She just needed his friend to explain more, which he strangely seemed reluctant to do. Why? Mayhap there was something that had happened to Ralph that was far too difficult and disturbing to disclose.
It seemed odd, however, that Sir Thomas Lovent would make such a public demonstration of giving back Ralph’s ribbon at the start of an exhibition tourney and then avoid her request to talk about his deceased friend. There was no doubt in Gwen’s mind that had she not pursued him again earlier he would have avoided her still. Yes, there was something about Sir Thomas Lovent that bothered her. It was the way he could barely meet her eyes as if he were concealing something.
‘There—what did I tell you? He’s here.’ Brida took a bite and motioned to the entrance of the hall. ‘Admittedly, a little late.’
Gwen flicked her gaze to the tall, powerful, broad-shouldered knight with golden hair and friendly green eyes. Sir Thomas spotted her and nodded in her direction before moving to sit with his lord’s retinue. He was followed by another man, as tall and broad shouldered as Thomas Lovent, with a deep hood covering his face and his head bent low. He was the same man she had noticed earlier in the day when she had sought Sir Thomas in the practice area. Gwen frowned at them.
There was something odd about the hooded man. Something slightly unsettling. For one thing, he looked frankly a little too old to be a knight’s squire. And another was that he seemed strangely familiar somehow. Gwen wondered whether she had encountered the squire somewhere before, but surely that was not possible.
She rose abruptly and looked down at Brida. ‘Let us go now and get this meeting over with.’
‘No, wait. Allow the man to settle before you bombard him with your questions.’
Heaven help her, but it was at that very moment that Gwen saw another man she certainly did recognise. Unable to move, she felt as though she had turned into stone.
Oh, Lord above...
Stephen le Gros sat across the hall underneath the arch with a group of Kinnerton hearth knights. And as usual, he was watching her in a way that made her skin crawl, assessing her in a manner that made her feel stripped bare. Exposed.
Gwen knew that the possibility of seeing the man was highly likely, but she didn’t expect it to be this soon. His predatory gaze made her feel as though she were once again being hunted. God, how she hated him. Hated how he had changed her life irrevocably. She schooled her features and gave him a bold stare of her own as the man’s lips curled up. He raised his mug and nodded at her, his smile turning into a sneer.
She wanted to turn her head, to look away, but, no...she was not going to give the man the satisfaction of seeing her affected by his vile attempts at intimidation.
Instead, Gwen rose and moved towards the area where Thomas Lovent sat. She might be reckless as well as a little foolish, but her patience had worn thin and, in any case, she had to get as far away as possible from Stephen le Gros’s lingering gaze.
Gwen pushed the man out of her head and thought about what she hoped to achieve from this exchange with Thomas Lovent. She wanted peace—nay, she needed it after carrying the guilt of Ralph de Kinnerton’s death around for too long. It might be irrational, but it never shifted. It never allowed her a moment to ease her conscience.
‘Good evening, Sir Thomas.’
He stood and took the hand she offered, bending his head over it.
‘My lady,’ he muttered, without meeting her eyes. ‘Come, we can talk here in this quiet corner.’
Yet the appointed corner held the tall shadowy figure of his squire or manservant, who had followed Sir Thomas into the hall and who stood rigidly in the dark, his head covered beneath a hood. Well now, it was hardly that quiet or private.
How strange.
‘I had hoped this conversation would be in confidence, sir.’ She indicated with a nod to the dark silhouette standing behind Sir Thomas.
‘Naturally my lady, but please do not mind him. My man is sadly a mute and an oaf, Lord help him, but he’s loyal to a fault with the necessary brawn so extremely useful.’
‘I see. Well, as long as you’re sure.’ She remained a little uncertain, but complied, nodding and conveying to Brida that she would be talking to the man privately.
‘Now then, Lady Gwenllian, what is it that you’d like to know?’
‘As I have said, Sir Thomas, I’d like to know everything. Everything that could fill in the gaps with what happened to Ralph after he left Kinnerton and then later met his...his demise.’
