by Jamey Moody
“The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone and I’m afraid that’s what I’m going to do.”
“Frankie,” Olivia took her hand and couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “I hate seeing you like this. I think I should back away so you can see if you have anything left with Laura. By the way, she’s stunning and I could see how much she loves you.”
“Is that what you want? To back away.”
“No, but if I did then maybe it would be easier.”
Frankie held onto Olivia’s hand, looking in her eyes not saying anything.
Olivia looked down, “Besides, the class is over, so we won’t see one another then.”
“What about our bike rides. Do you not want to ride with me anymore?”
Olivia looked up, “Of course I want to ride with you.” She reached up and cupped the side of Frankie’s face, “But I don’t want us to get down the road and you ask, ‘what if’ about Laura. You know that could happen and everyone would be hurt.”
Frankie had tears in her eyes. “I hear what you’re saying and if it’s the best thing to do why does it hurt?”
Olivia looked at Frankie with a sad smile, “Look, work is getting crazy again and I’m training for the triathlon. Let’s try to ride one day on the weekend like we’ve been doing.”
Frankie looked panicked, “You’re still coming to the gym, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I’m still going to lift two days a week. But Frankie, won’t that make it hard, seeing one another?”
“I don’t care. I have to see you and know you’re okay.”
“You will. I’m still doing yoga with Stella, too.” Olivia paused then added, “And Frankie, I’m your friend. If you need me, I’m here.”
Frankie nodded, “I’m here for you too. Don’t hesitate if you need me Olivia.”
Olivia sat next to Frankie straightening her legs and looking out over the water. She held Frankie’s hand with both of hers and put her head on her shoulder. They stayed like that as the sun set. Frankie drove them back and pulled up next to Olivia’s car and rolled her window down.
Olivia walked around the car and was reminded of the day Frankie brought her the smoothie. When she backed out of the driveway that day, Olivia had wished she’d kissed her. This time she looked down into Frankie’s eyes and leaned over, she gently placed her lips on hers. The soft kiss begged to be deepened, but Olivia pulled away, instantly missing the feel of Frankie’s lips.
Frankie grabbed Olivia’s hand, stopping her from walking away. She placed her lips on the back of Olivia’s hand and then pulled it to her cheek closing her eyes. She let out a breath she’d been holding and said, “Text me when you want to ride this weekend.”
Olivia said softly, “Okay.” Then she got in her car and drove away, her heart breaking.
***
It rained all weekend so Olivia did not get to ride with Frankie. She laughed at the twist of fate that kept them apart all week and seemed to continue. There was a hole in her heart from her last conversation with Frankie. She’d had no intention of backing away from Frankie unless she had asked her to. But while talking to her, it became apparent that was what she needed to do. Olivia was good at hiding things from herself, she’d known she was falling for Frankie, but told herself she was being silly. The loss and pain she felt all weekend was anything but silly. She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t think she felt this bad when Beth left and they’d lived together.
She’d always heard you don’t choose who you fall in love with, but she'd chosen Frankie. If anything, she tried to talk herself out of it using her awful self-image belief when she first came to Your Way. But slowly, her confidence began to return and that awakened her spirit thanks to Stella and Sofia and even her job. But mostly Frankie was responsible because she made her feel good enough again. And the most amazing part to Olivia was that she didn’t really say anything, it was just how Frankie made her feel.
Now as she got ready for work, she looked in the mirror and said aloud, “What were you thinking? Why would you walk away from what could’ve been your happily ever after?” She continued to stare and tears once again pooled in her eyes. Deep down she believed this was the right thing to do, but would she be the one asking “what if” someday? She shook her head, “God, I hope not.”
She had to work at the site today and normally she loved it, but today all she could think about was Frankie. As she drove by the house they looked through, she could still see them on the porch having dinner and feel the kiss they shared on the patio. She felt Frankie’s hand in hers as they walked the neighborhood and remembered the stillness of the night and the smell of the sweet night air.
Shaking herself from the memories, she noticed her boss’ car in the driveway. Olivia wasn’t expecting her to be here, this was odd. When she went in the house, the site manager and Elizabeth were in conversation.
“Good morning, Olivia,” Elizabeth said as she closed the door.
“Good morning. I didn’t know you were going to be here today.”
“I wanted to talk to you and didn’t want to drag you away when I knew you needed to be here today to meet clients.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Brian said we could use his office because he’s going to one of the new constructions this morning.”
“I’ll leave you to it. Olivia, I’ll be back later to talk changes with you.”
“Great,” Olivia said half-heartedly.
“They’re not bad this time, I promise. See you, Elizabeth.” Brian left and they went into the office.
“How was your weekend?” Elizabeth asked.
“Uh, it wasn’t the best,” she said truthfully.
“I’m sorry. The rain kind of messed it up for a lot of people I think.” Elizabeth walked to the couch and sat down.
Olivia nodded, taking a seat on the chair opposite her.
