* * *
Putting out the welcome sign, offering a smile, or using a #hashtag that lets other users know you have prioritized their well-being can absolutely make a huge difference. How we treat others on social media, of course, has a corollary in real life. Just showing a little compassion is one of those small acts of great kindness that can change someone else’s life—and costs nothing to give.
* * *
30
PLANTING SEEDS OF CHANGE IN SOUTH TEXAS
MARK YOUNG
With more than three hundred thousand people, Corpus Christi is one of the larger cities in Texas, yet it offers few resources or outlets for the LGBTQ+ community—especially its younger members. In general, South Texas isn’t necessarily known for its inclusive spaces. In recent times, though, a Corpus Christi youth group is looking to change that.
Youth Network Out Together, also known as YNOT, is a local LGBTQ+ youth group formed to help create the same kind of opportunities to LGBTQ+ youth for connection and belonging that are available to straight youth. With funding from the Elton John AIDS Foundation, YNOT is hosted by the Coastal Bend Wellness Foundation—whose Pride center coordinator, Angie Baker, said she is excited to see a group for young people plant seeds for change and growth in the area.
Angie: “My goal is to make sure that young LGBTQ+ people have access to resources, like health resources, housing, therapy, and more. YNOT currently offers a space for local youth to come and get these resources while having other people to talk to.”
YNOT is open to anyone ages thirteen to twenty-four. It offers teens and young adults a safe space to gather, with educational days, games and activities, and community events. In addition to including members in Corpus Christi’s annual Pride parades and special events, YNOT created its own LGBTQ+ youth prom—a much anticipated and well-attended event.
Still growing, YNOT has become a kind of family home base that has made a significant difference in the lives of members, often in different ways. Sam Legendre-Davis, twenty-one, a member from the start, likes the social aspects of the group, while Zephyr Reames-Zepeda, twenty-three, joined so he could be more of a role model to younger members and play a role as a community activist. Andy Fergal saw the group as a means of achieving higher visibility for himself and other young people living in the shadows or feeling unsafe about coming out as LGBTQ+.
Here they describe why YNOT matters to each of them.
Sam: “There aren’t a lot of places in Corpus that have safe LGBTQ+ places for people under the age of twenty-one. YNOT has been a great place to meet people and be in an accepting environment.”
Zephyr: “I joined when I came back to Corpus Christi after college and learned about the group during a trans-alliance meeting, I was never really an activist until my boyfriend committed suicide. He was an activist and opened my eyes to the crisis that LGBTQ+ people face.”
Andy: “I didn’t feel like I saw myself in the community, so I joined this group after hearing about it in a trans support group. This group allows kids to be kids and express themselves how they want to, which they aren’t always able to at home or at school.”
Zephyr: “This group helps young kids see successful older adults who have gone through the struggles of growing up and going to school. And shows them that life can be good and lets me be a role model.”
Whether through Pride events, parades, proms, block parties, or in safe group gatherings, YNOT has already changed the landscape of South Texas—putting down roots in the community and offering shelter, resources, kindness, and strength.
Mark’s story sheds light on how important it is to find your community. I believe that everyone should be embraced for who they are, exactly as they are, and I couldn’t be more grateful for safe spaces like Youth Network Out Together that encourage acceptance and self-love. To learn more about the YNOT program, visit the Coastal Bend Wellness Foundation or the Elton John AIDS Foundation. If you identify as LGBTQ+ and are in need of a safe, confidential, and judgment-free place to express yourself, contact the Trevor Lifeline today.
31
EVIDENCE-BASED KINDNESS IN INDIANA
TAYLOR M. PARKER
There’s a saying that if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
In Indianapolis, an LGBTQ+ youth center called Indiana Youth Group has leaped into the forefront of finding a solution to the growing problem of self-harm for LGBTQ+ youth, who are disproportionately and alarmingly at risk. It’s become increasingly clear that the risk is amplified in environments that may be typically discouraging or unwelcoming of LGBTQ+ identities. To improve those environments and stem this rising tide, Indiana Youth Group has developed an evidence-based prevention program that is for at-risk youth across the Midwest.
The cost-free program, called THRIVE: Dare to Be Powerful, focuses on LGBTQ+ youth ages twelve to twenty, providing them with coping skills and encouragement. THRIVE came about after Indiana Youth Group staff discovered that there were no evidence-based suicide prevention programs to use as models that centered on LGBTQ+ youth.
“Evidence-based” means that there is a body of scientific evidence and research being used to guide the practices of a program—as opposed to relying on anecdotal evidence, tradition, intuition, or methods that are unproven or unstudied. In the life-and-death arena of suicide prevention, evidence-based solutions save lives and provide guidelines for the best possible practices and outcomes.
“There were incredible resources, and wonderful work being done,” explains the staff at Indiana Youth Group, but the curriculum that was chosen—Coping and Support Training—had the main advantage of being evidence-based, along with its focus on mood management and drug use control.