‘Allow me first to offer you some ale,’ he said as he poured into two mugs and handed one to her.
‘My thanks. Now, please tell me about Ralph.’ Gwen would not let him stall any longer.
‘Very well,’ he said softly. ‘I met Ralph de Kinnerton a few years ago in Poitiers, where we served together in Lord Aligner’s mesne. We became fast friends, being of a similar age and disposition.’
‘I see.’ But, no, Gwen didn’t see. As courteous and gallant as Thomas Lovent seemed to be, he was evidently a powerful warrior and so unlike Ralph in every way, with his gentle nature.
‘Ralph was increasingly uneasy, increasingly worried about threats that were directed at him alone, rather than our garrison...and yet there was nothing tangible that he could lay his finger on. He sensed there was danger around him, but never found out the truth.’ Sir Thomas sighed, taking a sip of his ale. ‘Then one day he went out with a small patrol of soldiers...’
‘And never came back.’ Gwen swallowed.
‘Yes, exactly.’ He nodded grimly.
‘I presume you hadn’t gone with him.’
He grimaced. ‘No, I’m afraid I had not.’
They sat in silence for a moment before Sir Thomas met her gaze again. ‘As for the ribbon, well, naturally Ralph left it in his possessions. When I saw you yesterday morn, I thought it may be best that I returned it to you. It was never meant to cause you any distress, otherwise I would never have given it back.’
There was something far too polished about his answer. As if it had been rehearsed, but that made no sense. Gwen’s gaze shifted over Sir Thomas’s shoulder to where his rather large squire stood rigidly, shrouded in darkness, and she swallowed uncomfortably. There was something disturbing about the man standing there listening to this discourse. She still wondered why it was quite so necessary that he be there at all. She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it...
She dragged her eyes back. ‘Ralph told you about me?’ she asked.
‘Yes, Lady Gwenllian.’
‘Well, then you know about how things stood between us.’
‘Indeed.’ He cleared his throat. ‘But what I do not know and what Ralph never understood fully was why you refused to leave Kinnerton with him. He said something about doing your duty or some such?’
Was Gwen imagining that he had raised his voice a little louder?
And how was she to explain to this man? ‘It was complicated.’
‘I’m sure it was, Lady Gwenllian but I hope you can comprehend that, for my friend’s sake...for the sake of his memory, I had to ask.’
‘That was the reason in itself, sir,’ she said slowly. ‘It was for Ralph’s sake that I couldn’t run away with him.’
His brows drew in together. ‘I am not sure I understand. Were you both not exposed to the same danger that rose after Kinnerton Castle was seized and Ralph’s father accused of treason?’
‘I can see that you know the whole of it.’
He gave his head a little shake. ‘Yes, but I only know everything from Ralph’s perspective.’
Sir Thomas’s squire shifted in an agitated way that caught Gwen off guard. ‘Is your squire well? Perhaps he’d like to sit somewhere?’
‘No, do not concern yourself with him, my lady. He is fine where he is.’
‘I suppose you know best.’ Her brows met in th
e middle, uncertainty making it difficult for her to tear her eyes back to the knight who sat in front of her. ‘To answer your earlier question...no. The danger that I was exposed to, as you put it, was very different to the real one Ralph faced. For me, that same danger assured me a measure of protection, strangely enough.’
‘I do not understand.’
No one needed to know that part of Gwen’s reasoning and she was in no mind to explain herself. No one save Brida knew the truth of exactly what she had done to ensure Ralph’s safe passage. In any case, the risk she had taken had somehow paid off, when she had managed to leave Kinnerton Castle as well soon after.
‘It’s of no consequence, Sir Thomas—besides, I soon became the Crown’s ward, so the danger you allude to never applied to me in the same way as it did to Ralph.’ She sighed. ‘The truth was that I could not leave with Ralph, as that would have been even more perilous...for him.’
‘You were—’ he raised a brow ‘—protecting him?’
The man seemed incredulous that a woman would deem to protect a man.
‘Yes. Much good it did me,’ she said bitterly.
