by Lavinia Kent
She took a sip of her wine. “I’m telling you too much. I’m not sure why. And I can’t imagine you care.”
Strangely, he did care. Not about brides and bridesmaids, but about the strange tone that had taken her voice when she’d talked about her sister. It was very clear that not everything was comfortable between them.
“I’ve been told I’m easy to talk to, that I listen well.” That was true. “I’m always here if you need to talk.” What the hell was he saying? He never made offers like that to people and certainly not to women he hardly knew, even if he did think they were incredibly hot.
“Thanks. It still feels odd sharing my secrets, when I don’t know you that well, but it’s good to hear.”
That was a relief, or at least it should have been. He was sort of disappointed that she didn’t want to talk to him more. “I guess we should talk about why you texted, what you wanted?”
“You.” A light flush rose on her cheeks the moment she said the word. “That didn’t come out right. I meant to be much subtler, but it is the heart of the situation. I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you since…since…since our encounter. I’ve tried really hard to keep it professional, but I confess that I have quite lewd thoughts about you, Mr. Walsh.”
Oh, did she, now? He’d have to get more details about exactly what she was thinking. “And why is that? You were pretty adamant that you thought once was enough. And you’ve responded to my texts by cutting off any hint of flirtation.”
Her jaw tensed as she swallowed. “My mind and body have worn me down. I can’t stop thinking about you, dreaming about you, as I said. And…”
“And…?”
“And I think maybe I made a mistake cutting things off between us so quickly.” Her eyes moved over him. “I have to confess I can’t stop thinking about you, about you touching me—about me touching you. It’s just…” She looked up and held his gaze. “I just don’t want any misunderstandings. I am not looking for anything permanent.”
He didn’t want permanence either. This was not the time in his life for him to even begin to think about a serious relationship. And she’d said she didn’t want to leave Forbidden Cove. If there was one thing in his life he was pretty sure of, it was that he wasn’t staying here longer than a few more months, a year at the very most. If he wasn’t leaving for med school, there’d still be something else. So why was he bothered to hear her say it? “Are you sure? The rules seemed to change pretty quickly last time.”
“I am quite sure. Do you have questions?” She sounded surprised, as if she’d been completely confidant of his answer, although he could not mistake the sliver of doubt that flashed in her eyes.
“I just want to be sure I don’t find myself feeling kicked out of bed again. That makes me wonder if this is a good idea.”
“What? But you were the one who kept sending me provocative texts, perfect texts that never quite crossed the line.”
“Thanks. But the fact is, you oh-so-politely shot them all down. You said you didn’t want to be seen with me. I’ve never felt that way before and I didn’t like it. Has that changed? Are you suddenly okay with being seen with me?”
Her chest filled with air and then deflated. “Yes. Or at least mostly. I’ve never been one to display my relationships and I’m not quite sure that we’re even talking about a relationship.” She held up her hand, stopping his comment. “I am not saying it’s not, only that it’s early. What I do know is that I’m desperate to get to know that body again.”
Well, that was flattering—or at least mostly so. “I’m not opposed, but I do want to understand more, to know what’s changed and to get what about me bothered you to begin with. I have too much going on in my life to want to spend time with someone who doesn’t make me feel good—no matter how attractive I might find her.”
She gave him a slow, sexy smile. “Oh, I promise to make you feel very good.”
“I know you will—but that I can get from anybody.”
Her eyes widened, and he saw a flash of hurt. “I didn’t mean that. I certainly don’t feel this chemistry with everybody, but I’m sure I could walk into a bar and find half a dozen women willing to settle for just sex.”
Her neck vibrated as she swallowed. “I’m sorry if I am not offering what you want.”
“You’re offering more than enough. I simply want to be sure that if we do this, we’re not going to end up right back where we are now…”
* * *
—
Veronica stared into Brian’s eyes, even as her tongue traced the edge of the glass. How did she answer that? Could she promise that?
She didn’t want to hurt him again—she hadn’t understood that she had—but it was hard to promise when she didn’t fully understand her own motivation. It was mostly the sex she was after. Was that really so bad?
Brian’s eyes dropped to her mouth. Her tongue circled the edge of the glass again. His eyes followed, his pupils growing. She could probably win this one without speaking another word, without sharing her secrets, without making a single promise.
But it wouldn’t be right.
She turned and led him to her living room, settling herself in the large, comfy chair across from the couch. It was a chair that would fit two, but they were not yet at that point in their relationship. She saw him consider for a moment, before he sank into the couch, as she’d known he would.
She took a great gulp of air and began. “It’s hard to make promises about the future, but I do sincerely want to be with you tonight—and not only for tonight. I know it sounds like a big turnaround—and maybe it is—but I’m being sincere and I’ve spent time thinking about it. It’s not just the thought of your incredible thighs supporting me against the wall that has me saying this, although I’m starting to melt a bit inside.” Her eyes settled on said thighs and she saw him tense.
