by KB Benson
I try to stand tall, try to stand strong, but my heart breaks knowing he’s forcing me to abandon my love for the ocean because of my actions with Cadencia. My eyes burn with tears. No matter how unjustified his punishment is, no one can contest it. I blink away the tears. I cannot show weakness around Damion—that will only get me into more trouble.
The absolute most important action a siren can do is to return home with her prey. Mine escaped as I tried to save Cadencia. In Damion’s eyes, that is a weakness our clan cannot afford from a sentry. He does not care if a life, or a hundred lives, are sacrificed as long as it is done in the name of the clan.
I try to control my angry, frustrated, and panicked thoughts; but there’s only one thing I can think as Damion rebukes me and strips me of my title as a sentry: “You only desire bloodlust. You do not care if it is a human who dies or a siren, as long as blood fills your ocean.”
I keep my face wiped clean of any emotion—emotion is for the humans, not sirens—despite the hateful thoughts that course through my brain. Damion rarely gives second chances to those who fail—even to my own mother, his wife, he showed no mercy.
Knowing my mother’s fate, when Damion had given me a second chance, I jumped to take it even if it removed me from the waves. I don’t know why he decided to show mercy, but I’m sure it will not happen again. Although he accepted my agreement to bring him two humans instead of Jace, I have a strange feeling something’s not right.
After Italy, we abandoned our territory and came to the coast of California passing through the Atlantic Ocean. We spent centuries underwater, surviving on the repulsive taste of fish, letting sirens sink into myth once again.
Before sending me to the California shore, Damion had taken away the ocean, my shimmering tail, and all physical reminders on my body that marked me as part of the clan. All reminders except for my scales that appear with water and a scar on the back of my neck reminding me I was a traitor, that I was unwanted, that I deserved to be miserable for eternity. California was my first experience as the seeker. How could Damion expect me to succeed? I wasn’t prepared in the slightest for meeting Jace. I wasn’t prepared to fall in love. It’s not surprising, though, since I’d never been exposed to humans this way before. I only ever knew them as food for our harvest, never as beings I could connect with.
“I’m not the same as the rest of them,” I whisper. “I’m different.”
Lights flicker on and off over the stage, warning the audience they have five minutes to take their seats. At the edge of the curtain covering the stage, I can barely see the silhouette of a person emerging from the darkness. The moment light touches his smiling face my heart swells.
“I am definitely different,” I mutter. “And there is nothing out there like me.”
Chapter 28
IRIS
As Jace takes his seat on the stage and slides his guitar strap over his head, I vaguely notice a person sit in the empty seat next to me. Colorful lights dance across Jace’s body as the lighting technicians play with their buttons and knobs. I watch Jace, unable to look away. Eerily, the colorful lights blanket Jace in a facade of water—suddenly my two vices have become one, and it’s all I can do not to run to him. This, combined with the fact that he always smells like the ocean, makes my blood pulse through my body like fire.
Jace glances in my direction. I’m not entirely sure he can see me beyond the glaring lights aimed at him, but he smiles a soft smile I know is meant for me.
“I wrote this song for someone very special to me.” Jace’s voice booms over the microphone. “She has inspired me, she has held me together, and she has completely captured every part of me. This song is for you, Iris.”
Although I try, I can’t wipe off the smile that has recently become so common on my face. I remember back when I never smiled, back when my life was a series of hiding in the darkness of the dock and surfacing for the Harvest moon to find a body to reap. I shudder at the thought.
Someone clears his throat next to me just as Jace strums his first chord. I glance at the person at my side before returning to watch Jace. I do a double-take: Jaxon.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss, afraid of missing Jace’s performance, afraid of what Jaxon’s presence next to me means.
Jaxon shrugs. He stares at me with that glassy-eyed look I know all too well. Jace had it once—could it really have just been a few days ago? All of the boys get it—the stare that says, ‘I am yours. Do with me what you will.’ It’s the stare that leads them to their fate in the cruel ocean.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper, facing Jace again.