He watched her for moment before looking away. ‘I am sorry for that, Lady Gwenllian.’
She suddenly sensed a presence behind her and snapped her head around to find Stephen le Gros standing over her. Yes, a very unwelcome presence.
She bristled with indignation that he was here, standing close to her, in such a presumptuous way. Yet she could hardly make a scene in such a public place, with King Henry and his court in attendance.
‘And what exactly do you have to be sorry for, sir?’ Stephen le Gros scoffed.
Gwen’s stomach twisted in an angry knot as the knight who sat opposite her stood. And she prayed that was all the conversation that Stephen had heard.
Suddenly the air was charged with a palpable tension, emanating from not only Sir Thomas, but strangely from his man standing in the shadows. For some unfathomable reason, she sensed the menacing mood as a prelude to a brawl. And although she welcomed the intervention of Sir Thomas and his shadowy squire as they towered over Stephen le Gros, it would not do.
She shot up, addressing Sir Thomas. ‘I thank you for giving me your time, sir.’
‘It was a pleasure, my lady. May I be of service and escort you back to your husband?’
She smiled weakly. ‘That won’t be necessary—besides, I am unmarried, sir.’
Stephen le Gros stepped towards her and wrapped his clammy hand around her elbow. ‘Come, my dear.’
She yanked it free as discreetly as she could manage from the overbearing man and inclined her head slightly, ignoring Stephen. ‘Good evening, Sir Thomas.’
* * *
It had taken all of Ralph’s resolve not to go after Gwen and make sure that his repellent cousin was as far away from her as possible and that she was well. But he couldn’t risk it. It had been close. Far too close. The fact Stephen le Gros was even touching Gwen in that familiar manner made his blood boil and almost made him act.
Almost...
The man had taken everything from him. Not that Ralph could prove that the insurgency and treachery against his father had been instigated by his cousin. But there was no doubt that Stephen le Gros had been behind it all, allying himself with his father’s enemies. His cousin had his father’s blood all over his hands as well as the attempt on Ralph’s life in Aquitaine, two years ago. And the temptation to end it here and now had been shockingly inviting.
Ralph’s hand had clenched tightly around a dagger, concealed by his hood, his knuckles white as he fought to control the urges to plunge it into the man’s chest. Yet that would not help further his cause. Ralph had to somehow hold on to his temper, needing the patience he never had when he was younger. He would achieve nothing if he were to vent all of his anger, here, in front of the King, the Marcher Earls and his court.
God, but everything had changed the moment Stephen had come to live with them, years ago. From the first, his cousin had managed to manipulate himself into his father’s high esteem. And be a constant reminder of what it meant to be a knight. The perfect shining example of the heir apparent, or so his father would say. And his cousin had exploited this to his advantage. He’d taunt, bully and put Ralph down at every opportunity.
Stephen had been everything that Ralph had not. Even Ralph’s physical prowess had been questioned at the time. His cousin being older, so naturally bigger and much stronger than him. Although, judging by what Ralph had seen tonight, that no longer held true between the two of them.
Even so, Ralph had to tread carefully and not allow his animosity for Stephen le Gros get in the way of his attempt to restore his castle and lands.
Ralph might have been sorely tested this eventide after Stephen’s unwanted attentions towards Gwen, but he could not lose sight of what he had to do.
Gwen...
Ralph’s head was still spinning from everything she had disclosed. He was no closer to comprehending her reasons for refusing to run away with him six years ago than he was now. The certainty of what he had believed to be true was now being challenged even further.
It seemed that Gwen had not stayed behind for duty alone or because she had not cared for him and wanted to tie her ambitions to whoever would be the next Lord de Kinnerton. No, she had, by her own admission, done it as a way to protect him.
Protect him?
How exactly? He tried to recall what she had just said.
‘I could not leave with Ralph, as that would have been even more perilous...for him.’
Had she really thought that he needed protecting? There was something both endearing and frankly disturbing about that. The idea that Gwen might have perceived Ralph too feeble to protect himself, let alone guard her from harm, was too depressing to contemplate. Had that been it?
