by CJ Birch
Epilogue
Jordan
I wake to an empty bed. Ash hasn’t gone far, because I can hear humming in the other room. This is just one of the many things I love about her. You’d never imagine she’s the type to hum, but she does. All the time. It took me years to discover that about her. She’ll do it only when she thinks she’s alone.
I turn over and shield my eyes from the sun. I can picture Ash moving around the kitchen, preparing coffee for us to take out onto our back deck and watch the sun rise over the mountains. We call it coffee. It isn’t really. It’s similar and still gives you a jolt in the morning. And after years of getting used to the bitter aftertaste, I can pretend I like it.
Ash tiptoes into the room, afraid she’ll wake me. Her robe sash has slipped open, revealing the small curve of her belly. She’s only just started showing, even though she’s already five months along. I close my eyes and pretend to be sleeping as she moves around the room getting dressed.
The bed dips as she sits. She runs the tip of her finger down my nose. “Hey, you’re missing the sunrise.” She kisses me on the lips. I open my eyes and am treated to a pleasant view. She hasn’t put a shirt on yet.
I pull her into bed with me and throw all the covers over us. It’s warm and cozy, and I debate trying to convince Ash to stay in bed for the rest of the day. She’ll refuse. Especially today. It’s a big day. I make a big effort to convince her with only my hands and mouth. I run my hand down her belly, about to start closing arguments, when she wraps her hand around my wrist and gently pulls it up.
“Not today.” She gives me one last chaste kiss and throws the covers off. “Your coffee’s on the counter.” She throws a shirt over her head.
Dressed with coffee in hand, I step onto our back deck. It overlooks a huge valley, which dips to meet the mountains in the distance. It’s so early mist still obscures the river at the bottom of the valley. I take a seat next to Ash as our second sun rises above the tallest peak.
It’s been two years, and I still can’t get over how beautiful it is here. The air is humid and fresh with the scent of flowers from the fields drifting through our yard.
It’s been two years since we found New Earth. We don’t have an official name for it yet, but that’s what everyone calls it. Hartley says it’s not good enough or, in his exact words, “pathetic.” I agree. From what I remember, Earth was a parched yellow sphere. We need something that describes paradise. And as I do on most days, I wonder if this is what it was like to watch the sunrise on Earth. Is this what Sarka saw? I think about him sometimes, more than I used to. When I was younger I rarely thought about him. It was a conscious effort to get over that part of my life. But after getting to know him as an adult, I think about him now, especially about what he said in the tunnel about choices. Will I make those same choices for our child?
It’s been twelve years since that day. Over a decade and he’s still in my thoughts. Ash says it must be because I believe him and forgive him. It surprises me that she can talk about that like it’s okay—that day when I pulled her away from trying to rip him apart, I’m not sure if she was trying to hurt Sarka or her own father for what he did.
I know she’ll never forgive him for what he did to her, but she’s made her peace with it. Ash doesn’t like to dwell on the past. I try not to.
After the destruction of the Kudo, I was worried the Varbaja would find a new prey, maybe us. It’s hard to change direction after you’ve been going the same way for so long. Hundreds of years and dozens of generations were lost in that war. Once it was over, I thought they’d feel bereft. Many didn’t have homes to go back to, or they were so far back in their memories there was no point to returning. But as soon as the war was over, they did take on a new purpose. Us. They helped us fix our ships, even sharing some of their technology. Those who wanted to join were invited to come along with us on our journey to find a new home. It was decided unanimously that we would continue from where we were.
We never did tell the others the true nature of our mission. Those of us who knew decided it was best that the others remember home with fondness instead of bitterness. It hasn’t been as hard as I thought. Shortly after we rendezvoused with the Posterus, Vasa took his own life. I think the guilt was too much for him. It’s one thing to agree to something when it’s only an abstract mission. But when he saw the results of his decisions, he couldn’t live with himself. I wish I’d had a chance to talk to him before he made that choice. He was just a pawn. They would’ve found someone else if he’d refused. But that’s what life is, a series of choices, and it’s how we decide to live with those choices that defines what kind of life we’ll lead. I haven’t always made the best ones, but I feel I’ve come to terms with the ones I’m not so proud of.
Gladwell was given an opportunity to either lose his rank and position or leave the ship and join the Varbaja. Since it was agreed we would hide why we ended up in that system, it was hard to punish him as a traitor. Even stripping him of his rank would be risky; we had no guarantee he’d stay quiet. But he chose the latter and left the Posterus. Who knows where he is now, and frankly, who cares?
If the Commons hadn’t bargained our lives for theirs, we’d still be stuck on the Belt with them. Instead we’re here. And it wasn’t just our species we helped; the Varbaja and every species the illya preyed on are now free. That wouldn’t have happened if the Commons had made different choices.
