by T. L Smith
I shake my head. “Thank you, but I’ve been doing it by myself for this long. It hasn’t killed me yet.”
Walking into her house Creed is a reminder everywhere, even his smell lingers here.
“This is it. I’m going to make you some tea. It will help you sleep, okay?” She brushes my hair from my face and I wonder if I can keep her.
My cell starts ringing but I ignore it. I lie down on the bed, and in seconds I’m asleep before she comes back.
“She’ll want to go home. I’m taking her home.” The door to the room where I’m sleeping opens and Echo stands there. He looks to the floor then to me, walking in and picking up my bag. Creed’s mother is close behind him. “I’m your ride, buttercup. Ready?”
I nod getting up. “Thank you so much.”
Creed’s mom hugs me again, and this time I don’t hold on longer than necessary.
Today is a new day.
“Can I call you? I would love to go shopping.”
“I would like that, seeing as I have nothing yet.”
Echo carries my bag to his car, and as we get in, he doesn’t speak, not until we’ve driven off down the street. “You have your job if you want it.”
I smile, thinking of Creed’s mother. “I’m going to need it, but I don’t want to cause any hassle or friction,” I say honestly.
“Creed would never have agreed to have you fired. We thought it was best to do it without him knowing, so when he came back he would be clear-headed. Seems he decided to give us all a black eye for thinking so.” Echo takes off his sunglasses showing me his black eye.
“I never meant for this to happen, you know.”
“We know, and we’ll help best we can. Hell girl, you got our next generation of Crimson Elite in that belly. We have to protect you.”
“Does Creed feel the same way?” I ask, cringing at the idea. The way he looked last night still haunts me.
“He’ll come around, it’s just going to take longer with him. He doesn’t do feelings well, and well, a baby is all feelings.” He laughs. Pulling up to the front of my apartment a man is there with a truck and he’s knocking on my door. Getting out, I walk straight up to him.
“You’re Miss Beckham?” he asks, and I nod my head. “This delivery was marked as urgent. Can you let me in?” He nods to the door and when I pull it open he whistles to the truck. The doors are opened and another man I didn’t see starts carrying baby things inside. Baby things I didn’t order.
“Who paid for this?”
He shrugs his shoulders having no idea.
“You can ring this number, but it was marked as a gift, miss.”
Echo walks into my apartment and looks down at the bassinet, new crib and baby bath then whistles. “This is exciting, what are we going to name him?”
“Him?” I ask.
“Yeah, has to be a boy.”
“And what if it’s a girl.”
He shrugs. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“Do you know who paid for this?”
“The club,” he answers straight away. Like it was obvious.
“The club?”
He nods. “Yeah. Falcon did it last night after he was knocked out. You know—”
He uses air quotes with his fingers, “to show support.” He laughs. “Or as I like to say, so he doesn’t get another black eye.”
“It’s too much.”
“Buttercup, this place is too less.” He looks around scrunching up his nose. I roll my eyes at his assessment of my place. I love it, but yes, he’s right, it isn’t enough, but it’s all I’ve got. So I’ll make do.
“Echo.” He stops scrutinizing my apartment and looks up to me. “I have a scan in a week. Can you let him know?”
He nods before he reaches into his pocket, pulling out some bills and handing them to me. I don’t take it.
“I don’t want your money.”
“Take it.”
I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest. “Thank you for the lift, but obviously I have some things to do,” I say gesturing to the gifts that have arrived.
“You know, you don’t have to do it alone.”
“I’m not alone.” My hand touches my belly, and a sense of warmth spreads through me. Maybe this won’t be so bad, I have love to give and a lot of it too. Who better to give it to than someone who will love me unconditionally and not see my flaws.
Yeah, maybe it won’t be so bad after all.
27
Creed
Killing someone wasn’t an option, not with the way I feel. Because killing only one person wouldn’t subdue the way I’m feeling right now, it would only make it worse. I went back to work today to collect a few things. As I entered I saw her there, heard her voice, and thought I was dreaming for a minute. When she started to fall backward, catching her was just my luck. What came after was anything but. How could I have been so careless with her? So infatuated by her that all my morals went out the fucking window? It’s because she isn’t like your average girl, if she were I wouldn’t feel what I feel for her now. I wouldn’t have chased her the way I have. She’s different, I knew the moment I saw her standing in the street that night watching. It’s the only reason I didn’t unlock her apartment door, walk in and kill her. That would have been a very big mistake for me.
“You love her,” Falcon says as I pace the room.
“I don’t.”
He laughs at my words. “You love her. Tell me something, Creed, if I was to kill her right now, how would that make you feel?”
Walking straight up to him I grab him by his collar. Yesterday they all tried to hold me back, but I managed to hurt each and every one of them, their eyes are proof of that.
“You won’t fucking touch her.”
He tries to brush my hands off. “Fuck, Creed, let go.”
“Tell me you won’t touch her!”
He nods and I drop him. Continuing to pace.
“You go crazy about her, you are in some deep shit. You know that, right?”