There was also another disclosure that had taken him by surprise. She was unmarried, still.
Why?
Again, Ralph pondered on the circumstances of Gwen’s life since they parted that fateful day six years ago. What had happened to her in the intervening years? Had she been looked after, protected from men such as Stephen le Gros, who it seemed was still in pursuit of her, damn it?
There was only one way to find out. Against his very own judgement that he needed to avoid her and banish her from his mind, Ralph realised something, then. He had to see her again.
CHAPTER THREE
It was never part of Ralph’s plan to seek Gwenllian ferch Hywel. As well as that, Will Geraint and Hugh de Villiers had warned him that he should not disclose his true identity to anyone and risk exposure. Not yet.
And God knew that Ralph could not afford to disappoint the two men, who could otherwise relegate him by dropping him off their elite group of knights in this tournament. They were right, too, and yet...
Yet Ralph knew he had to somehow see Gwen again only to satisfy his curiosity. Especially since he now understood, from her countenance and the sadness in her eyes, that Gwen had mourned him.
She still mourned him.
Ralph had been surprised by that. The pull on his conscience that she still believed him to be dead was beginning to sit heavily on his shoulders. He must inform her that he had not perished, if only to allow her some peace of mind.
More than that it was also becoming necessary to stop drawing attention to them. The fact that she had sought Tom not once but twice, in an open place and on the same day, had certainly roused Stephen le Gros’s notice and was far too dangerous at this particular time.
Yes, Ralph would tell her the truth to satisfy her curiosity and he’d have to hope that she would keep his secret before parting ways. But how to proceed without rousing suspicion?
* * *
All throughout the following day, his mind was preoccupied with this difficulty and the best way forward. But nothing had come his way
. Gwen had not made any further appearances. She had not come to the hall in the castle for the evening feast and nor had not been seen anywhere.
There was only one thing for it. He must take drastic action. Which meant that, against his better judgement, Ralph had agreed to an unwise scheme.
So, here he was with Tom in the middle of the night, lurking outside the small arched window of the castle keep, where they believed Gwen to be housed.
God help him!
‘What exactly do you mean to do, if you see her?’ Tom muttered underneath his hooded cloak. They were in the deserted part of the inner bailey of the stone castle, crouched low beneath the nearest shrubbery dotted around the small herb garden that infused the moonlit sky with its heady scent.
Ralph rubbed his chin and the ragged scar on his face, soothing it. ‘I’m not entirely sure, but I’ll know when the moment presents itself.’
‘Let’s hope that the happy event presents itself far quicker than you anticipate because we cannot afford to be careless and wake another group of maidens as we just did.’
‘And whose fault was that?’ Ralph hissed under his breath. ‘I know this castle as you do not.’
‘By all means, go ahead, then, unless you feel inclined to climb that tree outside the window you believe may be hers and give the poor woman the shock of her life.’
‘No, I think we should keep this simple, as we planned.’
But this wasn’t simple at all.
Fate might have thrown them together again, but how was Ralph to let Gwen know that he was alive, without causing her more alarm and, yes...shock?
Ralph crept out from behind the shrub with difficulty and hurled the stone in his hand against the wooden shutters of the arched window of the upper storey before diving back. He could hear barking somewhere in the distance, but otherwise there was only the heavy stillness of a velvety night sky, as if in anticipation of the unknown.
Ralph took a deep breath, realising that he was nervous of disclosing his secret and how it might be received. He was a changed man from the one Gwen had known. Physically he was bigger, from his height to the honed muscles he had attained as a warrior, to the scars covering his body and, in particular, the mangled, distorted side of his face. Would she be repulsed by him and why in heavens should that matter? He swallowed in disgust. The purpose of all this was to unburden Gwen, reveal his existence and make sure that she kept away from him, afterwards. After all, they were as good as strangers now, even though they had once cared for each other. But that time no longer existed and neither did the boy he had once been. The boy she had turned away from.
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