Jaxon sits quietly next to me. Although I keep my focus on Jace, I can feel Jaxon’s stare on me. I ignore him. I watch Jace, memorizing every motion of his body—his wrists and fingers dancing over the strings on his guitar, the muscles in his throat expanding and contracting as each note escapes his imperfect lips. This is his song for me.
His voice envelopes me; and I’m thrown me into a thousand memories of stealing secret glances at him in class, his body pressed against mine at his house or under a tree, his coarse fingertips gently wiping away the silent tears escaping down my cheeks. I take a deep breath and I swear I can smell the ocean’s spray that always clings to his skin. It’s that smell—his smell—that tells me what I have to do. I don’t want to be a murderer—a monster—but I can’t lose him.
As Jace’s song ends, I break my focus and stare at my hands, nervously wringing in my lap. I’ve never been nervous to kill before. The usual flawless skin on my hands spreads across my bones in a tangle of cracks, each one burning a bit as my fingers trace over them. It’s already happening. My body is drying up—when a siren’s song is sung, someone must die. If it’s not the prey, it’s the siren. I stare at the cracks which deepen with each passing minute; I feel as though my lungs are collapsing.
I can’t breathe.
I am dying.
Panicking, I look at Jace as he waves and bows to the audience before carrying his guitar off stage. My heart beats wildly with each strangled breath. Fire sets within me, burning my lungs as the air touches them. With a single thought, the raging fire snuffs out, and a cool pressure takes its place.
You know what to do, Iris, the voice says inside me. You already know what to do; after all, it’s who you are—a siren.
I look at Jaxon, letting a seductive smile spread across my face. Innocently, I ask, “Jaxon?”
“Yeah?” Too much excitement drips from the one little word.
“Do you want to get out of here and maybe go to the beach?”
Jaxon nods and is out of his seat in half a second, giving me his hand to help me out of mine. Between Jace’s act and the kid squirting milk from his eye, Jaxon and I slip through the darkness and out of the auditorium doors.
The beach is overcrowded—at least more crowded than I like. Harvesting when conditions are less than ideal is like nails on a chalkboard and makes me cringe. I can still finish the task, but it’s not as enjoyable. Although I don’t think today will be enjoyable no matter the conditions of the beach. I try not to look at Jaxon as our toes dig through the sand near the edge of the water. A few times I can’t help but catch a glimpse of him: his dark hair shining in the sun, his light green eyes shimmering wide. I look to the sand again each time.
I lead us across the beach toward the south end. Children build sandcastles with their parents, women tan on the sand like burnt hotdogs, lovers squeal as waves burst in a rush toward them; but no one will look toward the abandoned edge of the beach for a boy and a girl alone. They’ll all think we’re up to no good and leave us be.
As we walk—mine more of a stomp—through the sand, guilt gnaws at my insides. I can’t do this. I am different. I have to be different. But I can’t let Jace die, and I can’t die. It’s in my nature to survive. I bite my lip, drawing blood from the subtle wound. We’ve reached the south end of the beach.
A gentle breeze pulls my hair away from m
y shoulders, throwing it into a stream of curls behind me. Putting my hands on my hips, I stare out at the ocean, knowing my family will be there waiting.
Jaxon stands next to me, completely hypnotized.
“Well?” I ask with a deep breath. “Shall we?” I nod my head toward the ocean as I undo the button on my shorts and lower them to the sand. Jaxon stares at me for a second before he starts removing his clothes, too. I pull my top over my head and turn to face the ocean again—rolling waves gently cascading to the shore. It looks so peaceful; it looks so welcoming. I guess for me it is.
I take a small step across the threshold that separates the dry sand from the wet. The cold particles wrap themselves around my toes before a wave sweeps up across them washing the sand away. I can’t help it; I give in to the pull. My heart is chained to the ocean; and, although the fetter doesn’t feel as strong, it’s no less empowering and desirable than it was before. Unwillingly, I turn my back on the ocean to face Jaxon. I wish I’d just gotten this over with the other day at the cave.
