Just because the lecture was well-deserved didn’t mean Kenneth had wanted to hear it. Normally he’d tell someone to fuck off if they tried to intimidate him. This was different. He’d listen for one reason: Roger was Shanda’s father.
Once outside, Roger asked, “Home Blown is never so busy that she couldn’t speak to you. What really is going on? And don’t waste my time by coming up with some lie. If I don’t like what I hear, I’m only going to call Shanda and ask her myself.”
Kenneth appreciated the chance to explain. Although he was surprised Roger was giving him one.
“We had dinner at my parents’ house last night. It didn’t go very well.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Although my mother may have tried, she was unsuccessful at making Shanda feel…comfortable.”
“She was rude to my daughter?” he glared angrily.
“No. Not intentionally. My family is different. From early on in life, my brothers and I knew what my parents wanted and expected of us.”
Roger crossed his arms and asked, “And they don’t believe Shanda fits into what they want?”
“I know she doesn’t,” Kenneth said firmly. He saw Roger’s jaw tense and his fist clench. He wasn’t scared that Roger was going to inflict any damage if they fought, but the hurt in Shanda wouldn’t heal. Kenneth quickly raised his hands and added, “Before you flip out, let me explain. It doesn’t have anything to do with Shanda’s character or anything like that. She’s…she’s an amazing woman. Yet my family is strictly driven by business. Even when it comes to their personal relationships.” It’s just another business decision. “Shanda isn’t like that at all. If she had only a dollar to her name, and someone needed it, Shanda would gladly hand it over.”
Roger stared at him, questioning if he could trust what was being said. None of it really painted him in a good light, so there was no reason why he shouldn’t. Finally Roger said, “You’re right, Shanda would. Charity, kindness, and thinking of others is bred into the Morris family. Probably even more so with Shanda because she spent a lot of time with my dad. We brought her up to believe each day is new, and a fresh start. If you have nothing when you go to bed, then get a good night’s rest so that in the morning, you’ll have the strength to work twice as hard for what you need or want. The only problem with Shanda is, I’m not sure she knows what she wants. And by looking at you, I’m not so sure you do either.”
He called that one right. He still had his goals, just they weren’t as clear as they had been a few weeks ago. He could blame Shanda for coming into his life and flipping it on its backside. But it wasn’t her fault. The question was, did he want to fix it? What did it matter if he landed the next huge deal, if Shanda wasn’t around to share it with?
So far, everything in his life had had a price. Money was never an issue when it came to getting what he wanted. But he knew her heart wasn’t for sale, and her love was priceless. How could he convince her of his feelings when he wasn’t sure what they were himself? Fuck, I’m not sure I’ll ever deserve such a gem. From the look in Roger’s eyes, he had his doubts as well.
“Roger, I wish I could promise you that I would never hurt Shanda. All I can say is, she means more to me than I ever expected. I’ll do everything in my power to make her happy.” Even if that means walking away.
“I’ll give you a chance to fix this with Shanda. Just before you do, I suggest you figure out what the hell you want first.” Roger turned and walked back into the house.
Kenneth got in his car, backed out of the driveway and pulled onto the road. All he wanted to do was call Shanda, go over, and hold her in his arms. He wanted to tell her he was sorry for last night. But what would sorry do? Nothing. They would end up making love and never talking. Not that he was big on deep conversations, but they did need to have one.
Tonight he was going home alone, because he had a lot of thinking to do.
I just hope tomorrow I know what to do. Not just for her sake, but for mine as well. He didn’t believe in soulmates, but she brought something into his life that he needed, even if he didn’t want it. And if he couldn’t figure out how to make it all work, then the truth was, she was better off without him.
Chapter Twelve
Shanda was glad she had decided not to respond to Kenneth yesterday. He may have sent a few text messages, but each had been as impersonal as the last. How are you? How is work? Did you want to talk about your business plan? Granted, she didn’t expect words of love, but she would’ve liked to see something more intimate. Maybe that he missed her. Or wished he could be holding her. Hell, she’d settle for something like she haunted his dreams. Kenneth had definitely visited hers. No matter what, she woke several times during the night covered in sweat from an erotic dream.
A cool shower seemed to have helped. So did focusing on something she did have control over: Home Blown. The stubborn streak within her kicked in and before she knew it she had her laptop on the bed and she was typing away. She might not know all the ins and outs of the stock market, but DeeDee was right, she wasn’t stupid. She could do this without Kenneth’s assistance.
The next hour was spent wording and rewording it until it looked just right. Before she posted it, she wanted to give it one last run through. As she read her advertisement, her eyes opened wide and she burst out laughing. Oh my God, it sounds like I’m looking for a man. As she read it one more time, she realized it wasn’t just any man, either. She was placing an ad for Kenneth. How the hell hadn’t I seen this before?
With a sigh of relief, she hit delete. An ad like that, with a business name like Home Blown, would have the police knocking on her door. She wanted—no, needed—to build her clientele, but she wasn’t offering those types of services.
