by Taylor Hale
“Whoa.”
I snap from my trance. He’s standing again, and his eyes trail all the way to my legs.
“Damn, are you trying to kill me?”
“What does that mean?” I stammer.
“It means you look good.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
Don’t get me wrong, I want him to find me attractive. But now isn’t the time. I must be insane—there’s no way I’m getting in that water.
“Never mind.” I grab my shirt. “I can’t.”
“If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. But you’ll be okay,” West says, out loud this time, and it’s surreal, but I believe him. So I drop my shirt back on the grass and kick off my flip-flops. West’s smile widens. “Atta girl. You can do it.”
My feet sink into the silt. I touch my toes to the surface of the lake and yank my leg back like it’s been electrocuted. But it isn’t as freezing as it was on the night I fell. This water feels different. It’s murky, chalky with microorganisms and algae, and when my foot descends into the silt again, there are plants between my toes. This isn’t the ocean. It’s not the same. I can swim here. West holds out his hand, so I take it. He walks me into the water, and oh God, it’s so cold, and the earth is so slimy, but I keep going, one step at a time, until I’m half under.
“Oh God, West, I can’t.” My teeth chatter and my body trembles. I need to get back, but West squeezes my hand, keeps me grounded.
“You can,” he says. “Come on, you’re already halfway there. I’ve got you.”
“Please don’t let go.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
Keeping my eyes closed, I step farther into the water. When my feet raise from the ground, my legs know to kick. I flip onto my back and float, and when I open my eyes, a great blue heron flies past the clouds rimmed with the silver lining of the sun. West is still standing, his hands firm on my back to help me stay afloat.
“There, see?” His smile reaches his eyes. “You’re okay.”
“I can’t believe this.” I roll onto my stomach and kick again, hurling myself forward, but West keeps his hands on me at all times. A sense of freedom surges through me as I adjust to the temperature of the water.
“See, you got it,” West says.
We both laugh as I straighten up, and he grips the curve of my torso. When he pulls me to him, adrenaline slams into me, so I wrap my legs around his hips and grab onto his shoulders. Water drips from his dark eyelashes onto his cheeks. I’m close enough to feel his breath on my lips. The coldness fades until all I can feel is his skin on mine.
Just as West is closing the gap between us, I see something move out of the corner of my eye. We look up and Miles is standing on the shoreline.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” West shouts.
I slip behind West, holding onto his back, and he stands in front of me. Miles looks at West and me, and I want to shrivel up and die. As if I’m not horrified enough, two other people appear from the forest.
Oh shit.
Miles’s dad looks exactly the same—thin brown hair, an expression that looks like he has a permanent pickle stuck up his ass. Beatrice stalks up from behind him. And here I am, practically naked, latched onto West like a damn leech. West uses his body to shield me from their sight, and I keep piggybacking him.
“What the hell?” West yells. “Get out of here!”
“You want us to get out of here?” Brian’s voice booms. “This cabin—this whole goddamn lake—is my property, Weston. What do you think you’re doing here?”
Beatrice grabs a fistful of Brian’s black golf shirt and whispers, “This is what he does, Brian. He brings all these promiscuous girls up here right under your nose. You’re going to end up with another grandchild you can never see.”
I’m not promiscuous; I haven’t even had my first kiss yet.
The water rises around me as the pressure increases. What had just felt freeing is quickly becoming a cage, and the euphoria from being so close to West disappears as reality crashes back in. Terror pumps through my veins, so intense I’ll explode if I don’t get to land.
“West, I need out,” I manage to say.
“It’s okay,” he says before he focuses on his dad. “Seriously, please leave. She literally just got in the water, you guys are messing everything up.”
“Oh no, we’re having a conversation. After I helped you with Amelia, this is how you repay me?” Brian points his finger at us. “Get your damn clothes on and meet me back at the cabin.”
Brian and Beatrice disappear into the forest, but Miles remains, his eyes full of both anger and hurt, before he follows after them. This is bad, really bad. West carries me out of the water. With my feet on the land, I scramble farther away from the shore with my heart still pounding. I can’t believe I actually swam for the first time in five years, yet somehow, all I can think about is this Hendricks drama. Water drips from the ends of my hair and slicks down my goosebump-covered body in tiny rivers. When a towel wraps around my shoulders, I sink into the warmth.
“You’re okay,” West says.
“I know. Thank you.”
“That was intense.” West puts his shirt back on. “I’m sorry. Not sure losing my temper with them was the best idea.”
After drying off, I pull up my shorts. “It’s not your fault. You weren’t expecting anyone, especially your parents. What are they doing here?”
“No idea. But I have a strong feeling Miles had something to do with it.”
“He couldn’t have known we were up here.”
Once we’re dressed, we hurry through the forest. My wet bathing suit soaks my clothing, gross and soggy against my skin. West and I take the short walk back to the cabin, where we find Brian, Beatrice, and Miles waiting for us by the firepit. I try to make apologetic eye contact with Miles, but now he’s the one who refuses to look at me. That was a horrible way for him to find out about me and West.