I do. I fucking do know that.
“Tell me, how would you feel if she loved someone else? Maybe that Mickey guy you did a search on?”
I shake my head, scum is all he is. He only wanted her for one thing. “She wouldn’t love anyone else,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Tell me why, Mr. Cavalier, tell me why?”
Turing fast, so I’m in his face again. “Because she loves me.” Very slowly, as I back away, a smile creeps on his face.
“You know for a fact she loves you?”
My head hurts, this thing in my chest fucking hurts too. I rub at it hoping it will go away.
“Tell me how you know she loves you, Creed.”
“She says it in her sleep. She tells me.”
He nods. “That’s why you went and tortured the councilman that night. Did her words scare you that much?”
“She shouldn’t love me, I’m not healthy.”
“Maybe you should try. Maybe you might surprise yourself.”
I shake my head. “I’m only capable of a small fraction of love, and that’s solely reserved for my Ma. She gave me life. I give her mine.”
He laughs. “That’s the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever heard. You love us, even if you don’t say it. Yes, you love your mother, fuck we all do. But you also love someone who’s new in your life, that’s not something you’re used to. Loving someone that hasn’t gained your trust first, that came in and swept you away with her. I see you get lost in Elicea when you look at her. I could only imagine how it is when you two are alone.”
“Addictive,” I say using the one word which describes us well.
“I may have sent her a whole load of baby shit, too. Because she’s pregnant.”
I groan. I haven’t forgotten that fact. At all.
“Echo also took her home.”
Of course, he did, Echo wants kids, or at least he did. Not so sure anymore.
“You have to go to her.
You have to talk to her.”
Echo walks in with a smile on his face as he whistles. He stops when he sees us, then turns to leave but then swings around again. “She asked me to tell you about her appointment. She has a scan next week. If you don’t want to go, let me know and I’ll take her. She shouldn’t do it by herself.” Then he’s gone the same way he came in.
A scan.
What the fuck is that?
To hurt the baby? Will it hurt the baby?
I really need to learn this shit.
“What the fuck is a scan?” I ask Falcon, who just shrugs his shoulders.
“Fuck if I know.” He turns, looking at Darby’s office then back to me. “You two need to sort your shit out, real fast. It’s getting on all our nerves.”
Pushing past Falcon, I go straight into Darby’s office. His head is down and he’s concentrating on something. It takes him a moment to look up. “I’m still firing her from the bar. I can’t have a pregnant woman at my bar. It’s bad for business.”
I nod, I knew he was going to say that.
“I’ll give her a job up here. I’ll create something.”
I sit in front of him, relieved that he wants to keep her here. I’m happy he chose to do that, but I’m not sure how to express it to him. It’s hard to tell someone you care when you don’t speak those words at all, ever.
“Thanks.”
His eyebrows rise in wonder. “Did you just thank me for not firing your baby momma?”
“She isn’t my baby momma.”
I hate that saying. Despise it.
“Well, have you worked out what she will be?”
I look down at my hands as they squeeze the chair tight. “No.”
He taps on his desk. “Maybe you just haven’t realized it yet.”
“I’m not in the mood for riddles, D.”
He smiles. “Maybe she will be good for you. After all, we all assumed it was best to fire her. Maybe we were wrong. She could be just the person to bring you out of your shell because we all know you’re an asshole. Does she know that, yet, though?”
“Of course, she knows.”
He nods his head in agreement.
“What’s a scan?” I ask him, hoping he might know.
“A scan?”
“She told Echo she’s having a scan.”
“Oh, of the baby.”
Now it’s my turn to look confused. And how the fuck does he know this? He always seems to know everything.
“Are you going?” He leans forward, clearly seeing I’m still confused. “You get to see the baby, Creed. You don’t want to miss that.”
“I don’t want to miss it—” I say, laughing at his words. “I didn’t even agree to have one. How is that even fair?” I ask him honestly.
“You think she chose to have one? Because from the look on her face she didn’t, and by the current situation she is in I would also guess she didn’t. Tell me—has she asked you for anything? Tried to get money from you?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer then. I’ve seen gold diggers before, Creed, and she isn’t one. She wouldn’t be working and telling you to piss off every time she got mad. She’d keep you around to use you, and she isn’t doing that.”
“I just wanted her,” I tell him honestly.
“Now you have her. Well, you did. So maybe you should go and try to make it better. Or you will lose her forever. She’s a package deal now, and it’s your package unless you want another man to step in. And believe me, it won’t take long, she’s a beautiful woman.”
“Yeah—” I stand up to leave.
“I know you, Creed, don’t take your time with this one. This one doesn’t have time to waste.”
Time, it’s a fickle bitch.
28
Elicea
Tracey’s kept me company, and even a visit followed by a shopping trip with Creed’s mother as well. But no Creed, not even at work when Darby told me I’d only be in the bar for one more week before I move upstairs with them—he can’t have a pregnant woman working the bar. I get it, but it was hard to hear.
My foot taps as I wait.
Will he show up?