“Keep talking.” He leaned toward her.
“You’re not like the guys I normally date. I am used to men who are more set in their lives, more mature. I am not sure I’ve ever dated a younger man.”
His brows drew together and his tone grew defensive. “Why does that matter? How old are you anyway?”
That was a valid question, the way she was talking. “I’m thirty-five, probably too old for you.”
He stayed silent, waiting.
She smiled apologetically. “I know it’s silly, but I hate to have people talking about me, to know that people are talking about me. There was a lot of gossip about my parents when I was young, and it still stings.”
“I am not sure that I understand the problem. Why would people talk? Surely not because I am a few years younger.”
She released a long breath. Did she blame her feelings on the age difference? It seemed kinder than saying because he didn’t have a real job and people would say he was after her father’s money—not that she expected to see much of that. “People would talk because people like to talk. My family has lived in Forbidden Cove a long time and so people gossip. I know I shouldn’t care, but I’ve always been very careful about what I do here. I’ve never been with a man here. I’ve kept my relationships in the city. I don’t just dislike negative attention, I dislike any attention.”
He raised a brow, questioning—or was that doubting.
“I know. I know. It’s silly, but my dad lives here and it’s truly important that I impress him right now. He’s thinking about retiring and I really want him to make me a partner in his firm before he does. I’ve worked so hard to get here. I don’t want to do anything that might give him doubts.”
“And he’d be unhappy about me?” Brian asked.
He waited. Was she seriously worried about her father’s opinion? Hell, she was thirty-five, not twenty.
She was quiet for a moment, but then seeing that he wasn’t going to say anything, she continued. “God, I do
n’t know. Maybe. He’s such a stickler for appearances. I just want to keep him happy right now. Remember, this is my career. I do well working at the firm. I’m not going to deny that. But I’ve spent years trying to make partner, and now not only is that in reach, but there’s also a possibility of me taking over the firm. If that happened, I might actually be able to afford a house on the beach and everything I’ve ever wanted. And I deserve it. It sounds horrible to say, but I’ve worked hard and proved myself, far more than Charlotte has—she works at the firm too. She’s years behind me, shouldn’t even be up for partner yet, but with the way the firm is structured, the only thing that really matters is what Dad wants.” She said the last almost like a curse.
He’d never been in that position, but he had been in situations where the coach played favorites and the most talented player didn’t always come out on top. It normally straightened out after a while, but that didn’t make it pleasant in the meantime. “I think I understand that, but surely your father—”
She jumped in, there was no doubt that she believed what she was saying. “There’s no ‘surely’ with my father. None at all. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it all day, but Charlotte said something today, something that made me realize that she’s getting married now because she thinks it will make a difference with Dad.”
“You must be exaggerating.” Nobody in real life was that Machiavellian.
“Maybe, but only a little. Although exactly what she believes he’s thinking is hard to say—he might think she’d be more steady and dependable if she was married. He’s a bit of a dinosaur.”
He sounded more like a rock than a dinosaur. Surely nobody could be that bad?
“I spent a good part of today trying not to think about it. I mean, it was only a brief comment and I don’t actually know what she meant—and when I tried to ask she changed the subject. It’s not like it’s something she could admit to.”
“True.” What else could he say?
She put her wine back on the table and laughed lightly. “And this has gotten incredibly off course. I’m supposed to be seducing you, not sharing my work worries. I probably sound like a crazy person. Clearly I am worrying more than I realized.”
“I don’t mind—maybe I like crazy.”
“But I do mind. I think I made it clear that I want to have sex with you, not have deep conversations.”
It was his turn to sit up.
She exhaled. “I’m sorry, that came out far harsher than I meant. Talking about this truly does have me on edge. I do want to get to know you, to be friendly, I just don’t feel like we need to confide the minutia of our lives. Despite my oversharing, I really don’t want to talk about your toilet training.”
“It was incredibly easy. I taught myself. Or so my mother claims when she’s bragging.”
Veronica rolled her eyes.
He wasn’t quite sure if he should be offended. Well, he was sure that he should be, but there was something in her genuineness that had him off guard. And besides, he didn’t want to talk about himself. “I do understand, but I can’t say I don’t like hearing about you. I’ve always thought that the better communication is, the better everything else is.” He let his eyes drop to stare at her breasts through the thin T-shirt. Beneath his gaze her nipples grew tight, poking at the cloth.
She squirmed slightly, which was good, because his pants were growing increasingly uncomfortable.
Leaning forward, she said, “I do agree—as long as we’re talking about sex. I think that the more you communicate, the better it is. It’s why, despite what I may have made you think earlier, I’ve never been fond of one-night stands. So, should we talk about night two?”
Chapter 9
Veronica needed to get herself back under control, to get this evening headed in the right direction.