“I’ve been so pleased with the work you’re doing Olivia. And the way you handled those anxious clients the other day was impressive.”
“Thanks, sometimes that’s part of the process.”
“It is, but you handled it better than most. You’re aware that we’re developing another subdivision very similar to this one in the Houston area?”
“I am.”
“Well, they are experiencing some of the same problems that have come up here.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and the architect’s approach isn’t, let’s say, as gracious as yours.”
Olivia didn’t know why Elizabeth would be sharing this so she patiently waited.
“What I’m getting at is that I’d like you to go down there and work with them and show them how you’re doing it here.”
Olivia was surprised. She rarely traveled for work in the middle of a project. “If I do that, what about issues that arise here? Because you know there will be more.”
“I know and I’ll take care of them.”
Olivia studied Elizabeth, she didn’t really deal with clients so this was unusual for her. “You’ll take care of them? I didn’t think you did that anymore.”
“You’re right, I don’t, but this is a special case.”
“Special?”
“Yes, to be honest Olivia, the Houston deal is falling apart, and I know you can save it.”
Olivia’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Save it?”
“Don’t look so surprised. You are great at what you do and yes, you can save it. I should’ve sent you down there a month ago, but I gave them a chance to straighten things out and they didn’t.”
“So when would I leave?”
“I want you to get things lined out here this week and then be there next Monday.”
“Wow, do you have any idea how long you want me down there?”
“Hopefully, I can keep things going here so you won’t have to worry about that. I want you to focus on Houston. So, two weeks, maybe more.”
Olivia let the idea run through her, maybe two weeks away wouldn’t be such
a bad idea right now. She loved this project but surely it would be okay for two weeks. And the faith Elizabeth had in her was a bit daunting but also encouraging.
“Why don’t you think about it and let me know later.”
Olivia shook her head, “No, if you need me to go, I will. I’m just not sure about saving the project as you said.”
Elizabeth smiled, “Thanks Olivia, I know you can do this.”
Olivia smiled back, “Okay then, I’ll get things together and go over it with you at the end of the week.”
“Sounds good,” Elizabeth said, getting up.
***
“Do you want me to hang around and help you close tonight?”
“No Des, I got it, you go on home.”
“You know, I can’t decide if Laura calling off this wedding was a good thing or a bad thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were really sad when she broke up with you but now, I think you’re worse. Shouldn’t you be happy? Aren’t you working things out?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. Laura and I went out Saturday night. It was strange. I mean, there was awkwardness at first but that passed somewhat. She was trying so hard to make sure I was having a good time. It all felt forced.”
“Forced by you or her?”
“By me. She didn’t do anything wrong, I just have a lot to get past, I guess.”
“Can you? Get past it?”
“I don’t know. I think that’s what we’re trying to find out?”
“Do you want to get past it?”
“What?
“Maybe you don’t want to. Maybe you have moved on or want to move on with Olivia.”
Frankie sighed. Just the mention of Olivia’s name made her heart speed up. She missed her this weekend. They texted a couple of times to ride but couldn’t because of the rain.
“Did you talk to Olivia earlier?”
“Is she here?”
“You didn’t see her come in? I think she’s in the gym playing volleyball.”
“Playing volleyball? Maybe she’s doing that since our class is over.”
“I think she was playing with Veronica and her group.”
Frankie thought about this, Veronica was in the group that met after their strength class. Olivia said Stacy used to hit on her but she never mentioned Veronica. Why did she feel a pang of jealousy?
“Are you okay?”
Desi’s question brought Frankie out of her thoughts. “Yeah, why?”
“Your face is getting red.” Desi said thinking she was mad or, “Hey, are you jealous?”
“What!” Frankie tried to defend herself.
Desi smiled putting up her hands, “Calm down, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Frankie looked away and got up from her desk, “I’m going to pick up towels and straighten up before I close. See you tomorrow.”
Desi watched her go, thinking Olivia King might be the one Frankie couldn’t get past on her way back to Laura.
Frankie cleaned up the weight area and picked up a few towels from the treadmills. The workout room was picked up but she wiped down the spin bikes so they would be ready for class in the morning. She walked through the dressing rooms and picked up a few more towels and put them in the hamper to be added to the first load of laundry tomorrow.
As she walked into the gym, the familiar sound of shoes squeaking on the floor met her along with the pungent odor of sweat mixed with shouts, cries, and laughter. This was her favorite place in Your Way. The assault on her senses usually led to fun and happiness either with a basketball or volleyball.
On the near end of the gym a small group was shooting baskets and on the far end a volleyball game was in progress. Her eyes immediately found Olivia. The ball came to her and she easily set it to Veronica to slam for a point. They high fived as the ball found the floor. The smile on Olivia’s face lit up the gym, but when she saw Frankie it grew even brighter and she waved. As Frankie returned the wave Veronica grabbed Olivia around the waist pulling her back into the game. There went that pang of jealousy again.