It wasn’t funny, but she had to laugh. Kenneth never would’ve come close to making such an error. He’s all professional. That’s why he’s a billionaire and I’m lifting the cushions on my couch for loose change.
This just proved to her that her subconscious wasn’t going to let her ignore what she needed to address. The roosters hadn’t even started to crow yet. Shanda looked at the clock: four A.M. There was no way she could call Kenneth now. Sending him a text message, well, that was different. She could respond to his, which was only polite.
Shanda snickered, closed the laptop and put it on her nightstand. She grabbed her cell phone and scrolled through his messages. Which one did she want to answer? Talking business was definitely not happening. Really, none of them appealed to her. Instead, she came up with her own.
WHAT’S UP?
That should get a response.
Sitting there just staring at her phone waiting for his quick-witted response was driving her crazy. When her phone vibrated, it wasn’t a message coming through. He was Facetiming her. Shanda could see her reflection on the screen and it wasn’t good. But they had been intimate and Kenneth had seen her sweaty with grass stuck in her hair. She shouldn’t let this uncombed look stop her now. Besides, she wanted to give him a piece of her mind for not calling her yesterday. Text messages didn’t cut it.
She pressed accept. The image of Kenneth standing with a towel riding low on his waist almost made her drop the phone.
After a long pause, Kenneth asked, “You did want to talk to me right?”
She blushed and realized she hadn’t said a word. Thankfully drooling hadn’t commenced yet. Any lingering anger about his lack of calling her yesterday was replaced with building frustration of another kind. Her eyes roamed over his delicious body one more time. No one should look that good in the morning. Clearing her throat, she said, “I was checking to see how things are.”
He smiled and said in a deep, husky voice, “That’s not exactly what you asked.”
Kenneth somehow could always make her laugh, even when he wasn’t trying to. It was a good way for them to start. She didn’t want things to be awkward between them. Not after it had been so damn good.
Shanda let her eyes roa
m down his body and then said, “Even through that towel, I can see what’s up.”
She prepared herself for a snappy retort, but instead his hand gripped the towel and yanked it off. “Any more questions?”
Yes, why the hell aren’t you on your way here?
“Not at the moment.” She could feel her cheeks burning with the need that was built up within her. It hadn’t been long since they had made love, but to her body, it felt like forever. Swallowing hard, she tried for a casual tone. “I guess I called at a convenient… I mean, inconvenient time,” she stammered.
“No such thing,” he responded. “I’m glad you called. I was getting worried.”
“I’ve been busy,” she said. She felt horrible about lying to him. “That’s not true. I was…well…”
“Shanda, you don’t have to explain,” he said as he slipped on a pair of boxers.
Thank you. At least now I can think clearly.
“Kenneth, I do. If I don’t it will always be something like a wedge between us. I don’t want that.”
“I have a few things I need to say as well. Would you like me to go first?”
That would be great, but also a copout. “No. I need to explain why I blew you off yesterday. I guess I was upset that you didn’t speak to me much after having dinner with your parents.”
“I’m sorry about that. There was a lot on my mind that I needed to process.”
Me too. And I had wanted to talk to you about it. “It felt more like you were shutting me out.”
“Baby, that wasn’t my intention. I told you that I’m here for you,” he stated.
Tell him the truth. Share your feelings or end up alone. There also was the chance that if she did open up to him, it could scare him away, as well.
“It didn’t feel like it. I sat at your parents’ and halfway through dinner, I felt as though I was invisible.” Even to you.
“I wish I could go back in time and change that. I know the conversation wasn’t what you might have wanted.”
“But you said nothing?” she stated, not trying to cover up the hurt.
He nodded. “My fear was if I had them stop talking business, they’d choose a topic we…I…wasn’t ready to discuss.”
“Like what?” she asked.
“How I feel about you? Where I see this going? What are my plans for the future? And then she would’ve turned her questions to you. She would’ve asked if you thought you were Heart-worthy. It would’ve felt more like an inquisition than a fucking family dinner.”
“I can see that would’ve made it uncomfortable for you.”
“For us,” he said.
Shanda shook her head. “No. I would’ve had no issue with answering.” That was so much easier to say after her talk with DeeDee, but at least now she didn’t feel unworthy. That, however, didn’t have anything to do with their relationship.
He raised a brow and said, “I wish you had. I’d have loved to hear it.”
“I’m talking about whether or not I am Heart-worthy,” she stated.
“Oh. I was hoping you’d have answered it all,” Kenneth said. “So if we were there right now, what would you have told my mother?”
“Simple. I was Heart-worthy, but the jury was still out on whether you are Morris-worthy.”
Kenneth burst out laughing. “Oh that would’ve been priceless. I bet her hair would’ve gone gray right in front of us.”
“Kenneth there are a lot of things I’m not, but I don’t take getting put down very well. Actually, I get a bit sarcastic and maybe a smidge rude.”
“Good. You shouldn’t ever let anyone make you feel less than the gem that you are,” he stated.
“But it wouldn’t have been nice.”