It was time to stop thinking about her emotions and start figuring out where she wanted this evening to end, about what might be coming in the next few minutes. Had she said enough to persuade him to continue their affair…relationship…hookup? Or had her oversharing scared him off?
Brian licked his lips, and it was far too easy to imagine that he was thinking about licking other places. No, he wasn’t scared off. His eyes told her that his thoughts were also quickly speeding to what should happen next.
He stared straight at her, filled with tension, but she could see that he was still holding back. “Is there anything else you want to say about how you see our relationship?”
And it was hard to think, although only a few minutes ago she’d at least known what she’d tell him, if not exactly what she actually wanted. “I want you, your body.”
He chuckled. “That part I understood, but tell me what our relationship would look like?”
Was he seriously asking that? That was not a male question. “Really?”
“My mother is the therapist. She taught me to always be sure I understand what the other person is saying, but I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding answering. What would it look like?”
Her mind filled with hot, steamy pictures. “Lots of sex.” She held up her hand to stop him. “I know that’s not the answer you’re looking for, but we both know it’s what we’re thinking about. I’m not going to pretend that it’s not what has us here, talking, right now. My mind is filled with the things I want to do to your body and the things I want you to do to me. Beyond that…” Her voice trailed off.
“I want you to be completely clear. I misjudged things the first time. I won’t the second. Give me a road map. Close your eyes and tell me what you see when you think of us.”
She followed his directions, felt heat rising in her cheeks. “To be honest, it is hard to get past all the things I want you to do to my body. When I close my eyes that’s what I see, but I’ll try. I imagine you coming over at the end of the day and spending a few hours. I expect you to be discreet when leaving, but I’m not asking you to sneak out. I’d probably be up for sharing casual meals.” She opened her eyes.
He exhaled, his eyes still clouded with thought. “I understand that, but are you sure? It still sounds kind of like you don’t want to be seen with me.”
That sounded awful, and it truly wasn’t quite what she meant. Why couldn’t she be better at expressing herself with him? She prided herself on her ability with words. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to clear her thoughts, wanting to make him understand. “In my ideal world, nobody would know. I admit that.” She looked back at him, held up her hand when he began to speak. “Please let me finish. I honestly don’t think it’s anybody’s business what we do. But before you get insulted, I feel that way about everybody I’ve ever gone out with. Even when I’ve dated men who should have seemed perfect, I’ve never been the one to share, never reached a point where I’ve really wanted to tell people about a relationship. Okay, maybe I’ve enjoyed a little gossip with the girls, but that’s different than wanting to be gossiped about. It’s truly not about you.”
“It still feels like it’s about me. I mean, what about your sister’s groom? Did you ever go out in public with him?”
Shit, she should have known he’d let that pass by too easily. At least she had the right answer. “Never here. Never in Forbidden Cove. I am not sure he ever even came here with me. We always stayed in the city.”
He didn’t answer, but kept staring at her.
“It’s the truth. There was never any reason to bring him here. It would have made it all a much bigger deal than it was. And I really mean that I hate being talked about.”
“Okay,” he said, although he still didn’t look sure. “I can understand not wanting to deal with gossip. I hate being talked about—particularly when the world is reading far more into a situation than is legitimately there. A date isn’t a marriage proposal. But that doesn’t mean I want to hide. I’m here for the passion—and the spontaneity. You’re kind of k
illing it.”
“You’re the one who wanted me to spell it all out.”
“It’s still a mood killer. I feel like you’re looking for a gigolo, not a date.”
She knew she’d paled at his words, felt her lips trembling. She hadn’t deserved that. There was a big difference between wanting to keep things private and…“Can I just want a friend I have sex with?”
“Friend? I don’t normally lay out rules with my friends.”
“But you asked me to. And you may have been right. I don’t want confusion.” This was not going at all the way she wanted.
He kept quiet, his gaze locked on her face, trying to read something in her. She wished she knew what he was looking for.
“Look, I’m not opposed to doing things together, but I’m normally exhausted when I get home and I don’t tend to go out here in Forbidden Cove anyway. It’s a large part of why I was so reluctant to get involved. I already don’t have time for my life right now—but I find you irresistible.” Had his eyes lightened a bit at that? “I admit that if there was a movie we both wanted to see and the timing was convenient, it would be silly not to go together, but it’s also been more than a year since I’ve gone out to a movie. I’m a Netflix girl, except for superheroes. There are some things that I like on the big screen.”
She saw him soften, the skin about his eyes relaxing. “A woman after my own heart. I’ve never understood going out when you can snuggle on the couch, drinking beer. I am clearly overacting because of how I felt when it seemed like you kicked me out. I’ll grant, however, that there may be some common ground we can work on.” He tilted his head up and stared at the ceiling.
Okay, she was willing to work. A knot in her chest loosened. “There is great attraction to cuddling up with you and watching a movie. I like to do that after a long day, when I’m too tired to think. I’ve never actually contemplated doing it with someone.”