“Weston.” Brian breaks away from the others and slides his hands in the pockets of his tan shorts. His gaze lands on me, and I tense up. “And you’re Miles’s friend. Interesting.”
Perfect, now Brian Hendricks is unimpressed with me. It doesn’t matter what he thinks—especially since he and West don’t get along—but I’ve always hated being disliked. Even by someone I dislike.
“Well,” Brian says to West, “I’m sure you can imagine my surprise, coming up to my cabin to find this, Weston.”
“Bullshit, Miles told you to come here, didn’t he?”
“It doesn’t matter. Hand over the key.”
West growls, but digs his keychain from his pocket and shoves it in Brian’s hand.
“Is this the only one you have? Don’t lie to me.”
“Yes. That’s it, seriously. I don’t know why I can’t just have it. I don’t wreck the place, I don’t even have parties.”
Brian looks at me, then back at West. “You know why.”
“Do you think that matters? I have my own apartment; I can do whatever I want.”
“I certainly don’t want to provide you with alternative places to impregnate girls.”
“Dad, what the fuck.”
Face burning, I look at the chipped blue paint on my toenails. Can somebody kill me now, please?
“Do you have belongings inside?” Brian asks.
“Yeah.” West takes my hand. “I’ll grab my stuff, and then trust me, you won’t see me for a long time.”
We enter the cabin in silence, and I snatch my backpack off the bar stool as West gathers his keys.
“You got everything?” West asks tensely. I nod and throw my backpack over my shoulders. “I think I dropped my wallet somewhere,” he says. “Follow me out back.”
Through the back doors, we end up at the firepit again, but the rest of West’s family has moved to the fron
t of the cabin. West searches the grass. A click sounds from the sliding glass doors, and I turn to see Brian watching us with his hand on the lock, his face shadowed. After a moment, he disappears into the cabin, probably to lock up the other doors so we can’t get back in. Something about him is even more terrifying than when we were kids.
“There you are,” someone says.
Miles rounds the side of the house, just as West tucks his wallet into the pocket of his swim trunks.
“Miles,” I begin, “I can explain—”
But I’m cut off by West storming toward him, and Miles squirms as West shoves him into the wall of the cabin by his chest.
“If you ever do anything like this again, I’ll fucking kill you,” West says. “You might have Dad fooled, but not me. Are you so jealous you had to ruin everything for us?”
“Are you kidding?” Miles shouts. “You come out here with my best friend, and you’re giving me shit for showing up?”
West slams him again, and Miles yelps in a way that makes me feel terrible. This type of violence freaks me out.
“Stop!” I say. “Let him go, West. Please.”
West’s eyebrows are stitched with rage, but he releases the pressure on Miles’s chest. Miles regains his composure and adjusts his shirt.
“So what, was this your plan all along?” Miles asks West, voice dripping with hatred. “Hook up with my best friend the moment she comes home to see me?”
West laughs, but it’s sarcastic. “See, that kind of fucked, entitled attitude is exactly why you’ll always be a brat. She came back to recover, not just for you, Miles.”
“Not just for you, either, asshole.”
“Stop it,” I cut in. “If you’re going to fight with each other, please don’t make it about me.”
“But it is about you,” Miles says.
“I don’t want it to be.”
Both Miles and West are staring at me now, and I hate it, I hate being the center of attention. This day can’t get any worse. Miles needs to know the truth about me and West, but there’s so much betrayal on his face. I’m shaking so hard I need to lean against the side of the cabin to catch my balance.
“West,” I say, “give us a moment alone, please.”
“What?”
“Please.”
“Whatever.” He takes off around the side of the house, leaving me out back with Miles. Hesitantly, our eyes lock. He’s going to hate me for this.
“Miles, did you know we were going to be up here?” I ask.
“Nope,” he says, clearly pissed.
I look over my shoulder for his parents or West, but voices come from the front of the house—probably Brian yelling at West again. I face Miles. “Listen, I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but West and I are—”
“I know what you are,” he snaps. “Save it, Olivia. Have you always liked him?” When I’m silent, Miles scoffs. “So when everyone said we’d get married when we were kids, you already knew you liked him instead of me?”
“What was I supposed to say, Miles? I was a kid! I didn’t think you actually liked me back then, you never said anything!”
Miles is silent, and I am sick to my stomach. Suddenly everything we’ve ever done together needs to be reanalyzed. The way he’d sometimes touch my wrists, or how he’d always follow me around—to me, it was always platonic. But to him, maybe all of it was sewn together with the hope I’d like him as more than a friend. The same way I always hoped, deep down, that West would like me.
“You were always my friend first,” Miles says. “Guess we’re not even that anymore.”
“Why? Because of West? We can still be friends.”
Miles starts walking away. “I don’t want to be friends with you if you’re with him.”
“Are you serious?” I chase after him. “So what, that’s it? If I don’t like you back, you don’t want anything to do with me?”