Jaxon’s mother flashes through my memory. Just as quickly as the thought comes, I shake it from my head. “C’mon, Jaxon.”
I retreat into the water, the cold tingle of the ocean forming shimmering scales across my body wherever it touches. This is the one piece of the ocean I will always get to keep with me—Damion cannot take away my scales when I’m in the water.
The cool waves brush against my stomach now, and Jaxon still sits on the shore. Excitement ripples through the water. My clan is here. My clan is waiting. I smile at Jaxon, a seductive, exotic smile I know he won’t be able to resist. My hair hangs long across my body as I glance at him over my shoulder and beckon him to take that one little step into the water.
And he does.
The energy within the waves amplifies the moment his skin makes contact with the ocean. He pulls himself across the surface of the water toward me with long, hard strokes while I casually drift farther from the shore. We’re almost there, almost to the feeding grounds. I don’t break eye contact from Jaxon, I don’t think about what a monster I am, I only think about the task at hand: get Jaxon to the center of the feeding grounds and swim away.
A piercing shriek erupts across the waves and cuts through my thoughts.
“Stop! Stop swimming!” The shout breaks out from the shore. “Quick, get out of the water! There is something in the water!”
Normally I’d dismiss the beach’s usual commotion, but this cry is different. This cry is for us. Confused, I lean my head to the side, looking past Jaxon toward the shore. Standing on the edge of the ocean a stout woman—looking much like a teapot wearing a sundress—waves her arms frantically. I’m not sure why she’s yelling—nothing has happened yet. I shake the nerves from my hands under the water—why am I scared? I choose to ignore the woman’s childish squeals; and I focus my attention back on Jaxon, pulling him toward the feeding grounds.
I know the feeding grounds will be too far for the woman on shore to see clearly what’s happening. After Italy, Damion made sure the seeker doesn’t ever drag the prey under the waves where the humans can easily attack.
Iris, my thoughts press, faster. Kill him faster. The guilt wells inside of me. Can I really go through with this? Can I really kill this innocent boy for my own selfish desires?
Yes.
I shake my head. “No,” I whisper.
Yes. You’re a siren; that’s what you do. It is in you to survive; you must survive at all costs. Jaxon is the cost.
My thoughts distract me from Jaxon, but I still feel the pull silently tow him toward the feeding grounds. He won’t escape—we’re too close for him to do that now. Just before we reach the grounds, a blood curdling scream explodes into the air. I whip around and stare at Jaxon—he floats unharmed next to me.
“What the—?” I whisper, confused.
Jaxon stares at me completely hypnotized like before, not having heard the bone-grating scream. I scan the waters. Jaxon is the only one the clan should be feasting on.
And all at once I see it. The beach erupts into chaos as boys and girls alike lurch themselves from every corner of the shore, fully-clothed, into the water. I watch in horror as their hypnotized bodies get sucked under the waves the moment their feet leave the shelf. Their screams of eagerness disappear in seconds as they are dragged to the feast below. Crowds of beach-goers, who followed the mass throng now throwing themselves into the water, shout for these soon-to-be victims to return to safety. A few people grab onto arms only to have the boys and girls yank their appendages out of the people’s grasps and follow me to their deaths.
For a moment I see Italy all over again—the people, they know.
I completely forget about Jaxon. How is this happening? How are all these people caught in my song? I didn’t sing it for any of them. And why is my family attacking outside of the feeding ground? It doesn’t make any sense.
I can’t tell how many hypnotized there are. Fifty? A hundred? They just keep spilling into the water. I put my hands on my head as body after body are sucked under right in front of me—what am I going to do? Without a second thought, I latch my hand around Jaxon’s arm and drag him back toward the shore. If my family won’t abide by our laws, neither will I.
My arm clutches Jaxon’s bicep as I furiously swim inland. If I can just get myself out of the water, the others will follow me back onto land. I don’t know what this mess is, but I can’t let them all die for it. I push myself through the waves, towing Jaxon behind me. All of a sudden Jaxon’s arm rips from my grasp as he’s pulled under the chaotic swells.