THRIVE participants have had impressive, measurable benefits, including:
decreased symptoms of depression
increased self-esteem
looking forward to and planning for the future
developing positive coping skills
feelings of connectedness to the LGBTQ+ community
making friends
Kyle Casteel, an Indiana Youth Group alumnus, said that THRIVE is “a very transformational service that doesn’t get as much attention. Rates of suicide are so high, and LGBTQ+ young people are especially at risk. This program is something that has been impactful to me personally, so I really see the value in that kind of work … When my peer group lost a close friend to suicide, the Indiana Youth Group youth workers went out of their way to make sure I was doing okay. It’s that kind of relationship-based work that makes Indiana Youth Group different than other organizations and so important to the community.”
Casteel feels that THRIVE is urgently needed for youth in areas of the country that are not as historically and publicly accepting of them. Solutions that work, he believes, are necessary. “LGBTQ+ young people want for so much, especially in our state,” Casteel says. No organization or program is perfect, but Indiana Youth Group is offering real solutions. He goes on, “Anyone ready and willing to engage in the hard work it takes to provide our young people with the things they need deserves recognition for that.”
Indiana Youth Group’s self-harm prevention program is a perfect example of how to assist, encourage, and foster growth in LGBTQ+ youth while promoting safety and community. This program is not standing alone, as Indiana Youth Group has many more programs to keep LGBTQ+ members involved in their communities.
More than anything, Casteel sees the youth-facing staff as a critical component. Their kindness is obvious in all they do. He adds, “They’re some of the hardest-working people in their fields, and they are there to help youth get the support they need. Every youth is different, so everyone should know there’s no question the folks at Indiana Youth Group won’t try to help you work through.”
His experience of THRIVE’s success is both personal and evidence-based. Problems do have solutions if they are pursued with intention, courage, and a commitment to those they will mo
st impact.
Every LGBTQ+ person deserves to have the resources they need not only to survive, but to thrive, and I commend Taylor for highlighting one of the local resources that takes care of the mental and physical health of our young people. Our team at Born This Way Foundation was so proud to visit the Indiana Youth Group, and it truly is an amazing, evidence-based example of kindness. To learn more about Thrive and how you can help the young people, check out Indiana Youth Group, and if you identify as LGBTQ+ and you’re struggling to find resources near you, please visit the LGBT National Help Center.
32
TIM SHRIVER AND SPECIAL OLYMPICS
HANNA ATKINSON
“Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.”
These words were spoken by the sister of former US president John F. Kennedy, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, and are known as the oath of Special Olympics—which Eunice founded in honor of their sister, Rosemary, who had a cognitive challenge. Special Olympics, more than any other organization, has dramatically changed how people with disabilities are viewed in this country and around the world.
Not long ago, I had the privilege of interviewing Tim Shriver, Eunice’s son, who is chairman of Special Olympics and a special friend of mine. He feels the oath is at the heart of the movement inspired by his aunt Rosemary and founded by his mother. Tim says the oath captures the best values of athletic competition, too: determination, grit, bravery, courage, camaraderie, friendship, and joy. Tim believes the best way to spread those values is by including everyone in the Special Olympics movement.
Q: Why did you choose to carry on with Special Olympics as your life’s work?
A: It’s the most important thing in the world, to include others. It makes me feel like I am contributing something impactful to the world.
Q: Tell me about a Special Olympics athlete who has had a huge impact on your life and why.
A: Loretta Claiborne. She taught me that lessons in simplicity and openness are where the truth is. She understands the world with an open heart and simplicity.
From Loretta’s biography as a member of the Board of Directors of Special Olympics: Chief Inspiration Officer; Vice Chair, Board of Directors
Claiborne is a world-class runner and gifted motivational speaker who happens to also be a Special Olympics athlete and a person who has an intellectual disability. She has received two honorary doctorate degrees (Quinnipiac University in 1995 and Villanova University in 2003); completed 26 marathons (she finished in the top 100 women of the Boston Marathon with her best time 3:03); received the 1996 ESPY Award–Arthur Ashe Award for Courage; has a 4th degree black belt in karate; is an inductee into the Women in Sports Hall of Fame and into the Special Olympics Pennsylvania Hall of Fame.
She has appeared twice on the Oprah show, communicates in 4 languages, and is fluent in American Sign Language. In 2000, Walt Disney Productions produced The Loretta Claiborne Story about her inspiring life.
Q: Tell me about a Special Olympics volunteer who has had a huge impact on your life and why.
A: My wife, Linda. She started a local Unified Sports team, and all of our five kids played Unified basketball. She wanted to create a program and get our family involved at a local level.
Q: With the fiftieth anniversary of Special Olympics having just passed, what’s new with the movement?
A: The Inclusion Revolution! We want 100 million people to pledge involvement and commit to inclusive sports, inclusive health, unified schools, and unified leadership. The kickoff was to create a blaze by lighting the eternal flame in Chicago and [to host] a concert.