“You already wanted nothing to do with me, anyway. Just piss off, Olivia, you’re the shittiest friend I’ve ever had.”
Before I can stop him, Miles takes off. I stand there, trembling with anger and guilt and so much confusion.
Maybe it’s better Miles and I don’t talk anymore. After what he did to me, isn’t that what I wanted?
I don’t know anymore.
West appears again and says, “What a little prick. I should’ve kicked his ass.”
“He’s your brother, you would really hit him?”
“Of course I would. Olivia, I get how that must’ve looked for you, but you have no idea what Miles is like. He brought my dad here on purpose to get me in trouble.”
“How is violence any better? He was terrified of you.”
West actually laughs. “He wasn’t terrified, trust me. He just wants you to feel sorry for him.”
“You’re way bigger than him, West. I don’t like violence. Can you just take me home please?”
“Seriously? Come on, we were supposed to spend the day together.”
“This is too much for me. I just want to go home, please.”
With a sigh, West wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Okay, let’s go.” I lean into him, but my mind still plays what Miles said on repeat. Maybe I am a shitty friend. Maybe I deserve to be hated by him.
We head around to the front of the house, where the Corvette is parked. Miles and his parents watch us get into the car and drive away. Through the back window, I catch sight of Miles glaring at me until we can’t see each other anymore.
12
The radio fills the silence between West and me on the drive back to town. We’re passing the population sign when evening falls. My phone buzzes in my hand: a text from Keely. I had filled her in on what happened at the cabin, hoping that telling my best friend would help ease my mind, but it didn’t.
OMG I’m so sorry! I told Miles you guys were there, but I had no idea he would do that. I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me!!
I reread the text five times before anger singes through me. West pulls up to a red light as we reach downtown.
“Wow,” I say.
“What?” West asks, hand draped over the steering wheel. He doesn’t look at me.
“You were right. Miles knew we were there. He told on us.”
West says nothing.
“I can’t believe him,” I go on. “That’s so petty. I can’t believe I even thought about being his friend again.”
The light turns green, and West keeps driving, taking a left toward Keely’s neighborhood. “I just wanted to spend the day with you,” he says, his voice tired. “I don’t want Miles to ruin what we had going. You swam, Olivia. You did really well.”
My heart pulls at the memory; I wanted to spend the day with him too. And I still can’t believe I swam. But images of West shoving Miles into the cabin drown out the positives. I don’t even know if I should be mad at him. I’m more worried, really.
“I don’t like it when you’re violent, West,” I say quietly. “I have to be able to trust you.”
“I get it, and neither do I. Honestly, I lost my cool. I’m sorry you had to see it.”
“I’m mad at Miles, too, but the way you talked to him was messed up.”
“I know.”
“You were mean to him when we were kids too.”
“Yeah. I was.”
“Well? Why? Because you don’t talk to me like that. Or anyone else, I hope.”
We pull up to a stop sign. Within three minutes, we’ll be at Keely’s house, but the road behind us is empty, so West throws the car into park and stays put.
“Miles is my brother. There’s a lot about us you don’t know.” He laughs and rubs his eye. “That kid can be a nightmare.”
A nightmare. The dream sweeps into my mind. Miles floating outside my window, waving back and forth before letting all th
e water in, condemning me to death. It was just a dream. But what wasn’t a dream was when Miles grabbed me. The pressure of his fingers on my wrist echoes still—I can’t let myself forget that. I had been confused about whether our friendship should really end earlier, but now I’m certain.
We’re too different now. Whatever we had as kids is clearly gone.
But this, with West—it’s real. So as the car idles, my hand inches toward him, tempted to touch him again. He leans toward me, too, but just says, “You know, I always liked this about you.”
“Liked what?”
His eyes crinkle, and he averts his stare, almost like he’s shy. “You always told me how it was. I mean, you were the sweetest kid, but when it came down to it . . . you always told me how it was.”
“I didn’t even realize I was like that.”
“You were. You still are.”
I wring my thumb along my elastic and laugh a little. “I didn’t even think you liked me much when we were kids.”
“Are you kidding? I always thought you were cool, Olive. Life at home sucked, but you always wanted to hang out, and—”
“Go on,” I say, smiling.
“You’re making me sound like a sap.”
“No, I love it. Keep going. Please.” I don’t even care if I sound desperate. It’s like I’m finally reaching land.
West says, “You always had this smile, like, you could light up any room. When my dad was real mad at me and my stepmom hated me, being around you made me feel like I wasn’t so hated. Even when you were getting mad at me for being mean to Miles.”
“Oh, wow. Just FYI, you didn’t act like you liked me much at all. You were a little mean. And intimidating.”
“Yeah, well, I was a dumb kid. Trust me, I liked you. I didn’t come around to hang out with Miles—I could see him at home. I came to hang out with you.”
We fall quiet, still at the stop sign, but we haven’t seen a single other car. I could go back to Keely’s, spend the night alone in my room like I had planned. But I don’t want to anymore.