“Shanda, it would’ve been a hell of a lot better than what we did. I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to you?”
“I can think of one way,” she said. He shot her a wicked grin and she stopped it right there. “That’s not what I mean,” she stated firmly.
“Damn. Can that be an add-on?” he teased.
“We’ll talk about it later. Right now, I’m being serious.” Or trying to. “I was going to suggest we try it again.”
“Try what?”
“Dinner with your parents,” she said.
She loved his expression. It was between utter shock and disappointment.
“You have to be joking. After Monday, why would you want to put us…I mean you, through that again?”
“Kenneth…” She froze. The question couldn’t come out. She wanted to ask him the questions his mother would’ve. Even though she could see his freaking gorgeous face, this should be asked in person. “Sometimes you need to face your fears.”
“I thought you weren’t afraid,” he said.
She held her head up high and replied, “I meant you.”
He laughed. “You are something else Shanda.”
“So I take that as a yes?” she asked.
“Is it up for negotiation?” he asked. She shook her head. “Then I guess I’ll call them today and see if they have any free time next week.”
“Or maybe Friday. We could take them to the restaurant you and I went to when you returned my T-shirt.”
“And bra,” he added.
“That too. Or if you’d like, I could call her?” Shanda would have preferred not to, but if that was what it took, she would.
“Tell me you’re not going to make me wait till Friday to see you again,” he said.
“When do you want to see me?” she asked.
“Now sounds good,” he winked.
She wasn’t about to take her clothes off on the camera. She wasn’t shy, but she did have limits. “How about tonight? I’ll even cook for you.”
“Ham and cheese,” he teased.
“Very funny. I do cook. It’s not my fault that you like to…disturb me so I can’t.”
“I’ll be at your house around seven and I’ll bring dinner.”
“Don’t trust my cooking?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No. But I like the idea of disturbing you,” he teased.
She wasn’t going to go down that path with him. He already had her hot and bothered. Phone sex wasn’t going to put out the fire that was igniting. So she changed the subject.
“I thought there was something you wanted to talk to me about,” Shanda said.
“Tonight. We can discuss over dinner,” he said.
And before dessert.
Kenneth ordered Chinese take-out, which he knew he’d regret later. But it was fast and he’d been running late. He even got pulled over by the Rhode Island State Troopers, and they had no issue giving him a hefty ticket. Something about doing ninety on the highway was frowned upon. He didn’t even realize how fast he’d been going, never mind the fact that he’d blown past the cop.
None of it mattered tonight. He had much bigger things on his mind. Did he want to hold her and make love to her? Fuck yeah. But there was a discussion that he’d promised himself he’d have with her. He couldn’t accomplish shit today because all he did was replay what to say at least a hundred different ways. None seemed right. Even now as he knocked on her door, he had no fucking clue where to start. And when she opened it, all rational thought disappeared.
“I was going to give up and make a peanut butter sandwich,” she joked as she took the bag from him. “I’m glad I waited. This smells great.”
He couldn’t even remember what he’d ordered. But there was enough food there to last days. It might have been easier to call and ask what she liked, but something in that bag must appeal to her.
As they sat in the kitchen, he watched Shanda open up each container. “Oh I love Lo Mein. And crab Rangoons are my favorite.” She seemed to love everything in the bag.
He smiled, “I take it you like Chinese food.”
She was already scooping some out onto her plate and said, “You bet. I could eat it every day. And by the looks of it, I will be. Did you leave any for anyone else
?”
He shrugged. “I figured we might get hungry again later.”
“Planning on helping me burn this off?” she asked.
If I’m lucky, yes.
“We’ll see. First we talk business, and after that I have something else I need to discuss with you. If there is any time after that, then maybe we can get some cardio in,” he winked.
“You know, I do think better after exercise,” she teased.
“Good thing all you’ll be doing is listening.” He smiled. Good try, but I’m not giving in no matter how much my cock is aching.
Shanda stopped eating and said, “Did you want to talk now and we eat later?”
“I can do both, how about you?” he asked. She nodded. “Okay, eat and I’ll tell you what I came up with regarding the manager.” She practically choked and he asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure I should tell you,” she said.
He raised a brow and said, “You can’t say something like that and then stop. Did you hire someone?”
She giggled. “Nope. Let’s put it this way, my ad for a manager fit perfectly with the name of the shop.”
“You didn’t, did you?” he asked, knowing damn well the calls she was going to get, weren’t ones she wanted. Hell, I don’t want them calling either.
“I caught the mistake before sending it to be listed in the classifieds. That’s what I get for trying to write something professional at two in the morning.”
“I’m not sure what shocks me more: that you wrote it, or that you were using a classified ad in a newspaper.”
“You’re laughing at me again. Don’t even pretend that you’re not,” she warned.
“I don’t even have a smirk on my face,” he said.
“I can tell from your eyes. They almost twinkle when you’re teasing me,” she said.
Twinkle? Hell no they don’t. “Baby, there is nothing on me that shines or twinkles.”
Don't Break (The Reluctant Heart Book 1) Page 12