Or decide not to come at all.
I messaged him the details and he never replied, so the waiting game is on. Looking at the clock again, my appointment is in two minutes and he still isn’t here. I didn’t want to do this by myself, not this anyway. Will I be left to give birth by myself, too? I can’t handle that if it is the case. Maybe I should have taken Tracey up on her offer to live with her and let her be there for me.
“Elicea Beckham.” My name is called and just as I turn to look around one last time he walks in the door like a breath of fresh air. People turn to look, hell, even I turn to look and stare longer than necessary until he reaches me.
My name is called again, and before I can say a word to him, he grips my hip as he starts to push me forward so I move. The room is cold and not what I thought it would be, a machine and a bed plus a chair. I was expecting more, something to help calm my nerves, but it all feels very sterile.
“Is this your first viewing?” My head snaps up at her words. I nod as she looks over my shoulder. “You’re the father?” I tense at her words, but she smiles so I’m guessing he nodded as well. “It’s a beautiful thing. Now if you don’t mind changing into the robe, we can check out your baby.”
“Why do I have to wear a robe?”
“It’s just in case we need to do a vaginal sonogram, but I’m hoping we get some good pictures today for you to take home.” She leaves the room. Reaching for the robe, I turn my back to him so he can’t see me as I remove my top and slide my jeans down before I pull on the robe.
Turning back to him, he’s watching me as I get on the bed. Before he can say a word, the door opens, and the operator walks in and lifts the robe before she places the gel and ultrasound probe on my stomach. The screen lights up and she points to something and then the sound comes on.
“That’s the heartbeat. Very strong,” she says.
It’s real now. Realer than it has ever been as I look at the screen with my baby on it. Until this very moment, I didn’t know I wanted a child.
“I’ll print off a few photos, but everything looks good. You’re about sixteen weeks along.” She hands the photos over and wipes my belly then tells me I can pee. I get straight off the bed and run as she walks out. When I finish, I come back out and see Creed leaning on the bed looking at the photographs closely.
“We created that,” he states looking up at me. It’s the first time I’ve seen real emotion evident in his eyes. Walking over, I look down at the photograph, and it makes my heart swell. I move away to get dressed.
Stripping off the robe and pulling up my jeans, his voice stops me. “I want to see. Can I see?”
I turn my head to him. “See what?”
He looks down, then back up to me. “Your belly.”
Turning around I show him, it’s bigger when I stand. But I can still hide it as I’m not large yet.
“You’re beautiful.” His words make my heart skip a beat. Brushing the words away, I reach for my shirt and don’t look back as I start to walk out, knowing full well he’ll follow me.
“It’s a lot to take in.”
I laugh as we walk outside, then look around for the nearest cab so I can get out of here. I don’t want to deal with this right now. I want to stay on a high from seeing my baby.
“For you? Or the person who’s actually carrying the child,” I say with an eye roll.
“I didn’t want kids, Elicea.”
Turning to face him, my high now officially gone and instead, anger sits in its place.
“You think I did?” I poke at his chest. “This wasn’t just me. You forgot to wear protection, or did you forget that?” Waving down the cab, I walk off and away from him. His footsteps follow me, though. “I’ll drive you home.”
“Go away, Creed, I’ve been dealing with it by myself. I can manag
e. I don’t need you.”
He grunts behind me. “I had to have time to adjust.”
Getting into the cab, I shut the door not even bothering replying. Who the fuck gave me time to adjust? No one, that’s who. Why does he get the privilege when I didn’t?
“I’ll just follow you.” He throws money to the cab driver then he walks off. I spin in my seat and see him getting in his car and doing just that, following like he said he would.
Calling Tracey, she answers on the first ring. She wanted to come today but I thought it was best she didn’t in case he did show up.
“Was she beautiful? She was beautiful, wasn’t she?” she gushes into the cell.
“You all think you know the sex of the baby.” I laugh.
“Please, it’s a girl, I just know it.”
“He came.”
She goes silent. “Can I stab him now?”
I laugh into the cell. “No. I may need him to be a dad—if he wants to, I guess.”
“Please, you don’t need him. You have me. I’ll be a great dad.”
“You’re a girl.”
“True. But I can be mean, ask Billy.” She giggles.
“He’s following me right now. I’m in the cab, he’s in his car,” I say, looking behind to see him still there following like a stalker.
“You didn’t get in his car? Good girl.”
“I don’t know how long I can keep this up. Wouldn’t it be easier to just let him be there? Not for me—but for the baby.”
“I can’t answer that for you. I’m sorry, El.”
“I gotta go, talk later?”
“Yes, call me.”
I hang up and get out. No point in running from him when he plans to follow me anyway. And I bet he also has a set of keys to my place considering he owned it. Opening the front door, I leave it open for him to come inside. He does so, following me without saying a word, while I put my things down and turn to face him. He’s watching me, he always is.
“What do you want to talk about, Creed?”
He looks around my small apartment, his eyes landing on the baby things that I still haven’t gotten around to unpacking.