Q: Where do you see Special Olympics in ten years?
A: More Unified Sports teams around the world in their own schools. I would like to see programs that highlight skill, leadership, and joy and for peers to learn from the athletes.
As a member of the Special Olympics family myself, I have enjoyed spending time with Tim on other occasions—in Washington, D.C.; Atlanta, Georgia; and elsewhere. This visit was especially memorable because we had a chance to discuss a book Tim wrote, Fully Alive: Discovering What Matters Most.
As I told Tim, it’s a flawless book that speaks about changing personal perspective and society. It has encouraged me to look at my greater, God-given purpose.
Q: Please tell me about your motivation to write your book.
A: I was learning a lot about Special Olympics athletes and realizing that they have a lot to teach. I felt misunderstood when I told others that. They thought I was doing a nice thing for the athletes. I wanted to write a book to clarify this. I was learning how to live my life—more happy, engaged, and motivated. It was a better way to live—a more loving, compassionate, faithful, and free way to live.
Q: Who is your target audience for this book?
A: Anybody interested in trying to find a way to live life with their heart more open.
Q: Is there anything else you want readers to know about you?
A: I am grateful to be in this movement, following our athletes and trying to make a difference in the world.
As a Special Olympics athlete, I am grateful for my special friend Tim Shriver, a gentle man who makes time to doodle with an athlete like me at a conference right before he stands up to present a vision of a movement so powerful, it is going to change the world.
If there is only one thing you take away from this interview, I hope you’ll remember Tim’s point about the way kindness works. At the same time you’re volunteering to help bring about positive change for others, you will gain more positive change in your life than you could have ever dreamed. And if you would join with all of us who are eager to be part of the Inclusion Revolution, let the words of our pledge be your guide:
I pledge to look for the lonely, the isolated, the left out, the challenged, and the bullied.
I pledge to overcome the fear of difference and replace it with the power of inclusion.
I #ChooseToInclude.
Hanna, I'm so proud of you for your involvement in Special Olympics and all the work you do to advocate for a more inclusive world! Thank you for profiling Tim Shriver—he is an inspiring man, and he is doing very important work. Our team at the Foundation has had the pleasure of meeting with him many times, and I’m so grateful to have seen firsthand the talent of Special Olympics athletes. This “inclusion revolution” Hanna writes about captures the spirit of a generation that not only accepts differences, but celebrates them. Let’s do everything we can to help build a more inclusive world. If you’re interested in joining the Special Olympics as an athlete or volunteering for the organization and signing the Inclusion Pledge, check out Special Olympics.
33
HOLLABACK @ HARASSMENT
SOFIA SEARS
I am a 17-year-old female who decided to go to the corner store to get some snacks in the evening. Abruptly this middle-aged male slowed down in his car and asked me if I smoked. I ignored him and continued to walk. I noticed from the corner of my eye that he was following me. He asked me again if I smoked, I said no and continued walking. Then he seemed to get more agitated and told me that I’ll have a good time with him. That he wants to see me naked laying in bed with him. When I heard him say that I felt sick to my stomach. I panicked and started to speed walk. He continued to follow me in his car, at this point I was about 50 feet from my house. I didn’t want him to know where I lived so I pretended that it wasn’t my house and walked the other direction. After 5 minutes of catcalling me he gave up and continued on his way. I ran as fast as I could. Once I got to my house I broke down in tears and had a panic attack. I asked myself—“How could this occur, a 17-year-old female wearing jeans and a long baggy shirt?”
—anonymous post on Hollaback!, July 10, 2019
Being a young woman in the world can be a precarious experience, and finding your footing is anything but simple. Being a young woman inhabiting public space, in particular, is an entirely idiosyncratic, distinctively terrifying experience. Being a pers
on inhabiting public space should not automatically make you the unwitting victim of negative attention and harassment, particularly if you are being attacked because of any facet of your identity.
Hollaback! is an organization working to change this norm and end harassment. For many women, it’s so commonplace that we cannot recount the number of times we have been walking alone, or with female friends, and received whistles, crude comments, demeaning remarks, and lewd exposure from random men. No one should ever feel unsafe in their own neighborhood because of how they look or identify, and we will not achieve a welcoming, comfortable environment for everyone until we all recognize this fundamental truth.
Hollaback!’s goal?
To ensure that truth.
Hollaback! is an extraordinarily important movement to culturally and systemically de-normalize, and ultimately end, harassment in all its forms. The organization was started by Emily May, a passionate advocate for social change and an accomplished, inspirational disrupter of broken social norms. May sums up Hollaback!’s core beliefs, and the importance of ending the harassment, in one sentence: “We believe free speech is not truly free when it silences other people.”
How does her organization work to meet its goals? One way, she says, is via public service announcements on public transportation, by celebrities helping to speak out against harassment, by training businesses how to create harassment-free work environments, and by being clear about what is and isn’t harassment. But what is most valuable, it seems, is sharing individual stories.
Channel Kindness Page 13