Frankie gathered stray balls laying on the floor and put them in the racks. The basketball group finished up, adding their balls and left the gym. She walked to the end of the gym to make sure the other door was locked as the volleyball game ended. Olivia walked over to the stands with her team to get her bag and looked around until she spotted Frankie walking toward her.
Veronica put her arm around Olivia’s neck, “Thanks for filling in, you were great!”
Olivia turned to her, “It was fun! I didn’t know how much I’d missed playing until we started.”
“You are welcome anytime, I’ll text you our schedule. Next game is Thursday.”
“Ok.”
“Hey Frankie, when are you going to play with us again?” Veronica said, seeing her walk up.
“Let me know when you need a sub.”
“I think we’ve found us a ringer,” she said, putting her arm around Olivia again, making Frankie uncomfortable.
“Not hardly, but it was fun.”
The group said their goodbyes and started out of the gym.
Olivia turned to Frankie, “Have you got a minute?”
“Always for you.”
Olivia smiled. “I’m going to be out of town on work for a couple of weeks. I’m not sure why, but I thought you should know.”
“Oh,” Frankie said. “Out of town, where are you going?”
“Houston. There’s a project very similar to the one here that’s having trouble.”
Frankie nodded her head, “So they’re sending you down there to straighten them out.”
Olivia looked at Frankie, chuckling at her choice of words. “I guess you could say that.”
“How long? A couple of weeks?”
“I hope that’s all it will take. I don’t usually travel for work so this is unusual.”
Frankie looked at Olivia earnestly and quietly said, “I’ll miss you. I’ve missed you.”
This was harder than she thought, “I’ll miss you too.” She swallowed hard, then forced a smile, lightening the moment, “Keep an eye on the subdivision for me. My boss is supposed to be looking after things, but I don’t know if I can trust her.”
This made Frankie smile, “I will. What about the triathlon and your training?”
“I’m staying at a place with a good fitness center so I can keep training. I won’t be doing anything else but working so I should have plenty of time.”
“When do you leave?”
“I have this week to get everything ready here, then I’ll be there Monday.”
“Will you have time for a ride this week?”
They started walking to the front of the building, “You’ll have to let me see, at this point I may have to work short rides in during the day.”
“I’ll see you again before you leave, won’t I?”
“Frankie…maybe this will be good. I won’t be around and you’ll have time with Laura.”
Frankie looked away shaking her head. “Please come by before you leave.”
“I will. I have a volleyball game Thursday. I’ll find you.” She opened the front door, stepping out. Frankie watched her walk to her car. When she got in Frankie waved with a sad smile on her face. If it hurts so bad to see her leave, how can this be the right thing to do? Frankie shook her head sadly.
***
Olivia sat on her patio with Sofia, sharing a bottle of wine. She couldn’t believe it was already Friday. This week at work had been challenging, getting everything ready for Elizabeth to take over while she was gone. She couldn’t help thinking this was some kind of test; Elizabeth hadn’t said anything, but they were having dinner Saturday night, so hopefully she would get the information then.
“Why the serious look?”
“I was just thinking about this whole trip. I think there’s something Elizabeth isn’t telling me.”
“Like what?”
“That’s jus
t it, I don’t know.”
“Maybe she’s going to give you your own project, finally.”
“I don’t know about that. Maybe she’ll tell me tomorrow night. We’re supposed to have dinner.”
“So, are you seeing Frankie before you leave?”
“No. I saw her last night after my volleyball game. Hey, you should play. I remember how good you were when you played on that team with the girl you were trying to date. What was her name?”
“It doesn’t matter, she was more interested in the coach.”
Olivia laughed, “Oh yeah, I remember that now. But still, when I get back, I’ll tell Veronica. It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll think about it. So, what happened with Frankie?”
Olivia sighed, “It’s so strange, she was actually sad I was leaving. And I already miss her.”
“It’s not strange. You two don’t see it. You’re in love.”
“What! Love? She’s getting back with her ex.”
“No she’s not. I’m not sure you’ve done the right thing here, Olivia. It’s obvious she’s into you and I know how you feel.”
“But—”
Sofia interrupted her, “I know, I know, you have to give her a chance to see if there’s anything left with the ex. But does that mean you aren’t willing to fight for her?”
“Not at all. I’m trying to keep us both from getting hurt.”
“And how's that going? Looks to me like both of you are hurting.”
Olivia topped off their glasses and didn’t say anything.
“Have you talked to Stella?”
“About?”
“Duh, about Frankie.”
“No. Stella is one of her best friends, Sof. I’m not going to ask her about Frankie. Besides, what would I ask her?”
“I just thought she might know if Frankie and Laura have been going out. How it’s going.”
“I’m sure they have been. I don’t want to know.”
“Look Olivia, if you insist on this ‘give them time’ thing, then you should go to Houston and forget all about this. Have some fun.”
“Have some fun? I’m going for work.”