I drain the last of my coffee and set the mug on the table between us. It hasn’t all been great. There have been sacrifices and hardships. The Brimley and her crew never made it back from their mission. They just stopped reporting back one day. We waited for as long as we could. The Varbaja sent out probes and scout ships, but we never did learn what happened to them. Ash says it’s a new mystery to replace the one we solved on the planet. That’s where Hartley says they probably ended up. They found the planet and decided to settle. As much as I disliked Harrios, I don’t think he’d do that. Not because he was a selfless person deep down. The joy of gloating that he’d found a planet for everyone to settle on would outweigh any urge to keep it for themselves.
We’ll never know what happened to them, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Space is never easy. No matter how much we think we’ve conquered it, there’s always something to smack you in the face and prove you know nothing.
Tup decided to stay with us after all. Living on a large ship was the only life he’d ever known, and as he put it, “I’d grown to like a lot of human customs.” He especially liked scrambled eggs with hot sauce. But when we settled on New Earth, Tup decided to keep going. We helped him upgrade his ship for long journeys, gave him as much liquid egg solution as he could fit in his cargo hold, and said our good-byes.
For the first year or so we got long-range probes from him. But soon those stopped. I like to think it’s because he found a natural wormhole and is exploring a whole new solar system.
Ash stands and I groan. I’m not ready to start the day. I pull her into my lap. “Just a few more minutes.”
“Are you kidding? We have so much to do.” She pecks me on the forehead and stands. “If you’re still here when I’m done showering, you’re in trouble.”
“Hey, you can’t boss me around. I still outrank you.”
She smirks at me from the door. “On the Persephone that’s true. But when we’re at home,” she chucks a thumb at herself, “I’m in charge.”
“Says who?”
She looks around like I’m crazy, then points to herself again. “Me. Of course.”
It wasn’t easy at first, and not because people objected. Sure, we’d broken Union fleet rules, but fuck the rules. Out here things are different. No one gave a shit or begrudged us our happiness. But those rules were there for a reason. It’s not easy maintaining a relationship with your subordinate. Yet Ash has never wanted my command, which makes things easier. We made our own rules. Very early on we decided that when we were on duty, I was in charge. To
make it fair, when we’re not, she gets to be in charge. Sometimes. A lot of the times. But I have the power to veto. I’ve used it only twice. Once when we were deciding on colors for our walls. No way was red going to be the color of our bedroom. And when she wanted to name the baby Zuma if it was a girl. We have no idea what we’ll name her, but it’s not going to be Zuma.
Ash pops out of the door in a towel. “Did you remember to bring a case of tofuloaf from the Persephone?”
I roll me eyes. “Yes. It’s in the back storage room. I still think it’s a stupid wedding present.”
“It’s a joke. I got him something else as well.” She ducks back inside.
Hartley’s getting married today, and Ash is his best man, which means duties. I’ve not been to many weddings, but I do know it’s best when you’re not part of the wedding party. I like the idea of showing up, handing over a gift, enjoying the refreshments, and leaving. The wedding isn’t until this afternoon, but we have to be at the hall before noon. I’m not sure who Yakovich’s maid of honor is, but I’m happy to be surprised because it means I’m not in the wedding party. Not that it matters. I’m as good as in, according to Ash.
I hear the water from the shower turn on. The window is open, so Ash’s humming floats out over the sound of the water spray. A tiny yellow bug with long wings lands on the edge of my coffee cup. A thin, forked tongue unfurls and laps up the liquid left in the bottom.
This planet is almost perfect. Atmospherically, very similar to Earth, and best of all, we have the whole thing to ourselves. As far as I know, no one on my crew has ever mentioned the planet and the avians to anyone. I hope as they evolve, they make better choices than we did. We’re living proof of what happens when you don’t care.
From what I’ve seen of this planet so far, and we’ve done extensive exploring of this continent, this planet is much better suited to us. It’s in the goldilocks zone in a binary system, just like the one we were heading toward. Only this one didn’t take us a lifetime to reach.
I spend a few more seconds watching the birds and insects wake up and begin their day before I head toward the shower.
Ash is still humming when I pull the curtain back. She’s mildly shocked until she notices my nudity. Her eyes drop lower, running the length of my body.
“We have a few minutes before we need to start our day.” I step into the shower and close the curtain behind me.
She grins. “Challenge accepted.”
About the Author
CJ Birch is a video editor and digital artist based in Toronto. When not lost in a good book or working, CJ can be found writing or drinking serious coffee, or doing both at the same time. She doesn’t have any pets, but she does have a rather vicious ficus that has a habit of shedding all over the hardwood, usually right before company comes. False Horizons is her fourth book. You can find CJ on social media @cjbirchwrites or www.cjbirchwrites.com.
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