.”
“Are you trying to make me feel guilty for wanting my child back?”
“Of course not.” For the first time since the previous day, he didn’t pull his tail back when it reached out to her, curving comfortingly around her wrist. “No one is at fault here, except the Vedeckians, of course. It is just a difficult situation.”
Her anger faded away, leaving only sadness behind. She turned to look out of the window and he returned to the controls, but his tail remained encircled around her wrist.
When they finally landed, she had a vague impression of rustic, colorful houses with open porches and thatched roofs and neat fields stretching out from a small village, but all she could focus on was the thought that she would soon be reunited with her daughter. Inzen escorted her through the village and she caught a glimpse of more of the colorful Trevelorians, as well as a variety of other aliens, before he came to a halt in front of a larger house overlooking a sparkling river.
Inzen knocked, and a moment later, a human woman answered the door. An attractive woman with dark hair and a warm smile, she looked to be about Jade’s age, but she was heavily pregnant. Her throat swelled with familiar envy.
“Hi. I’m Abby, and I’m so, so sorry for what you’ve been through.” Abby’s gaze traveled to Inzen. “I’m sorry for both of you.”
“Where is she?” She knew she was being impolite, but she didn’t care.
“All of the children are out back.” Abby’s eyes were sorrowful as she studied Jade’s face. “Do you think you will be able to recognize her after all this time?”
The question had haunted her throughout their trip, but
she refused to acknowledge it. “Of course I will.”
Abby opened her mouth as if she was about to say something but simply shook her head and led them through the house. A wide porch ran along the entire back of the building and another Cire warrior was seated there, watching children playing on a big blanket.
“Elaina couldn’t stand to be here,” Abby said softly. “I promised to let her know.”
Jade heard the words, but they didn’t mean anything. She was too focused on the children. With the exception of a blonde little girl, perhaps five or six, all of the children looked to be the right age. A little boy and a redheaded girl were bent over a toy, but she passed over both of them immediately. Another little girl was handing a block to a small Cire girl, but she looked up as they came out of the house.
Jade’s heart skipped a beat.
Big brown eyes and brown curls—she looked so much like her husband that she knew she had finally found her daughter. The world started to spin around her, and Inzen’s tail circled her waist as his arm went around her shoulders.
“It is all right, letari.”
She clung to him, tears pouring down her cheeks, as the little girl—as Hana—climbed to her feet and toddled towards them, shrieking with joy.
“Dada! Dada!” She threw herself at Inzen. With an uncertain look at Jade, he scooped her up. The little girl gave him a big kiss and then scowled at him. “Dada gone.”
“I know, little one. But I brought someone back to meet you.”
He turned her to face Jade, but Hana refused to look at her and buried her face in Inzen’s neck. His face was agonized, but she forced herself to ignore it as she reached for her daughter.
“Hana? It’s me—your mama.”
Hana only clung tighter to Inzen.
“She’s used to being Lily now,” Abby said gently.
Her heart breaking, Jade put a cautious hand on her daughter’s back—so small and fragile and yet so much larger than it had been the last time she had touched her. Of course her daughter didn’t know her anymore. Along with the sadness, anger burned within her. She had missed so much. First smiles, first steps, first words. Even though it wasn’t Inzen’s fault, he had been there for all of them, and she glared at him. The tail that had still been around her waist dropped away as he looked from her to the child still clinging to him, despair in every line of his body.
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