I don’t think twice before diving beneath the waves. If my clan is attacking outside of the feeding grounds, then something’s going on. And that something tells me Damion could care less about saving Jace’s life or my own.
I swim below the turmoil to where the sun no longer reaches and the ocean turns black. I will not let Jaxon die in this massacre. It’s dark, but I don’t need to rely on my eyes. Scales sparkle across my entire body giving me an added advantage to swimming through the midnight ocean. My scales attract prey, like raccoons who can’t avoid shiny objects; but more importantly, they allow me to see under the water by collecting and feeling even the smallest of movements. Despite the blackness, I see everything. Hundreds of sirens float above me, the sparkle of their scales catching the sunlight and spreading it throughout the water.
I close my eyes to better focus on the sway of the ocean. My tiny scales shiver as ripples carry subtle movements toward me. Piece by piece the scene unfolds. Hundreds of sirens sink gracefully in every direction, slipping into the deepest chasms with prey in tow. I’m reminded just how many of us there are. This is my Hell.
Panic swells in my chest—where do I start? There’s no way I can save them all. With each passing second another human dies. I take a deep breath and pull myself through the water. As I swim, the scene changes and I witness even more innocent humans succumbing to their deaths. The happy, giddy smiles slapped on each face is like a knife to my heart. At least those who die will die happy. I contemplate stopping to save each victim I pass, but I know I only have one chance. And I search for Jaxon.
None of the sirens pay me any attention; none of them care at this exact moment I have been banned as a traitor from my home this deep in the ocean. They don’t notice me yet. If I find Jaxon, however, chaos will erupt.
I push through the cool waves—refreshing, revitalizing, and painful. A slow burn creeps along my skin but I force it to the back of my mind. Within the ocean, I can breathe again. Ever since Damion forced me to serve on land as the seeker, a crushing weight has stoned my entire being. The lack of ocean water to inflate my lungs was almost enough to make them explode—almost enough, but not quite to put me out of my suffocating misery. That would’ve been too merciful for Damion.
For a moment I forget about the battle raging around me and I surrender to the ocean, the insatiable pull I have felt for so long disappears. Maybe I can just
stay here forever, floating in the abyss by myself with no worry of Damion, of love, of murder. Just alone. The idea is intoxicating: remove all the stresses and let me just be.
The images of the slaughter around me fade as I float, swaying with the movement of the ocean. I sigh, this is perfect. The scenes around me blur into blackness when a familiar face appears amongst the murky images. The recognition of his face catches my attention, and I can’t help but put a hold on my relaxing solitude.
“Jaxon.” My thoughts melt with relief. I refocus on the ocean, pulling in the movements through my scales and the scenes spark to life once more.
It’s Asthen. She has Jaxon. I open my eyes, knowing exactly where to go. I dart after her as she slowly drags him into the seemingly bottomless ocean, oblivious of me. Ever since we were children, Asthen’s never been able to work her scales quite right—she has a blind spot. And I plan to use it.
As they sink deeper, I brush a hand softly across Jaxon’s head. He turns his face up and his eyes sparkle and his smile widens when he sees me; after all, it was my song he heard. My heart relaxes a touch. Thank goodness he’s not dead yet.
Jaxon squirms in Asthen’s grasp around his ankle, her red hair floating around him like fire.
Asthen, I call out to my sister through my thoughts. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to speak this way, and it feels odd letting her back into my mind. Inter-telepathy is the easiest way for us to communicate underwater, though.
She stops her descent and spins to face me. I can’t tell if it’s anger or fear that crosses her face, either way she isn’t thrilled to see me.
Sister, what’s happening?
Her red eyebrows furrow. We are taking our fill, of course, she says, the high-pitched, sweet sound of her voice clearly emanating through her thoughts, her sentence hissing to a close with disgust.
Why? You’re using up the supply, and the humans are aware of us now.
A sly smile spreads across Asthen’s face. No. The humans are aware of you; the rest of us will be long gone before anyone even understands what’s happening.